When VR Gaming Hurts

by Elorion

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Sci-fi LitRPG Martial Arts Supernatural Virtual Reality

Thsi is the Rough Draft of Codename: Freedom

 

Read the Rewrite here: http://royalroadl.com/fiction/10153

 

Keep up with the Author:

apollos-throne.com

facebook.com/official.apollos.thorne

 

What happens when a VR world is created that will directly effect the real world? When the opportunity to join a government sponsored experiment in a virtual world that promised 100% immersion, Lucius didn't hesitate to apply. Unbeknownst to him the reason for the experiment that was offered to the public was only part of the story. To study human nature they say. Earth is on the brink of war, so why are they spending so much on what seems to be an extremely advanced game?

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Author
Elorion

Elorion

Level Up or Die!

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Beginning with a Blast - Chapter 1 ago
Miracle or Disaster? - Chapter 2 ago
Introduced to the Pain of Death - Chapter 3 ago
Game or Not? - Chapter 4 ago
Calm Before the Storm - Chapter 5 ago
First Wave - Chapter 6 ago
Heroic Suffering - Chapter 7 ago
Morning Has Finally Come - Chapter 8 ago
VRJ? Back in the Game - Chapter 9 ago
Preparation, Courage, and a Rose - Chapter 10 ago
Panic Ridden Discovery - Chapter 11 ago
Severing Loose Ends - Chapter 12 ago
Desperate and Determined - Chapter 13 ago
Decisions Decisions - Chapter 14 ago
Got to Train... One Way or Another - Chapter 15 ago
Internal Revelations - Chapter 16 ago
Suspect Analysis - Chapter 17 ago
Target Aquired - Chapter 18 ago
Moving Forward - Chapter 19 ago
Government Revelations - Chapter 20 ago
Poll - Title? Not a chapter - Updated 1/22 ago
Level 20 - Chapter 21 ago
The Meaning of Freedom - Chapter 22 ago
Progress - Chapter 23 ago
Achilles! I Demand You Answer Me! Or Not - Chapter 24 ago
Answers - Chapter 25 ago
Secret Training? - Chapter 26 ago
Uninvited Guest - Chapter 27 ago
New Hunting Spot - Chapter 28 ago
Life Would Never be the Same - Chapter 29 ago
Unexpected Progress - Chapter 30 ago
Facing a Legend - Chapter 31 ago
One Mental Block Annihilated - Chapter 32 ago
Sparring Day 2 - Chapter 33 ago
Welcome to Patria Amicitia - Chapter 34 ago
What Kline Has Been Up To - Chapter 35 ago
Bandits for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner - Chapter 36 ago
MC in Tights - Chapter 37 ago
Silenced - Chapter 38 ago
Escape - Chapter 39 - Plus Poll! ago
Wonder Filled - Chapter 40 ago
A Little Push - Chapter 41 ago
Rare Made Common - Chapter 42 ago
Psionic Fallout - Chapter 43 ago
Barrell of Laughs - Chapter 44 + Poll! ago
Kissed by the Enemy - Chapter 45 ago
Preparation Complete - Chapter 46 + Poll ago
Show Us What You Are Made Of - Chapter 47 ago
The Siege Begins - Chapter 48 ago
To Poke an Ogre - Chapter 49 + Poll ago
Realities of War - Chapter 50 + Poll ago
Death From Above - Chapter 51 + Poll ago
Spewing Forward - Chapter 52 + Poll ago
Sounds of War - Chapter 53 + Poll ago
Unacceptable Abominations - Chapter 54 ago
Golgoth - Chapter 55 ago
Impossible Odds - Chapter 56 ago
Player vs Player? - Chapter 57 ago
Man's Greatest Enemy - Chapter 58 ago
Some Freedom with the News - Chapter 59 ago
Friends and Enemies - Chapter 60 ago
Approaching a King - Chapter 61 ago
Monster VS Monster - Chapter 62 ago
Mental Preperation - Chapter 63 ago
Unleashed - Chapter 64 ago
Offical Business - Chapter 65 ago
Hiatus ~ Sort of ~ I Need Your Help! - Poll ago
Update! The Future of Codename: Freedom! ago
Codename: Freedom is Published! ago
Reviews

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JustSaiyan
  • Overall Score
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Much Anticipation - Updated

Updates after **Update**

 

Style – well written without any annoying aspects. Leaves out allot of things that commonly annoy with first person. Sets a good foundation for the story.

