Darius Supreme

by Kotario

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

On the 15th of March 2139, the world mourns the passing of Darius Stone, billionaire broker, and philanthropist. 
Yet while his family and friends put his body to rest, Darius wakes up to find himself reborn into a younger body in a different world.
A strange voice informs him that his soul has been transported into the magic-filled world of Faust on the behest of a mysterious Goddess called Vena, for the sole purpose of entertaining her through his struggles.
In this world where any dream can be achieved with enough effort, he sets out to become a Supreme, an existence above Mortals and even Gods!

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Warning: This novel features a villainous protagonist. If you have enjoyed Warlock of the Magus World, then you should be able to tolerate Darius Stone’s actions and choices throughout the novel. 
Note: This story is slow-paced in order to allow for better world-building and development. If you’re looking for a fast-paced action story, this might not be for you.

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Author
Kotario

Kotario

The Master Hand

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BansheePanda
Overall

Is good, please gib moar

Reviewed at: Chapter 60

What to say?

It's a good story. Author says its slow paced, but it feels just right to me. Darius is a realistically portrayed and consistent character. He is logical in his thoughts and actions, though doesn't seem all that villainous yet.

Ah, one thing that bothers me is that Darius didn't take full advantage of CAESAR in those first 24 hours. He could have asked more questions and dug more answers, but only asked a few basic things. Which, okay, I get we're being introduced to the system, but I feel like Darius, as a person, would exhaust all sources of information to have the best advantage possible. It just irked me that he seemed to waste his opportunity to get further ahead.

EDIT: There's a new review further down that points out the large amount of telling vs. showing in this fic. I can agree that there's quite a lot of that, but in my opinion, this doesn't detract from the story much, if at all. Especially if you're used to reading Chinese power fantasies, where telling is the main method of narration.

What I'm trying to say is: yes, there is a lot of telling. But it's not necessarily a bad thing. It's still early days; we're being introduced to the world and the characters. Also, I'd like to point out that this is told from a limited PoV. Some things will have to be omitted for story progression. If we were privy to all of Darius' thoughts and actions from the get go, where would the tension and suspense in the plot come from?

TL;DR: There's a lot of telling vs. showing, but it's not the bad kind. Would only suggest for Kotario-daren to maybe add a few sentences in passing to explain away "plot holes and inconsistencies."

ronin1337
Overall

Really love this story and hope it goes on forever. The character progression and world building is really smooth and everything is done in a smart way. Darius is a great character that really thinks ahead and makes intelligent decisions that further his goals. This story has been such a breath of fresh air that I didn't even realize I needed with how many novels out there that have the dumbest heros or MCs that get amazing powers or abilities and then use it for dumb crap. This is a must read for any lovers of strategy or magic.

Varkt
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A Well Written Villain Fantasy Story

Reviewed at: Chapter 51

So far from Chapter 51.

 

 

Love it.  Love everything about it.  The style is superb while the characters are believable.  It feels like you put an actual person in the story to be the main character.  His decisions are logical and methodical, and he is not afraid of being his own person.  He doesn't jump on every woman he sees and isn't a hero trying to help the weak either.  He has a brain and he uses it.  That is a huge plus in my book.

The side characters are superbly written so far and aren’t just a passing fancy to make the main character look good or fawn all over him.  They are real and follow their own set path with their own emotions and desires.

The story is well written and thought out and make you desperate for more.  The world is well thought out and vast.  I can’t wait to see what you have in store for us author.  It seems like it will be a lot of fun to read.

I'm not a grammar man, but I have yet to see any major mistakes or errors to the story.  It flows well and doesn’t feel like someone’s first time writing the English language.

 

Overall, I am looking forward to more.  As I said before, I love it.  Please keep writing author!

AsassinDead
Overall

Main character feels one dimensional

Reviewed at: Chapter 15

This story relies way too much on telling and not enough showing. The author says the main character is a super smart and charismatic businessman who plans a lot. The says he is all these things be we get very little evidence of them. This cause the main character to feels one dimensional because he has all these things he is the "best" at and no flaws.

Spoilers 

He has first 24 hours to ask questions about the world he is in and he barely asks any and apparently his first plan is to walk in the woods to the nearest town knowing there are potential dangerous creatures out there. He also gains basicly a mind control ring that means people cannot betray him which for your charismatic businessman character is a bad sign because that waves away all the need for building up trusted people and says once they are branded it doesn't matter what they want.