Species: Snake, ?
Description: A tiny snake with great potential.
That was who I was. That was what I was. A tiny snake with great potential. The sole creation of the Great Core.
It was just us, the Great Core and I, tucked away in our little corner of the World Dungeon. Together, we hid from the bad-things and the Coreless of the world outside - safe from the horrors that would consume us.
Until, one day, the Coreless found us. Until they tried to steal away my creator. Until, with no other option, I swallowed the Great Core that had made me.
Only after that did I become what I was always meant to be.
At last, I became the Great Core's Paradox in more than name.
[The Endless Cycle] began.
Thus begins the story of a little snake zealot and his journey to greatness.
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When I read this story's summary, my first thought was "Oh, it's a Snake Report ripoff." And indeed, as I read through the first half-dozen chapters, I noticed many similarities: a tiny snake worshipping an imaginary god, trying to survive in a hostile underworld filled with glowing, poisonous mushrooms, told in conversational first-person replete with hyphens of questionable grammaticality.
Of course, given that The Snake Report is a great story, similarities aren't necessarily bad. Furthermore, this story stands well on its own. Despite the small number of chapters released so far, we already have seen significant, interesting worldbuilding (while avoiding infodumps). The story is well written, with no typos that I noticed. The story does a good job of portraying the system as something mundane to the world's inhabitants rather than "other," which is difficult but, I think, important to a good, realistic (insofar as it can be) litrpg.
Given that the story is still in its infancy, I don't think I've read enough to give it 5 stars, but that may change later. I am mildly worried that Paradox will not be so cute when they become more powerful. Currently their zealotry and vengefulness are mostly funny, but that will change if they start massacring humans in the name of the Great Core or something. The story's tone seems to suggest a sympathetic MC, so I hope that the MC remains sympathetic. Of course, if Paradox is meant to be more of an antihero or villain, then that's fine, although I personally wouldn't find the story as enjoyable.
All hail the
Tiny Snake God Great Core!
The story is off to a great start! The protagonist's narration style is a wonderful blend of reliable and unreliable that really sinks in the impression that... yeah, we're not looking at a human here. It sees the world differently! The two chapters so far we've gotten to see from a human perspective reinforce that amazingly! It's a unique style that's not taken too far - it's just enough to be a fun flavor for the book without making the scenes difficult to understand.
The grammar's pretty much flawless, from what I've seen. There are sentences that are technically structured incorrectly, but it's done on purpose to set tone, and works well. A young, first person narrator will do that to you!
I'm very very curious about the world so far. We're getting little tidbits of worldbuilding woven very smoothly into the story, and it's painting a very cool picture. The plot itself is fun, although I'm a little bit concerned and will be keeping an eye out in case it starts turning into a dime-a-dozen "raaaar amgry at losing must grind stats instead of ever having character growth." It seems to be avoiding that pitfall so far, though.
So far we have one and a half characters, but I like what we've seen! Looking forward to seeing if we're about to upgrade to two full characters, which is looking likely. It doesn't feel like a lonely story so far though.
All in all, a great work so far! Looking forward to seeing where it goes from here! :D
First five chapters were highly enjoyable. Our main character, a baby snake turned ouroborous, is endearing and fierce. This is the first story to introduce me to the concept of an ascended creature (one who has eaten a core), so I'm eager to see next week's installment. Grammar is fairly flawless, though sentences could be trimmed here and there. There was no repeating information, and I felt the paragraphs were nicely sized. Looking forward to seeing where the little snek's adventure takes us!
I like the Snek, Snek is nice. Snek is reverent of the Great Core, like all Should be. Read Snek and enjoy.
If you enjoyed The Snek Report, you'll love this. The thought process of the Snek and its rationalizations for the things it encounters is the real meat of this story.
I like snakes. I like stories. I especially enjoy stories about snakes. The writing is good, with only my poor reading comprehension stopping me from just completely losing myself to it.
Also, just for funzies, here is my opinion on the idea of ouroboros. Please don’t take this seriously.
