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Chapter 5

 

After a fun afternoon of experimenting, Doc and Claire decided to stop for the day.  They hadn’t discovered any additional slime evolutions, but were pleased with the two new slimes they had found.  Doc settled on placing a few sharp slimes on the grey slime family floors, floors 11 through 15.  His thought there was that once adventurers became more familiar with the new slime, he would then have the sharp slimes appear more often on other floors.

 

The booze slimes presented an odd challenge.  Like the infernal slime (which was found in demon worlds and not the mortal world), ooze slime, and pink slime, the booze slime was a new species of slime that should not normally have come into existence.  It was second tier evolution that evolved from a herb slime.  No one in their right mind would get near a herb slime without killing it, and it was even less likely someone would accidentally, or willingly, feed the slime alcohol.

 

“Actually, that strange old man might have,” Doc acknowledged, “I kind of miss him.”

 

While the booze slime was of the herb slime family, Doc was rather hesitant to add it to the jungle floors.  That is, until he realized how the booze slime attacked prey.

 

The booze slime was one of the more cunning slimes, though it still lacked a true awareness of itself.  When it sensed prey, the booze slime would release a gaseous alcohol to numb them and make the prey weak, much like a herb slime would do with weak paralysis or poison spores.  It was also similar to the poison slime in using its own body to create the mist, except the poison slime required fire to vaporize its poison and couldn’t manage it on its own.  The booze in the air would seep into the body of prey through the skin, nose, and mouth until the prey found itself inebriated, at which point the booze slime would attack.  Doc felt pleased with the slime and added it as a rare spawn to every floor except the boss floors.

 

“Being drunk is actually an altered state of mind,” Claire spoke up as she swung her legs back and forth underneath her outcropping, “any adventurer carrying medicine to fight poison would be able to cure it, so this would weed out any adventurers not thoughtful enough to carry medical supplies.”

 

“That’s interesting,” Doc began, “But I’m more interested in watching adventurers acting drunk.  I feel like a lot of fun things could happen.”

 

Doc suddenly had an idea. “Hey Claire, I’ve envisioned a new trap type.  In some rooms, instead of having slimes, I’ll place small openings in the walls, ceiling, and floors that connect to a space large enough to hold a slime.  These slimes would only be ones that produce something into the air.  For instance: flame slimes and ice slimes to raise and lower the floor’s temperature, poison slimes to drip poison, booze slimes to release alcohol, herb slimes to shed paralysis spores, and flower slimes to make the air smell good.  What do you think?”

 

“That’s a wonderful idea Doc,” Claire replied in amazement, “I’ve never heard of this type of trap before; so it must be your own invention!  We have our first unique accomplishment!”

 

“Good job poppa!” Doc heard The Twins praise him.

 

Anadine also praised him, but Doc had learned to drown out her long ravings over his special qualities. 

 

“Do we celebrate then?”  Doc asked Claire, “now that I think about it, we’ve been partners for almost a year. Wow, time seems to have really flown by.”

 

Claire perked up and dropped off her ledge before flying into the air.

 

“That’s a wonderful idea!” Claire cheered happily, “celebrating the anniversary of the dungeon and the formation of our family; I can’t think of anything better.  I need to find more flowers!”

 

Doc, The Twins, and Anadine watched helplessly as Claire vanished once again into her tunnel.  The four of them seemed to sigh collectively in defeat.

 

Doc could only create things that killed people, and Anadine had no idea how to create beautiful things (though she could make nice looking weapons with her body).  Ayla and Aisha had hands in their alternate form, but they were also more ‘kill everything in sight’ oriented.  In the end only Claire, and perhaps Rowen, had any sense of ‘normal’ aesthetics.

 

When Claire returned later from the forest, she magically carried an entire bundle of new flowers that only held decorative value.  She had Doc propagate them in the heart room along the walls and ceiling in a swirling pattern.

 

“Alright Doc, now summon a booze slime!” Claire demanded happily.

 

“Okay, but why?” Doc asked curiously.

 

“So we can drink it!” Claire responded.

 

Doc did as she commanded and created a booze slime.  Claire levitated it up to her pedestal and drew her rapier.  She punctured the slime, releasing a sweet smelling drink from its body.

 

“Everyone drink up!” Claire said as she caught some of the stream in her personal cup.  Anadine and The Twins alternated taking sips from the waterfall of booze.

 

“This tastes a little funny mommy,” The Twins commented to Claire.

 

“It’s an adult taste,” Claire informed them as she made a face while drinking hers, “Mommy always had wine to drink and never let me have any.  I’ve lived with Doc for a year, so I’m now responsible and mature just like her!  Let’s drink up together!”

 

“My lord,” Anadine quietly contacted Doc, “it appears that this substance holds a high percentage of poison.  Should I eliminate the source?”

 

“Um, not now,” Doc told her, “Claire seems to be enjoying this, and she’s been on edge lately with what we’ve heard from the adventurers and her stabilizing memory.  Uh, could she die from this?”

 

“Unlikely,” Anadine said after a moment’s thought, “from my lessons with Mistress Claire, I’ve learned that all fey races and their descendants have a strong resistance to most kinds of poison.  The amount capable of killing a human is far below that of a pixie like her, I think.  That being said, she is rather small isn’t she?”

 

“Well, I guess she knows her body better than I do, so maybe it is fine.  Why don’t you try enjoying it yourself?” Doc asked her.

 

“It would be rude for me to partake while you cannot my lord,” Anadine said as she watched Claire teach Ayla and Aisha how to drink the alcohol.  The two eventually gave up trying to use their human hands and opted to open their worg mouths and let the booze fall into them, much to the mirth of Claire.

