In Harry Potter with OTS System

In Harry Potter with OTS System

by Dvelasquez

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content
What would happen to a guy that died out of rage while in a Guild War?

What would the choice of some bored dimensional being who catches his soul in the middle of his way to the afterlife?

What would happen when the guy's addiction mixes with the Wizarding World of Harry Potter!? What chaos would that bring to the world!?
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Well, this was an idea I had like a week ago, and wanted to try it out on my journey to learn how to write. So, here it is. It's another fanfic, yes. Because it's easier to write.

Also, with this one, I'll probably post only during the weekends, not daily like with the Novel's Extra's Extra. Firstly because I want to finish the other one, and also because I need to research a lot more (I'm not that knowledgeable in Harry Potter.)

As usual, any feedback and criticism will be well received, and thanks for reading!

Will be posting this in Scribble Hub and Webnovel too.

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  • Grammar Score
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Author
Dvelasquez

Dvelasquez

Achievements
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Table of Contents
63 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
What's an OTS and what's Tibia? Find it here! ago
PROLOGUE ago
CHAPTER 1 – I died!? What!? My Guild!! ago
CHAPTER 2 – Looking through my new system ago
CHAPTER 3 – Finally, real spells! ago
CHAPTER 4 – My first magic book ago
CHAPTER 5 – Time Skip (Part 1) ago
CHAPTER 6 – Time Skip (Part 2) ago
CHAPTER 7 – Time Skip (Part 3) ago
CHAPTER 8 – Picking my wand ago
CHAPTER 9 – Platform 9¾ ago
CHAPTER 10 – Finally, Hogwarts! ago
CHAPTER 11 – Sorting Ceremony ago
CHAPTER 12 – Room of Requirements ago
CHAPTER 13 – Grinding my ML like crazy (Part 1) ago
CHAPTER 14 – Grinding my ML like crazy (Part 2) ago
CHAPTER 15 – Grinding my ML like crazy (Part 3) ago
CHAPTER 16 – Transfiguration classes and some strange situation ago
CHAPTER 17 – Charms and Flying classes ago
CHAPTER 18 – Second Stage Core ago
CHAPTER 19 – Curses in Hogwarts ago
CHAPTER 20 – Another petrified student ago
CHAPTER 21 – A decision is made ago
CHAPTER 22 – Too much of a Gryffindor? Or maybe just an idiot? ago
CHAPTER 23 – Trip to the Forbidden Forest goes… ago
CHAPTER 24 – Fuck you, Murphy ago
CHAPTER 25 – The weigh of the first time ago
CHAPTER 26 – The meaning of power ago
CHAPTER 27 – Lost things ago
CHAPTER 28 – Thank you! Walker! ago
CHAPTER 29 – Adapting to my new vocation ago
CHAPTER 30 – Summoner vocation and another petrification ago
CHAPTER 31 – Forbidden Forest, again ago
CHAPTER 32 – Is it my luck? Or is it just that this forest is goddamn cursed? ago
CHAPTER 33 – What to do now? ago
CHAPTER 34 – Separate ways ago
CHAPTER 35 – Recruitment? ago
CHAPTER 36 – The Chamber of Secrets ago
CHAPTER 37 – First original attack spell ago
CHAPTER 38 – Points, points everywhere ago
CHAPTER 39 – Start of the training ago
CHAPTER 40 - The exchange student ago
CHAPTER 41 - Corporeal Patronus ago
CHAPTER 42 - Bill Weasley and the Forbidden Forest, again ago
CHAPTER 43 - Black Lake ago
CHAPTER 44 - Dueling the Merqueen ago
CHAPTER 45 - The Sunken Vault ago
CHAPTER 46 - Everything’s back to normal ago
CHAPTER 47 – End of the Cursed Vaults ago
CHAPTER 48 – Shopping Spree! ago
CHAPTER 49 – Before everything started (Part 1) ago
CHAPTER 50 - Before everything started (Part 2) ago
CHAPTER 51 - Before everything started (Part 3) ago
CHAPTER 52 - Before everything started (Part 4) ago
CHAPTER 53 - Before everything started (Part 5) ago
CHAPTER 54 - Before everything started (Part 6) ago
CHAPTER 54.5 – There can’t be a year without surprises in Hogwarts ago
CHAPTER 55 – It’s starting ago
CHAPTER 56 – Meeting the Golden Trio ago
CHAPTER 57 – Hogwarts once again ago
CHAPTER 58 - Am I Harry Potter? ago
CHAPTER 59 - Runes, oh so sweet runes. ago
CHAPTER 60 - Point-Troll in the dungeons!? ago