Snakes are almost universal, with only Antarctica, Canada, the Northern bits of Asia, and Ireland being notably safe (although snakes were never in Ireland, so St. Patrick removed a different kind of “venomous creatures”). This allows many cultures to interact with them and figure out different ways to slot them into their mythos, and allow different cultures to understand the gist of “ouroboros”, but Occam’s razor be damned, I think my explanation is cooler. The base of this idiotic string of ideas is tied to ball pythons. Ball pythons, as you might have guessed, are a type of snake. They are very common as pets, leading to them having a large market for specific colors and patterns. One of the rarer patterns is the “spider morph.” This morph’s gene is directly tied to a lack of coordination and balance, making the sale of such snakes to be banned in many circles. In my eyes, this could allow for a different gene to break: the one that controls your kinesthetic sense (a general understanding of where body parts are in relation to one another). This is important to ouroboros, trust me. Another thing to note is the natural habitat of the ball python, being west and central Africa. If you’ve done your history, you might understand that this is just about where humans were likely to have come from. If somehow magically stars aligned, it might have happened where a group of humans migrating, could have run into a snake, (not a ball python, but that one with venom) had managed to be born without the gene that gave them their kinesthetic sense. And if that snake had managed despite it’s disabilities to reach the length that it could see its tail by the time the humans were there, potentially the snake could have bit its own tail, with the pain from the tail convincing the snake that the prey was fighting back, so it should bite harder, causing a feedback loop. On top of all that, the human must have seen this one snake biting its tail, causing the root of the story. Now that a single group of humans knows of the ouroboros, the group can split off, allowing some different places to understand it while leaving the others in the dark. In short, all that would need to happen would be as follows;
A: The potential for a genetic deficiency would need to jump from the spider morph gene to a gene that controls kinesthetic sense, across the family tree from a constrictor to “colubroid” snakes.
B: A snake with the broken gene would need to survive to a reasonable size, managing to not be immediately killed by anything around it.
C: A group of Homo Sapiens would need to be in the area of the snake, perfectly at the time where it would strike itself, before they can even have the chance to see it.
D: The story and idea of ouroboros would need to stay relevant in the minds of this group even as they move across the world but the idea can never be too prevalent because that would force even more religions to use ouroboros subsets.
How very likely. Why did you read this far?
The snek is forever loyal to the great core. It's will is unwavering, and any enemies that stand between it and its diety will succumb before it's might.
This fic is super cute, probably in part because of the beautiful snek-thoughts narration style, but it also has that satisfying progression element that you come to RR for. Go on, read it! If you enjoyed stories like Shade Touched, you'll enjoy this one too.
This is a well written story from the perspective of a snake spawned by the Great Core with a habit of biting its own tail. I've noticed no mistakes in grammar, the characters feel pretty real, and while we haven't been told much about the world as a whole explicitly, the bits that we have been given so far hint at a solid foundation for an interesting world.
TLDR: It’s good, but I worry the author’s strong writing might not end up being enough to salvage the odd juxtaposition of the story's base premise.
I started writing this as a (smaller) comment on the most recent chapter, and about halfway through I realized, I wasn’t so much commenting as I was reviewing the story as a whole. This is the first one of these long form reviews I have done, and I’m doing it because I have such oddly conflicting feelings about this story. I hope it's helpful to someone:
I really like the main character, his point of view, and particularly his interactions with the supporting cast. The characterisation of the relationships and adorable misunderstandings between the cast are amazing . This snek is easily the best snek. The main issue with the story is its premise. This is a litrpg progression time loop story.
In most time loop stories, the character's progress is carried over from loop to loop. Over many loops Bill Murray learns to play the piano, Zorian becomes a master mage, and Quicksave achieves his perfect run, but because progression in this world comes from a System, progress gets wiped away when the loop restarts. Spending multiple chapters farming for experience and/or seeking out traits and then wiping away both the experience and traits when the loop starts over makes those chapters feel pointless, not only in retrospect, but also while I’m reading the chapters because I know that a loop is, in all likelihood, on the horizon. I find myself skimming chapters because I know that nothing that happens in them will matter.
I’m not sure if this issue can be fixed. I’m also not sure if this issue needs to be fixed or if it is a problem purely as a result of my own subjective taste. As with all things, I suppose time will tell.
The story makes for a fun read, and the quality of writing is a breath of fresh air, even when described from the unusual perspective of the MC :)
If you like litrpg with a non-human MC, it is definitely worth a read!
I look forward to seeing how this one progresses :)
Most stories with an animal.MC devolve... this story remains captivating, fun, enthralling, and manages to truly connect, empathize... so far one of my favorites being an interesting, refreshing take on a non human main character. Jesus christ !! I just wanted to give a good review about a story I loved.. not write a fricking book ... the 50 words review policy is really annoying