Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

A horrific attack on a crowd ends with tens of thousands dead before Loren Parker abruptly wakes up in his bed, miraculously unharmed, two days before the explosion. Setalite City is on the brink of destruction, famous heroes and infamous villains are being systematically killed worldwide, and an unknown puppet master is pulling the strings. Lucky for him, Loren has all the time in the world to set things straight.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 559,435
  • Average Views :
  • 7,361
  • Followers :
  • 3,071
  • Favorites :
  • 782
  • Ratings :
  • 952
  • Pages :
  • 858
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
Elbowsnapper

Elbowsnapper

Achievements
3,000 Followers
500,000 Views
75 Comments
Word Count (15)
Top List #50
Advertisement
Remove
Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1 ago
Chapter 2 ago
Chapter 3 ago
Chapter 4 ago
Chapter 5 ago
Chapter 6 ago
Chapter 7 ago
Chapter 8 ago
Chapter 9 ago
Chapter 10 ago
Chapter 11 ago
Chapter 12 ago
Chapter 13 ago
Chapter 14 ago
Chapter 15 ago
Chapter 16 ago
Chapter 17 ago
Chapter 18 ago
Chapter 19 ago
Chapter 20 ago
Chapter 21 ago
Chapter 22 ago
Chapter 23 ago
Chapter 24 ago
Chapter 25 ago
Chapter 26 ago
Chapter 27 ago
Chapter 28 ago
Chapter 29 ago
Chapter 30 ago
Chapter 31 ago
Chapter 32 ago
Chapter 33 ago
Chapter 34 ago
Chapter 35 ago
Chapter 36 ago
Chapter 37 ago
Chapter 38 ago
Chapter 39 ago
Chapter 40 ago
Chapter 41 ago
Chapter 42 ago
Chapter 43 ago
Chapter 44 ago
Chapter 45 ago
Chapter 46 ago
Chapter 47 ago
Chapter 48 ago
Chapter 49 ago
Chapter 50 ago
Chapter 51 ago
Chapter 52 ago
Chapter 53 ago
Chapter 54 ago
Chapter 55 ago
Chapter 56 ago
Chapter 57 ago
Chapter 58 ago
Chapter 59 ago
Chapter 60 ago
Chapter 61 ago
Chapter 62 ago
Chapter 63 ago
Chapter 64 ago
Chapter 65 ago
Chapter 66 ago
Chapter 67 - Interlude: Fracture. ago
Chapter 68 - Interlude: Tiamat. ago
Chapter 69 ago
Chapter 70 ago
Chapter 71 ago
Chapter 72 ago
Chapter 73 ago
Chapter 74 ago
Chapter 75 ago
Chapter 76 ago

Leave a review

drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
Sort by:
Van_D
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Loren's insane laziness

Reviewed at: Chapter 69

Been reading the story for awhile and used to think that the other reviews were pushing it a bit but recent events have changed my opinion, 

Story: the story introduced more variables every loop most of which made sense with the setting and "style". The introduction to the main villian though makes it almost comidical in how cliche and unopposing he is in this "gritty" world

Characters: this is where the fun begins fundamental flaw with this novel has to be Loren (the protagonist) is a complete dumbass. If you like to read some reviews just for the rants like I do sometimes (randidly ghosthound is great for this) then you'll love reading the comments of this series, it seems like Loren can fuck up every possible thing he gets himself into. It feels like the author is trying to make him grow out of self pity and depression but the way he grows is by becoming a complete narcisstic asshole this combined with his ape like intelligence level causes him to blunder every fucking loop. 

Seriously it's reveals around chapter 50 that most of the people he's friends with are only there cause of a power of hormones that make girls want to blow him. Meaning that literally everyone except maybe 1 character "actually" likes him for who he is

Not only that but he gets to the point where he realizes that he has to lie to get some things done but he treats it like whoever he tells the lie to will immediately die. his aversion to it is ridiculous people's lives are on the line and he's can't even be bothered to tell a white lie to save his own or other people's asses. This all makes for the stupidest fucking plot point ive read in my entire life.

