Vigor Mortis

Vigor Mortis

by Thundamoo

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

In a world of sky islands orbiting around a core of mist, humanity is besieged with countless threats.  When a young girl from the slums unwittingly becomes one of those threats, she finds herself capable of horrific things that she can’t help but learn to love...  

Vigor Mortis is a lighthearted story about existential terror.  Come for the horror, stay for the hope.  

Updates W-F.  Enjoy the read!

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Thundamoo

Thundamoo

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Table of Contents
177 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
1. Wavering Souls ago
2. Their Soul and You ago
3. Return with Interest ago
4. Still Warm ago
5. Yellow Sky ago
6. The Mistwatcher ago
7. Living Blasphemy ago
8. Not a Kiddo ago
9. Fattening Up ago
10. Hunting for Friends ago
11. Team Training ago
12. Home Team ago
13. The Cusp ago
14. Hugs at Home ago
15. Growing Vigilance ago
16. Rout on the Route ago
17. Monstrous Musings ago
18. Hound eat Hound ago
19. Sticky-Souled Situation ago
20. Culture Shock ago
21. Girl Behind the Window ago
22. Future Worries ago
23. Sleeping Twice ago
24. Shattered Mirror, Pt. 1 ago
25. Shattered Mirror, Pt. 2 ago
26. Ego Death ago
27. Monster Mash ago
28. Friendship Prison ago
29. Take Your Vitamins ago
30. Poisonous Revelations ago
31. Hiverock Night ago
32. Mother of Thieves ago
33. Lion's Den ago
34. Trapped Inside ago
35. Future Promises ago
36. Connections Drawn ago
37. The One Below All ago
38. Deus ex Anima ago
39. Lines Drawn ago
40. Family of Lies ago
41. No Better Option ago
42. Hugs and Horrors ago
43. Penultimate Practice ago
44. Worst Nightmare ago
45. Lonely Genocide ago
46. A Hunter's Song ago
47. Work-Life Balance ago
48. Things That Matter ago
49. Do No Harm ago
50. Stacking the Deck ago
51. Twisted Love ago
52. Big Happy Family ago
53. A Lark's Story ago
54. Draken's Den ago
55. Head Full of Sky ago
56. Soul Surgery ago
57. Family Meeting ago
58. Fragile ago
59. Chicken Soup for the Undead Soul ago
60. Stretched Thin ago
61. Delicious Humans ago
62. Void Beast ago
63. Void Child ago
64. Understanding ago
65. Rest and Recrimination ago
66. Big Sister ago
67. Pit of Despair ago
68. Let Them Come ago
69. Sovereign Right ago
70. Feelings ago
71. Center of Attention ago
72. What He Deserves ago
73. Immune System ago
74. Divinity ago
75. Calm Before the Storm ago
76. Skyfall ago
77. Family Feast ago
78. Atrophy ago
79. Blue Ocean ago
80. Being Known ago
???: Dragoneye Mortis, Part 1 ago
???: Dragoneye Mortis, Part 2 ago
81. Forest Ecosystem ago
82. Inevitable Decision ago
83. Monster ago
84. Trust and Respect ago
85. Spooky Sensations ago
86. Monster vs. Monster ago
87. No Escape ago
88. Good Deed ago
89. Rhetorical Questions ago
90. Disgusting ago
91. Personal ago
92. Lady in Waiting ago
93. Being Seen ago
94. Hindsight and Forethought ago
95. Weird Mask Day ago
96. Making Headway ago
97. Heretic House ago
98. Time to Think ago
99. Humanity Overrated ago
100. Life and Death ago
101. Plotting Dates ago
102. Stealth Mission ago
103. Boss Battle ago
104. Deum Timete ago
105. No Good Deed ago
106. Laws and Customs of War ago
107. Goes Unpunished ago
108. Site 4 ago
109. Epsilon-One ago
110. Invasive Examinations ago
111. Meet and Greet ago
112. Parallels ago
113. Crime Against Nature ago
114. Lost and Found ago
115. Filia Mortis ago
116. Ars Longa, Vita Brevis ago
117. Difference in Scale ago
118. Stairway to Heaven ago
119. Last Meal ago
120. Pass or Fail ago
121. Letting It Out ago
122. The Road Home ago
123. Homemade Horrors ago
124. Reunited ago
125. Cross-Purposes ago
126. Sleeping Dragon ago
127. Fire Flight ago
128. Trustworthy ago
129. Unwanted Responsibility ago
130. Skeletons in the Closet ago
131. Hollow Vessel ago
132. Stained Glass ago
133. Depressed Face ago
134. She Deserves It ago
135. Survival Preferred ago
136. Toy Story ago
137. Contentment ago
138. Make Cuddles, Also War ago
139. Big Happy Family ago
140. Stronger ago
141. Soul to Soul ago
142. Follow Orders ago
143. Ironsoul ago
144. Heresy ago
145. Do or Die ago
146. Aftershock ago
147. Dissonance ago
148. In Plain Sight ago
149. Drinking Games ago
150. Subterfuge ago
151. Propositions ago
152. City Killer ago
153. Demigod Daycare ago
154. Worldshaker ago
155. Truce ago
156. Calamity Protocol ago
157. Shells ago
158. Superior Master ago
159. Queen's Gambit ago
160. Pneuma ago
161. Lost Comforts ago
162. Little Sister ago
163. Duty and Station ago
164. Both ago
165. Better Than Ever ago
166. COME ON AND SLAM ago
167. Resignation ago
168. Smooth ago
169. Principissa Mortis ago
170. Principissa Vita ago
171. Little Bug ago
172. Monsters and Mortals ago
173. Regrettable but Inevitable ago
174. Unspeakable Horrors ago
175. Chasm of Disdain ago

