Salvos (A Monster Evolution LitRPG)

Salvos (A Monster Evolution LitRPG)

by MelasD

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Traumatising content

Follow the evolution of a Demon girl as she learns to survive in a fantasy world!

The life of an Infant Demon is a bloody grind to the top. For Salvos, a curious newborn Demon with a penchant for making friends, surviving the swarms of wild Demons in the Netherworld was always going to be a difficult task. She will adapt, gain experience, and evolve to survive this hellish landscape with the help of her sole companion.

But when her companion's life is threatened by a mysterious Demon King, she'll have to do what it takes to save him. Even if it means separating from him and being tossed into an unfamiliar world with Humans, monsters, and a bright blue sky where she is scorned for being born a Demon.

However, the law of evolution is survival of the fittest, and no matter where she is, Salvos will survive.

Do note that it's a slow-paced but action-packed litrpg!

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Salvos Vol. 1 is also available as an Audiobook on Audible!

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Copyright © 2020 MelasD

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MelasD

MelasD

Overpromises, Underdelivers. Professional Zoomer. Also, I write stuff sometimes.

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Table of Contents
443 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Art Gallery ago
0. Advent ago
1. Rocks ago
2. The Others ago
3. Learning Experience ago
4. Magic Attack ago
5. Not Like Me ago
6. Red Fire ago
7. Rest ago
8. Lesser Demon ago
Poll: Which blurb is the best? ago
9. Evolution ago
10. Gratitude ago
11. My Companion ago
12. Two of Us ago
13. Awesome! ago
14.1. Wolves? ago
14.2. Wolves? ago
15.1. An Attack ago
15.2. An Attack ago
16. Not Rocks ago
17.1. ??? ago
17.2. ??? ago
18. Hazelbury ago
19.1. Adventurers Guild ago
19.2. Adventurers Guild ago
20. Temple ago
21.1. Ashes. Lots of Ashes. ago
21.2. Ashes. Lots of Ashes. ago
22. Recognition ago
23. Unwarranted Attack ago
24.1. Divvying Loot ago
24.2. Divvying Loot ago
25. Dialogue and Preparation ago
26.1. Spirits ago
26.2. Spirits ago
27. Are You Evil? ago
28.1. Liar Liar, I Make Fire ago
28.2. Liar Liar, I Make Fire ago
29. Silkfall's Crevice ago
30.1. Screech ago
30.2. Screech ago
Poll: Volume 1 Title ago
Poll: LAST TITLE POLL ago
31.1. Grinding and Learning ago
31.2. Grinding and Learning ago
32. Monster Lair ago
"Salvos: Vol. 1, Curious Beginnings" NOW LIVE ON AMAZON KINDLE! (Read up to Chapter 40 for $2.99!) ago
33. Led into a Trap ago
34. Centinels ago
35.1. Blame ago
35.2. Blame ago
36.1. City Under Attack ago
36.2. City Under Attack ago
37. Race to Silvergrove ago
38. Reunion ago
Poll: Cover Art ago
39. Lament of Lucerna ago
40. Survivor (End of Volume 1) ago
41. Daniel's Dilemma (Start of Volume 2) ago
42. Journey Back ago
43.1. Adventurer ago
43.2. Adventurer ago
44. Weird Human Things ago
45.1. Emotions and Stuff ago
45.2. Emotions and Stuff ago
46. Gold Rank ago
47.1. New and Familiar ago
47.2. New and Familiar ago
48. Testing Out Skills ago
49. Ignition ago
50. Hardest Hurdle ago
51. Centinels Camp ago
52. Expanding Vocab— Uh... Inventory? ago
53.1. Escort ago