He reveals his time power to this league of superheros during one of his loops knowing that somewhere there is a mole in the league, not only that he basically explains his power completely: how far he goes back, how it happens, how many times etc. then in the same chapter they find out the janitor was the mole the whole time and he literally heard everything AND THE JANITOR ESCAPES. What was Loren's thought process about how is enemies now know literally everything about his power and how to stop it? Nothing he barley even thinks about one line maybe and then he CONTINUES THE LOOP which invetiably gets himself trapped and having his SAVE POINT FORCIBLY MOVED. All because he was too fucking lazy to restart a loop and just do the same fucking thing without the mole or better yet not explain the ins and outs of your powers at all and too just say you have precognition. The worst part is that you can't even say it's the psychological aspect of killing yourself that makes him stop it he can literally by will. Stupidest shit I've ever seen.

 

 

 

 

Xipheon
Overall

So good, until it wasn't

Reviewed at: Chapter 24

I binge read this story and thoroughly loved it.  The characters are not perfectly written but definitely interesting, and the story was engaging.

The problem came in when I realized how the author keeps having to force the MC to make the worst decisions in order to drag out the story, to not reveal too much at once.  It even gets lampshaded in the story but that doesn't excuse it as a problem.

The part that made me drop it was when it seemed like the problem was getting fixed.  A character called the MC out on his shit and I got my hopes up... only to have them shattered again when the MC made an even stupider decision than all the other stupid decisions that were clearly more artificial road blocks meant to delay the story.

I still want to recomment this story though.  It's flawed but worth the read, and if you can look past what I personally found infuriating then this could be your favourite fiction.

RAG
Overall

Loren continually makes the worst decisions possible every loop, it's sapped the fun out of reading.

Original Review:

Needs a better blurb and possibly cover
The story is great, it just needs a better description and/or cover to pull people in. Cut down it tighter, but giving more information:

Thursday, February 24thโ€‹, 2022. Loren Parker, e-sports player and commision artist for super-porn, dies as bombs erupt across Setalite City.

Tuesday, February 22ndโ€‹, 2022. Loren Parker, e-sports player, commision artist, and super (?), wakes up with immense confusion and a random superpower.

Every loop, a new power; every day, new questions. Just who has set all these bombs? Why are they kiling all the heroes? And, how can they be stopped?

OpN
Overall

The plot hasn't moved an inch in 31 chapters

Reviewed at: Chapter 31

For all the snark and wit the writer puts into his characters, and for all the development that he pushes in regards to their mental health he still hasn't moved the plot forward an inch.

I enjoyed the first few chapters, but it became clear to myself and many readers that our main character is unreasonably stupid, and his epiphanies are contrived at best and out of character forced at worst. If this wasn't bad enough, the antagonist(s?) have some sort of plan so excellent that even a timeloop powered idiot cannot uncover even a modicrum of information towards moving forward.

The plot has stagnated and it feels like we're watching paint dry or grass grow. The MC makes dubious choices that seem to always lead to the death of himself and his friends, leaving the myself frustrated with the lack of development. I believe the development we'll see beyond this point will be a Deus ex Machina that moves things forward.

uiytt
Overall

A timeloop story done wrong

Reviewed at: Chapter 69

The story isn't bad and I like to read it a bit. But it's sure that it suffer from some problems that make it hard to give it a five stars.

Well first let's talk about what is right, the characters are good, the plot is interesting, we feel emotions for the characters and style of writting is well done. so ๐Ÿ‘

Unfortunatly there is some flaws : the mc will sometimes for the sake of the plot, act like an absolut moron, when it happen once it's okay, but when it's recurrent well... (I'm not talking of the moments where the mc is emotionaly unstable.) It's especially bad because it's obvious it's just to make the plot move in a needed direction (even if we feel it's absolutly not natural / belivable).

Apart from that, the story suffer some pacing issue, there long range of chapter where not much intersting happen / where they discuss for ages. Unfortunatly this mean that the plot takes a lot of time to progress and it's quite sad to see that after 70 chapters, the MC still know pretty much nothing.

FInally in contrary to almost any really good timeloop story, we don't see the character learning / growing. Apart from some (interesting) chapters, were he asks himself if he will go crazy, there is not much in term of growth 

(instead he just gets a random power each time and stay mantally the same).

