Disciples of the Demon king

Disciples of the Demon king

by Duckwrites

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

"If you want to kill me, you're going to have to learn from me."

The Demon King needs to die.

He must be slain or else he will bring an end to the world.

Armies have tried. Monsters have tried. All have failed.

Until he finally offers the world one last chance with one single request, 
"Let me make my own murderers."

Five young adventurers find themselves entangled within the fate of the world when they are given the impossible quest of killing the Demon King. 
Their only advantage, the Demon King is going to teach them how. Will they suffer the same fate as others, or will the demon's unorthodox tutelage be just what they need to succeed? They have five years to give the impossible a go.

Their time starts... now.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
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Author
Duckwrites

Duckwrites

Just a duck.

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Publius Decius Mus
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Interesting idea, rough around the edges

Reviewed at: Chapter 9.3

I cannot say that I am exceptionally well-versed in the isekai genre, but I think I have at least an average grasp of it. With that background I can honestly say that I have not seen this idea anywhere before, where the Demon King is contracted to train the heroes who will be his demise later on.

Style:

It's... quirky. I am going to go ahead and assume that KonoSuba was a major influence on this book. There are flashes of brilliance where this book comes close to the comedic brilliance that is KonoSuba, but generally that level is still a long way off. It's quite decent though.

Story:

Quirky, full of anime-tropes and their subversion, both of which are good things in a comedy like this one. I think some more storyboarding would be needed, because sometimes I had the feeling that the author is making up things as we go. Which of course is a valid way of doing things in the serial format, but I still think that this particular author could improve on the plot with more careful planning.

Grammar:

I am not really one to talk but this part was horrible. Really, my manuscripts are hard on the eyes and brains of readers, but this was even a magnitude worse than that. Was is the keyword, thankfully the author started to clean up the mess. It's not quite there yet, but I think we can expect substantial improvement over time.

Character:

Funny anime-like characters built from tropes and jokes. I think it goes well with the genre.

Overall I won't say this a rough diamond, but with some polishing it will be a quite decent comedy.

Jeanean
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A very good start with a lot of future potential!

Reviewed at: Chapter 8

A very good and funny story that's definitely a worthwhile read. While the story still is in a bit of a prologue state, it shows a lot of future potential.

 

Style 5/5

Nothing to say about that. It's nothing super special, but there is nothing to complain about either. As they say, simple is best.

Grammar 4.5/5

The occasional spelling mistake, but nothing that you can't just overread.

Story 5/5

The story has a very interesting premise that has a lot of potential, and there are a lot of hints at a deeper reaching plot. Though right now the decision why he/she trains them is seems to be a case of 'just because', there might be more to it.

Characters 4/5

Should be 5/5, but there is simply to little material to evaluate anything but their suface character. Sure, they all have their unique roles in the party dynamic, but the author just didn't have the time to dig deeper into their minds.

 

And And And And And And And And And And

And And And And And And And And And And

And And And And And And And And And And

And And And And And And And And And And

And And And And And And And And And And

Akata
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

You'll enjoy it if you don't take it seriously

Reviewed at: Chapter 5

Oversall Score 5/5

This sort of story is silly, and it is a breath of fresh air from all the serious books I've read that unintentionally sound silly. So many stories I've read where I'm supposed to take the hero serious...but he's so serious I can't take him seriously.

The heroes don't take themselves seriously, they're vain and inept. The villain knows this and doesn't care, and simply seems bored.

I love it.

In an actual fantasy setting with an all powerful Demon Lord you'd have to be strong... it would be impossible to beat him unless he let you. That's the premise of the book, and so far I'm loving it.

Reccomended to those who want something silly to read.

Style Score 5/5

The writer seems to have a voice when they write, and it stays consistent throughout the five chapters I have read so far. It seems with most stories I've found on here most are struggling to have a coherent "voice", but this one doesn't. Good job.

Grammar Score 5/5

Other than a few grammatical errors, I didn't have trouble with this story. It was quite nice, because I've had many wonderful stories ruined by bad formatting and bad grammar.

Story Score 5/5

I've read up to Chapter Five, so I can only speak for that far, but I like how the story is going. I don't need an exposition, its quite obvious from the characters reactions, thoughts, and setting that they are in a Fantasy world. I'm tired of reading stories where things are explained to me. Instead the author only explains a few things and lets the rest happen organically as it should. Thank you for not turning your story into a textbook on the rules of an RPG Fantasy.

Character Score 5/5

All the characters have different personalities, but not so different that you can't imagine them not being around each other. It's obvious the reason they stay together is because they're compltety vain and useless. Even they themselves are aware of it, and trudge through hoping to find enough money to pay the rent. This is great chemistry because they're absolute trainwrecks. Why would I want to read a story about people who all get along and never disagree?

I like to see characters that sometimes disagree and get along, ones that argue consistently, those who don't care for the other, etc. 

My only request is that the author go over for grammatical and spelling errors, and change some of the references to ones that are less jarring. It's funny with the Spongebob reference in there, but it pulls me out of the whole fantasy setting with useless heroes that are idiots shctick. 

I'm following it to see it get even better and sillier.