53.2. Escort ago
54.1. Noble ago
54.2. Noble ago
Important Patreon Poll (Please Respond Honestly) ago
55.1. Crest ago
55.2. Crest ago
Announcement: Patreon Update (Follow up to the poll) ago
56. Human ago
57. Breaking In ago
58. Cultists ago
59. Ignavare ago
60.1. Rachel ago
60.2. Rachel ago
61. Double Battle ago
62. Bounty Hunters ago
63. Revealing Secrets ago
64. Harrowed Vindicators ago
65. Eye for an Eye ago
66. Princess ago
67. Road Trip ago
68. Viechester ago
69. Cringe ago
70. Summoning Ritual ago
Side Story 1: Survival of the Fittest ago
71. Minor Harassments ago
72. Caught! ago
73. Going on a Trip ago
74. Trial of Fire ago
75. Giant Ape ago
76. Refinement ago
77. Finally! ago
78. Drakes ago
79. Sleep Sucks! ago
80. Nightmare ago
81. Brilsum Ruins ago
82. Return ago
83. Observations ago
84. Doing Bad Things ago
85. Stampede ago
86. The Inner City ago
87.1. Cultist Scheme ago
87.2. Cultist Scheme ago
88. Minotaurs Found! ago
89.1. Seeing the Light ago
89.2. Seeing the Light ago
90. Burning with Excitement ago
91. Company War ago
92.1. A Nice Feeling ago
92.2. A Nice Feeling ago
93. Stand and Fight ago
94. Declaration and Introduction ago
95.1. Faith ago
95.2. Faith ago
96. Siege ago
A Demon's Pride: Salvos Volume 2 is now live on Amazon! ago
97. Found ago
98. Escape ago
99. Prejudice ago
100. Contract (End of Volume 2) ago
101. Consequences (Start of Volume 3) ago
102. An Offer ago
103. Compromising! ago
Announcement ago
104. Fancy Disguise ago
105. Heathens ago
106. Vampires ago
107. Apologies ago
108. Crossing Borders ago
???. A Witch and a Demon walk into a... ago
109. Big and Scary Demon ago
110. Blight ago
111. Spooky Skeletons ago
112. Plaguelands ago
113. Experiments ago
114. Ghostlight ago
115. Depth ago
116. Lost... ago
117. Xidra the [Herbalist] ago
118. The Scale Guard ago
Reminder for this week ago
119. Unarith ago
120. Shopping! ago
121. Diviner ago
122. Helping Hand ago
123. Alex Cromerth, Member of the Vaun Qiuer Empire’s Elite Swordsguard Forces ago
124. Combination ago
125. Edithe's Enterprise ago
Announcement: Salvos Vol. 1 now available as an audiobook! Also, graduating today! ago
126. Interloot ago
127. SPEED ago
128. Catching Up ago
129. Reckless ago
130. Blanket ago
131. Zombie Horde ago
132. Seeking Help ago
133. Blessing ago
134. Overzealous ago
135. Northeast... or Southwest? ago
136. Growth ago
137. Straight Down ago
138. Haunt ago
139. The Hero ago
140. Skills and Stuff ago
141. Pricks ago
142. Myths ago
143. Chains ago
144. The Truth ago
145. Revelations ago
146. Apocalypse ago
147. Trial of the Scales ago
148. Darkening Horizons ago
149. Dragonet ago
150. What an Idiot ago
151. The Next Step ago
152. A Dime a Dozen ago
153.1. Partial Mortality ago
153.2. Partial Mortality ago
154.1. Blaze of Glory ago
154.2. Blaze of Glory ago
155.1. Wishful Thinking ago
155.2. Wishful Thinking ago
Salvos Volume 3 now available on Amazon! ago
156. Weak Hero ago
157. Frozen ago
158. Mad ago
159. A Heroic Act ago
160. Lilian, My Lilian ago
161. Self-Destructive ago
162. It's Coming Home! ago
163. Proudly Awake ago
164. Cathartic ago
165. Companion Construction ago
166. Knock Knock ago
167.1. Who's There? ago
167.2. Who's There? ago
168.1. Nobody ago
168.2. Nobody (End of V3) ago
169. The Return (Start of Volume 4) ago
170. Lily the Fairy ago
