A note from Fuggmann

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. Any similarities between real people, living or dead, or places, standing or demolished, in this story are just coincidence.

I am an animal lover, but not exactly an expert. Some biology and behavior referenced in the story may not be 100% accurate, or might even be outright pseudoscience.

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A big thanks to NurseBold and Nicolas H for being patrons.

"Day two of being a trainer. Or is it day one? We'll call it two. I've finished giving Vulpix as good a physical as I can without tools or monitoring equipment. She is within the acceptable standards of a canid her size without much significant deviation, her internal temperature and muscle density being the only significant outliers. More on that later. I didn't bother with much cognitive or any intelligence testing. Vulpix was alert and aware during the physical even if she was bored to death. Any intelligence test I could have given would have been outright demeaning to her and easily solved. Suffice to say she is smarter than most of the people I know and probably smarter than myself as well."

The sound pauses for several seconds.

"Let it be known that the crafty fox is still susceptible to a well-placed belly rub and her heart of gold taking pity on hopeless humans. Vulpix's muscle density is incredible. She's like a wall when her muscles are tensed and I know for a fact she is much physically stronger than I pound for pound, and probably just outright stronger than myself or anyone of similar size despite the weight difference. I'll need actual equipment and not just hand-n-eyeball estimates to be sure. Her skin temperature seems to be around one-hundred ten Fahrenheit. Utterly feverish for a person, but very comfortable for her. I don't have an accurate gauge for internal temperature, but just from feeling her breath, I can estimate somewhere close to...At least one-hundred-fifty degrees Fahrenheit. Again, doing this without tools so actual numbers may vary. I'll probably do another physical if Vulpix is feeling up to it in a week's time to confirm these estimates. Lee, out."

"Log two, day seven. I've finished Vulpix's second physical, this time aided by equipment I've acquired from the local Pokemart. The results of the physical are in line with my prior observations. Her average skin temperature is one-hundred-twelve point four degrees Fahrenheit, with internal temp resting at about one-hundred-eighty one point seven, both in the average range of the Vulpix line according to my research. Once I devise some tests, I'll be giving her supernatural strength a tryout to get some baselines."

"While I am satisfied with her current health, her ongoing health I am still planning for. One thing I've found lacking is store-bought pokemon food. The 'league recommended' brands all have a serious lack of nutritional information available, some only giving estimates while others use 'an optimal blend of meats, veggies, and berries' as some sort of sidestep. I don't trust like that. I would not feed any animal in my care something I myself would not eat, and I'm sure as hell not trusting Vulpix's health to something that cannot even give me an ingredient list. I've made full preparation to produce her food myself. If Vulpix is an omnivore like mundane vulpines, and I'm sure she is, then her diet plan should be an easy build."

"...Don't look at me like that, love. I mean 'diet' in a nutritionist sense, not a 'you're overweight' sense. You're as fit and beautiful as they come and I want you to stay that way."

"Anyway, we were training outside with Vulpix's moveset earlier. We've made good progress on tightening the spread of Ember, which I suspect will be Vulpix's main projectile attack until she learns Flamethrower. Even then, Ember should be a good fallback in the event that Flamethrower becomes too energy-consuming from some reason, like in a long battle. Strong foundations and all that. I have noticed something odd, however. Like most fire pokemon, Vulpix launches her attack from her mouth, taking a short time to charge before actually shooting. Although she breathes in to charge, her exhale is inconsistent with the potency of the attack, Ember, in this case."

"I've found a surprising lack of information on pokemon physical training regimens outside of the obvious 'battle a diverse range of pokemon'. Why? I have no idea. I'll have to adapt something for Vulpix. An obstacle course or something? Eh, it's a start."

"We also battled Brendan and his starter, Mudkip today. Despite his type advantage, Mudkip found himself defeated by Vulpix. I admit I was... reluctant to be aggressive during this battle to Vulpix's ire. I guess I still have a few old hangups about animals being harmed. Mudkip's swift recovery definitely sets my mind at ease. I forgot just how hardy pokemon are. Anyway, that's it for now. Lee, out.

"Log three, day... Which day again?"

"Vulpix Vul!"

"Right, right, day eighteen. I meant to do this log earlier, but so much has happened recently that I sort of lost myself in the excitement. A lot is going on, so I'll try and condense this down to the main points. The main main one? Vulpix's pyrokinesis."

