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currently empty, will add to when editing is done

You may ask why I don't update the story here.  Well, it's because my story is part of kindle unlimited, which requires the story be ONLY available electronically on Amazon.  I'm kinda toeing the line here by having the draft version up on RRL, since it's bascially a different 'story'.   That's basically it :p

The final boss will be changed; the backstory will be updated for the king, connections to the empire or 'pre-empire' will increase, connection to the royal family of Duran will be better



1. Backstory slightly adjusted with Mary so as to lay a path for her connection to the empire.

2. Missy's battle has been added

3. Minor details have been fixed like the size of the given crystal, fairy light's capabilities, etc.

4. Miners have a tiny part in the final battle

5. Added epilogue thoughts of Fiora and Jare

6. Templer knight had been changed to temple knight to reduce the association.

7. Large number of small plot holes and errors fixed
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About the author

falcon167

  • Palos
  • Dungeon Lord

Bio: Hi, I'm writer of the Slime Dungeon series and a few others. I like monster evolution, fantasy worlds, video games, and hearing from fans. I hope you enjoy my stories!

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Etez @Etez ago

It's confusing.....

Shiroyuki @Shiroyuki ago

Uhhh.. Perhaps this has been asked so many times, but when are you going to continue the story?

Silverfate @Silverfate ago

Went and bought your book. So take it book 2 isn't available just yet?

Sakka @Sakka ago

21/06/2016 13:29:40Etez Wrote: [ -> ]It's confusing.....


Well it is confusing, giving us a draft where the main connections and event hardly make any sense between the books.
And thinking that this draft is a realy good advertisement for offical book(s) is just madness, especialy if it completely different story then why should I even care to consider to buy it?

PiedPiper1 @PiedPiper1 ago

I'll buy it when the story is finished,cause I don't want to invest into a book and then something happens To you and I can never finish it so I will buy it when it's complete,I'm stingy when it comes to money

Grarg @Grarg ago

You don't need to update the story here in its entirety. what you NEED to do is summarize the main changes you made to the draft story in volume 1 AND volume 2. Volume 2 was incredibly confusing at points because it was written based on changes you never explained to the reader. If this continues in volume 3, I might stop reading.

ShamelessLeech @ShamelessLeech ago

beware the dread power of legalmancy wielding lvl 9 Lawyers

slay_mithos @slay_mithos ago

If I may, I think part of the "problem" mostly comes from two details.

The first one would be that you base book 2 here (and potentially book 3) on the published version rather than what you posted here, making odd plot changes.
While I understand that writing this way lets you have an easier time editing for the amazon version, it does make it seem like you want to force your readers here into buying your published version rather than setting it as a "If you liked it, there is an edited and slightly altered version for sale, please consider supporting me by buying it if you have a few coins to spare".

The second point is that some people are actively giving you money for your work here through patreon (admittedly not a huge amount of money, but still), and even the 6 dollar reward seems to go against what amazon offers and against the very reason you give here about why you don't edit your past chapters here.

All in all, it's fairly small, but those are the main reasons I can see for people to be upset about having to buy a published version just to understand this "draft" version.

If the story was garbage, it would not be a problem for anyone, the fact that it is brought up quite a bit is a sign that people do care about what you are writing.

I have no idea on how amazon's publishing works at all, and it's not unlikely that they'd have rules like this, but I'd say that you might want to consider making this "draft" version into something that can be read from beginning to end here, and advertise that your published version has alterations and refining that makes it even better.
It is how many "web" novels do their transition to printed copies, most of them go for a rewrite of some of the plot, add extra scenes, put a few more details on the characters, and add a few illustrations, justifying the price without sacrificing their "original" web version.
Granted, that's mostly how it works for japanese web novels, but the point remains that it's the base quality of the web version that draws people into buying the printed one for the added value and reworks, and it seems to be working fairly well for them.
Hero of the shield has 3 different stories based on he same premise, one for the web novel, one for the printed novel (being translated to english and sold on amazon too), and one for the manga (possibly the worst version, but still), and while the changes don't completely change how the story unfolds, it does add value to each version without making even the original web version bad.


Granted, it's a lot of work, and it kind of means writing both stories rather than just doing edits on the version from here, but I'm fairly positive that if people didn't feel cheated, your published version might actually sell a few more copies, not to mention you would get a much better reception when announcing your new book being published.

But I'm not in your shoes, and I have a limited income, so all I can do is give you a cheap advice, whether you apply it or not is ultimately up to you, and maybe the sales aren't enough to warrant all that extra work either, I don't have sales figures after all, nor can I assure you with 100% certainty that your sales would sky rocket if you did do just that.

xvan @xvan ago

Bringing another point of view, no hate or indignation from this leech:

I really enjoyed your writing, and the plot so far.

But between the publishing hiatus, and the first and second rewrite of vol2, i was left so confused with the plot that a talking or not talking queen seems irrelevant to me. I'm really too lazy to put together the pices of your story, and hate re reading novels ( so putting up with your rewrites talk about how much I enjoy your story).

I just wanted to bring attention that even of your relese method is not ideal for us, not all your readers feel entitled to anything, nor hate you for what you do.

Even more, you give a lot to us, so thanks for that.