Eyes of the Asura: A Superhero GameLit

by J Pal

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

The world changed forever when supers emerged. Eighty years have passed since WW2, when Prime flew through the skies for the first time, and scholars still debate the origin of power.

Daniel Das lives with his uncle in post-super London, the Hero League's primary hub. He's spent all of his twenty-one years waiting to awaken a metagene, but it hasn't happened yet. The cut-off age is rapidly approaching, and he's losing hope. The last thing Daniel wants is to become another statistic.

Meanwhile, the league is steadily losing parts of the city to the growing villain factions. Daniel's uncle wishes to keep him away from the world of supers, but with the hot zones closing in, that's easier said than done. If that weren't bad enough, something deep inside Daniel has awoken, it demands he step up, do good and protect the people he loves. He doesn't know the source of the compulsion, but it's getting stronger by the day and he's desperate to feed it.

Daniel dreams to join the league. It needs all the assistance it can get, and only they can help satiate his hunger.

-------------------

Disclaimer:
The story contains body-horror elements due to how the protagonist's power manifests.
The GameLit/Progression elements are gradual, and there are no stats in this story. The protagonist will enjoy occasional power upgrades as opposed to rapid growth like in other RR stories.
The story doesn't have any intended tragic elements but its a harsh reality and will sometimes edge towards the darker end of the spectrum.

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J Pal

J Pal

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 0: Vish and Rakshasa ago
Chapter 1: Daniel Das ago
Chapter 2: Life Of A Powerless ago
Chapter 3: Mortal Wounds ago
Chapter 4: Chosen By The Asuran Veda ago
Chapter 5: Origins of Power ago
Chapter 6: A Super At Last ago
Chapter 7: Food for Power ago
Chapter 8: Super Delivery Boy ago
Chapter 9: Field Test ago
Chapter 10: Keeping Low ago
Chapter 11: Super Agent For Super Heroes ago
Chapter 12: The League Of Heroes ago
Chapter 13: Physical Test (Part 1) ago
Chapter 14: Physical Test Part 2 ago
Chapter 15: Over The FIrst Hurdle ago
Interlude 1: Plain Jane by Commander Kane ago
Chapter 16: Essence of a Cthonic Infant ago
Chapter 17: Attack On The Neighbourhood ago
Chapter 18: Into The Rift ago
Chapter 19: Acolyte Of Skarr ago
Chapter 20: On The Radar ago
Chapter 21: Cultural Differences ago
Chapter 22: Sorcerers and Generals ago
Announcement: Reader Interaction ago
Chapter 23: Hero Team In The Making ago
Chapter 24: Costume Workshop ago
Chapter 25: League Physical Test 2 ago
Chapter 26 ago
Chapter 27: Crisis Control ago
Chapter 28: Tin Men Have No Hearts ago
Chapter 29: Temporary ALliances ago
Chapter 30: Goliath ago
Chapter 31: Pass Marks ago
Chapter 32: Hero Roles ago
Chapter 33: Hero Costume And Name ago
Chapter 34: Offerings For The Patron ago
Chapter 35: Argus the All-Seeing ago
Chapter 36: Prepping For The First Mission ago
Chapter 37: Stalker ago
Chapter 38 ago
Chapter 39 ago
Chapter 40: Old Friends With New Names ago
Chapter 41 ago
Chapter 42 ago
Chapter 43 ago
Chapter 44 ago
Chapter 45 ago
Chapter 46 ago
Chapter 47 ago
Chapter 48 ago
Chapter 49 ago
Chapter 50 ago
Chapter 51 ago
Chapter 52 ago
Chapter 53 ago
Chapter 54 ago
Chapter 55 ago
Chapter 56 ago
Chapter 57 ago

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Ziggy
Overall

Decently written but not for everyone

Reviewed at: Chapter 8: Super Delivery Boy

This will be one of the few stories I didn't like, but give a higher rating in spite of it.

The writing quality is decent to above average for the standard on RR which is always a big point in favor. But the litrpg aspect feels unnecessary to the story and could be removed without losing anything. In fact I think it would be better without it. And the author treats Hindu mythology as something the reader will already know about. Which is unfortunately not true for most people.

If you throw a dragon into a fantasy story, people are already going to know what you're talking about. Everyone knows what dragons are. This is also true for elves, dwarves, and so on. Or even the Greek and Roman pantheons. Everyone already knows who Zeus is. But in spite of many years of reading fiction and a general knowledge of various mythologies, the author quickly delves deeply enough into Hindu mythology to where I was completely lost.