171. Fairing Well ago
172. Cosmic Compression ago
173. Remembrance ago
174. Attacked Again ago
175. Mavos Academy ago
176. Facade ago
177. Interlude - Daniel's Debate ago
178. Surprise ago
179. Mountain Island ago
180. Centinels are Crap ago
181. Friendship! ago
182.1. Personal Statement ago
182.2. Personal Statement ago
183.1. Orientation ago
183.2. Orientation ago
184. First Day! ago
185. Aspiring Elites ago
186. Alchemy ago
187. Tiring Learning ago
188.1. Interlude - Edithe's Emancipation ago
188.2. Interlude - Edithe's Emancipation ago
189. Office and Library ago
190. A Mistake ago
191.1. Facts Don't Care About Your Feelings ago
191.2. Facts Don't Care About Your Feelings ago
192. And Pride ago
193. Empathy? Or...? ago
194. Missive ago
195. Pot and Kettle ago
196. Naive? ago
197.1. Failure ago
197.2. Failure ago
198. Forgetting ago
199. Class ago
200. Surprise Present! ago
200 Special: Side Character Popularity Poll! ago
201. Elf Attack ago
202. Interlude - Daniel's Demand ago
203. Stupid Stuff ago
204. Fancily Dressed ago
205. Date ago
206. Cleaning Up ago
207. Break Time! ago
208. Rainforest of Monsters ago
209. Raining ago
210. Commune ago
211. Monster Mindset ago
212. Stonefort Labyrinth Dungeon ago
213. Wild ago
214. Enigmatic Heart ago
215. Interlude - Edithe's Evolution Part 1 ago
216. Interlude - Edithe's Evolution Part 2 ago
217. Back to Studying ago
218. Smart Salvos ago
219. Tutor ago
220. Reputation ago
221. Saffron's Sanity ago
222. Lair Tour ago
223. Portals! ago
224. He's Back ago
225. Trickery ago
226. Deal with the Devil ago
227. Mentor ago
228. Sal ago
229. Father ago
230. Oneself ago
231. Interlude - Daniel's Devices Part 1 ago
232. Interlude - Daniel's Devices Part 2 ago
233. Tournament ago
234. Potion of Regeneration ago
235. Time for the Finale ago
236. Interlude - Edithe's Evolution Part 3 ago
237. Interlude - Edithe's Evolution Part 4 ago
238. Interlude - Edithe's Evolution Part 5 ago
Double Announcement ago
239. Interlude - Edithe's Evolution Part 6 ago
240. Promises Kept ago
241. Nightsveil Part 1 ago
Another Announcement ago
242. Nightsveil Part 2 ago
243. Nightsveil Part 3 ago
244. Nightsveil Part 4 ago
Commenting Rules and Etiquette ago
245. Nightsveil Part 5 (End of Volume 4) ago
246. Begin (Start of Volume 5) ago
247. Accretion ago
Have art ago
248. Savior ago
Quick little COVID update ago
249. Beastmen ago
250. ---- Boulder ago
251. Distortion ago
252. Pebbles ago
253. Height of Hubris ago
254. Law of the Netherworld ago
255. Interlude - Saffron's Scripture ago
256. Don't Die ago
257. Bloodied Gulf ago
258. Evolved ago
259. Dissected Paths ago
260. Advancing ago
261. The Devil's Apprentice ago
262. Warped Time ago
263. Potential ago
264. Cornucopia ago
265. Changing ago
266. It Leveled Up ago
267. Interlude - Edithe's Explanation Part 1 ago
268. Interlude - Edithe's Explanation Part 2 ago
269. Titan ago
Quick update + HERE IS THE SURPRISE ago
270. Hidden Haven ago
271. Trapped? Wait... ago
New cover + very quick update ago
272. Neat Trick ago
273. Willy ago
274. Risk and Reward ago
275. Interlude - Daniel's Desire Part One ago
276. Interlude - Daniel's Desire Part Two ago
277. Centina ago
278. Planning an Escape ago
279. Calm ago
280. Storm ago
281. Cleansing ago
Salvos Volume 3's audiobook is now available on audible! ago
