A Herald for Spirits
- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
While on Earth, the Church secretly battles over the planet's destiny with multiple other factions; Gabriel was just delivering pizzas when he ended up in a battle among creatures that defied logic.
Sure, he thought, who doesn't love pizza? But do angels, demons, and big ass wolves eat pizza as well?
Gabriel was paid for his delivery, but the payment he got wasn't exactly what he hoped for, because for all his efforts, the man was rewarded with a lizard... and a world expecting a little too much from him than he was comfortable with.
Gabe will find himself in a different world, a world from which all Earth's current problems stem and a world to which he has more ties than he was ever told.
Will Gabriel and his lizard survive in a world so hell-bent on getting them to follow its rules, or will they die defying them? Follow their adventures on Alter, where elves, dwarves, orcs, and many more races share their existence with those of Spirits. Whether they like it or not.
Chapter release is 1 chapter a day, from Monday to Friday.
Release time 09:00 PM UTC
This series is being posted on Scribblehub as well.
ATTENTION, This story starts slowly. If you are not in for a low ramp-up in tensions and want all of the secrets of the world right away, this story is not for you.
With this story, I wanted to write something that felt at least probable, not the usual: man appears in a new world, everyone helps him, and he's fit and ready for the job!
Gabriel will need time to adapt to his new reality, as you'll definitely notice in the first chapters. However, when the action hits, it hits hard.
Something to know about me? I'm Italian. Thus, English is not my main language. If you find errors, please point them out before berating me. It would help me greatly.
What else? Oh, right.
I love foreshadowing and Chekhov's guns (it should be clear by my avatar, I'm a One Piece lover, so I've learned from the best); you'll find a lot of those in my novels. So keep your notes to check for them, and don't forget to eat as much pizza as you can while you do!
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I really want to like this. The litrpg functionality, the magic system, how the world functions, all of that is pretty interesting. But the plot, characters, and their actions tend to shoot for the moon and stumble in the process.
While you typically want to avoid big exposition dumps, there is a severe lack of exposition which is also bad. The main character, and by extension the audience, has no idea how things function or what is going on most of the story. And it comes off in a way that is completely arbitrary. Want to understand what the details in the status window mean? How about big important words like "Herald" that constantly come up in conversation? Well too bad. You're going to have to wait dozens of chapters for even basic information like this to be explained. And there's no good reason for it beyond, "because." I made it 26 chaps in and we're still getting drip fed the most basic of information.
The plot I can somewhat forgive for the grandiose ambitions and scope. Several characters being common archetypes from japanese light novels is annoying, but not every single character is so not a total deal breaker. But the characters overall don't seem to make much sense in how they talk and the actions they take. Which is a big problem.
The characters don't seem to act naturally or consistently. They come across as set pieces that act according to what the author needs at the moment to move the plot forward, not what makes sense. Characters will be unhelpful for no reason in one scene, then helpful in the next depending on what the story needs. The grammar doesn't help. It comes off as oddly stilted and confusing at times to where I often reread what someone said and I'm still left confused.
We get POVs of powerful characters, and the reasons given for why they do or do not do things seem flimsy at best. And the conversations between everyone all seem extra adversarial and have the snark dialed up to 11 all the time. Snark and teasing can be fun, but it more comes off as them all just being constant jerks to each other. All while not managing to nail any of the humor it seems to be going for. His own spirit attacks him almost every single page and it's not funny so much as it is tiresome.
The MC's habit of constantly commenting on the tits and how hot every woman he comes across is super annoying. I'm a guy, but even I don't need the MC going on about "mature beauties" or great bodies or tits all the time. Dial it wayyy back.
The action scenes are generally not very interesting or fun. But action scenes are hard to get right even when written by accomplished authors, so this is fairly excusable even if I wish it were better.
I'd say this has some promising ideas. But I'd consider this a first draft with a lot of revisions and editing needed.
Basically, you have absolutely no idea what's going on. There's a lot of info, but nothing which explains anything clearly. The MC seems to be working in a pizza shop with his mother and a worker soon to quit. The shop is busy and there are people who doesn't come on busy days. He gets a delivery and goes to some grand manor which has a Grove. Then he gets transported to some place, meets more characters (the hotness of the girls, their tit size etc would he described in great detail) sees magic working, waked up in an inn and goes hunting. He seems to be native american too. So where is he? Whats the place about? What's the church being spoken of in the synopsis? What is the herald? What is it that the people in the place do? Why do they have spirits? Lots of unanswered questions needing lots of editing to get straight.
The synopsis seems to mention that the plot is very large, but it hasn't been explored in detail at all.
The positive would be the scope and in general the system. Future development too, if it happens.
Review as of chapter 30.
I started reading this novel considering it just another litRPG; what i found was actually quite fresh and ejoyable
The characters are actually well written and have the right amount of depht to them.
The plot is complex and is being reveald at the right pace.
The writing style is easy to understand and flows quite well, and i couldn't fnd errors.
To any reading this review come and gobble this story up! Well i totally did up till now.
p.s. cominciare una storia in pizzeria è il massimo! ;)
I'm up-to-date with the story so far. It just started but the premise is really good.
First time I find myself to read about something related to native american culture and religion that makes it for the title.
I'll give advanced review when the story keeps on, for now, i can say you give it a try and it will be worth your time.
Although it has a lot of anticipation por.n Herald for Spirits is a story worth reading. It has excellent grammar, story and world-building, it also has its own style is full of humour and has me waiting for the next chapter everyday. So read it! Damn it needs 50 words to post the review.