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pewpewcachoo
Overall

Honestly I wanted to like this a lot because I enjoy fan fic's and I enjoy Harry Potter. But I just wasn't enjoying the OST system itself. The MC doesn't help, but I could let that go if the the OST system wasn't in the story. The writing itself is okay, the grammar needs work. The story is okay. Read it if you like Harry Potter fan fic's and OST.

Osborn
Overall

Honestly, the story is really bad. Not two ways to look at it. The mc is so dumb that it annoys the hell out of the reader with all the useless and nonsensical actions he takes.

He reveals some of his secrets simply because Dumbledore insisted on knowing. That is how pathetic he is. The only reason the situation didn't become much worse is simply plot armor.

He knows the original story but "forgets" many things like the mauraders map, or Pettigrew, or how manipulative is Dumbledore, etc.

The way he uses his points is simply ridiculous. There is no logic behind it. He just wastes the points away. Simply terrible.

And as for the plot of the story, it simply does not exist. There is no plot whatsoever. The mc only trains, and trains, and trains some more, with a few useless conversations with other people in the middle. Harry Potter doesn't even appear in the story because this one takes place 3 years before Harry arrives at Hogwarts.

So all in all, reading this story is a waste of my time.

Ap0c4L1PS1S
Overall

The story till now is interesting and the grammar is good.

The system seems interesting and the mc is relatable.

If this novel keeps this quality I think a lot of people will like it.

So if you read this review give this novel a try.

Good look with the story :)

 

chazzi
Overall

A harry potter fanfic, MC has some "out of context" abilities, could be described as an "author world" with some of the changes or new things author has introduced into the HP story.

It seems english might not be the authors first language as evident by the occasionally mis-used words.

Its an ok harry potter fanfiction, there are defintely better quality fanfictions out there but still a decent read if that sort of things interests you.

konrad
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A very nice Harry Potter fan fiction

Reviewed at: CHAPTER 26 – The meaning of power

Overall score 5/5

I just like it, bite me bro I have nothing else to say it's just a really nice read. I see no point in writing more than that but unfortunately an advanced review needs to have at the very least 200 words so I guess I'll just keep writing here some random stuff a bit like what I am doing right now just for the sake of buffing up my word count a bit like xianxia authors do for whatever reason.

Style score 5/5

Easy to read, the paragraphs are not overtly long, easy on the eyes. It's perfect for the kind of read it is

Story score 5/5

It's Harry Potter, that's nuff said, even so the author has the clear intention of giving the story his own twists and foes and stuff. Nice.

Grammar score 4.5/5

I think I've seen 1 grammar error which was more like a very slight lexical error, will prolly eventually change the score to 5/5 

Character score 5/5

Truth be told the secondary characters are a bit well... secondary they kinda stay in the background but that's alright also as of the day I'm writing the review we haven't even been introduced to the big 3 so eeeh... I think it's fine.

 

 

Free Food
Overall

The title of the story is very straightforward and tells exactly what you will get when you read the story. Some readers will like it and those that don't will very soon know.

Story includes:

Random Omnipotent Being, OP MC, MC with system, child MC, childish sentient System, cold blooded murder

It's an OK story.

Cuchillo
Overall

Great power system, no fear of messing up the "original" timeline. All around wonderful novel. I sincerely hope that this novel continues far into the future. Can't wait to see how the main character will interact with Harry once he attends hogwarts. The system with its snarky personality and abundant quests and spells means the story never feels stale and that there is always some kind of progress.