282. Protector of the Haven ago
283. The Fittest ago
Official Salvos Merchandise! ago
284. Invincible ago
285. Remembrance ago
286. Rematch ago
287. Despair Part One ago
288. Despair Part Two ago
289. Despair Part Three (End of Volume 5 Part 1) ago
290. Interlude - Saffron's Savior Part One (Start of Volume 5 Part 2) ago
291. Interlude - Saffron's Savior Part Two ago
Salvos Volume 5 Part 1: Corruption and Centinels is now available on Amazon! ago
292. Interlude - Saffron's Savior Part Three ago
293. Father and Daughter ago
294. Pink ago
295. Sentinel ago
296. A Demon, Two Monsters, and a Spirit Walk into a Town ago
297. A Demon, Two Monsters, and a Spirit Walk into the Adventurers Guild... ago
298. Edithe's Elaboration Part One ago
299. Interlude - Edithe's Elaboration Part Two ago
300. Return to Mavos Academy ago
Chapter 300 Special: Salvos Side Character Popularity Poll 2 ago
301. Divine ago
302. First Impressions ago
303. Repair ago
304. Interlude - Daniel's Destiny Part One ago
305. Interlude - Daniel's Destiny Part Two ago
306. Interlude - Daniel's Destiny Part Three ago
307. Interlude - Daniel's Destiny Part Four ago
308. Aftermath ago
309. Save the Princess ago
310. The Emperor ago
311. Emperor's Explanation ago
312. Saving the [Hero] ago
313. Vanity ago
314. Grace ago
315. Catching Up ago
316. Interlude - Belzu's Blessing ago
317. Back to Shedos ago
318. Time for a Talk ago
319. Faith's Formidability ago
320. Daniel's Depth ago
321. Interlude - Saffron's Struggle Part One ago
322. Interlude - Saffron's Struggle Part Two ago
323. Interlude - Saffron's Struggle Part Three ago
324. Interlude - Saffron's Struggle Part Four ago
325. Payment ago
326. Given ago
Salvos GERMAN Translation is OFFICIALLY Available! ago
327. Misplaced Confidence ago
328. Triple Confrontation ago
329. Hasty Preparation ago
330. Likes and Dislikes ago
331. Weirdo ago
332. Aerial Battle, Ground Zero ago
333. Battlefield ago
334. Wyverns Dead ago
335. Interlude - Edithe's Embarrassment ago
336. Get Good ago
337. Weird Woman ago
338. Lonely Princess ago
339. Clone Convalescence ago
340. Clone Combat ago
341. Champion Part One ago
342. Champion Part Two ago
343. Champion Part Three ago
344. Champion Part Four ago
345. Champion Part Five (End of Volume 5 Part Two) ago
346. Willy's Will (Start of Volume 5 Part 3) ago
347. Edithe's Elation ago
348. Companion Reunion ago
349. Feast ago
350. City Destruction ago
351. Rematch of Pride ago
352. Being Saved ago
353. Succumbing to Corruption ago
354. Explaining Stuff and Other Boring Stuff ago
355. Difficult Choices ago
356. Interlude - Belzu's Bane ago
Grand Skill: Book 6 is now available on Amazon! Give it a buy and a review to support me! ago
357. Grudge ago
358. The Scheme ago
New fic announcement: Violet (Not a chapter) ago
359. Sickleshade Valley ago
360. Oddities ago
361. Afraid ago
362. Last Resort ago
363. Purpose Served ago
364. Ripples ago
365. Vain ago
366. Insect ago
367. Weaknesses and Strengths ago
368. Portal ago
369. Back in Time ago
370. Intuition ago
371. Hunch ago
372. The Search ago
373. Empathy, Probably ago
374. Predator ago
375. Not So Wild ago
376. Wisdom ago
377. Manifestation of the Old Gods ago
Not A Chapter: Some Introspection After A Year of Full-time Writing ago
378. Overly Sensitive ago

