The Perfect Run

by Void Herald

The Perfect Run is now available on Amazon Kindle

Ryan "Quicksave" Romano is an eccentric adventurer with a strange power: he can create a save-point in time and redo his life whenever he dies. Arriving in New Rome, the glitzy capital of sin of a rebuilding Europe, he finds the city torn between mega-corporations, sponsored heroes, superpowered criminals, and true monsters. It's a time of chaos, where potions can grant the power to rule the world and dangers lurk everywhere. 

Ryan only sees different routes; and from Hero to Villain, he has to try them all. Only then will he achieve his perfect ending... no matter how many loops it takes.

The Perfect Run updates on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Cover by Vitaly S. Alexius

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Author
Void Herald

Void Herald

Internet-powered Wizard

Achievements
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5,000,000 Views
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Word Count (17)
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
1: Quicksave ago
2: Story Branching ago
3: Men of Honor ago
4: Random Encounter ago
5: Mission Accomplished ago
6: Divergence Point ago
7: Rust Town ago
8: Past Fragment: Len ago
9: The Made Men ago
10: Heroes & Villains ago
11: Railroading ago
12: Corporate Heroes ago
13: Batman & Robin ago
14: Field Work ago
15: Good Karma ago
16: Secret Enemies ago
17: The Hidden Route ago
18: Acid Rain ago
19: The Right Road ago
20: Past Fragment: Under the Sea ago
21: The Rehearsals ago
22: Speech Checks ago
23: The Reunion ago
24: Transition ago
25: Never Enuff Dakka ago
26: FPS ago
27: Past Fragment: The Crimes of Augustus ago
28: Suicide Run ago
29: The Rampage ago
30: Bites the Dust ago
31: Knight of Faith ago
32: Change of Plans ago
33: Black Swan ago
34: Hit and Run ago
35: Pre-Party ago
36: Color Rave ago
37: The War of the Suit ago
38: The Olympians ago
39: Court of the Lightning King ago
40: Past Fragment: Mechron's Last Stand ago
41: Past Fragment: The Darkness Beyond ago
42: Progress Made ago
43: The Ghost of Drug Island ago
44: Return of the Corpo ago
45: Blood in the Water ago
46: Chekhov's Gun ago
47: While Rome Burns ago
48: Bad End ago
49: Time and Again ago
50: Past Fragment: How to Tame Your Plushie ago
51: Route Split ago
52: Chance Meetings ago
53: Fashion Disaster ago
54: A Gambling Man ago
55: The Future Past ago

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Interesting world marred by an unlikeable MC

Reviewed at: 2: Story Branching

TL;DR Don't let the plethora of rave reviews by this author's fanboys fool you. If you like intelligent, thoughtful, or sympathetic MC's this story is not for you. I explain exactly why, in detail, below. 

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The prose and grammar are good. And the world building is interesting. It is set in an alternate earth with superpowers and near-future sci-fi tech you typically see in fictions with super heroes. The problem is the MC. 

MC acts in stupid or suboptimal ways because he is easily bored. This makes him less than sympathetic, as it really feels like a waste of this powers.

As an example, in the very first chapter, he's shot to death by a superpowered gang enforcer who is after the owner of the bar he's just made a delivery to. So he loads his save, then drives through the front of the bar with his car to run over the superpowered Assassin before beating him to death with a bat. Sounds kind of badass right?

Except that he then has to bribe the shit out of the bar owner to have him testify to the cops that he was helping. He also needs to pay for repairs. Then he has to bribe the shit out of the cops so they don't arrest him for being a vigilante because he isn't a licensed hero or law enforcer. He ends up spending several times the money that the delivery job earned him.

This dude has all the time in the world to make decisions because he can load quicksaves in real life. Yet one part of this entire encounter perfectly encapsulates his idiocy and thoughtlessness. After hitting the guy with the car, he goes to the trunk of his car and stands there contemplating what weapon to pull out on the guy as the guy is struggling to get up, running through multiple weapons in his head.

Yea... The thing his, his save/load point was 2 hours before the enforcer showed up. He was camped in front of the bar for a good while waiting for the enforcer to show up. Yet in all that time, he didn't think about what weapon he'd use after driving through the bar with the car. He had to wait until he was in the middle of a confrontation with a superpowered combatant to start thinking about it. Hell, he could have intercepted the enforcer outside of the bar or in a way that produced less collateral damage so he wouldn't have had to bribe so many people. Yet despite all of the additional subjective time he must have experienced through his powers, he does not act more mature than his age. Instead, he acts like a wacky hyperactive toddler. 

It almost makes the title and Synopsis of the story a lie. He's looking for the perfect run? In what universe was the outcome of this encounter anywhere near perfect or ideal? Why would he even attempt to do it this way if perfection was what he sought? 

Even his costume is self-admittedly impractical for fighting. But he wears it because it looks good. 

In the very next chapter, the opening lines talks about how he does his tinkering in boxers because clothes represent conformity, and taking his clothes off represents freeing himself from the constraints society imposes on him. What utter hipster nonsense. Eccentricity for eccentricity's sake. Experimenting with weaponized gadgets requires PPE. Especially, as he himself put it, he hates loading in quick succession to solve for things. 

In other words, the MC is a grandstanding idiot more concerned with dick waving, face-slapping, and standing apart from the crowd than prudence. For anyone who has read Outer Spheres, he's like a post time-skip Garth. Poor impulse control. No foresight. No prudence. And a grade schooler could use his power in smarter ways than he does. 

Reader 24
Overall

I found the first chapter annoying to read due to the poor writing. A quick proofread would fix some of the obvious issues. 

Story is a bit rough but interesting. 

Maybe the quality increases as the story progresses, but I think i'll pass. Not worth my time, when the author isn't putting enough deligence into his craft.