The Beginning After the End

by TurtleMe

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Romance Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Reincarnation School Life Supernatural Wuxia

King Grey has unrivaled strength, wealth, and prestige in a world governed through martial ability. However, solitude lingers closely behind those with great power. Beneath the glamorous exterior of a powerful king lurks the shell of man, devoid of purpose and will.

Reincarnated into a new world filled with magic and monsters, the king has a second chance to relive his life.  Correcting the mistakes of his past will not be his only challenge, however. Underneath the peace and prosperity of the new world is an undercurrent threatening to destroy everything he has worked for, questioning his role and reason for being born again.

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TurtleMe

TurtleMe

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jlkc
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Not bad but overrated

81-107+ are on Gravity Tales for those who are wondering.

As much as I wanted to give 5/5, this story can be summed up as not bad but overrated. The authors grammar and style are better than you can ask for from a web novel. However, The Beginning After the End suffers when it comes to both the story and the characters. 

The characters aren't bad, they're just uninteresting and don't feel real enough. Aside from the main character who we get to see most of the time, the rest of the characters seem like their only purpose is to advanced the plot or make us laugh. The antagonists are even worse. The dwarf rulers who get introduced simply to force the main character to end up training even more, Lucas who is there simply to create tension while acting like the typical Xian Xia young master, Professor who picks a fight with his students and almost gets the princess killed and many more. This is part of the reason why I gave the story 1/5.

Next up we have the story, which is the weakest part of this novel. The worst part about this novel is how the author forces the plot with his characters. Sometimes it is an antagonist that is introduced just a chapter before, others a side character acting out of character. All of this is done in order to advance the plot. This makes very difficult to immerse myself in the story when I see how the author forces his characters to behave unlike themselves simply to create tension. I can't imagine why the author would do this unless he did not plan far enough ahead and forces things to change the direction of the story every so often. 

To make things worse, the story's first arc is far too similar to Mushoku Tensei while the story's school arc is too similar to Mahouka Koukou no Rettousei/The Irregular at Magic High School. It's almost like he combined both of them to make the first two arcs. Then to break things up and make it different we get yet another world domination story with the big bads trying to rule the world and the main character has to train super hard in order to stop them. I will never understand why authors feel the need to make everything epic with heroes stopping world domination plots when simply letting your characters develop and act like themselves is enough to create a wonderful story.

Rant over-

TLDR: The story is enjoyable but the author's lack of creativity makes it less so.

potemkin
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A well balanced wuxia-like story

The good points:

  • The mc is powerful enough to keep the story going, but not too strong.
  • The new characters are slowly introduced to the story, they don’t pop out of nowhere. You get a chance to get to know them.
  • The information about the power levels and abilities blends right in the story. No infodumps.
  • Romance and friendly relations are not sudden. 
  • Women are part of the story, not just a pair of breasts with legs (like you would often find in chinese wuxia).
  • Logical power-ups, no “mysterious” techniques or “heavenly” items that have this god-of-the-machine feeling. He has one power-up that came out nowhere, basically, but it was from relationship with a character that was introduced to the story (if somewhat spontaneously).
  • Not too many/long flashbacks.

The not so good points:

  • The story at least once goes like this: “He (side character) felt he (mc) emanated the aura of a king”. But it doesn’t explain why. Say, in other stories you read “he gave out a thick bloodlust”, but it was previously explained that it came from countless killings. I expected an explanation about this “kingly” aura, we know he was a king previously, but it didn’t feel right. Something along the lines of “he looked at me as if I was beneath him” or “he carefully stroked his cat, as if I was a subject in his court”. I wanted some insight into the mc’s mannerisms, into his personality.
  • Parents don’t question where did mc learn everything. His father and mother feel stupid, I hope they don’t become characters with a plain personality. [Update: this is slowly improving]
  • [Update] Some qualities of the characters tend to disappear (no more kingly aura)

The hopes for the story:

  • I hope the characters’ personalities evolve according to the circumstances and events.
  • I hope for a realistic ratio of male/female characters. Don’t want a stupidly big amount of females following the ridiculously popular male. [Update: It feels like the male population is just there to highlight MC's qualities, there is no competition, it's like MC is the only male on the universe of the story , the only other male badass is grandpa]
  • Sometimes explain why he decided something (e.g. why did he decide to become an adventurer?), and not just drop the bomb.
  • I’d like a smart protagonist that knows what to hide and what to show other people, one that doesn’t let his emotions cloud his judgement too much (but that’s just a personal preference). [Update: check!, looks like it is going my way!]
  • I enjoy buildup/release cycles in the stories I read. ***SPOILER-ISH*** The fight with the director ended almost as soon as I started reading it (no suspense, no buildup). [Update:  This is situation is improving.]
  • Perhaps a little more world building? We’ve met a small amount of creatures and other species. [Update: The world is rapidly expanding since this last arc started]

I like the direction the story is taking, I look forward for more.

