One Man's Journey

One Man's Journey

by FoxGhost

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Tragedy
Adam lived a carefree life between the borders of two rival kingdoms. He worried little of the brewing war. One night, demons assail his home town, shattering his previously calm life. Robbed of half his family and all of his eye sight, Adam starts a tough journey that will go beyond his wildest imagination.

At the behest of one of my readers, I will enlarge one tag: TRAGEDY <- There be a fare few of it in here. For some, it might be a fleeting moment. Others, it might hit you hard.
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FoxGhost

FoxGhost

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 01 ago
General Discussion and Updates ago
Chapter 02 ago
Chapter 03 ago
Chapter 04 ago
Chapter 05 ago
Chapter 06 ago
Chapter 07 ago
Chapter 08 ago
Chapter 09 ago
Chapter 10 ago
Chapter 11 ago
Chapter 12 ago
Chapter 13 ago
Chapter 14 ago
Chapter 15 ago
Chapter 16 ago
Chapter 17 ago
Chapter 18 ago
Chapter 19 ago
Chapter 20 ago
Chapter 21 ago
Chapter 22 ago
Chapter 23 ago
Chapter 24 ago
Chapter 25 ago
Chapter 26 ago
Chapter 27 ago
Chapter 28 ago
Chapter 29 ago
Chapter 30 ago
Chapter 31 ago
Chapter 32 ago
Chapter 33 ago
Chapter 34 ago
Chapter 35 ago
Chapter 36 ago
Chapter 37 ago
Chapter 38 ago
Chapter 39 ago
Chapter 40 ago
Chapter 41 ago
Chapter 42 ago
Chapter 43 ago
Chapter 44 ago
Chpater 45 ago
Chapter 46 ago
Chapter 47 ago
Chapter 48 ago
Chapter 49 ago
Chapter 50 ago
Chapter 51 ago
Chapter 52 ago
Chapter 53 ago
Chapter 54 ago
Chapter 55 ago
Chapter 56 ago
Chapter 57 ago
Chapter 58 ago
Chapter 59 ago
Chapter 60 ago
Chapter 61 ago
Chapter 62 ago
Chapter 63 ago
Chapter 64 ago
Chapter 65 ago
Chapter 66 ago
Chapter 67 ago
Chapter 68 ago
Chapter 69 ago
Chapter 70 ago
Chapter 71 ago
Chapter 72 ago
Chapter 73 ago
Chapter 74 ago
Chapter 75 ago
Chapter 76 ago
Chapter 77 ago
Chapter 78 ago
Chapter 79 ago
Chapter 80 ago
Chapter 81 ago
Chapter 82 ago
Chapter 83 ago
Chapter 84 ago
Chapter 85 ago
Chapter 86 ago
Chapter 87 ago
Chapter 88 ago
Chapter 89 ago
Chapter 90 ago
Chapter 91 ago
Chapter 92 ago
Chapter 93 ago
Chapter 94 ago
Chapter 95 ago
Chapter 96 (Epilogue) ago
Not a new chapter, Just announcing the second draft of this work has started! ago

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Overall

I registered just so I could rate this.

I've noticed that most stories on RoyalRoad begin with an over the top prologue of how the MC was unfairly bullied or betrayed; a brief intro that serves to hopefully connect the reader to the MC. The prologue is usually followed by a few chapters of how the MC overcomes this enormously unfair circumstance through seeming hard work and incredulous luck to become super powerful, and of course get the girl(s).   Although this setup makes for easy quick and mindless reading, it fails significantly to create a truly involved and captivating story. At best, they serve as a passing fancy akin to the recent balloon popping app that most of us will delete and forget in a few weeks. 

Rant over.

With that said, in One Man's Journey, FoxGhost seems to make a solid effort to break away from this mold. I've read all chapters posted thus far (19) and the MC has yet to even appear OP (there are hints of a future OP character, but nothing fleshed out yet). And yes, his world does get pretty effed up, and yes he does have to overcome seemingly huge obstacles, but nothing ridiculous. 

The story does a solid job of giving each of the characters in the story their own persona and somehow connecting everything and everyone together. 

All in all, this story is pretty darn good. No glaring grammar or punctuation mistakes.  No obvious plot holes. 

 

And, as I mentioned in my title, I registered just to rate this. Hopefully that says something.

Great job FoxGhost! 

AndrewRL
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A Good Story with One Glaring Problem

I'll start by saying I like this novel a lot. It's such a refreshing feeling after reading the multitudes of mostly cookie cutter Xianxia stories with stupid main leads, arrogant and equally stupid villains, and generic sex doll "peerlessly beautiful" girls we call harem members, to have genuinely kind characters with actual personalities and compassion and sympathy for other characters. That was a bit of a run on sentence, but I hope you see where I'm getting with this. The characters are nice, they act for the most part realistically and how you could expect them to act, and the stories been interesting so far up to chapter 30 as well. But as of chapter 30, I can't continue reading this novel, because of one major problem. As you could probably guess from the score I gave it, it has something to do with the characters I just complimented so much.

 

The problem is simple, it's the dialogue. The dialogue, is without mincing words, terrible. It's not that the characters say stupid things, or they're unintelligent. It's not that the dialogue is hard to read. The dialogue is concise, to the point, and for the most part well thought out, but that's exactly the problem. Your main cast as of chapter 30, consists of Adam, Vivienne, Cathryn, Hansen, and Helen, with slightly lesser roles being Alfred (and the rest of the orphans), Janette, Clayton (and his mercenaries), and maybe the receptionist. Out of all those people, about half of them are CHILDREN, so why, why, WHY are they all saying these well formulated and concise sentences when asked a question, or when they talk at all? Not even adults talk like that, but it's even more jarring when it's children. They don't speak like that! And to specify, I went and found random dialogue, from random chapters, to show how major the problem is.