Examples of various names and terms that come up: Banasura, Chri Batti, Hidimbi, Naga, Ravana, Asuran Veda, Kumbhakanna, Kabandha... This is all from just one page. Do any of these names ring a bell for you? Me neither. They're treated as something we're supposed to "get" though. And full warning, the concept of karma is going to play a big part in this story. Which is a personal pet peeve that I know some people love and others hate as much as I do.

If you know your Hindu mythology or find it interesting, this might be up your alley. If instead you have no interest or experience with it, you're going to feel pretty adrift with all the completely foreign references.

jxlegend
Overall

Main character is worryingly close to being good at too much stuff too quickly.

 

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! kinda...

 

After just, what, a week of having his power, he is already in the same league as professionals? He sucks up powers and immediately gets rewarded for it. Right now it's fine-ish, but the trajectory is pretty fast, and there'd have to be some... retcon... to keep the narrative tension, cuz I can't see him NOT roflstomping everything within a month at this pace. Also like other reviewers said it felt like I was thrown into the deep end with the mythology (so much so that I was literally googling stuff as I was reading), but I still liked it.

 

I dunno, you really reeled me in with the intro chapters, but now he's getting handed stuff, and probably what broke my immersion/camel's back was the handing of a cute furry girl that is obligated to be obedient to the main character. Not saying it's destined to be a harem kinda story, with an OP MC handed everything, but there are some red flags popping up that make it look like a probability.

 

I'm not really into power fantasies like that, but it's written well so this 3.5 star review won't tank the rating.

Sottler
Overall

Consumption. Vampirism of the sorts. Don't feed the plants, except this time, do? The premise seems antithesis towards expectations of good and evil, by placing a rather violent, vicious, and visceral power into the hands of a hopeful, curious, and yearning protagonist. You can feel the want.

I'm a sucker for the blue tables and LitRPG statistics, but I'm okay with the story mostly forgoing them. The world reminds me of One Punch Man's, with superpowers of all types interspersed throughout society. There are those without power, those with extraordinary powers, and folks in between. 

Chapters are delivered often and with the grace of writing form you see in more established authors, but err on the shorter side. Grammar is similarly fine but there are times when letters will be missing or a homynym will be used by accident. Par for the course, especially since there hasn't been much time for revisions yet.

If you're looking for something fresh from a consistent and dedicated author, here you are. 

Ashish choudhary
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Sur and Asur, with cross dimensions and Chaos

Reviewed at: Chapter 18: Into The Rift

First of all, I LOVED THIS FICTION. 

Okay, so Gods and Demons, who is good and who is bad. If history is decided by the victors are we sure that the ones we call demons were the bad guys?

What would happen if you suddenly have a world in which there are beings of different dimensions, beings who are mutants like X-Men, beings who derive power from the ones we call Gods and Demons. This fic answers this question.

Our MC Iris derives his power from one of these so-called Demons Kabandha and he lives in this world of powerful people having a wide range of powers, some fighting to save this chaotic world and some to cause more chaos.

Do you know Hindu Mythology? Well, if you do like me, you will find that the facts taken from mythology are accurate and precise. This is the second story I have read and loved based on aspects of Gods and Demons or Sur and Asur, as we call them in Hindu mythology.

The grammar is good, I did not notice any grammatical errors to say. I have not seen any plot holes, world-building is fantastic. Characters, they are awesome. I love each one of them. I am a fan of the style in which the story is told.

I would greatly recommend you to read this. It's just frigging awesome.

bob7777
Overall

I was apprehensive going in, to read something based on Hindu mythology, especially mixed with the super hero genre. Hindu inspired books as a rule give me a strong 'oof', as those writing seem to have little knowledge of the actual mythology and a strong wikipedia search to augment that one myth they read in high school history class.

 

Here I was so happy to see a  pretty unique origin of power. Along with an interesting take on classic Hindu heroes and demons. 

 

I look forward to seeing the huge amount of potential world building come to life. So far, despite an MCU type of weird world building, I haven't seen any plotholes/power structure conflicts. Already love the characters, and appreciate that they have flaws and strengths.

 

 

 

 

redmirage
Overall

This story sucked me in and wouldn't let me go till I caught up. I'm glad I tried it. I don't usually read Super fictions, but I'll make this one the exception.

