- Traumatising content
Richard Adams is something of a talented alchemist. One of the few magical professions that have anything to do with some kind of science. Everything was going swimmingly, until the 'cold night' incident happened. With it being determined as his fault, that such a thing happened. He was promptly exiled until he could return to Eclipse with a new 'discovery' for his field. What he didn't expect; was that he'd run into a strange humanoid monster that could seemingly heal any life threatening wound in a matter of seconds. Certainly this would be what he needs to become a master alchemist.
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This story is good, but the first act is a little confusing. It doesn't have grammar problems or anything like that, but the multiple POV left me confused as to who the protagonist is. It turns out that the author intends to make both of the two characters have their own interwoven stories, but for the first act its one story thread with two rather passive characters taking turns reacting to events.
Again, I liked the story and it works better later on when both characters start having a bit of thier own separate but overlapping stories and motivations, but you have to hang in there until it properly starts act 2 and that takes about 15 chapters.
There's a lot of descriptions here, some are literal reports, other are flashbacks, and there's a lot of the titular character learning what humans are, what there isn't much of, in the first 14 chapters, is urgency. Pacing suffers from a lack of threat and a lot of World building, but at least its interesting world building for the most part.
Overall there's a lot to like despite the aforementioned problems. Good dialogue, interesting world building. If an editor had gotten his hands on the story, he'd have told the writer to move to act 2 of the story a bit sooner, because its better than the first.
TL;DR: Massive grammar issues. Author is willing to make edits.
I did not actually get to the see what the story was about here because I found it so hard to read. I'm not trying to be mean, normally I rate anything that isn't dumpster 3 stars but I'm awarding a star for the author editing mistakes to improve the story.