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PiMs
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Non-Reincarnation Demon LitRPG

Reviewed at: 9. Evolution

Unlike other non-human stories where the MC is a human in a non-human body, Salvos starts off from a [Demon Larvae] in a very similar style to "Kumo Desu ga, Nani ka?". We get to see Salvos learn how to demon, and the story has an interesting concept on demons of all varieties and their lifecycle and evolutions. Would recommend checking out if you have a soft spot for non-human progressions, demons, litRPG. Doubly recommend if you have read "Kumo Desu ga, Nani ka?" and enjoyed it, although it is not the same, it reminds me greatly of it.

The first few chapters are mostly about Salvos figuring things out, along with a bunch of action scenes. We get different types of adversaries thrown at her. Presumably, once Salvos evolves we will get to the main plot. (Will update when more chapters are released)

We get to see little bits of Salvos' personality (and others') as the story progresses, even in the larvae form. Characters feel distinctive, which is always a plus in my books.

No grammar mistakes that I've noticed, and style reads smoothly. A first person perspective written in a way that properly conveys the MC's mental state. Author uses various methods of emphasis to good effect, especially in the fight scenes.

Kazmuth
Overall

The author does a well paced job of slowly letting the characters change and adapt to their circumstance, as shown through the actions they take and their interactions rather than explicitly telling us what has changed. 

The story also has a lot of dry humor that left me with a smirk while reading and the occasional chuckle. The author is also adept at writing out fight scenes in a way that I can understand what's happening without knowing every single movement or twist that happens throughout in an overwhelming fashion. 

I highly would recommend reading it and giving it the chance to grow on you. Accept the story for what it is, and that it went perfectly lined up with what you want to happen. These are flawed characters, and that is what makes watching them grow so much more enjoyable

AqueousSolution
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Salvos is a LitRPG Monster Evolution story. However, it is also so much more than that. It's a story of triumphant friendship and tragic loss, of ferocious battle and a world at war. Above all, this is a story about Salvos, a demonic changeling stranded in a land far from the hellish plane she calls home.

The characters breathe life into this story. There is a huge cast of unique and complex people who have been introduced so far, and their interactions are great. I appreciate all the exposition done for even the most minor characters, it really makes the story much more impactful.

The light, often comedic style complements Salvos's personality, while contrasting her behavior with that of humans quite often. Perspective changes are used skillfully to show important events happening, as this story is so expansive that if things don't get mentioned in some way when they happen, nobody will even realize that they happened.

It's hard to talk about story without spoiling parts of the book, but I can say that it's done well. 

The overarching plot is an invasion into the human world by demons, an apocalyptic occurence. This spawns so many related plot threads that even now, 368 chapters into the story, the invasion has still yet to begin. However, a bunch of progress has been made, and the story is moving along at quite a good pace. 

I haven't noticed any technical or formatting errors, the grammar is good, as is spelling. Particularly, the LitRPG system messages are done quite well, it's very understandable, with much less clutter and bloat than I'm used to.

I want to share my thoughts about this story, even if I'm just screaming into the void. If anyone is reading this, I do hope you enjoy Salvos as much as I am. Have a nice day!

Cocop (Cale Plamann)
Overall

I'm a sucker for monster evolution stories, and this is a good addition ot the genre.  Its a bit slower than I'm used to, replacing the dopemine rush of constant level/evolution ups with a more character heavy focus.

Frankly? I think it's a breath of fresh air.  Salvos is a curious demon trying to understand a new world with no prior knowledge, and I find her struggles to define herself both emotionally and physically an interesting counterpoint to the usual blue screens and combat skills (which are still there).

The only downside is that its short.  Well worth a read.

Epikos
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

First review on this site. Definitely deserves it.

Reviewed at: 40. Survivor (End of Volume 1)

Hello! I've been part of this site for a couple of years now, but I've only gotten more involved in LitRPG just recently. I'm fairly picky as a reader, especially since I've spent a lot of time writing and crafting my own works. And most stories I've read are either trad-published or from manga.

So, officially, this is my first review, and I hope this lifts the author's day when they get a chance to see this.

I want to start by saying that the most trouble I've found reading this work is some of the commenters. There is something that could be understood when a commenter is fairly disagreeable, but then there is less to be said toward those who take their disagreeableness to toxic levels. Overall, I appreciate how the author handles these comments. Showing grit when other authors would've lost their temper or give up. 