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Reviews
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Blisss
Overall

The forest and the trees

Reviewed at: 156. Calamity Protocol

Im editing my origional review as the story has changed so drastically. 

Basically, the further we go on the less the auther seems to care about the actual story, and having well planned well executed character and narative arcs. Instead it devolves into 'how can i mentally fuck up all these characters as much as possible, with no regard to narrative cohesion' . Whilst messed up characters always have been a part of this fiction, it used to be to a believable degree with explorations of a few specific caracters dealing with their mental problems as the narrative progressed, but now whenever a character is introduced its a spin the wheel of what issue they will have, that the auther will then focus on above everything else.

Again, whilst these picking one or two issues and weaving them into the plot can be great, its gotten to the point of sacraficing all else in favour of anyone and everyone as messed up as possible.

Other than that, the grammar is consistently good, the worldbuilding is great when given time to shine, and I enjoy the authors style and prose 

 

Gamph Madol
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Well written, and better presented.

Reviewed at: 27. Monster Mash

This fiction is close enough to grammatically flawless that I cannot think of a single mistake or even obviously questionable phrasing. The world building is also presented skillfully, obviously present and trackable, but not overly emphasized or unnaturally represented.

However, one of the qualities I appreciate the most is how the characters’ behavior and motivations are not overly emphasized or seemingly absent. In a shocking percentage of fiction containing themes like forbidden abilities, a lower class protagonist or a church or similar organization that persecutes the protagonist, the conflict is made over the top.

The upper class, in whatever form, will be unnaturally evil, behaving in a way no sane human being should as a way to instigate emotional reactions. Similarly, the protagonist and their allies will be shaped and motivated by this.

In my experience, that is a common and disappointing mistake, and is not present in this fiction. Instead, despite the injustice inherent in their environment, it is not presented unnaturally and is allowed to simply be seen as the nature of the world. The closes point to falling to the trope is her first kill, but it is not taken to a degree that feels out of place.

Overall, this is an excellent story that I would recommend reading, engaging, in depth and capable of pulling off themes that often trip up writers.

Genofour
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

An excellent story held back by the Author

Reviewed at: 148. In Plain Sight

EDIT: Totally updated the review after chapter 162. My opinion have changed overall. Especially on the Character side of things

Overall: Vigor Mortis is a story that, during the best parts, will make you wait in torture for the next chapter. The plot is extremely interesting, the power system is well-developed, and there are constant foreshadowing about what is to come and often this is enough to totally overshadow any wrongs in this story. 

But oh boy, the bad parts are bad, extremely so.

 

Style: The style is almost excellent, and were it not for a few moments where the author did not manage to convey the character's emotion and actions.

 

Grammar: Never spotted any mistake.

 

Story: I've already sung the praises of this story. Simply put, the setting is amazing while being realistic. You can feel the momentum each character brings to the world with their action, and the world is anything but static.

 

Characters: To be short: They suck. I re-read the story, and I kid you not I cannot find ONE character whom I think is written well. This is even more aggravated by the fact that Vita slowly stops being a character and more of a plot tool with vague feelings guiding her along the way.

To explain it in more depth: No character is deep enough to be even truly understood. To the point where I'm starting to think that the author barely plans the plot around the character and simply bends their personality to make it so the plot can go on. It is so jarring that multiple times during my initial reading I thought that the author was trying to subtly hint that the character were mind-controlled during these actions, but no, it's simply bad writing.

And when I mean every character, I mean every character. I literally re-read the story with a notebook where I wrote the name of each character to try and come up with a general idea of why I disliked them so much, but I just wasn't able to think of them as anything but puppets. Puppets that are defined by one single defining trait, and that do not matter except in the scope of the plot. Again, the only one that barely manages to escape this initially is Vita, but she gets worse as time goes on.