"I can scarcely believe it. A fluke of observation and a vaguely recalled reference from a fake Pokedex entry lead to this. I've searched far and wide, through books and the internet, but the reports of the phenomena seems limited to legends of ancient Ninetales on out-of-date occult websites. How no one has discovered this, I have no idea. I'm suddenly thinking the secondary fairy typing of the Alola Ninetales may apply to the usual Vulpix line as well, at least in part. I'll how to put in some more research in order to learn how to test this. As for practical use, it took several days of meditation and attempted practice for us to realize how much of a willpower and emotional component there is to the pyrokinesis. Vulpix can focus as hard as she likes, but if she doesn't want it, then nothing will happen. I sort of expected a more, I dunno, structured activation, but this lends some credit to my minor fairy typing theory. Vulpix, with the appropriate motivation, can induce spontaneous combustion on flammable materials. Tests with a laser thermometer find that the combustion truly is spontaneous, as there is no discernable heat source being applied to the test media, yet the temperature rapidly rises to ignition when Vulpix so wills it. Testing with her move set is still ongoing, but with the sharp improvement to Ember and Fire Spin's power and accuracy, it's obvious Vulpix is already applying what she's learned to her techniques. Proud of you, love."


"Moving on. I'm still experimenting with Vulpix's diet. The first few rounds made a solid base but proved a bit lacking in calorie count. I failed to account for Vulpix's supernatural abilities, high brain activity, and training meaning a higher rate of calorie burn. My original mix consisted of a base of 85/15 ground beef and eggs for protein and fatty acids, wild rice for carbs and starches, diced carrots, broccoli, peas, and cauliflower for fiber and a medley of vitamins and minerals, a few slivers of supplements for anything I missed, and finally a few pinches of spices for taste. Certainly better than the premix garbage, right love?"


"Heh. I started by giving her about one and a half cups a day divided into two meals, about six-hundred calories worth total. When she began to tire the next day during training, we went up to two cups, roughly nine-hundred calories. Again, she began to tire out about halfway through the day. Three cups was better, but Vulpix still petered out early. That's when it hit me. At first, I was worried and thought I was doing something wrong, as the helpings I was giving her were much larger than the premix servings she was eating, so I began to research berries as a potential way to overcome this. At the same time, I upped Vulpix's meals to four and a half cups a day, over two-thousand calories, doubtful she could eat it all, yet she did so without any discomfort. Shows I've still got a lot to learn about pokemon..."

"Anyway, I suspect that normal premix food is a huge helping of carbs for energy with some supplements thrown in to meet minimum nutritional requirements, as it's the only way I can explain Vulpix being able to function a full day on a smaller amount of food. Vulpix certainly hasn't protested the menu change, so we'll stick to it and see. Lee, out."

"Log four, day twenty-five. It's only been a week or so since my last update. Vulpix's pyrokinesis continuously makes small but steady improvements. The newfound control of her fire means Vulpix can fire her Embers in a thin stream or a wide cone. She can even control the trajectory of the Embers after they've been fired. Actually manifesting flames still seems beyond her, but I'm certain we'll figure it out and be inventing new moves soon enough."

"Vulpix is still responding well to hand-made food. Her performance is showing noticeable improvements now, as she broke her previous best time on the rudimentary obstacle course I made for her by a full second. She's also gained about an eighth of a pound, but I could not feel any formation of fat on her body when I felt for it. I'll keep an eye on that, but I have doubts that its unhealthy fat gain considering her daily exercise. I did alter her diet a tiny bit after I made some headway on my study of berries."

"Berries must be some sort of miracle material, as their properties simply boggle my mind. If what various sources I've looked into are correct, Oran promotes bodily homeostasis with a jolt of near-instantly digested energy and acts as a mild, non-addictive pain killer on top of being naturally antibiotic, antiviral, antiseptic, and sweet on the tongue."

"Pardon my french, but that is fucking bonkers. If the Oran existed back home, it would be hailed as the end-all, be-all natural cure for everything from being ugly to stage-4 cancer."

"But the Sitrus berry makes the Oran's ability look like a common party trick. I didn't believe what I read at first and had to look around to other sources to make sure someone wasn't pranking me. One bite of Sitrus induces full-blown cellular regeneration. Not cell division, actual regeneration of dead and damaged cells and the spontaneous generation of new, healthy cells at a rate I want to call impossible. I can't even process that. That's...Look, professor, I know these logs are for you, but holy shit I need to get my thoughts down. That is so fucking insane to me, it quite literally is a miracle. I'm not a terribly religious man, but that kind of thing fucks with you... It also explains the obscene price tag on some berries. Almost ten grand for a single grade A Lum berry? Kiss my ass."

"Okay, okay, on with the relevant stuff. After making sure mixing Oran with other foods didn't cause some sort of strange reaction, I've been adding Oran slivers to Vulpix's food. They're well mixed in to promote a gradual release of the enzymes responsible for their special properties. I'm hoping the added Oran promotes muscle recovery post-training and mental acuity for her pyro powers. That's it for today. Lee, out."

"Log five, day thirty. All the shit with Team Rocket and Ash has concluded and I'm sitting in bed. We got our first taste of combat with a high-leveled pokemon, no matter how brief it was. Even delirious, Pikachu proved himself to be a real danger. His Thunderbolt nearly fried Vulpix even with telepathy cutting order and reaction time to almost nothing."