I understand a lot of us readers are wishful thinkers. We believe that we have the best answers for every scenario. We want to fully invest ourselves (or replace the MC with ourselves) so that everything goes close to perfect unless faced with opposition way too outstanding. But there's something to be said about following a character who's less than perfect and has to struggle their way through their inherent weaknesses.

I honestly like a little bit of both. In this work, Salvos shows a child-like curiosity that's a joy to follow. She makes foolish mistakes in social settings, but that's to be expected. But she makes very great tactically decisions when up in a fight, decisions that can overcome even the greatest of odds, and the odds set against her are quite enormous from the very start to the finish. The author does a great job balancing Salvos' weaknesses and strengths, making her a fully realized, fully believable MC.

I'll like to talk more about that, but let me hit some other points quickly.

Style is a five because it works. It fits the author's voice. And it's never too purple, but some segments are quite pretty. I would suggest that the author uses more dialogue tags to make it easier for readers to identify who's speaking quickly. But that's about it.

Grammar is a five because there weren't many mistakes that interrupted my reading. If there were, the author quickly fixes them. Good job author, you did better than most in this section because there are way too many stories that are hard to read here, and the authors don't fix their mistakes.

Story score is a give because each segment of Salvos's story kept me engaged. From the start in the demon world to the end. I noticed that the author used specific story structuring techniques to set up the ending from the very beginning of the story. Kudos to you, author. You've must have been studying the craft, or you've picked it up intuitively from what you've read. It's not a bad thing that I notice--like I said above, I'm a writer myself--so for me, seeing you pull off good craft is a treat.

The character score is a five, of course. I'm glad to return to this subject because I find the MC's companions interesting. The development that they underwent to not only trust Salvos but to befriend her was sweet. I also enjoyed Salvos's gradual development of understanding human emotions and try to mimic them. It's great that she's learning to mimic rather than go straight into having human emotions already. I really appreciate how you're slowly building this rather than jumping straight into it. You show her mistakes and have her learn. One of my favorite scenes that I enjoy was how she learned about lying and tried to use it and it had me laughing. I also loved how she learned the "WEAK SPOT" and used it to get her point across. Although aggressive, it plays to her demon side, which was really appropriate.

Anyway, with all of that said, I think you're doing good work here.

Also, when I do launch and do my own thing, if I ever reach the success where I can submit to Amazon, you've inspired me not to be Amazon exclusive. While you may lose out on money, I think you gain a lot more in other ways, which is why I really wanted to write you this review and hope that it helps in some way. And I'll be purchasing and submitting this review through Amazon as well.

You deserve it. Don't let the nasty commenters get you down. And please keep on writing.

 

Sincerely,

Epikos

OriginalName3
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Good, but something needs to change

Reviewed at: 168.1. Nobody

This is a great story. The characters are all interesting and the grammar is great but there is one galaring problem and that is the main character herself. While her naivety and bluntness were fun for a while I slowly began to notice myself skipping past her dialogue and antics as time went on. She never changes and she rarely faces consequences for her actions. Instead the people around her are punished and she could care less.

 

Now the author tries to play her off as eccentric but intelligent yet the more I read the less it makes sense for the character (to me at least) that she suddenly swaps from having no idea what the hell is happening to a tactical mastermind.

 

The character goes from funny to annoying around the 50th chapter and it just keeps getting worse. I implore the author to bite the bullet and kill a main character because Salvos needs to change and this is the only way it would make sense for it to happen in the story. Her obsession with being a princess was funny for until the author continued to (and still does) hammer the same joke into everyone’s skull. Running jokes can be funny but when the same ones are used in almost every chapter they quickly become infuriating.

 

Daniel and Edith are better characters in every way imaginable. Their backstories interesting, their motivations are stronger than “I want to save the friend I barely knew!”, they actually acknowledge their flaws and actively try to improve themselves. Salvos on the other hand only has one of these things going for her. The Netherworld and her birth are very interesting and the situation as to how she ended up trapped outside of the Netherworld is interesting as well. But unlike her companions she never grows as a character, refuses to acknowledge both her flaws and weaknesses, is incredibly naive, and extremely prideful.

