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The world is not always as beautiful and forgiving as one would imagine, and Korra Grey, a young florist, who is abducted by a creature of the children's books, finds herself in another world quickly learning that life can be even crueler than she thought.
After more than a year of pain and suffering in the madman's cellar, she gets what she sought the most, freedom. Though changed by cruelty she suffered. Either she learns to live with the mutations or finds a way to reverse them while she struggles to find her own place in a world utterly unknown to her, hunted not only by the nightmares of her past.
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A good command of the language and a decent setting are the main draws of this story. I like the fairly unique isekai premise and the double-edged "power-ups" that the MC gains, as well.
Unfortunately, the characters are entirely two-dimensional. Evil characters are always bad, good characters are always good, and any neutral character is an extra. The story is honestly an enjoyable read as a slice-of-life without much story progression, but the instant the stakes get raised, the illusion fails. To maintain character believability, there must be some real depth to their thoughts and actions---otherwise the R-rated setting feels inadequately paired with a preteen novel's puppets.
This is meant as editorial suggestions for the author. I'd recommend you pick a maturity level and apply it across the board. I'm sure some readers won't find it to be an issue, but I find it unbearable to be introduced a new "bad guy" at the end of a chapter just to be given a brutal cliffhanger with no foreseeable payoff (beyond the MC getting tortured, enslaved, or otherwise abused in the next chapter) due to the predictably evil dude.
Thanks for the hard work and otherwise enjoyable read. I hope this is of some value to you.
This could be a good story. However this one has -imo - a higher chance of hiatus before it gets anywhere interesting.
So far we are like 80 chapters (2 weeks time in story) and over a year of writing for the author. The protagonist has gained ~2 levels and is still as weak as in the beginning. So in a few years writing the story might get to the juicy parts if the author keeps motivation and current pace.
With the slice of life genre this slow pacing usually is not an issue, as it focuses on entertaining with light hearted content from time to time and story progression is not needed.
However the tragic adventure we have here is story driven and doesn't mix well with slow pacing and severals cliffs you will find as a life reader. It gets really frustrating.
Maybe some timeskips or toning down on amount of slice of life chapters might be advisable to increase the tempo.
This is a good story and I am very much enjoying reading it. Its main character is very compelling and those around her are well made and easy to like. the antagonists are likewise believable and seeing them fail to chain the main character feels very satisfying. I would say if you like fantasy with a system this is a must-read.
The concept is superb and unique. the worldbuilding is ... I´ll get back to you on that one. The main character is truly taken from an anime/manga in the sense that it is beautifully achieved as unreal and childish. The approach on the character is human enough to a point, in a sense that considers hope beyond the tragedy. If a little slow, to elaborate on that, and with all of my love and encouragement to the author, for I AM trying to help you improve this potentially awesome story, not insult you in any way.
At some point, the emotional rambling becomes so repetitive that I have to wonder whether if the MC is actually retarded, later in the story i deemed her so. Her choices, opinions, and focus, reactions are so surreal that the whole story is heavily forced. There is always the villain, the hero, and the victim, evidently the MC is always the victim, but in a real human story, in the real world, there is never such a thing as dark or white, every sapient individual is moved by a mixure of biological, psicological, and economical/polítical motives. Thus every character HAS to become more complex: why help her, why continue to helper despite her brattiness and the need in a medieval society to avoid conflict with higher echelons and to work to eat. I tried, i mean really tried!, but i can't help but feel that the MC actually enjoyed her slavery, is as privileged as one can get but most importantly for the story: SHE DOESN'T ENVOLVE, LEARN FROM HER MISTAKES, bear her traumas ... I would highly recommend on catching up on some articles on the psychological state of kidnaped, raped, torture victims and what they did with their lives, their fears, and resentments. So far all we have seen is "a brat", i mean one of her motives is returning to earth .... a half fox/bird/deer/lion human, how do you think that will go? this is a common mistake of authors in these kinds of novels. "We" as in describing everything in the universe are a byproduct of causality and THEN our choices, thus romanticizing the world and ignoring the causality waves every event our MC is a part in said world, just inhibits it from becoming something more real we can connect with, making a cartoon out of it, whether their absolute ignorance of how rough on the edges society is on underdeveloped countries, lack of historical research, or, well, a complete disregard for how truly medieval societies worked. the end result is a children's story.
To summarise because i'm getting lazy (sorry) you have a super concept, you need to rewrite it, do a little research here and there, mainly stop thinking of women as entitled "walking damsel in distress syndrome bundles", interview successful badass women, perhaps also a female ex-conn, historical research on medieval societies. Also reading some great post-WWII authors such as ana frank will help you a lot in establishing more realistic archetypes for your characters as well as progressing in your story...
PLEASE DON'T DROP IT, I LOVE THE POTENTIAL YOUR STORY HAS, and sorry if my review might seem a little aggressive, i promise I'm trying to help you
Lament of a slave is a grammatically well written story thats solid flow can drag the reader into its world. That world happens to be an incredibly dreary one.
Seperating itself from the standard format of this genre, our isekai charachter is not some lucky individual with a second chance at life but rather a victim of inter-dimensional slave trading/kidnappery. Treated as an object since her relocation the level of abuse recieved has left her reliant on an incredibly overleved willpower skill just to keep herself functional showing numerous signs of depression and breakdown.
