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A horrific attack on a crowd ends with tens of thousands dead before Loren Parker abruptly wakes up in his bed, miraculously unharmed, two days before the explosion. Setalite City is on the brink of destruction, famous heroes and infamous villains are being systematically killed worldwide, and an unknown puppet master is pulling the strings. Lucky for him, Loren has all the time in the world to set things straight.
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I binge read this story and thoroughly loved it. The characters are not perfectly written but definitely interesting, and the story was engaging.
The problem came in when I realized how the author keeps having to force the MC to make the worst decisions in order to drag out the story, to not reveal too much at once. It even gets lampshaded in the story but that doesn't excuse it as a problem.
The part that made me drop it was when it seemed like the problem was getting fixed. A character called the MC out on his shit and I got my hopes up... only to have them shattered again when the MC made an even stupider decision than all the other stupid decisions that were clearly more artificial road blocks meant to delay the story.
I still want to recomment this story though. It's flawed but worth the read, and if you can look past what I personally found infuriating then this could be your favourite fiction.
For all the snark and wit the writer puts into his characters, and for all the development that he pushes in regards to their mental health he still hasn't moved the plot forward an inch.
I enjoyed the first few chapters, but it became clear to myself and many readers that our main character is unreasonably stupid, and his epiphanies are contrived at best and out of character forced at worst. If this wasn't bad enough, the antagonist(s?) have some sort of plan so excellent that even a timeloop powered idiot cannot uncover even a modicrum of information towards moving forward.
The plot has stagnated and it feels like we're watching paint dry or grass grow. The MC makes dubious choices that seem to always lead to the death of himself and his friends, leaving the myself frustrated with the lack of development. I believe the development we'll see beyond this point will be a Deus ex Machina that moves things forward.
Loren continually makes the worst decisions possible every loop, it's sapped the fun out of reading.
Needs a better blurb and possibly cover
The story is great, it just needs a better description and/or cover to pull people in. Cut down it tighter, but giving more information:
Thursday, February 24th, 2022. Loren Parker, e-sports player and commision artist for super-porn, dies as bombs erupt across Setalite City.
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2022. Loren Parker, e-sports player, commision artist, and super (?), wakes up with immense confusion and a random superpower.
Every loop, a new power; every day, new questions. Just who has set all these bombs? Why are they kiling all the heroes? And, how can they be stopped?
I tried to give this fic a chance, but it's just annoying to read. Plot seems random, the events accidentall, dialogue uninteresting and worse of all the MC is absolutely insufferable, I simply can't stand him.
This story left me with one important question, however, what good is a time-loop fiction if the MC refuses to take advantage of it and acts like a fool all the time? It's more of a detriment than an interesting idea.
Great premise and interesting worldbuilding, but pretty inconsistent personality of the main character is dragging my interest down.
While it is nice that the mc is not some kind of deus ex machina and can be plagued by indecision and depression, his hero complex and idiotic attempts at brute forcing an ineffective solution to the repeated disaster and death feels completely forced after multiple chapters (and deaths).
While the latest chapter hints at finally some plot progression beyond the first few chapters, the latest act of the main character putting himself in position of having his time loop power being stolen by a villain while he himself is aware of it just seals the deal for me. I'm not so willing to watch the mc flounder and self own himself through the next plot point for another 50 chapters or so.
Okay, so I'll admit, I really only started this story because I'm familiar with the author. I'm not sure if I'd have made it past the summary otherwise with nothing there to really hook me. Obviously this is an early review, but I'm definitely intrigued enough now, having read it, to follow it. Perhaps going into it blind helped to enhance the experience, so I'll spoiler the rest. Rest assured, it's at least worth a look.
WARNING; Massive honking spoilers! Do not open unless you won't read this story otherwise!
So, first thing the summary doesn't mention; this is very much an Alternate Earth. While there's some parallels, in this world super-heroes and villains are common enough that a knock-down drag-out fight in the business district only rates a brief mention on the morning news before announcing the city's upcoming gaming competition.
The story follows Loren, a competitive gamer who has a wild rollercoaster of a few days; waking up to a shattering lightbulb, witnessing a fatal car crash, winning 100 grand in a gaming competition, bombings in a neighbring city and coming to a pretty shitty conclusion by dying horribly alongside Paragon -the native Superman equivalent- in a massive explosion before waking up to a shattering lightbulb.
That's right, it's a Groundhog Day scenario! With the added bonus of seemingly random new powers every time he wakes up again. I'm looking forward to shenanigans. Worldbuilding is solid, and there's some definite intrigue going on in the background that I'm looking forward to being unveiled.
I do enjoy the story, but it suffers from the authors chronic problem. The main character is terrible. He's just an ass to everyone, and while there is some explanation for it, he just comes off as an asshole.