Finally... Lark. At some point in the story the author introduces a character, and we start to get regular PoV chapters from him to the point that they make up for around half of all chapters after her introduction. This is a decision that still manages to make my scratch my head, because she's not an interesting character. She's not an important character as we find out. She doesn't really bring a new perspective to the story, most of her chapters are either physical torture porn or emotional torture porn. Her chapters are so laughably useless that I actually laughed out loud during my re-read knowing that ther character development would be thrown out of the window to deliver small plot-demanded gut punches.

 

Vigor Mortis is not a bad story. It's not good either. If you are able to withstand and extremely shallow cast of characters, you're likely going to find the series really entertaining, otherwise, this is probably not for you.

123whothatbe
Overall

The worldbuilding, magic system and the general plot are all very good. I especially like the worldbuilding, with the minor cosmic horror theme in the background being the main reason i'm still reading.

That said i really dislike how the main character is written and how the other characters react to her. The reason i don't like how her character is written is that all her personality quirks are forced down your throat by the author on a frequent basis, they also often feeling mutually exclusive with one another.

To give an example of the throat forcing, would be the whole adorable thing. Repeatedly throughout this story Vita does something cute, then the author emphasises how cute that action is by having Vita deny its cute, then some other character will say "wow that was so cute Vita" - which Vita will then deny. This will go on for another paragraph, just to emphasise how really cute Vita is.

The constant over emphasization of how Vita is a starving orphan is another one. Multiple times now the author makes a side character that doesn't really like Vita come along to witness how poor she is, so that they can then change their mind and like her. Another example that constantly comes up, is when Vita doesn't understand some concept - because she's poor - and then another character will say "i can't believe you dont know this (thing)". Vita will then proceed to describe how poor she is in weird amounts of detail. Side character now loves Vita more, the reader feels more sympathy towards Vita and the whole world is now acutely aware of how utterly poor Vita is.

Alright i think i've given you the general gist, next point!

So Vita was raised on the streets by herself with no support -  until very late on. Despite this, she is very kind hearted, caring and cutesy - thats all fine, seems unlikely those circumstances would cultivate those traits in anyone, but its possible. She is then also shown to be very steadfast, willing to kill and does well in stressful situations - doesn't really mesh well with the first few traits but okay. Then lastly she is shown to breakdown crying after someone was mean to her, becomes incredibly close and vulnerable to people she's only known for a few weeks. None of these traits are mutually exclusive per se, but they are an incredibly weird mishmash and seem to switch quickly depending on whether the author wants to elicit sympathy points or to show her as a badass. Just keep your character consistent and stop trying to make her both vulnerable and cutesy, as well as an independent badass.

Lastly, unrelated to Vita. The invisible mind control slimes, which most people arent aware of, can instantly take over people regardless of power level and can then make them kill themselves. How the hell have they not already taken over human civilisation or just the whole world by mind controlling everything? Hopefully theres a reason in text, but the fact these obviously insanely dangerous creatures are almost completely unknown is weird as hell. 

 

Edit: May i just say i got a downvote on this about 5 seconds after i posted it. There is no way in hell anyone read it that quickly, so whoever you are, you suck big time.

Laevo
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

If you enjoy a good Blue/Black Mage story...

Reviewed at: Hound eat Hound

Since my first contact with the LitRPG genre in the form of Travis Bagwell's novels, or perhaps even before that as I played HOMM3 with my father at the tender age of 10, I've always had an appreciation for Necromancy and other ''evil'' magics.

Something about the way that a fireball could kill someone with a thought but isn't considered as evil as someone who brings another back to life has always tickled my hypocrisy bone. 

More specifically though, I think its that storys about the 'evil' magics being wielded by an otherwise normal person always come with a bit of intrigue. Either way, I think that Thundamoo is doing a very good job with this story. I picked it up last night and was unable to put it down until my eyes actually closed themselves. The first time I've actually fallen asleep while reading in a long time, and only because I was exhausted before hand (I supposed my sleep schedule is thankful for that).

The MC is an orphan, but doesn't spend much time at all feeling the same sort of self-pity one would expect after the first chapter or so. Just enough for you to know that her life kind of just sucks.

Her power is likely illegal, which we know, but she doesn't hide it from her friends or try to become a secret super hero as many do. She is well aware that she is far over her head and seeks help from those close to her, which I appreciate. She doesn't even do the typical cliche of trying to hide her first zombie for some sort of forced sentimental reason, something that I've always found a bit cringy. There is even minimal reflection on the first kill, which is a big plus to me. (I've always hated the, 'my stomach turned and I could sleep and also vomit' or whatever that followed characters from universe to universe, from story to story, regardless of the circumstance of the kill or the underlying trauma that should make them numb to it.)

