The Perfect Run
by Void Herald
The Perfect Run is now available on Amazon Kindle.
Ryan "Quicksave" Romano is an eccentric adventurer with a strange power: he can create a save-point in time and redo his life whenever he dies. Arriving in New Rome, the glitzy capital of sin of a rebuilding Europe, he finds the city torn between mega-corporations, sponsored heroes, superpowered criminals, and true monsters. It's a time of chaos, where potions can grant the power to rule the world and dangers lurk everywhere.
Ryan only sees different routes; and from Hero to Villain, he has to try them all. Only then will he achieve his perfect ending... no matter how many loops it takes.
The Perfect Run updates on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Cover by Vitaly S. Alexius.
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I'll start out with the characters because I feel that this story lucks any good quality for them to be good.
The characters really only have a few quakes to distinct them from any of the other characters and most of the time this just makes them feel really hollow and kinda unrealistic. Especially when they interact with the MC right from the get-go they all just swarm him with quite unrealistic attention and the actions that follow.
For example ''Wyvern'' Mets our MC for the first time and the way this plays out is just unreal! ''Wyvern'' Long story short our lovely lady invites him to their super fun club team and says she will be on the lookout for our MC BFF. Now all while the MC is mostly naked. And described our MC as Deranged and has a reputation for collateral damage. Then she leaves.
To keep it short again basically, our MC gets invited to a different group and it plays out just as weird in the next chapter following that.
What I'm trying to say is that characters can be extremely unrealistic when it comes to our MC sometimes and this is all within the first couple of chapters and it plays on for the entirety of the story that I have read.
The story was was interesting enough to keep me going but the characters definitely hold this one back in some parts, I really like the save point parts but they can only go so far but I definitely like the concept that you were going for.
The general feeling of the story was alright definitely wasn't bad! But sometimes the way the MC speaks and his choice of words and literary sometimes can be noxious and generally unpleasant.
I would recommend toning back on his way with words but that could just be me!
Now I'm definitely not the best at grammar! So if I see something that's not quite right I generally don't make a point of it because you as the author have to write a lot to keep the fans happy! But I did see a few in there just sentence not quite clicking into place at times but could be just the way you have written it. Besides that really not that bad.
Really the only thing that's holding this back for me is really the characters for me. Rubs me the wrong way you know.
It has its Moments!
Above anything else, this story is a lot of fun. You'll enjoy just about every moment.
In particular, I really enjoyed the characters, dialogue and story direction.
My only real gripe with the story is the dialogue, sort of. I love it and also kind of hate it at the same time. Yes, it's quippy and fun, but a nagging part of me shudders a little at how fake it sounds. Like, people aren't that snappy and quippy irl. Note: This is probably just me. I'm sure you love, or will love the dialogue.
The Mother of learning and worm comparison. Yeah, pretty much, though It's nothing like a ripoff. Time loop and superheros, I mean, yeah, it's pretty hard to avoid that comparison. As a massive fan of both web serials, hell yes, this is just about a dream come true. And void as the writer? An author with a pretty great track record, yeah, it's an instant classic.
Even if the ending is somehow fucked up, i'm sure this'll be a classic for years to come.
A future history viewed through shattered goggles and clockwork oranges with much less sex.
Anti heroes, super heros, villians with superpowers all stirring around in the leftovers of a postwar society.
To get 5 stars from me requires Gibson mixed with Pratchett.. the story and prose are good but not that good
I'm enjoying it so far. Hopefully it keeps up with itself. It's decently unique with it's neo europe and the humor lands well enough for me to keep me reading. Maybe the occasional excessive semi colon every once in a while (I don't like semi colons ever). Overall, I like it
One of the best I read on RR and in general so far, I can only recomend giving it a try.
Only a few annoyances and not really something thats worth mentioning in my opinion.
The humor, the pace and the violence matches perfectly and gives a truky wacky and heartfelt story
if it keep this up it will truly become The Perfect Run.
This is a work of art. Its like groundhog day not only in premise, but in comedy, tragedy, and heart as well.
Filler filler filler filler banana filler filler filler fish fillet filler filler i hate typing on a smartphone filler filler filler filler am i at 50 yet? Filler filler filler
TL;DR Don't let the plethora of rave reviews by this author's fanboys fool you. If you like intelligent, thoughtful, or sympathetic MC's this story is not for you. I explain exactly why, in detail, below.
The prose and grammar are good. And the world building is interesting. It is set in an alternate earth with superpowers and near-future sci-fi tech you typically see in fictions with super heroes. The problem is the MC.
MC acts in stupid or suboptimal ways because he is easily bored. This makes him less than sympathetic, as it really feels like a waste of this powers.
As an example, in the very first chapter, he's shot to death by a superpowered gang enforcer who is after the owner of the bar he's just made a delivery to. So he loads his save, then drives through the front of the bar with his car to run over the superpowered Assassin before beating him to death with a bat. Sounds kind of badass right?
Except that he then has to bribe the shit out of the bar owner to have him testify to the cops that he was helping. He also needs to pay for repairs. Then he has to bribe the shit out of the cops so they don't arrest him for being a vigilante because he isn't a licensed hero or law enforcer. He ends up spending several times the money that the delivery job earned him.
This dude has all the time in the world to make decisions because he can load quicksaves in real life. Yet one part of this entire encounter perfectly encapsulates his idiocy and thoughtlessness. After hitting the guy with the car, he goes to the trunk of his car and stands there contemplating what weapon to pull out on the guy as the guy is struggling to get up, running through multiple weapons in his head.
Yea... The thing his, his save/load point was 2 hours before the enforcer showed up. He was camped in front of the bar for a good while waiting for the enforcer to show up. Yet in all that time, he didn't think about what weapon he'd use after driving through the bar with the car. He had to wait until he was in the middle of a confrontation with a superpowered combatant to start thinking about it. Hell, he could have intercepted the enforcer outside of the bar or in a way that produced less collateral damage so he wouldn't have had to bribe so many people. Yet despite all of the additional subjective time he must have experienced through his powers, he does not act more mature than his age. Instead, he acts like a wacky hyperactive toddler.
It almost makes the title and Synopsis of the story a lie. He's looking for the perfect run? In what universe was the outcome of this encounter anywhere near perfect or ideal? Why would he even attempt to do it this way if perfection was what he sought?
Even his costume is self-admittedly impractical for fighting. But he wears it because it looks good.
In the very next chapter, the opening lines talks about how he does his tinkering in boxers because clothes represent conformity, and taking his clothes off represents freeing himself from the constraints society imposes on him. What utter hipster nonsense. Eccentricity for eccentricity's sake. Experimenting with weaponized gadgets requires PPE. Especially, as he himself put it, he hates loading in quick succession to solve for things.
In other words, the MC is a grandstanding idiot more concerned with dick waving, face-slapping, and standing apart from the crowd than prudence. For anyone who has read Outer Spheres, he's like a post time-skip Garth. Poor impulse control. No foresight. No prudence. And a grade schooler could use his power in smarter ways than he does.
I found the first chapter annoying to read due to the poor writing. A quick proofread would fix some of the obvious issues.
Story is a bit rough but interesting.
Maybe the quality increases as the story progresses, but I think i'll pass. Not worth my time, when the author isn't putting enough deligence into his craft.