Spoiler for chapter 35
We get a flash back to when he was in high school and every part of his life is terrible. It feels like the author just wanted to explain why Loren is so mean and closed off, but not in a good way. He just this is supposed to make you sympathize with Loren but instead I'm rolling my eyes and laughing at how his life is somehow worse that Harry Potters. Everything that happens to him in that chapter is objectively horrible, but you don't care enough about Loren for it to mean something.
I'm only on chapter 7, but I'm already wondering why the hell this is rated so highly. The story so far is almost like a fever-dream. The concept is interesting, I think, but man, the execution so far is just not very good. So, the story (which you can't tell by the terrible summary), is about a guy in a time-loop who gets a new superpower every loop, with a series of murders committed against superheroes hanging over it all. However, the way its done is just terrible, and the same goes for the writing.
Perhaps most importantly, the characters and dialogue is horrible. It feels completely unnatural, and this isn't just the way the characters talk, but also the way they behave. Why the hell do the characters believe the MC so easily when he tells them he's in a time-loop, to the point where they literally place their lives in his hands because he "sees the future"? Hell, why do they talk with the MC as if they've been best friends all life, when they barely know each other? Why is the MC instantly confident enough to kill himself before he's even 100% sure what kind of loop he's in? Why do the characters talk strangely? It's all so surreal.
And speaking of the dialogue, it feels like all of the dialogue is set up in such a way that the MC can interject with some smartass quip (like seriously, the MC only talks in quips or jokes. it's unbelieveably grating). The MC in general feels like some sort of self-insert Gary Stu character.
This isn't even mentioning the pace of the story. It's * blistering. Now, this doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing, but in the case of this story it is. It feels like the kind of stuff you might write out the night before the deadline of an assignment, while completely doped up on coffee and energy drinks. It feels like there's tons of sentences and paragraphs missing, with how the story jumps so much. Just read the first chapter and you'll see this pretty easily.
I wish things would just slow the * down, and maybe have some character development (and no, "witty" dialogue is not character development), or exploration of what is going on, or some time to think, or anything, really. Honestly, the fact that the time-loop starts with basically instant action to begin with isn't very good. Most of the time, the start of a loop should serve as a way for the MC (and the reader) to gather their thoughts about everything that previously happened. But we don't get that here, because a guy is assasinated 5 minutes into the time loop, leaving little room for thought.
But I don't know, maybe my impression of the story is wrong. Clearly, people like it, as is shown by the score of the story. Maybe it gets better after chapter 7. I can see how some people might like it, if they want an incredibly fast-paced wish-fulfilment story (because wish-fulfilment can be cool. I've definitely read some of those in the past), but this is just not for me. Grammar is good, but the rest is either mediocre or downright bad, as far as my opinion goes.
Starts off real strong, but it quickly becomes obvious this is just torture porn. Another one of those stories that appears by the hundreds with an interesting premise but a total lack of ability to actually move the plot along in any way, shape, or form.
The MC is stuck in a time-loop, which is certainly a plot device that has it's examples of both great and not-so-great works on RR. This one starts off excellent, and the idea of the MC getting randomized powers every reset was certainly one I hadn't considered. lets get the good parts out of the way before i dig into the bad...
Grammar is perfect. nothing to see here, move along. Whoever the author relies on to proofread and edit is clearly professional.
The characters are excellent, with some caveats. The MC interacts with these people across time-loops, so they are really depicted more in how they react to him instead of the other way around. That being said, they make sense even when they're quirky, which leads us to the bad stuff...
Style: repetitive, boring, and flat. the MC's biggest superpower isn't his temporal reset, nor is it his randomized power he gets as a bonus every time he wakes up in a new loop. no, his most powerful ability is in how much he sucks at everything he does. he makes a religion out of being stupid, never actually defeats a foe, and always gets himself and his friends killed. the pattern shows no hint of changing in the future either. and that ties into...
Story: repetitive ad nauseum. some people like to harp on mary sues and whatnot, but it's also very easy to go way too far in the other direction. the only mary sue in this story is the Evil Plot™. the main character has a broken time-looping ability, yet everything he does to try to stop the Evil Scheme backfires without him actually learning anything relevant to the bigger picture. the story is just a chain of vignettes of disappointment, retold over and over and over again, and every bit of knowledge he gains through repetitigve loops is used against him like the bad guys have some sort of proto-temporal omniscience as a hard counter to his powers. it got old, very fast, and the author still hasn't managed any sort of turning point in the story that might resemble plot progression.
Overall its a great reroll story . The mc is wrapped into a timeloop mystery as all good restart groundhog type stories are. Hes got so much personality and love the cynical humor. The only thing that truly bothers me is his "neighbor" with so much sexual tension you never know when shes gunna make out with him despite the fact her boy friend recently dies or disappears, is so goddamn annoying with her pouting and trying to act cute shit she does. In general if you ignore some plot holes its a great story
Good story ruined by autistic main cast
Edit and update: up to the recent chapter the story has progressed in a very atrocious snail like pace. Once again the main cast is cringe and vomit worthy. Best of luck author but i gotta unfollow