Dungeon Item Shop
(I was reborn too sickly to be an adventurer, so I opened an item shop by the dungeon instead)
Reborn with a new name and body into a fantastical RPG world, a young girl is offered a second chance. Glad to have escaped her old existence she decides to become an adventurer but quickly realizes that the body she now inhabits is too frail and sickly to follow that dream. Needing a way to survive in this strange place, she takes on an entirely new challenge; running an item shop just outside of the dungeon!
(LitRPG) (Slow start)
[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
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When it comes to this story, the first 24 chapters are a grind, things are starting to move forward after this point, with nearly everything coming before seemingly being the prologue and creating the setting and motives. In a world where stats really matter, having an Mc with an int and wis of 3 each, it's painfull to read. Story can honestly go either way after chapter 26...
Greet novel, hard to start due to the small beginning chapters and little details but when you get far enough you will flow through the chapters like water. The story has lots of great elements that add to the suspense of the story, such as the blury parts of Fresh's stat menu along with the fact that you don't know what the Black-Fountain actually is.
The one problem I would have would be the excessive lack of info into the background of the world, and less into how the system works for different people. Ex- how leveling abilities works how many stats each person gets with the type of class the have, or how much does a sub-class effect the way your character grows like a class does(stat and skill wise).
The style of the story is great. The story is kinda slow in the beginning but picks up after the first couple chapters. The grammer so far has had little to no errors. The character's are interesting, especially Jubilee, she is the character that I am looking forward to knowing more about.
I'm looking forward to the continuation of this story and can't wait to see what it will become.
Dungeon Item Shop is both litrpg and isekai. It beings with a subtle death, and a strange transition from one world to the next. Fresh, our main character, has to build a new life as an adventurer / shopkeepr with her only party member, Jubilee. The plotline is a bit dark, but it's also wacky and fun.
The pace of the story is slow, yet it's a fast read. While it takes a while to get going, there is plenty of drama, a touch of action, and some good character interactions. It feels like you're flying through, and I think the slow pace adds a touch of realism. Realistically, how fast could someone go from crummy stats to great stats? Not very. Do we need realism in litrpg and isekai? Maybe not, but I appreciate it. It makes any advancements feel very earned.
So far, there are really only two characters in this story. Fresh is the main character. She's got her low stats, and it shows. She's weak. She's dim, but she's honest and kind. She's got room to grow. Jubilee is the opposite of Fresh. Jubilee is blunt, capable, quick-witted, and sometimes cruel. Well, maybe often, cruel. Readers might relate to one more than the other, but I found myself going back and forth between the two. It's an odd balance that works. The characters also have some pretty great dialogue. It feels natural.
Grammar is pretty solid here. I didn't see anything that broke the rules of our Modern English.
The style is straightforward. It doesn't lean too hard into description, dialogue, or action. It's just very balanced. The story is told in present tense but sticks to it. I know that's a bit outside the norm for fiction, but after a few paragraphs, you won't really notice. The third person narration is pretty standard.
Overall, I had a fun reading and reviewing this. There are some great funny parts, some clever lines, and a couple of heart wrenching moments. My spoiler button has ceased to work since I updated my computer, so I'll just say one word: Mushrooms. If you want to know why I'm sad about mushrooms, read the story.
Edit: I read through to chapter 20 when I reviewed, but forgot I did most of it on my phone (never logged in there). So, I'm just making the system correct where I am in the overall story. Sorry about that!
Disclaimer : this is my opinion and only MY opinion. I am only sharing my thoughts about this fiction, NOT about its author.
The story :
There is none. MC just farms the dungeon. Where? When ? Why ? No one knows. The worldbuilding is non-existent. Nothing is ever justified or explained in any way.
What I find surprising is that the MC gets reborn precisely because she feels numb, and yet, goes on to do the most boring thing possible in such a setting : farming.
The characters :
I've seen 3 characters total so far, one of whom was pretty much an NPC who gave a quest to the MC.
Of the other two, one is decently written, but lacks depth.
Which leaves the MC : they are the most useless human being I have ever seen in fiction. They have no redeeming quality wahtsoever.
I'm personally not too fond of that. I like having a more balanced MC.
The style :
No time is given to describe the places and people seen in this world. In fact nothing is described beyond the most basic of description.
the dialogues and overall social interactions are lackluster.
A few discrepancies with tenses every once in a while, but nothing too problematic.
I'm not sure where this is going, but, so far this has been... not even frustrating. I feel nothing when reading this.
Not even anger or frustration at how useless the MC is. Just... boredom.
A lot of people seem to say this is a redemption story, and I'm inclined to agree. But that's not enough. Having a good concept is not enough.
I remember watching an anime called Grimgar, a few years ago (and even reading some the novel associated with it). It had weak as hell protagonists. BUT the art itself was great.
THAT is what you're missing in my opinion. Inprove your style, improve your dialogues, your social interactions, and above all else, your world building.
And be careful about tenses.
Without it, just like with overpowered characters, this is all boring.
Reminds me of Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale with an isekia twist. That really gets my hope up for this story. The author has confirmed the pacing will be slow, which may or may not be your cup of tea. The chapters tend to be on the shorter end. Really getting my hopes up for the premises potential. Hope the author can get some help from the community editing but it isn't a deal breaker. Not to sure if there is going to be a consistent release schedule or if this is a story you just look at once a month. But here is to hopeing. Capatalism Ho!
This review is subjective and based on my personal taste.
I hate stupid MCs, even more those clueless than make no sense and still do things. The mc of this novel is of the charts.
The characters seem decent and correct, the writing is good (no grammar errors) the pacing is slow, the characters are too stupid and there is little to no description. The mc as previously said is off the charts childish and stupid (which irritates me a lot).
