Bloodshard: Stolen Magic (COMPLETE)

Bloodshard: Stolen Magic (COMPLETE)

by Asviloka

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore

Magic cannot be given away or rejected; it is as permanent as life itself. Not that I'd know anything about that. Magic is both impossible to obtain and illegal for commoners like me.

So when I unexpectedly witnessed a brutal, deadly confrontation between two nobles, I assumed that was the closest to magic I'd ever get. Until I woke up the next morning with the unmistakable glow of power in my blood. My only hope is to hide who I am and somehow discover the truth of what happened that bloody night.

And, more importantly, why.

----

2020 nanowrimo project and [participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]

Completed March 2021

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Author
Asviloka

Asviloka

Just Add Magic!

Achievements
Golden Artist
Writathon Royal Road 2019 winner
750 Followers
Royal Writathon October 2021 winner
Word Count (16)
Royal Writathon April 2021 winner
Royal Writathon October 2020 winner
Royal Writathon April 2020 winner
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Reviews
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Andrev1408
Overall

A new gem, a blood gem, badommmm tssssss

Reviewed at: Fourteen

It is really well written and the new magic system is refreshing. I don't usually bother reviewing the books I like, but i have to do it this time. If I want the story to never be dropped it has to have readers, and you get that by good reviews. So here I am.

The book is really well written a lot better than the usual shit on this site, it does not follow the normal plot armour protagonist that never fail. It is a future gem that I implore you to read, for my sake so If not for your own. I don't want the book dropt.

Having that said the author has bin in to writing for many years and it shows. Everything seems well thought out so far.

Sorry for my unstructerd review. Please give the book a try🥺

swedneck
Overall

Very believable and organic

Reviewed at: Nineteen

I'm a huge fan of the Temeraire series for being so believable and integrating the fantasy aspect as just another part of life, and this story feels exactly the same in that regard.

We're not following the Chosen One (which is my main gripe with many stories on royalroad), rather it's just a random guy who happened upon some quite extraordinary circumstances and has his life flipped turned upside down.

As I write this I actually realize the two stories are very structurally similar, and i'm curious whether the author was in fact inspired by Temeraire or wheher it's simply great minds thinking alike.

XXVIII
Overall

Not what I expected but good

Reviewed at: 20: Metako

Oh definitely a good read. Not what I was expecting at all however. The main character is a young adult? Maybe 23+ or whatever. Expected a story revolved more around power exploration and fascination behind magic, frustration of the lower class etc. instead it's more of a self discovery noble world building focused novel. Still a nice read , but Idk not as satisfying as i had hoped 

Gentledragon
Overall

Compelling fantasy murder mystery

Reviewed at: 33: Challenge

Bloodshard fuses an interesting and unique world with a competently executed murder mystery. The aspect I enjoyed the most was the dynamic between the parallel noble society and their strange magics and the MC, who's hopelessly out of his depth involved in a conspiracy greater than him. The grammar is generally very good and I didn't notice any errors that adversely impacted the flow of the text or my enjoyment of it. The author writes concisely and evocatively; dialogue is especially good and always sounds genuine and fitting to the character of the speaker.

Overall I greatly enjoyed this story and don't have much of anything to criticise and would recommend it to any who find the theme interesting or enjoy either of the genres being fused. As of this review the killer has been revealed but the whys hows and so on haven't been fully teased out, which could affect my scoring of this story if I find them not up to the standard of the rest of the work. To the author, I commend you in your creation of a very interesting world and compelling characters and would be looking forward to further entries if they happen to be forthcoming. 

strigidae713
Overall

One of the most convoluted story I've finished

Reviewed at: 47: Resolutions

Convoluted is not a bad thing but considering English is not my first language and probably my complacency in reading fast without understanding the essence first failed me. But Ashviloka was true to his word. Astesh did a good job of portraying how nothing could turn into something if you have the drive. Even though it's a short journey but it told us a lot about a journey of life that I gladly appreciate, how the main character is not only feeble, but also humble and his drive is the only one saving him from giving up entirely on his life. The first novel I read with a little understanding towards the actual concept that I finished. 

The author brought us the perspective of an ignorant commoner which until the end still ignorant of the world around him. Beautifully done first person perspective that we only knew things that the main character knows. The ending was a perfect closure to a story even though really want it to continue, but I know that it had to end this way otherwise the story won't be just enough.

Bravo!!!!

 

samgrimes
Overall

The title of this review really says it all, but I'll add a few details.

The main character feels very realistic.  She's sometimes reactive, sometimes proactive.  Things are happening to her, but she's making plans and trying to do things as well.

The overarching plot had more depth than was immediately obvious.  It appears to be a murder mystery, but there's another series of events going on that is far more important.

No spoilers, though.

The writing is excellent and I spotted no grammatical errors.  That's a big deal, since errors pull me out of enjoying a story, and I thoroughly enjoyed this one.

Best of all, it's complete.

YAK Edge
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A mystery against the power fantasy

Reviewed at: 47: Resolutions

The synopsis summarizes the premise of Bloodshard: Stolen Magic perfectly, so I'm not going to spend much time on it and go to the nitty-gritty of my spoiler-free review.

