Mob without system in Naruto world

by CrusadeAgainstFurries

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

HEY, WHERE IS MY CHEAT SYSTEM???
WHY AM I SOME NAMELESS MOB????

Can I at least have a Sharingan.......please?

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue – never drink with russians ago
Chapter 1: Eiji Nakamura ago
Chapter 2: choice of a mob ago
Chapter 3: ripping off children is to easy! ago
Chapter 4: bad feeling ago
Chapter 5: the childhoodfriend of a mob can only be a mob too ago
Chapter 6: Affinity ago
Chapter 7: new path ago
Chapter 8: The dangers of training ago
Chapter 9: What’s important ago
Chapter 10: Annoying ago
Chapter 11: first teacher ago
Chapter 12: It heals fast, don’t worry ago
Chapter 13: The budget genius! ago
Chapter 14: A girl’s heart and a dance ago
Chapter 15: Trauma ago
Chapter 16: Enrollment? ago
Chapter 17: Enrollment! ago
Chapter 18: Troublemaker-Squad! ago
Chapter 19: Traitor! ago
Chapter 20: Sumo match! ago
Chapter 21: If a girl cooks for you, you only have one choice! ago
Chapter 22: Looking for a fight? ago
Chapter 23: Four Heavenly Kings ago
Chapter 24: Girly side ago
Chapter 25: Eiji vs Apple-Juice-Lover ago
Chapter 26: Turmoil in Konoha ago
Chapter 27: Dirty Baddie’s scheme ago
Chapter 28: Eija vs Booger King ago
Chapter 29: Underhanded plan ago
Chapter 30: Empress! ago
Chapter 31: Candidates ago
Chapter 32: Team eleven ago
Chapter 33: Test ago
Chapter 34: Bandit mission ago
Chapter 35: Trap ago
Chapter 36: Treasure worm ago
Chapter 37: Sneak attack ago
Chapter 38: Team eleven vs 42 ago
Chapter 39: Shinobi life ago
Chapter 40: Chunin exam ago
Chapter 41: Class reunion? ago
Chapter 42: Giving up so early? ago
Chapter 43: Passing the first test ago
Chapter 44: Barbecue ago
Chapter 45: Plan ruined! ago
Chapter 46: Helper ago
Chapter 47: Getting a scroll ago
Chapter 48: Thirst for each other ago
Chapter 49: Outta here ago
Chapter 50: Odds ago
Chapter 51: Sasuke vs Zaku ago
Chapter 52: Boring! ago
Chapter 53: Rounin ago
Chapter 54: Tenten vs Temari ago
Chapter 55: Coldblooded ago
Chapter 56: Freaks ago
Chapter 57: Slaughter ago
Chapter 58: Ditching for a chick ago
Chapter 59: Free the ninkens!!! ago
Chapter 60: Draw! ago
Chapter 61: Fate ago
Chapter 62: End of the preliminaries ago
Chapter 63: Culprit ago
Chapter 64: Funeral ago
Chapter 65: Good guy ago
Chapter 66: First summoning attempt ago
Chapter 67: Garaga ago
Chapter 68: Ryuchi Cave ago
Chapter 69: Eiji’s golden life rules ago
Chapter 70: only a mob ago
Chapter 71: Nature of a mob ago
Chapter 72: Start of the finals ago
Chapter 73: Eiji vs Gaara part 1 ago
Chapter 74: Eiji vs Gaara part 2 ago
Chapter 75: Eiji vs Gaara part 3 ago
Chapter 76: Kidnapping ago
Chapter 77: Betraying ago
Chapter 78: All you ago
Chapter 79: End of the fight ago
Chapter 80: Father’s duty ago
Chapter 81: Just being a mob is fine. ago
Chapter 82: The superfan D ago
Side story 1 ago
Chapter 83: Puppet-Hokage ago
Chapter 84: Kill the D! ago
Chapter 85: Legacy ago
Chapter 86: Truth ago
Chapter 87: Training ago
Chapter 88: Call me sensei! ago
Chapter 89: Showtime! ago
Chapter 90: Proof ago
Chapter 91: Sasuke vs Danzo part 1 ago
Chapter 92: Sasuke vs Danzo part 2 ago
Chapter 93: Danzo’s death ago
Chapter 94: Responsibilty ago
Chapter 95: Observer ago
Chapter 96: From now on ago
Chapter 97: Organization ago
Chapter 98: End of part 1 ago
Interlude ago
Prologue (Part 2) ago
Chapter 99: Chisato ago
Chapter 100: Akatsuki atacks! ago
Chapter 101: Making life harder ago
Chapter 102: Who cares? ago
Chapter 103: Interesting show ago
Chapter 104: “Lost Hokage” ago
Chapter 105: Problematic ago
Chapter 106: Running ago
Chapter 107: Quick ago

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Grekeren
Overall

Starts okay but the author isent serious anymore, he is just meming. While that can be entertaining for a chapter or two it doesn't really work out long term. The story has the same problem most other Naruto stories have that they run out of steam around the chunin tests.

At this point in time the author focuses more on cheap comedic relief since he hasn't shown any of the protags teammates cabilities. I have literally no idea what his teammates can do and the protag just solves the teams problems.

Emagstar
Overall

"What my nationality was, is not important, because first of all, I am no longer in this world, and secondly, because there are more important things to know about me: for example, I was a true meme lord"

So, for me, this line from the third or fourth paragraph of the first chapter basically made me decide this probably wasn't for me.  I read a bit further, but using "u" and "tho", as far as I could tell unironically, basically cemented that this book and I weren't going to get on.