Also the worldbuilding is nill, to this point you know that
A) adventures are a thing but when you sign up you get indebted.
B) dungeons exist.
C)people go into dungeons to farm monster parts and then sell them.
there is no more worldbuilding, no explanation of anything of how things work, the novel develops at a snails pace (it was said that it was slow but there is no progression whatsoever).
also there is no description of anything, the guild hall was made of materials? Had smells? The dungeon was perfectly squarish? Like a cave? Stone floor? The torches were magical? Burned due to oil? Did no one found where she cooked the shroom till she went back?
TLDR: There are waaay to many questions and no explanations with the stupidest MC I have ever read. Not fun nor recommended.
As of this review, there are currently 17 chapters. And while the story is, admittedly, quite a slow burn, there is a reason for it. The author goes to great lengths to describe scenes, which I can appreciate. Too often, authors blow throw their backstory, leaving the reader confused as to how things happened. For some people, this might be a turn-off, but this style allows the proper development of the characters and setting.
If you're interested in a slow-paced litrpg, then I highly recommend checking this story out.
The story is written from the third-person perspective. The narration is subjective; ie, we see things from the biased main character's perspective. It's also written in the present tense, which you don't see too often.
Now, my opinion. For the most part, the story flows well; however, there is a tendency for the author to rely on run-on sentences. These typically happen during descriptions, so I can appreciate the detail to a certain extent. As a suggestion to the author, I would recommend breaking up your longer sentence descriptions into more manageable chunks.
Additionally, there are issues with the tense changing. Sometimes, these changes make sense in context (self-reflection and all that). Other times, the changes are questionable.
Something I did enjoy was the dialogue; it's a solid 11/10. Seriously, I found myself smiling during some parts. There are no brick wall conversations to be found here.
Last but not least, the pacing. It's slow, don't get me wrong. Typically, I dislike stories that are too slow, and I won't lie, I found myself wishing the author would pick it up during several parts. However, this is just a personal opinion, and don't let it distract you from what the story has to offer.
A few miscellaneous suggestions to the author: I would italicize the character's inner thoughts to make them clearer, and break up the paragraphs more. There's a few instances where dialogue started, and there is no break between ideas. This isn't unbearable, but implementing this change would make the story clearer.
It's a litrpg, iseakai with a twist. Instead of the over-used OP protagonist, it's quite the opposite. Fresh, our MC, is a girl from Earth that gets transported to another. She finds herself with none of the benefits of others in the genre. In fact, she's weaker than dirt --- fungus, perhaps. This take allows for the unconventional route of a crafter to be taken. Currently, there has been no shopkeep action, but the story is slowly but surely getting there.
Is it good? Yes. Is it perfect? No. But I've enjoyed story's with worse grammar, so this shouldn't deter anyone.
This is easily the best part of the story. The MC has a personality; she's not just some cookie-cutter protagonist. In all logical sense, some of the choices she makes are stupid; however, from the POV of the MC, these choices make sense. This is what I love: actual characters.
(While there is only one real side character at the moment, they have another unique personality as well).
Fair warning for power fantasy lovers: the MC isn't the headstrong type. She's more of a follower than a leader. I have no problem with it, but I know certain individuals will get frustrated with some of the story. If you'll hate the story simply because of that, I recommend steering away.
With all that out of the way, give the story a shot!
I came across this story while browsing the New Releases section and was very pleased when I popped in to take a look. The book starts with good characterization with even the background characters being illustrated well enough to complete the scene. I would like to note that the concept is very samey. It's a pretty generic gaming system, but I'm a sucker for books like this so I didn't particularly mind.
Grammar is a bit iffy here and there; there are a few parts in the first chapter that should have been separated into different sections. Whenever a new character talks you need to start a new paragraph. For example:
"I think 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.' is the best sample phrase," Adam said.
"Yeah, but you have to admit that 'Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow.' sounds way cooler," Eve replied.
There are also several places where punctuation is missing, and a few sentence fragments here and there. There are few places where it would make more sense to connect them to the sentences before or after.
I also like that nothing about the young girl is described at first, so it's pretty easy to imagine her by myself.
Otherwise, you did pretty great. looking forward to seeing more!
The second and third chapter are jarring; for myself atleast.
It is written in a weird combo of present tense and third person. my reason for calling it jarring. it kept giving me some sort or logic disconnect, There was also a minor issue of giving the MC a monkier that is somewhat common word 'Fresh' then having that appear moree than one in short spurts - think: "fresh is fresh." thought Fresh. ) kind of thing.
Then of 3 people focused on at this point in the storey; the first one was natural, the second was like 90% NPC; I want him awarda a badge with NPC on it, then the third one introduced went back to being life-like and written really well.
So far it is like a Coin Toss that landed on its side...
As the title of this review says, the book is a fresh and rather interesting take on the LitRPG genre, at least as far as i have read into LitRPGs. The main character Fresh isn't some overpowered character but rather underpowered which leads to the story taking an interesting route.
The story has both many light and whimsical moments and rather serious moments that it manages to strike you the reader with both making you laugh at Freshs funny moments and wince at the dark underbelly of the guild when she meets jubilee.
While so far there aren't that many characters introduced. Fresh and jubilee are well written enough that they carry the story amazingly with the characters play off each. Also don't sleep on the chicken of doom and poor Mr mushroom, they both left a fond mark on me about the story.
I can't complain about the grammar, it's well written and i couldn't honestly find any problems with it.
The chapters are short and for most people will find the story as too slow a burn before things start happening but honestly this works for this story as it takes it's time getting you to care for fresh and to settle into the mood of the setting.