 

First from chapter 12

“Oh?” Vivienne finally noticed the box in Adam's lap. She was still a bit apprehensive about it, but it seemed safe for now. “How did it go?”


“Not very well. It is hard to figure out the shape and it is too noisy here!” Adam complained.

Adam is about 10 years old. I can't say I'm privy to what a 10 year old would respond to Viviennes question, but it wouldn't be that. "It is hard to figure out" Could be "It's hard to figure out" Combine the words, they all sound like robots. Don't make all of their dialogue so concise, a 10 year old doesn't always have to be so clear about their sentences. For example, the same meaning could be gotten from him saying.

 

"Not good, the shape's weird and it's too noisy!"

 

Adam just said the exact same sentence, in half the words, and in a much more believable way. And this process could be repeated for 90% of the dialogue in the story, perhaps only when Cathryn is explaining information on Spiritualists is where it could be kept mostly the same and still seem believable.

 

This doesn't just apply to the kids though, it's just way more unbelievable in their case.

 

From chapter 13

Vivienne cut in with a heated voice: “You took him into the girl's bath house!? I should have known better than to leave him to one of your schemes! Even if he is blind he is still a boy!”

 

This could easily be shortened.

 

"You took him where!? I shouldn't have left him to one of your schemes, blind or not, he's still a boy!"

 

Back to chapter 1 with Adam

"Why do they make the names of the days and months sounds so weird? I don't like it."


Adam could only give a vague answer. "Well, these names came from the First Era. They spoke very differently from now. It is said that the names of the days and the months are the only things that have been remembered or passed down from the First era."

"Why do they make the day and months sound so weird? I don't like it."

 

"Well, the names are from the first Era, they spoke weirdly back then. The names are supposedly the only thing still remembered from back then

 

Can you see where I'm getting at with this issue? It's so utterly jarring if you notice it, and I noticed it after only a few chapters. Changing it would help readability and the believability of the characters a LOT. And I would love to reread this story from chapter 1 once you complete the second draft you occasionally mention in the comments. Though I honestly think you should rewrite the first book before starting on the second.

 

The only other decent sized problem was something someone mentioned in the comments, you tend to spend a lot of sentences on meaningless stuff like travel time to the institute, going here or there, etc. etc. It slows down the chapters, and hurts the pacing.

 

Between that and the characters, I took off two stars for style. It's decent, but has problems. And I took off two and a half stars for characters. I could take off more, but other than the dialogue I really like them and their quirks.

 

Anyways, I hope this review helps when you eventually write your second draft of the story, and I would love to be messaged on RR when the second draft is complete, whenever that may be. For now, this is regrettably going on my Read Later list. Thanks for the interesting story in the mean time!

AnarchyDev
Overall

A start of a believable fantasy story....

Really enjoyed the start of this story after reading all those reincarnation OP MC's stories. Have read until chapter 7 at this review and liked what I read... 

 

A normal 8 years old kid at the start with a tragedy to either shape him into further growth or its just your average life in a Monster and war filled world where death is really common... 

 

Read it... 

nBosega
Overall

This is what I've been looking for

 I thoroughly enjoyed what I've read so far.

 

This isn't yet another reproduction of a popular idea but something that tries to be truly original.

 

I especially enjoy and love that there is a believable character progression and everything isn't answered with OP skills

 

I can only hope that this story stays on the path logical progression with set realism

 

Thanks for the great read.

foxnaren
Overall

Gr8 Story, good flow and very little to no mistakes :)

This is a good story and i am looking forward to future chapters.  Thank you for the story. 

 

Update: The jump between the sword training and the test seems a little abrupt. Many be something to lead up to the test or drop references to it in earlier chapters etc. 

younglink098
Overall

This is a really good story. I just don't like what happened on around chapter 50+.  I still recommend to read this.

 

*contains some spoiler?*

 

I really hate what happened when he got back. I understand why that happened but it feels like netorare for me. Or maybe it really is netorare. XD 

 

 

Woodstockmonk
Overall

incredibly refreshing and enjoyable story

this is one of the best stories i have read on royalroad.

it is incredibly well written and the way the author describes and tells their story makes me feel like i'm there looking through the characters. 

overall if you are looking for a refreshing story to experience in royalroad then you have found it.

 

Voidwalker
Overall
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 One of the better original stories to visit the site, although it might be a bit slow for many.

 

In particular the system of gaining power in the OMJ universe is interesting without being ridiculous and feeds into the story.

 

 

lxg1k1
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

You are a fan of Robin Hobb aren't you?

This is not much of a review but more of a warning for new readers.

First this story is good and has good wrinting but you have to be ready for heartache. If you are familiar with Robin Hobb assassin apprentice series and you are a fan then this is certainly a story you will like. Unfortunatly i stopped reading at chapter 44 because i started to see the signs of what was going to happen and after what i experienced with those books and others with similar settings. So i decided to check a few chapters ahead  and my fears came true. Not saying the story is bad because i loved those books i just was not ready for another dose of "mc masochism". I will probably reread this story after it has ended but for now it is on my waitng list.



In a nutshell this story is GOOD...... but not for the faint hearted (always wanted to say that xD)

                        Keep up the good work author.

xtremeloldude
Overall

minor grammar errors that occasionally start getting annoying, but all around great story whilst going trough it (4 stars) and then you arrive at around chapter 50 and you just get body slammed and it goes up to 5 stars