Knight and Smith
Secrets once thought lost are coming to light...
Orin, a young thief turned mercenary, is returning to his home for the first time in four years. Orin wants nothing more than to reconnect with his family and settle down in the city he loves, but fate is fickle and has another destiny in mind for the swordsman.
Now bound to the Princess of the Realm in ways he doesn't fully understand, Orin finds himself thrust into the world of Nobility, where no one can be truly trusted and his friends are few and far between.
To ensure his survival, and that of the entire Kingdom, Orin must learn to harness the power of a Knight and work with the Princess Elora to protect those they both love, all while dealing with psychotic Knights, a mad King and Elora's own protectors.
Well, if nothing else, I'm sure it will be an adventure.
This is one of the ideas I've been working on for a while and wanted to see how far I can go with it.
There's nothing really original here, just something fun I wanted to explore a bit more.
Chapters will be posted once a week on Friday at five pm GMT.
Thank you for reading and I hope that you enjoy Knight and Smith!
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So here we have a classic story of the princess and the pauper and the dragon that needs slaying and the jealous world that interferes and thereby helps the dragon.
Good rousing stuff overall: death and grit and adversity and the possibility of a HEA. At times it is told with admirable pace, at times we are made to wade through neverending dialogue and sentences that are just too long. God do I hate those sentences.
The hero and mostly narrator of this story is an orphan, a street-rat, a mercenary. Yet he waxes lyrical about every shite. I had to jump to the next chapter at times when the pressure of all this wrongness was just too much for my ADHD.
The Princess had confirmed, in no uncertain terms, a few days ago that I was safe as long as I was Bonded with her, reinforcing what Yale had told me during our short meeting.
I pushed myself upright with a single finger, smelling the clear air that washed down from the distant White Peaks and the feeling of the wind brushing against my skin. I could clearly see the flat plains that surrounded the wagons of the band, so beautiful despite their simplicity, devoid of tree's and shrubbery, but the blades of tall grass rustling against each other was something of a symphony to my ears. What a rush.
Stylistically poor and grammatically suspect - not good, sorry. This is the norm, not the exception. The wordiness smothers the story at times and unfortunately it is not an elegant juggling of words and constructions. It reminds me a bit of Stevie Wonder songs (without the genius) where you want to beg him to finish it already, but no such luck. The princess tells him at some stage that he speaks better than most people in the palace: somebody flog her tutors for me.
I'm not that struck by the characters and the MC is a hard, gritty ponderer?
Is it worth 4*? It is for RR. If this were a published piece I'd give it 2* at the moment.
I am aware that I am for outside the throng of steadfast admirers and expect a lot of thumbs down.
Current chapter is book 2, chapter 7. The author has dropped to 1 chapter a week. The extra chapters are missed, but story progress is still solid.
Complaints and "plot holes" from book 1 have been largely and naturally addressed over the early parts of book 2. The author continues to deliver a high quality story. For anyone wondering if the story has had staying power - it has!
What a treat of a story. Forget Isekai standards, this story is an incredible implementation of a fantasy swordsman and his story.
The style is clean and progresses the story nicely each chapter. There are a few POV switches, but only between a few key recurring characters, and each switch provides important information without rehashing the same scene over and over.
Almost flawless. I have noticed a few instances of the wrong word being used (fair vs fare I have seen at least twice), but these are inconsequantial and extremely rare. Spelling and sentence structure have been great, and there are no problems that interrupt the reading experience.
The story is gripping. Between wanting to know more about the core magical concepts, wanting to know more about the characters, and wanting to see what unexpected (yet reasonable or feasible in hindsight) event happens next, each chapter is exciting to open.
The 2 main characters are largely written as realistic, "knows their place in life" characters. Both have a streak of fatalism, knowing what to expect from their circumstances and not whining when said circumstances treat them poorly. But both are optimistic and strong and unafraid to take the actions required of them. Most of all though, the list of named and relevant characters has been kept trimmed down, allowing readers to keep up with all (or most) of the names thrown at them in different perspectives. Truly, this is a treat, given how many stories tend to bloat with extras.
I am writing this review at chapter 17. While this is a low chapter count, it is also 500 pages in, which is more than enough content to know the story is fantastic and worth reading. Current release pace is twice a week. Chapter size is large enough that even if the author drops to once a week in the future the story should continue to move briskly.
There are certain parts of the story that I'm quite impressed with. Unfortunately, I can't help but feel the flaws tarnish the whole.
My main issue is the plot, some bits of it feel unrealistic and forced, though, I admit most of my dislike is of where the story has gone.
Style is an issue as the author is far to fond of info-dumps in the form of exposition or the more rare info-dump in form of dialogue. There is also the odd turn of phrase, which always stops me from reading and start considering editing.
Characters seem inconsistent in parts. I find myself expecting some characters to act in certain ways based on previous actions only to be confused when they don't.
Grammar is alright overall, but does need some touch ups.
This is quite possibly the most Young Adult Fantasy story I have ever read.
It takes all the tropes and plotlines that YA is often made fun of for, and then writes a story out of it. It throws no surprises and is about the most generic story one could imagine. But it is competently written.
This is the the epitome of YA. YA condensed into a story.
Take that how you will.
Writing is great, prose is on point(if a mite overly flowery at times), grammar and spelling is perfect.
The setting is vivid and easy to picture and the world-building seems to have some depth
The plot progresses at a natural pace and never gets too dull or too quick.
The magic system is unique and interesting.
With all that said though, the reason for the meh rating is that I just can't bring myself to enjoy reading about the main plot point of the entire story, the "Bond".