Story: 4/5

The story is pretty much a murder mystery coated in a fantasy painting. As such, solving the mystery is what drives the story and the characters. Whodunnit, Whydunnit, and Howdunnit are the central questions that the story wishes to answer. And guessing alongside our MC Astesh, is quite a joy. While there are slums at some points, for the most part, the author lays enough breadcrumbs for the reader to continue the hunt and turn the virtual pages. I, for one, actually read half the story in one night because I wanted to know the answer to the riddle. And rest assured for the reader, all three answers will be answered. While some other aspects need more elaboration, those coming for the murder mystery will be more than satisfied.
Though the pacing can at times be rather slogging. Likewise, the ending and final confrontation with the villain are of lesser quality compared to the parts before. 

But the story's also set in a fictional fantasy world. Time not spent on character development/relationships or the mystery is time spent on world-building and exploration. And boy, is there a lot. Astesh's homeworld is brimming with lore, tidbits, and customs, and a mystery not completely related to the murder that feels much bigger than the story of Astesh. The hints regarding the world's backstory are fascinating and would invite readers to come back to a sequel to learn more about the world.

But this fascinating world can, at times, hurt the story as finding a balance between world-building and mystery solving is difficult, and the author doesn't always hit the landing.

Characters 4/5

Astesh is an MC who is most certainly different from the usual MCs one finds here in similar novels. They aren't interested in learning magic. They aren't interested in getting more powerful. No, they just want their life back and continue their small existence in peace. It's so realistic and what most normal people would do in Astesh's situation and just a fresh breeze from all the power fantasy protagonists. While Astesh does learn magic and get some power, this isn't a power fantasy. It's about our MC trying to find their lot in life, their place in the world, and going against that which seems natural to one. Astesh is a classical anti-hero. They are scared, timid, and way out of their depths. And while there are moments where I wanted to smack them in the head, their behavior is never out of character. And Astesh grows. By the end of the story, I can definitely say that Astesh's journey feels complete.

Besides Astesh, we also have Pelys, the deuteragonist of the story, and the complete opposite of Astesh. He's direct, confrontational, and extroverted. As such, he fulfills those roles that Astesh is incapable of. Like Astesh, he's a rounded and complex character as well, and when the story ends, his story feels complete as well.

The side characters are all unique and fascinating. The biggest issue would be that there are perhaps too many of them, and not all of them can get explored as much as they would deserve. A problem that's most noticeable with the antagonists and Pelys' companions.


Style 3/5
Bloodshard: Stolen Magic is, from a technical standpoint well written. But it's noticeable that it was written during the writhalon. The story at times lacks focus. Especially, the later parts could benefit from more meat, as it's often the case with marathon stories. And the lore can at times be suffocating. At times, it feels like an avalanche of lore gets thrown at the reader.
Nonetheless, that the story still is of better quality than the average on RR, despite being written during the writahlon, speak for itself. And I've to say it again. It was a good read.

Grammar 5/5
I noticed zero issues here.


All in all, does the story need an edit? Yes. Do I recommend it? Hell yes. 

'Ladi Williams
Overall

Not at all how I expected cited it to end...

Reviewed at: 47: Resolutions

I  really enjoyed it. 

And now it's complete it's easier to binge read without waiting for next chapter.

I especially like that the author took the time and effort to answer "almost" all the lingering questions at the end of the story. 

It was a lil meandering at times but overall an enjoyable story. I hope you enjoy it too. 

baelrath
Overall

A Journey of Introspection + Magic

Reviewed at: 47: Resolutions

Now that the story is complete, i can say its worth the read. 

The magic system is a rather unique one. Fresh. Closest id liken it to is The Black Prism of Brent Weeks or Keys of the Kingdom by Garth Nix. Its power based on the color it is in the light spectrum, various strengths and weaknesses to each color with each person generally have a boost to a color or two.

Now to the story: While the power is the means through which this story is brought to light, pun intended, its completely secondary.

As a whole this novel focuses on the character as they struggle to adapt to a world they don't feel they belong to. Heavy on the introspection and doubt, this isn't a flashy OP protag novel. Its main goal is to give you the mental state of the character as they are pushed and prodded from where they were comfortable to entirely out of their comfort zone.

Given that the end justifies the means, i can safely say that if you struggle at the slower pace sometimes, it ends well and is worth it.

 

Crimson253
Overall

Well written and flows very well

Reviewed at: 44: Fallen

I am not really one for reviews usually but I have really enjoyed the story and I owe the author the review for having read it for free. 

To start off, grammar is good, no obvious mistakes and the sentence structures are really well constructed. The sentences flow from one to the other and it is very easy to read an entire chapter without feeling bored, which is a flaw that many other stories tend to have.

The story is very cohesive and not hard to keep track of, very obviously an element of the story actually being planned by the author beforehand. It's quite pleasing to see that there is an ending in sight and that it is not being dragged on like many other stories tend to do so on this site.

Furthermore, I really like to see some flawed characters in stories and our protagonist in this fiction tends to make many mistakes as well as have character development with the reader being more immersed in what will happen next rather then get annoyed.

In conclusion, bibbity boppity, story is a prodigy among this site of atrocity. (hehe, rhymed that)

Well done author!