Path of the Dragon Mage: Exiled

by S.G. Seabourne

(LitRPG/GameLit) (Previously named The Bastard Prince)

Born magically talentless, Prince Corvus is an embarrassment the royal family and is removed from succession. However, he still has a chance to win back his throne. The next man or woman to hatch a dragon automatically becomes the ruler. Each member of the royal family is gifted with a dragon egg, but it is the work of a lifetime to hatch it.

The first time Corvus touches his dragon egg, he receives an odd notification: He has found a soulbound item and is tasked with an epic quest to hatch it... but only if he can walk the winding path of the dragon mage.

Armed with notifications, skill increases, and levels only he can see, Corvus is determined to hatch his dragon.

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S.G. Seabourne

S.G. Seabourne

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Noctis479
Overall

Interesting start so far! Early days as I'm only on the 4th chapter but the story is well written, and the premise seems interesting! 

The main character seems realistic, doesn't suffer from being either far too confident/smart for his age or a total wimp like many of the genre fall into.

Look forward to seeing where this goes!

Chipcarver
Overall

This story is just starting out, and already the main character has a well developed personality. The story is exciting, but also even-paced. The idea of several different types of magic working together in the same world is quite intriging. I can't wait for the dragons egg to hatch! - - - -

Fulgur
Overall

Great start can't wait to see where it goes

Reviewed at: 17. Swarm

Story is still young at the time of this review, but it's been nothing but solid with the pacing and character development. The side characters have been introduced well and feel part of the story. I think the world building will slowly get better and more full, as the story just started, but I dislike the use of "player" for the skill menu. It's a personal thing not based on anything but conjecture. When I see the word "player" it makes me think the direction of the story is going to divert from the main plot of Corvus coming into his own, hatching a dragon, and becoming king. I hope it doesn't become this wierd side story that detracts from the main plot with wierd connections to earth or the world being a videogame or something. The current growth of the Corvus, his reaction to events, and overall perspective feels very realistic and actually appropriate for his age and lifestyle. He's not some arrogant young master or some wish fulfillment story where everything works out for him and he's some unrealistic genius level kid. Basically, this story isn't some half rate garbage you find all over the site with actual pacing, storytelling., And characters with believable world views and actions. However, time will tell if this persists.

Owlish
Overall

tldr: I like it, give the first few chapters a try.

The fancy cover caught my eye, thought I'd give it a read. It's fun, clearly going to be a The Chosen One Saves The Kingdom kind of High Fantasy book. The GameLit elements are strong, after a certain point in time dang near everything become a Skill for out hero.

Grammar is good, with a couple of errors that don't really disrupt the flow. Characters are flawed, and everyone has a secret. Or more.

Elliot_Flanders
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

How To Take Royal Road By Storm

Reviewed at: 13. A New Quest

Story: 4.5/5

After starting off strong with his first fiction Colonize, S.G. Seabourne has returned to enthrall readers with a gripping tale of magic and political intrigue. With Path of the Dragon Mage, the author has taken a classic formula and executed it with a high degree of skill—and then added an additional, compelling twist.

We begin the story by following Corvus, a noble youth seemingly without magical ability. His personality has been shaped by social rejection and feelings of inadequacy, and the author is meticulous in emphasizing this, as well as in depicting the dysfunction of his politically scheming family. With only a dormant dragon egg in his possession and the mysterious text of a system that appears before his eyes, Corvus soon finds himself thrust into unfamiliar circumstances that put his wits and resourcefulness to the test.

Many writers would be content with this tried-and-true structure for their story, but our author has some surprises up his sleeve. The inclusion of seemingly anachronistic terms like “photosynthesis” is clearly calculated, and indeed the story’s VR tag indicates that Corvus’s fantasy world is not as straightforward as it seems. The nature of the story’s system remains mysteriously unexplained, and we have no doubt that the LitRPG elements will play an integral role in the narrative. One minor issue keeps us from awarding a full five stars in this category (spoiler for chapter 8): 

The MC learns how to use magic in an anticlimactic way, with the knowledge he needed for a breakthrough being handed over on a silver platter. A major development of that nature deserved more buildup and effort on his part.

Style: 4.5/5

The author has an engaging, eminently readable style, varied in its imagery and competent in its descriptions of the protagonist’s thought processes and emotions. Without relying on flowery or ornate language, the author is also capable of crafting strikingly vivid scenes, as can be seen in this description of the king using magic:

There was no warning. The wall that separated the antechamber to the royal receiving room simply melted away as if the stones were made of soft wax. The stonework, marble, and the golden filigree puddled to the floor like liquid and ran in rivulets...

On the other hand, half a star has been deducted because a number of sentences are slightly awkward, or require minor tweaking; for example:

The violently pink egg was cool to the touch and inert in a way he couldn't quite explain. Like touching a stone statue completely without movement.

This sentence is perfectly understandable, but doesn’t feel quite right because “violently” should be “shocking” (a shocking pink) and the phrase “stone statue without movement” is a little odd, as it can be taken to imply that statues ordinarily do move. While little issues like these don’t come anywhere close to spoiling the reader’s enjoyment, they do crop up from time to time.

