In Harry Potter with OTS System
by Dvelasquez
- Gore
- Profanity
- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
What would the choice of some bored dimensional being who catches his soul in the middle of his way to the afterlife?
What would happen when the guy's addiction mixes with the Wizarding World of Harry Potter!? What chaos would that bring to the world!?
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Well, this was an idea I had like a week ago, and wanted to try it out on my journey to learn how to write. So, here it is. It's another fanfic, yes. Because it's easier to write.
Also, with this one, I'll probably post only during the weekends, not daily like with the Novel's Extra's Extra. Firstly because I want to finish the other one, and also because I need to research a lot more (I'm not that knowledgeable in Harry Potter.)
As usual, any feedback and criticism will be well received, and thanks for reading!
Will be posting this in Scribble Hub and Webnovel too.
- Overall Score
- Style Score
- Story Score
- Grammar Score
- Character Score
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Not great. But not terrible.
Reviewed at: CHAPTER 31 – Forbidden Forest, again
Honestly I wanted to like this a lot because I enjoy fan fic's and I enjoy Harry Potter. But I just wasn't enjoying the OST system itself. The MC doesn't help, but I could let that go if the the OST system wasn't in the story. The writing itself is okay, the grammar needs work. The story is okay. Read it if you like Harry Potter fan fic's and OST.
Useless mc with no plot
Reviewed at: CHAPTER 6 – Time Skip (Part 2)
Honestly, the story is really bad. Not two ways to look at it. The mc is so dumb that it annoys the hell out of the reader with all the useless and nonsensical actions he takes.
He reveals some of his secrets simply because Dumbledore insisted on knowing. That is how pathetic he is. The only reason the situation didn't become much worse is simply plot armor.
He knows the original story but "forgets" many things like the mauraders map, or Pettigrew, or how manipulative is Dumbledore, etc.
The way he uses his points is simply ridiculous. There is no logic behind it. He just wastes the points away. Simply terrible.
And as for the plot of the story, it simply does not exist. There is no plot whatsoever. The mc only trains, and trains, and trains some more, with a few useless conversations with other people in the middle. Harry Potter doesn't even appear in the story because this one takes place 3 years before Harry arrives at Hogwarts.
So all in all, reading this story is a waste of my time.
Interesting HP Fanfic
Reviewed at: CHAPTER 2 – Looking through my new system
The story till now is interesting and the grammar is good.
The system seems interesting and the mc is relatable.
If this novel keeps this quality I think a lot of people will like it.
So if you read this review give this novel a try.
Good look with the story :)
A decent harry potter fanfic
Reviewed at: CHAPTER 34 – Separate ways
A harry potter fanfic, MC has some "out of context" abilities, could be described as an "author world" with some of the changes or new things author has introduced into the HP story.
It seems english might not be the authors first language as evident by the occasionally mis-used words.
Its an ok harry potter fanfiction, there are defintely better quality fanfictions out there but still a decent read if that sort of things interests you.
A very nice Harry Potter fan fiction
Reviewed at: CHAPTER 26 – The meaning of power
Overall score 5/5
I just like it, bite me bro I have nothing else to say it's just a really nice read. I see no point in writing more than that but unfortunately an advanced review needs to have at the very least 200 words so I guess I'll just keep writing here some random stuff a bit like what I am doing right now just for the sake of buffing up my word count a bit like xianxia authors do for whatever reason.
Style score 5/5
Easy to read, the paragraphs are not overtly long, easy on the eyes. It's perfect for the kind of read it is
Story score 5/5
It's Harry Potter, that's nuff said, even so the author has the clear intention of giving the story his own twists and foes and stuff. Nice.
Grammar score 4.5/5
I think I've seen 1 grammar error which was more like a very slight lexical error, will prolly eventually change the score to 5/5
Character score 5/5
Truth be told the secondary characters are a bit well... secondary they kinda stay in the background but that's alright also as of the day I'm writing the review we haven't even been introduced to the big 3 so eeeh... I think it's fine.
Just read the title
Reviewed at: CHAPTER 25 – The weigh of the first time
The title of the story is very straightforward and tells exactly what you will get when you read the story. Some readers will like it and those that don't will very soon know.
Story includes:
Random Omnipotent Being, OP MC, MC with system, child MC, childish sentient System, cold blooded murder
It's an OK story.
Great novel, can't wait for more
Reviewed at: CHAPTER 47 – End of the Cursed Vaults
Great power system, no fear of messing up the "original" timeline. All around wonderful novel. I sincerely hope that this novel continues far into the future. Can't wait to see how the main character will interact with Harry once he attends hogwarts. The system with its snarky personality and abundant quests and spells means the story never feels stale and that there is always some kind of progress.