Lament of the Slave

by Nirrvash

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

The world is not always as beautiful and forgiving as one would imagine. The young girl finds herself face to face with this cruel reality when she is summoned into the hands of a madman. After months of terror in a dark cellar, she finds her freedom again. However, her body is irrevocably altered, and her mind is broken. Can she find her place in a world unknown to her? Will she be able to return her body to its original form? Or will she learn to live with it? Can she even live with what she experienced in the cellar? Follow Korra as she struggles to find her own place in the new world.

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  • Pages :
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Nirrvash

Nirrvash

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John Dovey
Overall

I'm really enjoying this story. The world building is great as is the character development. There are fairly substantial problems with grammar and spelling with many small mistakes, but it's easy enough to read past those to enjoy the story. I'd recommend running the text through a spellcheck or grammar checker (Google docs or Grammarly for example).

I hope to see many more chapters

Faeron
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Mature setting with juvenile characters

Reviewed at: Chapter 18: Florist

A good command of the language and a decent setting are the main draws of this story. I like the fairly unique isekai premise and the double-edged "power-ups" that the MC gains, as well.

Unfortunately, the characters are entirely two-dimensional. Evil characters are always bad, good characters are always good, and any neutral character is an extra. The story is honestly an enjoyable read as a slice-of-life without much story progression, but the instant the stakes get raised, the illusion fails. To maintain character believability, there must be some real depth to their thoughts and actions---otherwise the R-rated setting feels inadequately paired with a preteen novel's puppets.

This is meant as editorial suggestions for the author. I'd recommend you pick a maturity level and apply it across the board. I'm sure some readers won't find it to be an issue, but I find it unbearable to be introduced a new "bad guy" at the end of a chapter just to be given a brutal cliffhanger with no foreseeable payoff (beyond the MC getting tortured, enslaved, or otherwise abused in the next chapter) due to the predictably evil dude. 

Thanks for the hard work and otherwise enjoyable read. I hope this is of some value to you.

All in Vane
Overall

It is too early for an in-depth review, but I like it so far. The mc is interesting and is (not) handling the pretty extreme trauma in a believable way. The world isn’t really fleshed out so far, but it has some interesting cultural aspects. The posting speed is unfortunately quite slow, but there are enough unique aspects to keep me hooked. 

vaylent
Overall

I read about 40 pages of this. To be honest, its basically a standard isekai, except for the character's background. You've read this before. On a technical level, though, it's... strange. I honestly can't tell if the author is ESL, or if they intentionally wrote it like this. It kind of reads like a badly translated foreign novel. I'm never sure if it's on purpose or just a failure to communicate l.