As for the story’s Lit-RPG elements, they are judiciously employed and clearly one of the story’s strengths. They are well written, appear when appropriate, and are not used as a crutch to compensate for proper story telling, or as superfluous padding to extend chapter length. Essentially, Path of the Dragon Mage is a hybrid story, midway between a conventional fantasy and a Lit-RPG. Thus far neither aspect outweighs the other, and the result is an agreeable read with much to appeal to fans of both genres.

The author does, however, have to make sure he preserves this healthy balance: in a recent chapter, the protagonist kept himself from weeping, which promptly unlocked the skill, “Emotional Control.” This may be a little excessive; our fear is that if “not crying” is a skill, the MC’s profile and skill list will quickly assume daunting proportions as the story progresses and more and more abilities are acquired. So long as this pitfall is avoided, the story will remain stylistically appealing up to its conclusion.

Grammar: 4/5

The author favors simple but functional sentence structures, and he is diligent in keeping the story’s tense consistent. On the other hand, there are a few niggles to point out: punctuation is occasionally missing, some commas are superfluous, and typos are not an uncommon sight. These issues are becoming less and less prominent as readers point out mistakes and the author fixes them, but it does mean that the story’s early chapters are generally smoother reads than its latest releases.

Characters: 4/5

Though the involving narrative will understandably draw and retain the interest of most readers, we must also make mention of the story's commendable characterization. The protagonist is convincingly presented as a self-doubting, well brought up noble youth, with whom we can readily sympathize. The product of a troubled upbringing, Corvus is clearly lacking in self-confidence, but not to a wearisome degree, and his character arc promises to be significant. Accordingly, we look forward to seeing his growth as the story unfolds.

As for the rest of the cast, some side characters (such as the MC’s father) have received less development than others, but there are hints of underlying depth. Many of the characters speak to Corvus with ulterior motives, and there is an ambiguity behind their words and actions that will keep readers wondering what twists and turns lie ahead in the narrative.

In terms of tone, from the royal Aunt Sunli to the rough-speaking Solt and the commoner Gwen, every character possesses a distinctive voice and we have no difficulty keeping track of who’s who. Where the author can improve is by accentuating class differences; though the dialogue of nobles and commoners certainly differs, the effect could be strengthened by making peasant speech more dialectal, or noble speech more elevated.

Overall: 4.5/5

The author has laid an excellent foundation for a highly entertaining coming of age story. A must for LitRPG and fantasy fans alike!

CAL111
Overall

The story is fantastic so far ( chapter 13). The character are well written and the scenery descriptions are great. I really like the take on the whole Litrpg, where he doesn't really know about it and he's the only one that has acces to it. Definitely looking forward to reading this, and would definitely recommend.

Kent Casandra
Overall

Dragons! Well... not yet.

Reviewed at: 14. Level 2

I love the main character and I love the fact that we are left to discover such a cool world on our own instead of having it shoved down our throats.

 

Plus I love dragons and non-conventional magic types. Venomancers, chronomancers, curseweavers, etc. are my jam.

 

The characters here aren't one dimensional. The author didn't just paste one character trait on to them and called it a day. Even the first time you get introduced to a character you could tell that there's something more beneath the surface.

Kyte.flyrite
Overall

If you imagine Eragon in an RPG world but write it ten times better, you are close to the mark on this series. I see potential to create a cult following no less than series such as LMS! I am looking forward to the journey the author will provide for many years to come!

kkarakk
Overall

Well written story with grounded characters and gradual meaningful power ups   

The names are fantasy names but aren't outlandish which is always a peeve of mine in fantasy style stories. Characters also speak like regular people without any weird in universe Grammar rules so it's easy to read. 

 

Subtracted half a star because

1.author likes cliffhangers too much. Feels like bait for *jingles coins*    

2.the numbers don't actually mean anything and resource usage is very arbitrary. Rat scratch? 1 hp point usage.

Charge a rune? 20 points.

Overpower a rune lock? 200+ points!

Charge a rune to hold a boss monster more than 10 levels above MC? 45 points.

 

Feels very author pulled number out of rng instead of an actual calculation which ruined my enjoyment a little since I quickly stopped caring about the actual numbers and started skipping over them which just makes the system feel pointless.   

If either of these things are fixed I would give it a full five stars

Warning:author has another well received story that has been on hiatus for 5 months and now this story has been started. This is relevant info coz no one likes reading a good story that goes on hiatus for no apparent reason. Stop deleting my reviews royalroad,your rules are arbitrary and you know it. 

 

Lungster
Overall

Possibility of Kidnapping author.

Reviewed at: 18. Boss Fight

It is really freat sotry. It pulled me in, and i got pulled out only by lack of chapetrs... Had i have any sort of real power, i would kindnap author and force him to write without stopping. 

Sadly that would lead to drop in quaility in wich i am not interested. Anyway, story up until now is great, fun and system thing is done above avarege.