The Blessed Child

The Blessed Child

by UnfortunateMind

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

The Ravine. A wide gap which tore through the plains of Maur several thousand years ago and has acted as a boundary between the countries of Solar and Tyne. It has been a place of mystery, fear, and to many- a place of potential treasure. Many adventurers have braved its walls and climbed into the maw in hopes of finding glorious rewards, only to never be heard from again.

A young boy, the son of a nobody adventurer, decides that the stories aren't quite enough and wishes to see them for himself. Carrying nothing but a small light and his imagination, he descends into the black. But what will he find beneath the surface? Will there be beautiful flowing waters and lush greenery? Crystals worth thousands? Or will it all just be a hoax, a lie, and will he find nothing but stone and darkness.

Disclaimer: Not a Necromancy Story.
New Chapters/Updates posted Saturdays and Sundays.

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  • Total Views :
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  • Average Views :
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  • Followers :
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  • Ratings :
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  • Pages :
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Author
UnfortunateMind

UnfortunateMind

Mr. Saber

Achievements
25,000 Views
Word Count (13)
100 Followers
20 Comments
Royal Writathon October 2021 winner
1st Anniversary
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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
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TheJammiest2
Overall

Deserves WAY more attention

Reviewed at: 24: Graduation

I'm not the greatest reviewer and its also 3 am as im writing this, so don't get your hopes up. 

This story has been a joy to read, in every sense of the word. Jake's development as a character has been super rewarding so far, even so early into the story. The chapters are nice and long, but don't feel like a drag. But most importantly the fight scenes! Magnifique! This story genuinely needs more attention.

Please keep writing Mr UnfortunateMind, I'd hate to see this gem disappear.

Chilling_Monk
Overall

Its general quality is without a doubt a cut or even two above the usual RR works. 

The only criticism i can offer would be that 

-some of the timeline of events seems really rushed

-Mc has this teally weird dichotomy of beimg very young and at the same time having recieved a blessing of wisdom, and then he goes and does reeeally dumb shit every couple chaps.  Only recently did we learn how old he is exactly, 8, and he basically just finished a a serious warrior bootcamp. Which just seems ridiculous, he can even wipe the floor with most regular adults even without magic...

 

intriguing worldbuilding and decent characters got me thirsting for more though. 

but yeah it all seems overblown for how much of a child he in all honesty still is. 


 

a definite recommendation though