 

**Updated** The style is at a much higher quality than most on RRL. Love the action scenes.

 

Story – it’s still early but a great work in progress. I appreciate the anticipation of things to come. Deserves a much higher rating.

 

**Update** falling in love with the story. It’s moving along, though still early, but this is my favorite work in progress currently on RRL.

 

Awesome!

 

Grammar – the author notes that it is only his 2-3rd draft. He doesn’t want it to distract the reader. This is accomplished. Still has work to do but only a few issues here and there.

 

**Updated** I under estimated how good the grammar is. Still some typos, but even those are appearing less in later chapters.

 

Character – even though the MC frustrates me at some points, I actual don’t mind because I think I see where the author is going. He’s a bit of a mess with all the chaos, but shows signs of raising above it all. Really look forward to what he becomes in the future.

 

**Update** the advancement of the MC and secondary characters is done really well. I’m not sure I like Victoria as a person, she’s now more of a mystery than ever, but I like her character if that makes senses. Some one else said it. The way it’s written let’s you know what the MC is thinking and feeling really well.

 

Awesome set of non clique characters!

 

Overall this is not a normal RRL fiction and we’ll worth the read. The moment you expect something you find out things aren’t that simple. Love the world building as well.

 

Constantly cheering for the MC and friends. They aren't overpowered, but still amazing!

The Bus Lurker
  • Overall Score

Bookmarked under "Iffy Lightnovels" has since been changed to "favorites"

Pretty fucking cool. The author's description on muscle growth and potential "super humans" with unlimited muscle tearing and reforming is magnificent! As of now I've read 25 chapters, and honestly there isn't really much in the way of BIG action. That's okay because the story so far does an excellent job on setup. The foreshadowing and suspense go hand in hand with a build up in power. I cannot wait for when the Mc  is in a position to use his tactfulness/leadership? in a meaningful way.

 

I'll briefly touch on characters. As mentioned by another, the female connection does seem bland and cliche. Can't give any meaningful advice about that, but it's a thing. The way the Mc interacts with other's is great, we understand him better with his dream segments, although I wouldn't want to see this overdone, or strictly in the realm of nightmares. The way he interacts with a fellow disciple, getting him comfortable with his own limits and accepting that he can do more was inspiring.

 

I would describe the story (thusfar) as an experiment. You're the child that was offered a cookie now, or a large variety box of cookies in 7 days. With this story, you're getting a large variety box of cookies in 7 days.

 

Call me a fan. 

Replica1
  • Overall Score

An Up and Coming Adventure

There is definitely a sense of excitement that comes when reading this! So far the story is well written with very few spelling or punctuation errors which unless you are actively looking for can go completely unnoticed. Characters have a depth to them and are far from stereo typical archetypes found in manga or what not. The Main character is likable and is showing us a strength that comes through overcoming our fears without being overpowered. I am looking forward to following this and cant wait to see what happens next. 

chazzi
  • Overall Score

Great Story So far!

Read up to Chapter 64;

 

Definitely worth a read, I RECOMMEND IT!!!!

 

Jaypallas
  • Overall Score

Likes: I love training montages and thats a central point on the story so far (chapter 54). The action scenes are well done and I like the character interaction between the males.

 

Dislikes: My biggest issue with this story is the depiction of woman. Their are no anonymous women and the women who are named have the single purpose that the mc or his friends can romance them or despair about them. It would help if the author included them a bit more in the battles. He describes the actions of the other (ananomys) players well and it would help if he would mention a random woman ramming a spear in same goblin. ( No woman are mentioned in fights of other groups or guilds, but one who did nothing but crying while her boyfriend was slaughtered.)

