The Lost Devil - Volume I

by tharkiSenpai

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

He was 'Yama'[The God of Death] or 'Asura'[The Devil himself].

No one wanted to cross paths with him

Every life he took was just another assignment for him...
Every life he took was just one more number added to the count...
Every life he took was to reach a certain someone...

"Please spare me, I will give you as much money as you want". A man pleaded.

"Sorry but you have already paid me, by becoming my target,"

The young man said while fidgeting the dagger in his hand.

"I will..." Before the man could reply

Splash... The dagger in the young man's hand, slit his target's neck



But what will happen, if he suddenly lost his memory? He found himself surrounded by people who cared about him, loved him.

Will he be able to continue living like this? Will he remember his past? If so, will he return to his old ways, or will he use his skills to help the people around him? What will happen when his past comes haunting him?

  • Overall Score
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  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
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  • Pages :
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tharkiSenpai

tharkiSenpai

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Blackleg
Overall

This novel is like something you would love with a passion or hate with a passion. There is no middle ground to it. I will start with who will like this novel, Harem lovers.

MC is a very able, likeable person. He is also very handsome(!) and there are a bunch of women already interested in him(!!!).

Grammar is not bad and since I am not a native speaker will leave it in the hands of a capable future reviewer. I will tell you one thing though I cannot find any mistakes.

Cons

The story starts slow and remains slow till the current chapter. I request the author to put a slice of life tag. Another weakness of the story is how it projected on the front page. It makes you think we are going to have overpowered MC and full of actions.

My advice for the author since it is not the slice of life easy-going Japanese novel. I will recommend a plot twist to spice it up. It is solid but with minor tweaks, it could be much more.

Plum Gorilla
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Well, whenever you read a novel there are ups and downs... The same can be said for this story. The character building and the plot has been good so far. There were a few boring chapters, but it's all for story building I guess. The author in the first chapter informed us about the protagonist's condition which helps us understand why he behaves the way he does in the later chapters. Some of the potential love interests have already been introduced and there is always a possibility of more. Also, the plus point to the story which I feel is the involvement of the parents in the story which I can feel is not any less. Unlike the other stories where the parents are nothing more than side X 10 characters, here they might play a good part in the protagonist's life. I don't want to write too much about the story or it might be a spoiler. Overall the story has been worth my time till now... Let's hope it remains the same later too. The story looks optimistic so far and certainly has a good plot armour to it. I have placed it on my favourite list and will follow its progress. Keep up the good work Mr Author...Fighting!!

Daniel Newwyn
Overall

The Lost Devil by thakrisenpai follows the story of Alex Rutherford, who is deemed the God of Killing. The first chapters start off pretty slow, with enough time to build up Alex's normal life and revealing his memory loss in preparation for the real plot kicking in later on. It seems that the author isn't a native speaker, but I applaud them for their determination to write in a foreign language. There are some tense, grammatical, and punctuation issues, but nothing the author can't fix.

Sunken_ship
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I won't be spilling anything about the plot, but it is surely worth giving a try in the long run with many chapters. Except for some editing (especially the spacing between the paragraphs and conversations), everything is fine. The plot moves ahead at a steady pace with the events of the past keeping in mind.

Just read the story till the last update and seriously liked the way Alex replied to Karen's husband, "I don't trust you". It was good, maybe because of what Karen said during dinner, he held a bit of grudge against her husband. But naturally, Karen will have to bear the brunt of his statement.

Coming back to the story, although I did not find anything ridiculously funny, I kept on reading till the last chapter and waited for the updates too. Reading such stories once in a while to pass time is good too.

 

Also, I think most of the potential love interests have been introduced and now the story will revolve around them. I am waiting for the day when he will regain his memory, will there be a girl he loved before he lost his memory is something I am anticipating.

Overall I find the story satisfactory and I wish you luck with the story.

ArthurScott
Overall

Nice characters, needs an editor...

Reviewed at: Chapter 5: Father's in trouble

THIS STORY HAS the potential to do well but is greatly held back by grammar issues. For me, I found it very difficult to follow anything other than the character's dialogue. This is mostly because I'm dyslexic and need well above average grammar to understand what's going on. Otherwise I'm just rubbing my eyes in confusion. 

For that reason I stuck with a basic review because I can't even identify the other categories apart from characters and grammar.

Best of luck to the author!

AshroBugger
Overall

Well isn’t bad but isn’t the greatest thing

Reviewed at: Chapter 2: The Written Test

For what is the story is a story, but the grammar is better than mine.

 

The genre isn't my taste but I'll still read newer chapters because I want to know what happens next.

 

But we ain't professional so grammar mistakes aren't that big of a deal.

 

In short not my genre but I don't hate it I find it quite good.

 

-San approved.

Sky573
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This will be my second review. And sorry but I'll be honest.

Grammar: I'm not qualified to rate this but as of right now I didn't spot any misspelled grammar so it's good enough

Style: It can be better. I think one round of edit should be enough but then again I'm not that well-versed in this.

Story: It's too slow-paced. I mean, it give off a completely different vibe from the synopsis alone. And there's too many boring chapter. I get that the author need to build up his world but ten chapter happening without any relevant event (at least I didn't spot any) is a downside. Again, it need to be fast-paced.

Character: There are Alex, his parents and Margarett. As its still early in the story the personage are still undevelopped however you feel that they all have a past. It didn't really picked my interest, though. However, they may have potential.

Overall: Not my type of story (because I don't like harem in general) but can be interesting. Though, from the tags and description, it's a little different from what I expected. Again, the author need to advance the story faster. That's the biggest issue I can find.