 

I understand why many people like her character but I’m at the point where I can’t stay invested in the story anymore because I find the MC infuriating. I’d recommend this book if you don’t care about character development all that much but if that’s something you like the just move on to something like “The Prefect Run”.

pysel
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This is pulls me in so much with every chapter.

Reviewed at: 163. Proudly Awake

I really really love this. I like the plot and the characters so much. Especially salvos and Daniel. Is it weird that I'm shipping them?(pls don't trash me). And I miss Haec. I can't wait for the next chapters.

The pacing of the story is just right for me. The grinding, their banter, the occasional chuckles. the adventure, the lesson etc. I can see the characters individual thoroughly. Like for every word, every sentence, and phrase, I can guess who's speaking. I don't really know how to explain it. I binge-read this for about 2-3 days and honestly the 200+ aren't enough. I want more. Give me more. 

Ps. 

I really love Daniel and salvos and I wish to see a speck of romance spark between them. But uh well, if the story wouldn't go that way, I love it nonetheless. I would love to get a chapter about Haec. I wonder how he's doing. Or is he even alive. 

Hope the author's doin well. 

Pps. I can't get my review above 200 words and I don't know what to say. It's not working. Why is it not 200 words. Isn't my review a whole essay now? I swear I thought I wrote above 300 words.

 

 

 

gregarity
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

It's... fine. I've enjoyed having this as something to read when I don't have the mental energy for something more complex. It's the literary equivalent of watching TV. Don't get me wrong, that's nice sometimes, but there's nothing special here. I won't remember this in a year.

It's got more sustain than many stories I've read in the progression fantasy genre. The pacing still suffers in the way that most all web fiction does, but for some reason I haven't gotten too bored after almost 150 chapters. It's long. There's a lot of it. I like that aspect.

I don't care much for the characters. The MC isn't very complex, on purpose, which sometimes works very nicely as a foil to the wider world (I wish this concept was explored more rather than hinted at), but often just leaves me wanting a little more depth. Her main companion is a bit of a sad fellow. He's not very motivated by anything, constantly doubts himself, and hasn't seen much character growth. C'mon author, you could make this a proper hypersigil real easily ;) Or at least one that does more than reinforce existing conditions.

There are very few typos. The overall writing style is fine. It neither elevates nor detracts from the story.

The plot is not particularly compelling. I am not confident in my own abilities as an author or critic, so I cannot say why, but I would guess that it's because it feels haphazard and without real stakes. One thing happens, then the next. Level up! Some of the characters express more emotion than in the usual story of this genre, I appreciate this greatly. But I want to see more! Higher highs and lower lows. Development in actual wisdom, not just [Wisdom].

I read the writing advice once that a good story needs not one, but three compelling ideas. This had one, in Hegel, but it was only shallowly referenced (repeatedly) until it became background noise.

Overall, if you're looking to fill time, give it a shot. Right now it's topwebfiction #1 for a reason. I won't recommend this to any of my friends.

Lonahora
Overall

It’s probably a better story than my rating implies, but from my perspective it gets boring real fast.

The beginning is generic powerup chapters to draw readership. I gave it the benefit of the doubt, as I do with every LITRPG, but it turned out as I already stated. So, in terms of system, it fails in my books (there are more reasons for that), but not the worst I’ve encountered and to many readers might be appealing.

Characters are alright. Not bad. Actually, pretty great, but I personally don’t feel like we have chemistry. The MC seems to grow very slowly and is quite amusing. Side character aren’t one dimensional, but nothing new in a fantasy setting – still well-written.

Although I don’t find the plot interesting, it’s fairly logical - a rare accomplishment.

MidNightWriter24
Overall

I rated this four and a half stars because the worldbuilding is great, we slowly get introduced to it instead of a info-dump, there are only minor typos, and I like our demon MC. She doesn't 'become human' all at once, the author slowly develops her character adding in more human emotions along the way. You should definitely give it a read if you enjoy stories with fantasy themes!