GreyHide
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xianxia(power magnet),a hint of jap(loli and 2d girls), a korean male lead(RE:)

I had high hopes for this since it got recommended by a TL of a ln i liked but so many inconsistent things that got me dropping it

-power ups keep approaching hime like flies like how a xianxia would

-he keeps saying that he is a king but in that other world he is nothing but a prime fighting cock so how can he be classified as king?

-he was having trouble with his body balance as a 4y/o and then here comes damsel in distress and he became world fighting champion killing 4 adults lol

-author keeps making a 7y/o girl blush at mc, who is 4???? lay off the shota/loli hentai author. Your fetish is leaking to this novel, seriously, the little girl was isolated and is hungry for a friend not for Mc D.

I just cant keep reading up to that point as I can already imagine him "conquering" girls at 10y/o. too pedo for my taste

 

 

 

Killashard
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So far, the author has written 4 total chapters and I am enjoying every bit of it.  The MC and his family have their moments of funniness and it is not forced, IMO.  One thing that has bugged me about many different stories is the horrible grammar many have in them.  This has fantastic grammar and I haven’t noticed any spelling errors or the like.  Keep up the good work!

 

Update:  Obviously, the author has written many more chapters.  The author has taken criticism of the story in a mature manner and has changed it for the better.  I'm eagerly awaiting more chapters!

amalirom
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It was good, but it gets worse

Altho many people pinpointed all the good and bad points of the story, and i should do the same as a reviewer, but i wont. Why? Because fault of the story are not the biggest problem here, its the attitude of the author. You see, pre 40 chapters were good. Best ones were from 10 to 30. But it got worse, oh boy it did. I understand that any good story needs a good worldbuilding, and the best example of that would be Ze Tian Ji, which altho doesnt have a lot of action, with each chapter brings something new. After chapter 40 some part were straight up recycled from previous ones, but this chapter 47 is the one that made me explode. Why? Because its empty. The contents of the chapter are absolute zero, water in its purest form, its not even a filler. The worst written cn/ln i ever read(MGA), even this piece of garbage had never done something so ridiculous. I know how important cliffhangers are for this types of the stories, but you need to at least make them mean something, whilst the last few ones were so anticlimactic that it made me upset. I will try and read a  few more chapters but if this circlejerk will continue ill just drop this story, like any other sane person would. Some of you may say, "But what about foreshadowing? Its also a very important part of the story." Well have you ever read ISSTH? This work is king of foreshadowing, and if you read it you would know that there was only a single attempt at foreshadowing in this story ( another continent) And it failed miserably. The poing of foreshadowing is to show a little bit, to tease the main crew, here it presented in broad daylight with captain obvious screaming in the background. I started reading this story when the very first chapter came out, and was really happy that it got better and better with every chapter, but after a bit it started going downhill, whenn all of that recalling of the day started happening. You know how our mc tell us how he spent the day. Exactly the smae as the previous one. For on and on and on. I just feel like author doesnt know what to write about, but still tries to write about something just to not get forgotten . And that makes me sad. If you need to recollect you thoughts just take a hiatus for a couple of weeks, come up with the plan of a story for the next hundred or so chapters and you are good to go. Rinse repeat untill the end of the story.

KnightOfXentar
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slightly incoherent story

from this story I have the feeling, that author doesnt have clear picture what he wants to write. It jumps from one style to another. Very inconsistent.


– On one hand MC is supposed to be reincarnated being, who was king in his previous life. On another MC sometimes acts like real brat without any experience.
(example: at one moment he acts like experienced scholar who study seriously, at another he thinks immature stuff “bad people should not hurt mama” GEEZ)



– also I cant accept whole stuff of being thrown across time and space and switching between those 2 lives. There is absolutely no way I am going to believe, that when he returned back to his old life he would say “no, I want to go back to being 3 year old kid  and lets ignore all of my family and friends from my original life.”  (whole life full of family and friends versus 3 years of being baby — not really a choice)