What makes the story even more heartbreaking is that despite enduring this, characthers fail to recognise the severity of her suffering, dont care, or have other priorities. Rather then taking time to recover or atleast address her issues, the MC is forced to constantly fight for her life in an environment surrounded by 'good people'. Positive events are not driven by emotional desires of the MC but rather the absent of any other non-terrible option. This is not to say the situation is unrealistic but you can only read so much before it starts hitting you.
In terms of pacing, the story feels incredibly slow. In world, by chapter 60 we are only about a week and a half in since her escape. In that time alot has happened but each event is so heavily explored it can be a bit 'tedious'. This story is definately not the typical 'look at numbers going up' or 'hey have another cool power' that alot of LITRPGs do.
In all, definately see why the story keep trending. Its a quality work worth a read even if it is incredibly depressing.
I'm really enjoying this story. The world building is great as is the character development. There are fairly substantial problems with grammar and spelling with many small mistakes, but it's easy enough to read past those to enjoy the story. I'd recommend running the text through a spellcheck or grammar checker (Google docs or Grammarly for example).
I hope to see many more chapters
I read about 40 pages of this. To be honest, its basically a standard isekai, except for the character's background. You've read this before. On a technical level, though, it's... strange. I honestly can't tell if the author is ESL, or if they intentionally wrote it like this. It kind of reads like a badly translated foreign novel. I'm never sure if it's on purpose or just a failure to communicate l.
First thing that I want to get out of the way is the overuse of exclamation marks(!). I don't think that i'll exaggerate when I say that every 5th sentence on average in a conversation has an exclamation mark. Even outside of conversations it's not that better. In my head when someone uses an exclamation mark it's because they shout, or yell, maybe hiss in anger, or yelp in surprise, they can exclaim in fear or pleasure. But that's not the case here. It's especially ridiculous when the characters are having a converstation in a library where one of the main rules of behavior is to stay quiet and you have exclamation marks galore. The only thing that this overuse leads to, is that when character really do exclaim something it doesn't have the same impact because of it.
On to other things, when I say that it's too slow I mean that after 45 chapter or 534 pages I'm still not sure what this story is trying to be. At first I thought it might be a revenge story. A girl gets kidnapped, experimented on, mutated into human-beast hybrid, escapes, and than she uses her newfound power that she got from her torturer, to go back and destroy everyone responsible. It would have been poetic, but it's not what this story is about. Than I thought it might be about a girl lost in a new world and after traumatic experience finally gets her freedom, to try and lead a peaceful life. To heal her mental wounds, make new friendships, to find a place in this new and strange world, to find a home.
And after 45 chapter or 534 pages I'm still not sure what this story is trying to be, because nothing really happend so far. My expectations might have been influenced by Action and Adventure tags, but so far she is as weak now as she was in the first chapter. There are hints about action and adventure but considering the pace so far, it might happen in 3 chapter or it might happen in 30, you can't really know. I gave up on the idea that this is a story about mental healing, friends and friendships because after 45 chapter she is almost in the same spot that she was in chapter one. She knows more people but they are not her friends. There are no meaningful relationships, companionships or any other ships. Some are used as simple exposition dumps, other are as useless towards the plot and the story as ants that we step on without noticing on our way to the car.
Most of the time we are traped in the MCs head while she is telling us how she is scared, angry, distrustful and/or paranoid depending on the situation. But after the third time I think we all got how she feels in her new life. In almost every conversation there are paragraphs on how scared she is, what her life on Earth was like, In almost every situation there are paragraphs on how much she trembles, how her palms are sweaty, knees weak...
In my opinion it would be better after the first few times to just discribe how she walks. Is her head held high, back straight, arms relaxed, tail swooshing behind her without a worry, or is she looking down, hands and wings close to her body, tail wraped around her leg, afraid of getting close to other people. How does she talk to other people, is she maintaining an eye contact or is she looking away, stuttering or talking confidently. Simple and short descriptions like that could convey everything that is repeated in almost every chapter ad nauseam.
The more I read, the more frustrated I got because all of the building blocks for a great story are here, and yet we are getting nowhere. It's like the author is stuck in an ocean with no land in sight, so he picks a random direction and swims but nothing changes. So he picks another direction swinging and trying to prevent inevitable drowning.
These 534 pages are not too bad and maybe when there are another 2000, this novel might actually be worth reading, but considering that so far only a week has passed, i'm not sure that another month is going to change that much and keep the realism that it's trying to create.
I really can't recommend reading this, only read this if you don't mind the glacial pacing. Consider yourselfs warned.
As good as they come.15ish hours across 2 days. Loved every moment of it. Couldn't pull my eyes away even as late as 6 in the morning. Sad there isn't more. Was devistated to see I was at the end of what was available. I will be following and anticipating.
This story gets dark. When the main character feels afraid of something, you know exactly why. As she gets to a betterplace, it means something because that dark past wasn't just "the past", but something we read as it happened, even if relatively briefly. If you're looking for a story of somebody getting out of a dark situation and growing both in power and mentally, this is for you.