Abyssal Road Trip

by redhand

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

It had been a long day, and Julia had just been trying to get home.

The Abyss wasn't a stop off she had planned to include.

Some folks get summoned, some get reincarnated, others get lost in computer games.

But that's all just stories, games, and even so, she didn't ever expect to get Cursed.

She's doesn't see herself a hero, that's for the crazy folks she knows.

Julia wanted a career, her own family, a sense of accomplishment and control in her life.

She wasn't expecting to have to add keeping her Soul intact.

What will her new path cost her? Will she even recognise herself at the other end?

The Darkness of the Abyss is a place where a single misstep can cost an eternity. 

For in darkness, secrets lurk, and some aren't there for the taking.

They are there to take.

Image by Comfreak from Pixabay 

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Author
redhand

redhand

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Mynthio
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Let's start with some points for improvement. The grammar is sporadically horrendous, the reason for the comparatively high score is that the mistake often boils down to the wrong syntax, presumably from rewriting sentence partway through and thus is still readable with no to almost no guesswork needed.

Next up is a compound problem where things aren't explained well or hard to understand (such as the Skill listing being a mess) which coupled with the grammar can make for a challenging riddle, though there ought not to be one.

The characters are well-crafted and realistic. The characters have their own interests and though most are self-serving there are no comic book villains who are evil for the sole purpose of being evil. The protagonist is likeable and has common sense.  Besides this, all characters are unique and fun to read about.

I find the story to as of yet contain a lack of overarching goal or plot that would keep a readers attention to the big picture instead of only focusing on the here and now, but the beginnings of such can already be found, and I consider this fiction already well worth my time and hopefully yours too. Should you wish to give it a try I'd recommend reading at least until chapter 4. All in all, any fan of LitRPGs should read this, and many more besides.

Aspartame
Overall

Interesting concept. The progression flow is awesome. Dialogue tends towards internal, to the exclusion of everything not in the MC's perception or understanding. This can be mostly good, or leave the reader wondering if the MC's soul wasn't just vored by an invisible bucket-demon-mimic she tripped over outside the text. Seriously, the story goes full no-context weird in a few places. Still recommend, one of the best Female MC Demon stories out there.