Demon King's end (Inactive)
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During the beginning, only 4 beings roam the Earth. These beings were called entities, and they watch the Earth for eons. As the earth develop more creatures started to appear. The earliest humans discover these beings and worship them as gods. Curious the entities chose to live amongst the humans and protected them from all danger. Civil war broke out among the gods. A few entities were overcome by greed and wanted to rule the entire world for themselves. The war almost destroy the earth itself, realizing this the entities banished themselves from earth, and made a pact to never directly interfere with the world again. A new entity was born from the corruption that drove the gods into a civil war. The creature slowly corrupted lifeforms around the planet making them give in to their inner demon. The entity was simply called the Demon king. Unable to directly interfere the gods created a weapon that was capable of killing the being. The weapon was called Excalibur only a hero could wield it. After a fierce battle the hero defeated the demon King, but they soon realize that it is capable of coming back. A tradition was created, a champion will be pick to wield Excalibur and fight the reborn Demon lord. Centuries later.. The Demon King always come back and the hero always win but the devastation that the demon lord cause was always too great for the battle to ever be called a victory. Now the demon king is back again and as always the hero is there to stop him, but this time the story is different.
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The story seems to have much potential, and I'm a fan of these kinds of stories about the villain. However, the grammar absolutely slaughters it.
Style: I'm dropping this like a rock because of the terrible grammar, that I'll go over later.
Story: Having survived my way through most of the chapters, I can say that there is definitely thought going into every move made by each character, and I appreciate that. Good job.
There are few spelling errors, that's good.
The punctuation, sentence structuring, flow, idea mapping, word placement, redundancy, all of that is absolutely miserable. Very poor. Also, bear in mind that I'm likely the most cynical grammar reviewer on this site.
Character: Mysterious. However, this mystery seems less like the "you'll find out later" kind of mystery and more like the "we'll find out later" type of mystery, where the author is riding by the seat of their pants on this aspect. The characters are good, but I am concerned about how they'll be developed in the future.
The story is nice with a little twist to the reincarnation scenario. The characters don’t have paper thin forgettable personalities, and can be easily related to. The story is going at a good pace, but sometimes random chapters appear with random people, who sometimes I can’t keep track of. The other concern I have is with your grammar. Either you should work on improving it, or get a proof reader. I ,myself, am not a native English speaker, so I can understand the problems you may have. But still you should get a proof reader, it’ll improve your story a lot, and it’ll make my life easier too, cause I get more irritated with every mistake that I read.
25 chapters in and the story seems really interesting so far, (slight spoiler inc) I'm a bit pisses her brother almost gets her killed or worse and then right after she's saved he immediately goes back to try the same thing again which this time luckily seems to be stopped.
The only other problem so far is the grammar and i think this story would have a lot more viewers if you managed to get a proofreader. Still the story is definitely readable but it could improve slightly.
PS: more "cringy" stuff from chapter 20 is always appreciated :o I feel like this type of stuff would definitely come up if someone were to change gender like this especially during that age I'd probably expect even more serious stuff.
Overall thank you very much for writing this novel it is a pleasure to read.
Up to Chapter 33, might contain minor spoilers.
First off, I'd like to say in the beginning, I know the Demon King felt like toying with the great Hero, but the fight, in my opinion, was very anti-climatic. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading this thus far, and I could definitely name a couple recommendations, but what you're currently continuing on the story isn't bad at all.
Style - I'd say the style is noticeable, and very attractive, but still needs a tad bit more work on the most part.
Story - It's interesting to see people mix the standard story of anything into something almost entirely different. I love to see the Demon King, the Entity of Corruption take form as a little girl named Anna, and not focusing on her past power because it's risky. Her personality, of which I hope, will turn a bit sweeter to her brother, or I wonder how he himself will turn out.
Grammar - Your grammar does, indeed, need work, but if you're willing to put in the effort to fix it, then do so. If not, you may contact an editor, or request for one in an A/N. I've seen some words that don't go in place whatsoever, some Is not capitalized, but I can easily deal with it when I'm reading such a great story.
Character - The way I see it, the thing that stands out the most often in this story are the characters. Do not expect any character, even a sideline one, to have the same personality as another, even when it's just a simple sentence to multiple chapters of dialogue. This creates the remembrance of characters, such as Arron, Claire, even Cain. I remember these characters because they weren't dolls, they had a personality.
Overall, this story is VERY enjoyable to me, and I'd love to see you continue it. I usually check for a new chapter twice a day on my phone, and if you ever decide to reach out for an editor, I could potentially help, as I wouldn't mind helping out a mind to a great story. Good luck, Rookie.
hmm enjoyable story i liked it and i hope you will continiue to work hard for sake of you readers :D
!!!!!!!!! keep up the good work
I ended up dropping this story just when I reached chapter 36.
I was really apprehensive on reading this because of all the reviews talking about the grammar. Now that I have read it, I can state my opinion on it. The grammar isn't really that bad. It really only is the first 2 chapters with any issues.
Really, Issues I had with the story mostly comes down to three things.
1. The plot with the new hero and the Alexander dude. Just not liking it and I've never been fans of organization type groups plotting things in stories.
2. That the people that find out about the MC don't really care. It is really lackluster such as the parents finding out
3. How the Demon King is a one of the rulers of sort, Yet he can come across as a bit childish in how he acts and a lot of the time he acts just like a moody teenage girl and not what you'de think a being that has lived for who knows how long would act. It can also be kind of annoying seeing the MC lacking in power since they were originally the most powerful being on the planet. If the story was just about a girl adventuring then I doubt I'd really care
The story still managed to keep me entertained for a bit. The only reason I am dropping it is because the story has come to a really slow pace and a bit repetitive seeing the MC deal with the party members. That also reminds me that I am not a fan of the Brother and would've liked to see the MC lone wolfing it more.
Overall the story is alright. I am planning on reading the remake of it that the author has up.
I just hope it won't end hero/demon lord pairing :)
Love the story. The side characters are pretty fleshed out compared to other stories on RRL and the mc is an enjoyable and Badass character. And the grammar and dialogue have no problems as far as I've come across. The only real problem I have is that the story comes at a fairly random and slow pace which kind of makes me a little impatient. Other than that keep up the good work author, loving the mc the most. She's totally badass.
The Story – I is great and told from a unique perspective. It’s neat to see the demon king of all people to be put on the gender-bender spot instead of the hero. Sometimes its down right funny too! The story also has plenty of action to go along with it. Overall The story and plot is very enjoyable.
Characters- You see both the main and the side characters grow slowly but surely. It’s not instant like a lot of other novels. So far you see the characters slowly changing over time. This to me feels more natural. I will not go any further on the characters because I do not want to spoil this story.
Grammar- Its got its fair share of mistakes but its okay. The Author is improving more and more each chapter.
What is a major plus to me is that the chapters are fairly regular it isn’t dropped like so many other novels on RR. So if you like a good story than give it a try!