 

I'm a woman and a gamer and was in some really good guilds (participated in a server first as second tank) and those guilds had strong female players (in all positions). Maybe in PVP the woman presence is not as strong, but in PVE some of the best players I happend to come across where female.

So I think the description of females in this game is unrealistic.

Yes, in RL men are stronger and faster on average than woman, but there are women who can compete with them. Just look at American Ninja Warrior.

Artmiser
  • Overall Score

Good job and break a leg

lookong forward to the ebook version, in the final version try and keep the events in a single chapter. The goblin city fight should have been at most three chapters.

Preacha
  • Overall Score

Really enjoyed reading the book and will buy when it comes lot on Amazon. I would like to see more stat screens however and noticed the absence later on in the series.

 

Please bring back more stats mr author!

Aldyrin
  • Overall Score
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Great Story, Lots of Development. Looking forward to more.

I'm really enjoying this story.   

It feels like things are building up to make this a great one. 

The grammar is very good (worlds above many stories on this site).  

The writing really communicates the emotional aspect of the MC, and I look forward to more. 

 

G_B
  • Overall Score

Review at Ch. 55: Overall, this novel is very well done. The author has taken the LitRPG / VR genre and added a twist. This twist really does well in explaining why certain types of players are playing the game, the hidden plot behind it all, and more.  Another great feature is the gaming system itself. Killing monsters and doing quests is important for levels, but it isn't the main thing. "Leveling" or at least stats, are granted in a very unique way, and in a way that I 100% love, which is based on merit and hard-work. Even more interesting, is the "skills" / mana system (the red glow) in the game.  Overall, this game offers a currently popular genre, with a very well done twist that flows so easily and well with the story. I love it.

 

Characters: Definitely a character and growth driven novel, this book focuses on our MC Lucious, who is not quiet the same as everyone else in the game. The author does a great job of not doing the nromal LitRPG / VR cliches (abandoned by people, picked on, made a powerful enemy day 1, has an OP skill  or has insane luck). Besides the MC, the author does well in giving other characters opportunity for growth and for allowing us to see who they are, their purpose, what drives them, etc. 

 

Grammar: Nothing wrong with what I can find. Punctuation, spelling, and spacing in all well done.

 

The System Itself: Unlike other VR games, this one is based on merit and effort. Instead of stats, the more you push your body, the more it grows. Just like in buiding muscle, you lift a heavy enough weight enough times and you make mini tears in the muscle. Rest and nutriets patches up those tears, and even add more muscle. The stats work in the same way. Work had by pushing your body, and it will grow. The players in this game though are given something that improves this ability more than 3 times normal, thus giving them the opportunity to become actual superheros, as what happens in the game, happens to their bodies in RL. Beyond stats, the game is honestly very well built in the detail, and in how it all connects togethor with the rest of the plot and the hidden plot.

 

Favorite part of the novel?: I feel in love with this knowledge when I found that being lucky or dealing a killing blow doesn't mean much. But putting in effort to improve does. The 2nd part in which I feel in love with the novel however, is in meeting with "Achilles'. Love the character and the lessons he gives to the students who are learning from him.  

 

To the Author: Thank yuou for writing this unique VR / LitRPG novel, and I will be looking forward to reading any upcoming chapters that you will be releasing!

 

SpartanLoki
  • Overall Score

Deserves A Lot more Attention

If you want to see someone go from a regular person to someone powerful with actual hard work and problems then this the story for you. For me this story is what I have been looking for for a while on RoyalRoad, a story where the MC actually grew and didn't get handed some cheat or glitch. I'm terrible at writing reviews but more people should check this story out. The action is top notch, you won't see any *Swish* or *Bam*, you'll get actual description that places you in the just the right spot for awesomeness to appear. Highly recommended for people who have been looking for a story that doesn't have a harem or an overpowered MC.

 

Elorion I hope to see much more of this story in the future and I sincerely thank you for writing it!