To me personally reading about the development of a relationship whose entire foundation is predicated on mind control is just not compelling.
It's obvious that the author put some effort into establishing that the MC still has some self-control and that he can somewhat separate his own feelings from the psychic shenanigans but when it colours every major interaction that occurs between the MC and the female lead it's just too much to ignore.
I don't like having to question every word out of a characters mouth and wonder whether an action is taken just because of magical mind buggery.
Obviously given the prevalence of this sort of thing in romantic fiction and the amazing ratings this has it's not a popular opinion, but that's just me, and I rate based on enjoyment more than anything.
The world this author builds is, even with the low amount of chapters released until now, quite frankly amazingly beautiful.
I started reading and was drawn in with the first paragraph and could not stop until I was finished with the seventh chapter (latest release at time of review) and I look forward to whatever the author has in store for us next.
- The grammar is, as far as I can tell, perfect. I did not notice a single error when I read it. (I have to confess not having the best eye for grammar mistakes and spelling errors, since english is not my first language and I tend to get absorbed in good stories, like this one)
- His writing style paints a picture of the world so vivid as if you yourself were right in that moment, living the story.
- I love the story up until now and I hope it stays that way.
- The characters are (up until now) fleshed out, with their own goals, wishes and dreams, but we will have to see if they develop further (with the quality of the story, i have no doubt they will)
I can easly picture myself buying this as a hardcopy, the first few chapters have completely convinced me of that fact.
Review may include spoilers up to Book 2.
Updated at early book two. Agree with one of the top reviews.
YA fantasy in a nutshell, complete with hard-won romance, much proving oneself, and power-ups, with the MC's particular variant being distinguished by hidden darkness and edginess. And of course, the MC is the One, born to Uncertain Parents and raised an orphan, with Something Different about him by dint of Blood, Birth, and Line ala the Dramatic Exposition Reveal by the Surrogate Mother Figure who Knew All Along.
Plenty of angst and action, growth and gyration. A dash of a hint of upcoming sexy-times, likely skipped with a fade-to-black and subsequent teasing with many-a red dusting on the main pair's cheeks.
Pretty well-written prose-wise. Characters easy to root for, at least until the end of Book 1, though plenty of bitter undertones to many of the interactions to reveal a general underlying youthful cynicism.
All in all, not a bad read - definitely in the 90th percentile on this site overall quality-wise.
This story does in a handful of chapters what many authors struggle to do with hundreds. The characters are all believably flawed with enough depth to them that keeps them both sympathetic and likable. No self insert MC's/Dead eyed waifu's to be seen here! I'm very impressed with how the author handles introspection, we are given very clear insights into the protagonists head without losing too much of the word count to whatever is going on in their head. Again I will say that a lot happens in this story very quickly.
The world that has been created has a real history and texture to it even though we have only glimpsed a very small part of the world. This is also due to change as at the time of this review we are about to take out first steps outside of the city where the initial action takes place.
The plot moves quickly, effortlessly straddling a fine line between being fast paced without feeling rushed. The characters actions are all consistent with their established personalities, and nobody really commits stupid actions to manufacture suspense.
The writing style is good maintaining excellent grammar and sentence structure whilst showing strong signs of being thought out well in advance.
The concept isn't all that ground breaking, (the whole Smith and Knight concept feels very anime) and the antagonists plots do feel a little simplistic at times but it is all so wonderfully executed that all of this can be forgiven. So far there are no dead chapters or filler content, just a strong cohesive story that deserves a shot.
My only criticism is that this story feels more like an actual novel than a web serial and I can only pray that the author continues to maintain this kind of quality as the story grows both in word count and complexity.
This story is a really good one. The writing, the style and characters are all great and it is a treat to read. So definitely check it out.
Problems start appearing later on in the book though and since it concerns plotholes I will be spoiling everything. You have been warned.
Orin is an heir. We don't really know what it entails yet but we know it's a big fucking deal. However, the Dviritazi way of handling it makes no sense. They send Tessa to some strangers to be around him just in case. What ? Aren't they supposed to bond ? It's even more jarring because we know what should happen. A knight and a smith should spend time together to get to know each other and the knight should train to prepare his soul. Instead, there is no contact between them until a long time later and Orin is never made aware of anything. When was he going to be informed ? Trained ? In the fist chapter, Orin is 18 and leaves the band.
Moreover, let's talk about Boldrin mercenary band. Orin joins them at 14. Are we supposed to believe they predicted the future and knew he was going to join them ? Plus, the band already has a reputation which means they were not even staying around him. Tessa even joins the band later on. There is no way you can say Boldrin was looking after Orin before he joins them. We know he is malnourished and lives in the slums. He could die any moment in those slums. And how about sending money to the orphelinage to say inconspicuous while helping him ?
The only reasonnable conclusion, is that the author added the whole Orin being an heir and Tessa his smith afterwards. Particularly, Tessa being his smith. Orin being an heir could have been a discovery but instead we are supposed to believe Tessa was his destined smith even though at 18 he still has not been informed of anything. The problem is that it is a huge plothole front and center in the story and yet you just have to ignore it. It really does leave a sour taste to what could truly have been a great story. Still get a 3.5 from me for the great writing.
P.S.: The band attacks a 100 000 strong army when their priority should be Orin and his security and still tell him nothing. Come on now. You can't just add stuff afterwards in the story without thinking how it will impact what you have written until now.
Very enjoyable read. I like how the smiths and knights magic work and can't wait to learn more about it. It's also written well which is something I really appreciate it though I can look past it if the story's good. One thing I'm not really a fan of is the some of the romance elements between our two main characters.