Another problem is the unrealistic interaction with characters.
– adventurer/friend of his father wants to “test”  3 year old kid when in reality he only “wanted to put him into place” and obviously it ended in showing how MC is “awesome” … REALLY? So cliché! Also person who wants to “put 3 year old into place” is not really friend but a big asshole.
– some random side characters says about MC “he shows aura of king” WTF? In this new world kings are some farts who get into their position through inheritance… thats totally different from his old world where kings were the best warriors. So mismatched.
– or “he stroked the cat, like it was a subject at his court” … sorry, but this just doesnt feel right.



this story is also full of stupid cliché. 
– MC is already stronger then adults when he is only 3 year olds.
– No real struggle for MC because he is so strong. And if he somehow gets into big trouble, then some DEUS EX MACHINA saves him. There is no thrill here.
– right after birth he looks at his new mom and she is the most beautiful woman he ever saw…. I dont see any reason why quality of new life depends on how beautful mother is. So lame. (also no woman looks “perfect” right after birth… sweaty hair, tired look, you know realistic stuff)
– stupid parents who cant notice that their 3 year old kid knows the stuff that even adults dont know. 



Overall score:
Apart from that really stupid and cliché stuff its okayish story, I guess.

RagNarok
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If you have ever read Mushoku Tensei this gives off the same feelings of amazingness from the beginning and i hope this becomes a long time running story. Can’t write proper review untill we get to see more content but from what we do have this is a very interesting story and gets you imersed in it really fast. Just wish more chapters were out lol.

AndrewJVarela
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Rushed plot, lack of character attachment

Great story with faults. Atuhor really knows how to create moments in a story that create a resonance with the reader. The lancer scene is one of those moments.

The problems start around chapter 70-80 when the author starts introducing the 'main' enemy. The way he's done it has overwhelmed every other aspect of the plot, leaving the author with only one way forward- that is, disregarding everything else and leading the plot towards the end goal of battling this main enemy. Huge mistake. The reader can no longer sit back and enjoy the story, as the unnecessary tension makes everything that is happening now feel small and worthless.

You're constantly trying to move the story towards the end goal. Don't do that. Yes, that sounds weird, but please understand. You want the story to naturally move towards the end goal. You, the author, shouldn't be artificially forcing it. You need to let the story enjoy itself in the present. Let him enjoy his time in school, with localised conflicts sorrounding it. The story should happen in stages. Instead you try and skip past all of his major developments and focus on getting the MC where you want him to go, because you're looking too far ahead.

What does this mean? Among other things, it means I don't feel attached to your characters. I feel very little for them, even though I've read 90 chapters worth of them. Don't get me wrong, they have their moments. They're not bad characters, even if the MC is all over the place. You simply haven't allowed the reader to engage and attach to them because you're always focusing on that end goal. Without the readers opportunity to enjoy the present, and watch the characters develop naturally, we cannot relate and feel for the characters like we should.

And, to finish this with a personal gripe, I hate the way you've done the Lucas - Elf Princess (yes, that's how little I feel for her) conflict around chapter 90. The way you set up Lucas to not just kidnap, but rape the Elf Princess, is honestly what made me stop reading. I hate authors who feel the need to tear into their characters like that for no reason except because it creates emotional turmoil. Does this further the plot? No. Then don't include it. And don't give me bullshit about furthering character development. It's just cheap. Yes, I do get unnecessarily upset about things like this. No matter how much I enjoy an authors work, things like this are simply a betrayel that I cannot stand.

But, if you ever feel the need to do something like this again, let me offer you a peice of advice: resolve the conflict within the chapter you write it. If you had've done that, I would have forgived you enough to keep reading your work. But, like every other chapter, you have a fetish for cliffhangers. At least in chapters with heavy emotional turmoil like that, you can't do cliffhangers.

I aplogise for being rude. As I said, those sort of things make me irrational. Overall your story is good. You simply focused too much on the future, and couldn't let you or the reader enjoy the present.

maniac
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Found this on another site

Hey writer i found this on WebNovel, have you put it there or has someone else impersonated you? even doing paypal stuff. just wondering

Psychogate
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As a fan of dragons, op characters and the general fantasy setting this story not only  is one of my favorites on RR but one of my favorite fantasy story out of all the numerous novels and stories i have read.

The only thing that I ask as a reader is that you don't make this series short or lacking in environmental detail. more than once i have finished fictions on this site only to wonder more about the world, lore, characters and various factions that are present in a series. 

more than one i caught myself thinking this would be an awesome manga, and even forgetting this isn’t a PDF of a major novel. Seriously keep up the amazing work and this series has potential to be utterly incredible.