Ebony Chitin

by slayerbat

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Richard Adams is something of a talented alchemist. One of the few magical professions that have anything to do with some kind of science. Everything was going swimmingly, until the 'cold night' incident happened. With it being determined as his fault, that such a thing happened. He was promptly exiled until he could return to Eclipse with a new 'discovery' for his field. What he didn't expect; was that he'd run into a strange humanoid monster that could seemingly heal any life threatening wound in a matter of seconds. Certainly this would be what he needs to become a master alchemist.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 25,631
  • Average Views :
  • 712
  • Followers :
  • 254
  • Favorites :
  • 39
  • Ratings :
  • 61
  • Pages :
  • 627
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report


Word Count (11)
Top List #1500
Royal Writathon October 2020 winner
Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Apex Predator ago
Lost in the Dark ago
Into the Night ago
Camping Out ago
Evolution ago
New Adventures ago
Chapter 7: Losing It ago
Chapter 8: Interesting Interruptions ago
Chapter 9: Now Together, Never Apart ago
Chapter 10: Do You Remember? ago
Chapter 11: Elite Richards ago
Chapter 12: Look! A Distraction ago
Chapter 13: Little Lies ago
Chapter 14: Wyatt's "Day Off" ago
Chapter 15: Any Other Day ago
Chapter 16: Secrets and Spies ago
Chapter 17: Hurry, Hurry, Hurry ago
Oswald's Summarized Thesis on Magic ago
Chapter 18: Exploring in the Night ago
Chapter 19: Rich With Friends ago
Chapter 20: Explain Yourself ago
Chapter 21: Explain Yourself Part II ago
Chapter 22: Explain Yourself Part III ago
Chapter 23: The Bearded Lady ago
Chapter 24: The Bearded Lady Part II ago
Chapter 25: Tangled Webs ago
Chapter 26: Tangled Webs Part II ago
Daily life of the Hive (side story): The Cycle ago
Chapter 27: Silent Night ago
Chapter 28: Whispering, Weeping, and Creeping ago
Chapter 29: What Happened!? ago
Chapter 30: The Hole ago
Chapter 31: When it Happened ago
Chapter 32: Some Welcome Back Party ago
Daily life of the Hive (side story): Loving The New Place ago
Chapter 33: Answers, and Interviews ago

Leave a review

Sort by:
Zenopath (AEV)

Slightly awkward but very interesting.

Reviewed at: Chapter 23: The Bearded Lady

This story is good, but the first act is a little confusing. It doesn't have grammar problems or anything like that, but the multiple POV left me confused as to who the protagonist is. It turns out that the author intends to make both of the two characters have their own interwoven stories, but for the first act its one story thread with two rather passive characters taking turns reacting to events.

Again, I liked the story and it works better later on when both characters start having a bit of thier own separate but overlapping stories and motivations, but you have to hang in there until it properly starts act 2 and that takes about 15 chapters.

There's a lot of descriptions here, some are literal reports, other are flashbacks, and there's a lot of the titular character learning what humans are, what there isn't much of, in the first 14 chapters, is urgency. Pacing suffers from a lack of threat and a lot of World building, but at least its interesting world building for the most part.

Overall there's a lot to like despite the aforementioned problems. Good dialogue, interesting world building. If an editor had gotten his hands on the story, he'd have told the writer to move to act 2 of the story a bit sooner, because its better than the first.

Eritis sicut Diabolus

Did not get past first chapter

Reviewed at: Apex Predator

TL;DR: Massive grammar issues. Author is willing to make edits.

I did not actually get to the see what the story was about here because I found it so hard to read. I'm not trying to be mean, normally I rate anything that isn't dumpster 3 stars but I'm awarding a star for the author editing mistakes to improve the story.