Dead World Online

by Rabidcereal

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Romance Martial Arts Virtual Reality
Reid Therwell has been training for half his life with rigorous physical and mental training. His entire life has been about one thing that he has been preparing for. Games, or rather, one game. It would be the first virtual reality game of its kind. He has known about it for far longer than most people because of his parent's involvement in the game's development.

The game was Dead World Online. It would be the first virtual reality massive multiplayer online roleplaying game. Reid's goal was to be the strongest player in Dead World Online while enjoying the game to the fullest. However, the things he lacks might just hold him back.
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 171,351
  • Average Views :
  • 6,590
  • Followers :
  • 491
  • Favorites :
  • 101
  • Ratings :
  • 28
  • Pages :
  • 355
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
Rabidcereal

Rabidcereal

The Most Rabid of Cereals

Achievements
20 Comments
Fledgling Reviewer (II)
15 Review Upvotes
Word Smith (IX)
Top List #2000
500 Followers
100,000 Views
Error Fixer
5th Anniversary
Advertisement
Remove

Leave a review

Reviews
Sort by:
AomineZaky
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Generic Setting but Carried Out Well

You know how every season there's that generic type of anime ? this is the generic type of story (thankfully without the harem and dense MC). Standard VRMMORPG setting with an MC getting more and more powerful as the chapters go by (chapter 16 so far). but in no way is that a bad thing. if it was merely the MC getting power through pure luck, i would have burned le author, but its actually acceptable. he gets his power through effort...sort of

 

Style: Not much description and emotion in the writing and actions of the MC. POVs are are done fairly well and not complaining much. Just need to add more details to your writing

 

Story: My complaint is solely regarding MCs beginning. The in-game parents had almost no function what so ever due to their impact, or lack of impact, on the MCs actions. Just needs some fleshing out and its all good.

 

Grammar: No problems except for the quotation marks ("). When you wanna switch from dialogue to description, end the dialogue with a quotation mark. it gets confusing but its quite obvious for the readers, but there's not much to say other than that. your English is great but not perfect, no one has perfect English and you could always use some better and more various vocab

 

Character: Fleshing out of the MC was not done that well. So far, he is the only impact-full character in your story yet it seems rather lacking. your other characters are near insignificant to your story. Character's actions on the other hand is consistent and i have no problems with him as a whole, merely his back ground not being well structured.

 

Generic is by no means bad. Its generic for a reason and that reason being its interesting and hard to get wrong. keep on writing and know that i will continue reading when you update. try to get a constant flow of chapters if possible, but hey, its your story. we are merely hitching a ride and enjoying the story as you make it. Have fun writing and i hope to read more :3

LiquidOcelot
Overall

Found this fiction just today and had to read up to the last released chapter in one go. It's a blessing when you skip through endless list of fictions, then something makes you put your finger on one of them and the fiction is actually good anough to keep you glued for the rest of the day. There is only one somewhat negative side I should voice. Sometimes I have the feeling that honourable author was heavily influenced by "Ark" or similar light novels. There is no telling for sure, so whatever. Five stars are well deserved anyway.

djsosonut
Overall

If you're a fan of VRMMORPG then you should check out this one.  This story deserves more recognition than it's getting.  It has a great VR world and interesting MC. Plus it's one of the few VR stories on this site where the side character stories and personalities are just as interesting as the MC.  They truly help to flesh out the world and enrich the story, so I never feel the desire to just skip those sections to get back to the MC like I have with some original fiction.