That said, I've given it a 2/5 rating; I didn't give it much a of a chance and it may pick up later on; 0.5 seemed maybe too harsh for a snap judgement.  But a review should ultimately reflect your personal tastes, and for me, this one was a big nope.

Vixsh
Overall

Fun, but not great

Reviewed at: Interlude

This type of story usually isn't my preference but it's pretty good for what it is. Nothing is overly complicated, and it's a fun romp. The power creep is a little too much though, kinda feels like the protagonist boosted to a lot of power around the Chunin exam. 

I'm looking forward to what the author develops since it looks like the story is going to seriously deviate from established canon.

megameh
Overall

If you Like Naruto, Enjoy This Junk Food

Reviewed at: Interlude

This story isn't amazingly well written, or even that new of a concept. BUT - this is a fun enough story for fans of Naruto. I liken this to a bag of Cheetos - Cheetos are not good for you, and aren't exactly made of high quality ingredients. But When you want a cheesey snack? There is nothing more delicious. If you want Gintama adjacent Naruto shenanigans, this is a good fic to read. It will never be one of the titans of this website, but that is ok - as long as goofy Naruto fun is what you want, goofy Naruto fun is what you will get. 

shalmac
Overall

The tone of first chapter and something which are cringe is quite misleading it becomes great later on. 

just skip the bullshit bully part if you don't like it. it seriously gets way better in the middle.

 

Once it covering plot which happens in naruto it's better. it's not a power fantasy

Frosty Nips
Overall

This is just another Gary Stu self insert. The main character faces little to no challenge in his life as a ninja, a deadly and harsh profession, and when he does it is quickly resolved in a paragraph or less. These kinds of stories aren't bad per say but they're usually never very good either. These stories are usually redeemed by either the side characters or the comedy. The side characters are all base clich├ęs and the comedy can be fall flat. Overall it's just a mediocre time waster.  

 

Edit: have to drop to down to a one star, the quality just really dropped in the later chapters. 

 

floug472
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Most fun i've had reading in a while.

Reviewed at: Interlude

At first glance this book is your standard crappy naruto fanfic, but given the fact that i read all of it in one go foregoing sleep and food and still, somehow, enjoyed myself.

It's clear that this story has something quite special about it, and i'd say that thing is pacing, there is no pause what-so-ever in this book, it just keeps going, not one unintersting bit of dialogue, and no superfluous descriptions.

It's not perfect, there are some entire sections of the story that are frankly just terrible(in particular the bit where the MC spends like a month fighting retard gangs) but even the retarded bits of the story are funny sometimes so you should definetly try to power through them.

Another thing that separates this from other fanfics is that it stays true to the material, there's no systems, divine gifts or whatnot, the MC is quite strong but he plays by the rules, which i like.

Overall i'd say give it a try, this is far from a masterwork of litterature but i had a great time reading it, which in the end i think is what really matters. 5/5

this review needs 200 words so you can ignore this bit, i'm just writting till i hit 200 words which should be verry soon if my calculations are

Mani
Overall

this story can be a mess for sure, with poor/no editing and sometimes flimsy plotlines. And more jokes than sense, and they don't ALWAYS land.

Despite this, i enjoy the story. Even as a non naruto fan.
i think there is a good heart in this story. the characters feel good when they are conveyed properly (which they aren't always), and the humor that lands genuinely cracks me up.
The story flip flops between absurd humor and heartfelt DETERMINATION. it's silly and bad and fun and gripping and cringy and encouraging all at once.

the story definitely bears the marks of fast and sloppy writing. i think it could benefit a lot from proper editing and generally more time spent on it. but i also think it's unrealistic to ask for. i think the story can probably only exist as it does, because this is the way the author desires to express it. The way it is, the text feels close to the author, and you can almost see in the text when it's written in a silly joking mood, because it speeds up and quickly spirals into absurd hilarity.

not my favorite story by far, but i like it. keep it up my guy.

don't know if royal road is the place for this story, the standards and expectations are very different to a site like scribblehub where this was originally posted (i think?). so the reception here is a lot harsher ;-;

Hacked Anonnymus
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Welp, one review got warned because forgot of spoiler alert, and this one I guess will also be warned due 'trolling?' I guess, so ill just kind of place a real review.

Style is weird, sometimes its real fast, sometimes real slow, sometimes there are real nonsence chapters, ill just give it a 3.5, not perfect but neither that good.

Mostly the fun, but it was only funny the first or so chapters. (1-40 or so)

Story. Welp, the title is "a mob in naruto" (without system btw) and prota is all but a mob, killing important figures and becoming hella strong while naruto chunnin exam stage.

A 2.

Grammar. Im not even qualified on talking about this, still, some words were kind of off that even a person like me can detect so... Idk a 4?

Characters.. Quite honestly, it felt like a chinese novel, I guess you know what I mean...

2 too.

Overall its a 3, its not that bad if you like overpowered Oc without a harem and a very acting fanfiction (one that actually changes the story) and for some, the humor could be for laughing at how good the joke was and not how bad the intent of joke was. Some may even like how simplistic the story is, without emotional bullshit (aside from one particular scene), without deppresion, without overcomplicated scenarios.

Still its not for me, I quite honestly would put it a 0.5 (like I did), but gotta recognize that its not that bad.

And yes, im scared of Wing san.

Btw.

Gg it says.

Zonzog
Overall

Turn off your brain and have fun.

Reviewed at: Chapter 106: Running

This is not a serious fanfiction. It is a comedy.

Don't expect it to be serious. Accept it's nature and you will have a good time. It gets a bit more serious when the first ark starts nearing it's end, and overall there is surprising amount of detail and charaters seem alive.

Grammar is far from perfect and there are numerous typos.

Real rating is probably about 4/5, but at the moment it is a bit underrated, so i give it 5/5