 

The story isn't bad (in fact I will continue to read it) but I cannot give it 5 stars with such flaws. I really hope that the author will do some rewrite because I'm sure it can become a famous novel here.

 

Jarmaro
Overall

I tried to give this fic a chance, but it's just annoying to read. Plot seems random, the events accidentall, dialogue uninteresting and worse of all the MC is absolutely insufferable, I simply can't stand him.

This story left me with one important question, however, what good is a time-loop fiction if the MC refuses to take advantage of it and acts like a fool all the time? It's more of a detriment than an interesting idea.

Scipio231
Overall

Dull Summary, Intriguing Story.

Reviewed at: Chapter 7

Okay, so I'll admit, I really only started this story because I'm familiar with the author. I'm not sure if I'd have made it past the summary otherwise with nothing there to really hook me. Obviously this is an early review, but I'm definitely intrigued enough now, having read it, to follow it. Perhaps going into it blind helped to enhance the experience, so I'll spoiler the rest. Rest assured, it's at least worth a look.  

WARNING; Massive honking spoilers! Do not open unless you won't read this story otherwise!

So, first thing the summary doesn't mention; this is very much an Alternate Earth. While there's some parallels, in this world super-heroes and villains are common enough that a knock-down drag-out fight in the business district only rates a brief mention on the morning news before announcing the city's upcoming gaming competition.   

The story follows Loren, a competitive gamer who has a wild rollercoaster of a few days; waking up to a shattering lightbulb, witnessing a fatal car crash, winning 100 grand in a gaming competition, bombings in a neighbring city and coming to a pretty shitty conclusion by dying horribly alongside Paragon -the native Superman equivalent- in a massive explosion before waking up to a shattering lightbulb. 

That's right, it's a Groundhog Day scenario! With the added bonus of seemingly random new powers every time he wakes up again. I'm looking forward to shenanigans. Worldbuilding is solid, and there's some definite intrigue going on in the background that I'm looking forward to being unveiled. 

Adrian L
Overall

Great premise and interesting worldbuilding, but pretty inconsistent personality of the main character is dragging my interest down.

While it is nice that the mc is not some kind of deus ex machina and can be plagued by indecision and depression, his hero complex and idiotic attempts at brute forcing an ineffective solution to the repeated disaster and death feels completely forced after multiple chapters (and deaths).

While the latest chapter hints at finally some plot progression beyond the first few chapters, the latest act of the main character putting himself in position of having his time loop power being stolen by a villain while he himself is aware of it just seals the deal for me. I'm not so willing to watch the mc flounder and self own himself through the next plot point for another 50 chapters or so. 

Exit_Plan
Overall

I do enjoy the story, but it suffers from the authors chronic problem. The main character is terrible. He's just an ass to everyone, and while there is some explanation for it, he just comes off as an asshole.

Spoiler for chapter 35

We get a flash back to when he was in high school and every part of his life is terrible. It feels like the author just wanted to explain why Loren is so mean and closed off, but not in a good way. He just this is supposed to make you sympathize with Loren but instead I'm rolling my eyes and laughing at how his life is somehow worse that Harry Potters. Everything that happens to him in that chapter is objectively horrible, but you don't care enough about Loren for it to mean something.

Achtland
Overall

The premise of this story is great and I had high hopes. Sadly it deteriorated quickly.

The main problem is, that the protagonist is extremely overpowered. The author balances that with making him incredibly dumb. He never once stop to think or make a plan, despite him having literally all the time in the world. Instead he only reacts on his unstable emotions, which he has no control over. He never understands that the main aspects of his powers are about time and information. He simply heads straight into the next action he can see, again and again, without learning from his mistakes. And despite him being the most incompetent superhero ever, I still cannot see him losing, because his powers are on a whole other level from anybody else. I won't find that out however, because reading this has become too painful for me.

While the other characters have a better grasp on their powers, they still are not able to make use of their powers to the full extent, dispite having years of training with them. They just default to the most obvious use and that's it.

I'm really sorry, that I cannot give this a higher score. I still recommend to give this a try if you prefer stories with a lot of action and dislike convoluted plots.