"Oh yeah. Recently, Vulpix and I have been taking advantage of the Vulpix line's minor psychic abilities and have been practicing to incorporate telepathic communication into our style. Telepathy is... Strange. There are no words, just urges and feelings. After recalling yet another gamedex entry, I had Vulpix read my mind when we first met so she could verify my story. That's where her heart of gold showed and she decided to help me rather than leave the crazy human and take off. Ah, right there. Love, don't contort your pretty face with that frown, I can feel your anger just fine. I know you would never leave me. So, back to the battle. Issuing a command and strategizing via telepathy is infinitely faster than doing so verbally. Something I've found is that I can 'overshadow' Vulpix in a manner. I can plug myself into her senses in a minor way, see what she sees, hear what she hears. I can't exert any control over her, nor would I want to, but I can add my focus, my emotion to her, magnifying her powers. Some might see this as profoundly intimate, but I've already laid my soul bare to her before, and she didn't find me wanting then. If I was ever so close to anyone, I'm glad it's Vulpix."

"I'd say more, but... I'm tired. I'll try to update again soon. Lee, out."

"Log six, day thirty-fi- no, thirty-six. The clock just struck midnight. I'm tired as all hell so we'll keep this short. Brendan and I had our first real crisis today. A pissed Manectric blew out the entire Oldale Pokemon Center's electrical system and triggered a huge fire. Vulpix and I ran into an unexpected weakness in her pyrokinesis while helping to put out the fire. We tried to pull the oxygen away from the flames to extinguish large areas at once. It simply kept slipping. Vulpix and I opened our telepathic channel as wide as we dared and I added all my brainpower to hers, but still manipulating the oxygen escaped us. In a desperate bid, we tried pulling the flames away from the Center and then releasing control, and to the surprise of both of us, it worked. The previously flaming area was left fire-free, so I had Brendan and Mudkip soak the spots we put out to stop re-ignition. Using that method, we helped the fire department put out the external fires, which left the still burning inside. Officer Jenny and her Azumarill were taking their sweet time, having rushed in to evacuate any people or pokemon still trapped. After mulling it over, Vulpix and I went inside.

"I gotta admit, seeing all the fire reminded me off... a less pleasant time, but Vulpix and I powered through. We found the previously mentioned Manectric cornering Jenny, Azumarill, and a Center intern in the egg nursery."

Professor, this Manectric had to have been tall enough to look me in the eye. Cracking fur, enraged eyes, the whole nine yards. This was not a fight a battered Azumarill and Vulpix could have won. I was convinced for a moment we were about to die, as Manectric clearly had no problem attacking humans considering Jenny had electrical burns. Then Vulpix noticed the intern was clutching an Electrike egg and informed me that Manectric was female."

"A pissed mom. I've unfortunately run into these before. I know this is what you're wanting most, professor, so I'll try to be detailed."

"She wasn't thinking clearly and zeroed in on me, now the largest thing in the room. I averted my eyes and slowly lowered myself in a way most canines would recognize as submissive. Being careful to not bare my teeth, lest she taking it as an act of aggression, I spoke in a soft voice, informing her that she was superior in this situation and that we acknowledged that she was wronged by the theft. Thankfully, she knew English and/or was able to read my tone and eased herself down a little more with every assurance. The intern was reluctant to give me the egg, saying it was slated to go to Professor Sycamore, but potential death via electrocution convinced her to make the smart choice. I set the egg down at a halfway point and let Manectric inspect it. She apparently found everything to her liking, as she took the egg and left without incident."

"The Mayor of Oldale was nice enough to get Brendan and myself hotel rooms for the trouble, now if you don't mind, I need some fucking sleep. Lee, out."

Nigel Birch leans back into his chair in his office within the Little Root Lab, staring at the ceiling with his mind running a million miles a minute.

Less than two months. In less than two months his newest lab trainer, a man displaced through dimensions, has shed light on several mysteries and probably kickstarted new fields of research.

Why has no Vulpix before displayed these powers? Does the Vulpix line actually have some fairy in them? And using telepathy mid-battle? Sharing senses? Psychics all over said sense sharing couldn't be done by anything less than a Legendary using brute force. It was impossible. Humans and Pokemon were just too different in their mental makeup, and yet...

"All from looking at things a little differently..." Birch mumbles to himself, still lost in his own swirling thoughts. Then the final log jumps out at him again.

'Lee should be dead.' Birch can't bring himself to say it aloud. A single bead of cold sweat runs down his brow. 'Manectric are vicious, unpredictable pokemon at the best of times. A mother out to recover a stolen egg? She should have attacked. All logic says she would be on a warpath.' Birch lets out a shaking breath. 'Being submissive, is that all it takes? No. There has to be more to it. Lee took an extraordinary amount of caution, but most pokemon would just see it as a useless platitude.'

Birch looks out the window in his office, watching a small formation of Tailow fly by.

"Lee, what did you do differently?" He murmurs aloud.


About the author


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  • Inventor of Sex 2

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