 

“Go ahead Anadine,” Doc insisted her; “my pleasure is your pleasure.  After all, we share emotions through our bond.”

 

Anadine lit up at the reminder, “Of course my lord.  I shall endeavor to make you as happy as possible!”

 

“No I didn’t mean . . .” Doc said helplessly as Anadine plunged under the stream and began to absorb the alcohol not swallowed by Claire or The Twins.  The three girls cheered her on, slightly tipsy.  Soon enough, Anadine’s normal blue color was replaced with a light brown color.  She appeared unable to hold her humanoid form and kept collapsing into herself, much to the amusement of the girls who were quickly becoming redder in the face.

 

“Um, are your girls all right?” Doc asked curiously.

 

Claire giggled and blew her tongue out at Doc, “Sa-silly Doc.  I’ma having a great time.  Hey, you schee, I’m a adult now, and I can do what I want.”

 

Doc watched Ayla and Aisha roll around the floor, giggling at Claire.  Anadine had given up her normal form in favor of copying the booze slime, releasing her own stream of liquid slime.

 

“Anadine, you aren’t made of booze!” Doc cried out in warning.

 

He was too late as The Twins began drinking up her stream.  Doc watched helplessly as the two began to convulse violently as the acidic slime ravaged their bodies from within.  The two of them soon collapsed and died, turning back into their spirit forms to wait for their respawn.  Not unexpectedly, the two were snoring away as spirits.

 

Claire laughed and tossed her cup upward, splattering booze everywhere.

 

“See, I told you, I told you they couldn’t do it,” Claire slurred, “they, they couldn’t hold thare liquer cause they wasn’t adults yet.  I’m a adult you know Doc?  I’m a adult Just, Like, You!”

 

“Maybe you should go lie down,” Doc advised Claire, “I don’t think this is a good idea anymore.  I’m not even hearing you good through our bond.  You sound all, funny.”

 

“No, I’m not drunk Doc, I’m not drunk at all,” Claire protested, “See, let’s ask Ana.  Ana, am I drunk?”

 

“@$!% jiggle % !## wiggle @  #$#[email protected]” Anadine responded, clearly unable to form a single understandable word.  She then punctuated her babbling remarks by falling onto the floor and splattering.  After a moment of struggling to put herself back together, she gave up and also died.

 

“Huh, that’s her first death,” Doc observed, “well this is really not going well Claire.  Two of my bosses just died of drinking.  What am I supposed to do if we are attacked?”

 

“No worries, no worries Docky,” Claire waved her cup at his crystal, “I have a plan see.  See, we take your trapper idea and fill’er up with booze slimes.  That way they all die too.  See, so simple!”

 

Before Doc could respond to her, he felt something zoom into his dungeon.  Before he could react, the intruder had bypassed every floor and entered the heart-room.  The thing, a rectangular piece of material, came to rest in front of Claire.  It floated at her eye level, waiting.

 

“Whats this thing,” Claire asked with slurred speech, “It’s a letter Doc, see here?  A letter, just for me.  I wasn’t expecting a letter, but here it is.  What if I didn’t want a letter?  Now I have it, so I guess it’s mine.”

 

“A ‘letter’ . . . you mean written words that travel to others over long distances.  Who’s it from?” Doc asked curiously.

 

Claire squinted as she grabbed the item in question and tried to read it.

 

“I give up Doc.  You see, there are so many words and so little time, you know?  I mean, we’ve been together a year and we’ve had to face demons, and dungeons, and adventurers, and zombies.  How much more is there, right?  And the zombies Doc, I hate zombies.  They always smell, like so bad and everything,” Claire garbled away as she removed the letter and threw away the envelope.

 

“Oh, I know this letter.  It’s a invitation, yeah I know this.  All I gotto do is sign here and . . .” Claire signed the letter with her finger and it disappeared in a flash of light.  Claire cheered and threw her hands up.

 

“Yippe!  Oh, I fell back,” Claire said as she landed on her back from the force, “Oh, this stone feels so nice. . .”

 

Doc watched helplessly as Claire began to lightly snore.

 

“Um . . . happy anniversary?”

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About the author

falcon167

  • Palos
  • Dungeon Lord

Bio: Hi, I'm writer of the Slime Dungeon series and a few others. I like monster evolution, fantasy worlds, video games, and hearing from fans. I hope you enjoy my stories!

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gman
Premium

gman @gman ago

LOLZ, SO MUCH LOLZ!!!

tormanen @tormanen ago

yaaay party get drunk and forget it all happened. 

CreatureDuke @CreatureDuke ago

This was funny but I if that letter signed them into some BS I'm gonna be little pissed

Thanks for the chapter

KaytheGreat @KaytheGreat ago

Happy birthday 

eager to see how screwed they are for signing that letter

    Dragrath @Dragrath ago

    This so much one should never sign without reading Doc don't let the drunk fairy sign things while inebriated Surprised

    If it is anything like the last variation it will be very bad especially when they have to worry about an incoming Demon invasion by the Empire...

Thecrabmaster @Thecrabmaster ago

I'm going to bet that Clair will be the only one to have a serous headache. If she was and realized that the rest of the group didn't have much of a hangover at all it would be funny if she got mad at them. Imo

Tason @Tason ago

Happy birthday.

 

Don't think I liked the message arriving just as she's clearly undable to do jack but likely screw herself.

mjkj
Premium

mjkj @mjkj ago

Thank you for the chapter :)

...and yeah, too much alcohol... Tongue

...and next you know - they get a washing machine delivered by special order via that letter Tongue Wink


PS: Happy belated birthday  :)