The blend of hindu mythology and futuristic super world is well done, and every chapter keeps you wanting more. The way the author writes about karma and the hindu pantheon is extremely interesting.

If you're looking for a fast-paced and action packed read, this is the story for you.

quasarflare
Overall

The story has really just begun, so my review isn't particularly in-depth, but I'm enjoying the lore here, and the way the story builds around it. 

I also hope you'll lean more heavily into the mythology aspect of it; I don't mind much Hindu-mythology-inspired stories, and would be really interested in the interplay between pantheons

amassie
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Started out good

Reviewed at: Chapter 41

The concept is really cool.  I enjoy that it's not based on the usual stories and the author set up the characters to be interesting.  However after about chapter 20 the story quality starts to drastically decline.  The  spelling doesn't look like it was run through a spell check and there are multiple versions of the same sentences all smashed together as if the author when through multiple revisions but forgot to remove the original wording.  The characters likewise start out interesting but seem to stagnate and feel two dimentional.  The main characters power likewise has a lot of potential but the power increases in multiple small jump that just are not different enough from the last.  It would be better if the power ups were something that the main character had to work hard to get but had more of an impact.  It feels a bit like he can just cheese the system by piggybacking on other hero's at the moment.  Like if he just told everyone how his abilities worked people could gather power for him to make him an invicible hero.  If he had some reason gather power in combat that would make for a good balance/handycap to keep his powers in check.

Phobos
Overall

Starts a bit difficultly, gets great

Reviewed at: Chapter 39

Some minor spoilers follow. It's an interesting world the author has created. Superheroes have gone corporate, with branding and sponsorship deals. It's well-imagined and described how such a thing might work out, from ill-will on either side of the super/normal divide, to super-villains and how they might prosper.

Unfortunately for many readers, the early part of the story is a little less accessible to a western audience. Rakshasas are demons, Asuras are spirits, or at least that's what I've gathered. If the story grabs you, you might spend some time on wikipedia discovering the background. However, even if you don't agonize over the Hindu mythology with which you may be unfamiliar, you'll still be treated to an excellent story.

Danny, an englishman of Indian ancestry discovers he's unlikely to be a super by genetics, but he discovers family secrets involving magic. The story is really just entering its second arc, the first was Danny trying to be licensed as a Hero, but it shows a lot of promise. I'm always looking forward to the next chapter.

todd
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

We've all seen Thors, Basts, Lokis and Jupiters. This is the first time I've found a story that sinks into the Vedic mythology, and not in a small way. The monsters, the gods, both good and evil, they're all used to build up the world and create a sense of an interconnected world that's foreign to most Western readers. That isn't to say that you need to be familiar with Hindu mythology, as the things that we need to know for the MC are explained, but it's great to see an otherwise underutilized setting taking wing, as well as putting a spin on the usual superhero story.

Style: Fairly smooth. There are some hiccups due to grammar, but overall a solid, active writing style.

Grammar: A few problems with misspelled or incorrect words. I'm assuming that a spellchecker is cleaning up things, but replacing now with not can dramatically alter the meaning of a sentence. Similarly, there are statements that seem like they're missing negations. It winds up being solid overall, but there are noticeable errors that could be cleaned up.

Story: Overall, great. It's a parallel modern Earth, with metagenes creating supers and duking it out with villains. It runs realistic over idealistic, with heroes just being people and superpowers causing death and devastation. The MC is a decent sort, with a little bit of a chosen one thing going on (once we find out that the world is out of balance), but he plays it pretty straight and the power that he gets is both interesting and has a set growth dynamic. I generally like the idea of karma, but I'm somewhat concerned as to how the overarching plot aspect of correcting the world's karmic balance will play out. It states that the world must be balanced, which implies that every good deed must be countered by a bad one, while also stating that each individual should gather good karma. An action that would necessarily imbalance the world and require evil be committed to balance their good deeds, creating a zero-sum world (for every winner there's a loser). Otherwise, the core aspects of the hero world and unkind multiverse make for a great setting.

Characters: At this point, the only character that we have significant insight into is the MC. He makes for a solid protagonist, a little too eager to join the world of heroes, but with a desire to protect his neighborhood over saving the world. He's great in action, even if the traumatic beats to his background tend to flash by with little weight. The rest of the side characters still need more screen time to really be fleshed out, but for the moment they don't feel like cardboard cutouts just filling in the space around the protagonist. I like the MC and his powerset, and I look forward to seeing him grow as he sets out to be a proper hero.