Tales From The White Gold Desert

Tales From The White Gold Desert

by AugustLivedHere

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

*New chapter when I can get some time free of work or university. 

You! Yes, you! Were you ever kidnapped by a sentient tree and tossed through a portal into a colonial fantasy world that has just discovered gunpowder? Do you like action, adventure, not knowing what the hell is going on, and strange curses? If so, your name might be Ben Everett. 

Ben Everett was enjoying some after-battle relaxation when an ill-fated act of mercy has him kidnapped from his own reality. Thrown in the middle of a battle between two rising powers, he must make sure he survives long enough to learn the mysteries of this new world.

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  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
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AugustLivedHere

AugustLivedHere

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Promising and very detailed novel

Reviewed at: Chapter 11

OVERALL

Other than the first few chapters which gave off a very rocky start to me, the novel surprisingly picks up in quality a lot following that and lays out a very interesting and expanding plot for us to follow. The writing reminds me of print novel quality in web-novel format and I would definitely recommend sticking out for that.


STYLE

The novel's strongest point in my opinion. The descriptions of scenery are very vivid and help you immerse yourself into the world around you as well as the situations. The dialogue between the characters is the highlight and the author has a knack for making them both entertaining and realistic, managing to give an individual and unique voice to every important character in the story.

 

STORY

The story bounces around a bit at first and may leave a few readers confused. However, once it settles down with one scenario it develops quite well. My only complaints would be that the pacing feels a bit rushed at times and I think the chapters would benefit from more time spent dealing with certain situations rather than just quickly passing along to the next one. 

 

GRAMMAR

The part of the story that has the most area for improvement. The more egregious mistakes are in the first two chapters and they may turn off a lot of viewers from reading it if they don't stick around past that, so I think they would benefit from being rewritten for more clarity. From chapter 3 onwards, the grammar improves drastically, though some small mistakes can still be found. Using a grammar checker such as Grammarly is very useful for writing since it can pick up the more obvious mistakes you may miss. Another small piece of advice I have would be to use some sort of punctuation when writing characters' thoughts since otherwise, they become a bit hard to read.

 

CHARACTERS

Another spotlight in the novel would be the characters. As of the chapter I'm reading there are multiple POVs, even though the main character proper is Ben. This would bother me in other webnovels, however all the characters here are portrayed very well and each one has their own unique personalities. That coupled with the very well-written dialogue makes me happy to read from their perspectives.