We are able to see her psyche warp in almost real time, or perhaps we mearly glimpse the trauma from a lifetime of abuse and starvation. Who knows, and who cares? It's fun either way. 

 

Sumac
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

It's a fun ride up to a point

Reviewed at: 93. Being Seen

I enjoyed the story a lot up to a point where I realized that there won't be much progress with regard to character building. There just isn't much depth to the characters (even the main ones, cause the side ones fall flat straight from the beginning) and having read 92 chapters at this point, I do not expect things to change. To be honest, it would not be a problem if the story remained "lighthearted" as its description suggests but at some point, due to the protagonist's choices, I could not treat it as such anymore. It's either or, but can't be both. 

Some people could perhaps stay for the plot as it's certainly very enjoyable and fast-paced though, again, I do not have the patience to wait for the disclosure of big secrets if other parts of the story are not up to a par. 

The style is very consistent throughout, though the chapters written from the point of view of characters other than Vita feel as if they were narrated by her nonetheless. 

I haven't noticed anything amiss with regard to grammar. 

Overall, the story is "easy on the eye" but not enough not to drop it. 

Dreydfaer
Overall

The reason you'll see so many high ratings for this story is for the same reason I'm hesitant to even post my review: there's a lot here to like. Where I personally start hemming and hawing over recommending the story though is in how disjointed so much of it feels.

Each part of what drives the story is technically good. The caveat to that statement is earned through the herculean suspension of disbelief the reader is asked to repeatedly perform, either due to strange tone shifts, out-of-left field drops in intelligence, or simply taboo (in this world) magics being glossed over into a "huh, I guess we have to deal with this". 

Think of it like this - the characters are passable, but are strangely related to the world. The world is interesting, but doesn't seem to mesh with the plot. The plot could be intriguing, if it were spread out more or split into different stories.

The biggest example I can think of to show why I feel this way is technically a spoiler...but really would be a dealbreaker for most readers not looking for an active antihero:

We are given a scenario where invisible parasitic slime monsters are attached to two members of the party. A number of fairly obvious clues lead up to the revelation that these monsters take over the host body.

MC decides that after freeing one party member from literal enslavement (one that has your actual self acting as an observer inside your own body as the slime controls everything), that these creatures aren't all that bad, except in the case of the one that has somehow supplanted her team lead's soul in a matter of days.

Keep in mind that up until this point, we've been seeing a kind of 'rage against authority/the ones keeping you down' vibe around everything. Also up until this point, MC is readily killing basically everything she can to fuel her growth, but suddenly the slime trying to control some of the only people willing to give her the time of day are A-okay.

 

kabs
Overall

Grief porn that starts well

Reviewed at: 87. No Escape

The story has an interesting premise, characters are fleshed out, action scenes are well written, but it later degenerates into unneccessary grief. There are repeated chances for good things to happen, but for reasons I don't agree with, they just don't happen- instead things get worse for everyone. Things progressively get sadder and sadder as the main character gets more and more reprehensible and more powerful. 

Additionally, every character except for two seem to be deeply bitter. 

I did not enjoy reading this.

alphabetA
Overall

Started strong, then came the gratuitous horror

Reviewed at: 53. A Lark's Story

It started out great, then got a little weird with the introduction of Penta, but I stuck with it.

Then out of the blue the author turns to writing straight-up horror. Their response to criticism was "oh well", so I gave the story up at that point.

If gratuitous horror and torture isn't your thing, this won't be a story for you. If it is your thing, maybe it is!

lavos1999
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

As serial decent, but not worth the time as whole

Reviewed at: 144. Heresy

I could go on a longer rant, but ultimately it boils down to a lot of things happen yet it doesn't really feel so. Like it is just... a series of events that while individually might be compelling don't really make a whole, and trying to think more about any given part or looking back/forward on things just leaves me apathetic.

I tend to read a lot and from there wonder about interactions that never happened within a story/setting and with different ones from everything read recently, or that happened to stick in my mind for longer. But it has been quite a while since anything in this story made me actually think about it as a reader, instead of reviewer, and I think that really says a lot about how I feel about it, or rather how I don't really feel anything from it.

Thus the style and story scores there. Characters though is a weird one because it is actually done well I reckon, just dragged down by the context so going with a 3 as sorta average even if that feels like missing the point. Grammar I can't recall stopping any point to sigh at, so clearly done well.

So to conclude while reading it as serial, and thus each chapter as it comes up, can be entertaining can't really recommend anyone to read it otherwise.