A Technomaniac in Another World (Prototype)

A Technomaniac in Another World (Prototype)

by luukinhas90

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore

 Meet Kenji Ueda, 15 years old, an orphan in Japan. Liking technology to a certain degree, he's very carefree to anything that is not eye-catching(to him that is).
 Like any other teenager, he was in school, and of course, as much to his surprise, he was transported to a world of Swords & Magic, where he is useless! Kinda. And to make it worse, his unique skill is Technomagic!
 Shall we see what Kenji might do to this Fantasy world?
 
 Come make part of the Discord Server! We don't have much things more than some spoilers, but we're working on it!
 https://discord.gg/HJ3wSzw6
 Also, talk to me anytime, I may not answer very soon, but is either 'cause I'm playing some game or just watching a video.

 This Novel is posted here, on RoyalRoad and on ScribbleHub.

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luukinhas90

luukinhas90

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Table of Contents
66 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1 – A World Without Technology ago
♦ Hi, Let’s Talk ♦ ago
♠ Hey! Don’t forget! ♠ ago
Chapter 2 – Knowing Things Around ago
Chapter 3 – What Is Needed to An Adventurer? ago
Chapter 4 – A Tour on The Forest ago
Chapter 5 – First Creation ago
Chapter 6 – Why so Many Wild Encounters?! ago
Chapter 7 – Thoughts of A Primordial Spirit ago
Chapter 8 – Things Go Wonderfully Right! ago
Chapter 9 – Tidying Things Up ago
Chapter 10 – Creations Must be Cute and Practical ago
Chapter 11 – Testing Things, A Dungeon and Confrontation ago
Chapter 12 – Longing ago
♫ Oh, Yeah! New Arc! Mini-Arc ♫ ago
Interlude – The Gods Vision ago
Intermission – What Happen to the ‘Heroes’ ago
{Arc II} Chapter 13 – Look at the Possibilities! ago
Chapter 14 – Naming the Unknown ago
Chapter 15 – Creating Unnecessary But Cool Things ♦ ago
Chapter 16 – Money is the Core of an Adventurer ago
Chapter 17 – The Killing Experience ago
Chapter 18 – Shocking Experiences ago
Chapter 19 – Evolution Requirements ago
Chapter 20 - Status Lock and Turmoil all Around ago
Chapter 21 – Kaboom? ago
Chapter 22 – Planning Up Ahead ago
Chapter 23 – Caring for The Weak ago
Chapter 23.5 – Talking With the Newbie ago
Chapter 24 – The Flight of the Bird, and the Birth of the Anarchist ago
Chapter 25 – What the Shock?! Also Defeated ago
Chapter 26 – Evolved! And Capital Travel ago
Chapter 27 – The Capital’s Situation ago
Chapter 28 - Forging ago
Chapter 29 – That’s Terrifying… I LOVE IT! ago
Chapter 30 - Almost ago
Chapter 31 - The First Finish Line ago
♦ Small Things, Unnecessary Ones, and Necessary Ones ♦ ago
Interlude - The Mind of a Dominator ago
{Arc III} Chapter 32 – A Boring Rematch ago
Chapter 33 - Another Dive, and Precision ago
Chapter 34 - Equipment Problems ago
Chapter 35 - Through the Dunes and Cliffs ago
Chapter 36 – A Cluster of Mobs ago
Chapter 37 – The Lost Temples of Xerssas ago
Chapter 38 – The Sin I Crave For ago
Chapter 39 – An Explorer’s Work ago
♦ The Technological Anarchist STATUS List, Kenji ♦ ago
Chapter 40 – System’s Shock ago
Chapter 41 - Daddy Issues, and Another Locked STATUS ago
Extra Chapter - What the Master Likes ago
Chapter 42 – A “Good” Rest ago
Chapter 43 – The Enforcer of the Sands ago
Chapter 44 - The Darkness, and the System ago
Chapter 45 – Why Buy, When You Can Make It? ago
Chapter 46 - Karma ago
Chapter 47 – The First Encounter ago
Chapter 48 - The Meeting ago
Chapter 49 – A New Invention! ago
Chapter 50.1 – Ayla & Kasumi ago
Chapter 50.2 – Trouble Meets Companions ago
Chapter 51 - Starting the Preparations ago
Chapter 52 - Nothing's Unbreakable ago
Chapter 53 - A Knight's Despair ago
Chapter 54 - The Gorgon's Last Shedding ago
Chapter 55 - An Explosive and Dark Meeting ago

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LionessLover
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

"did bought"

"They didn’t said a thing, just turning around, and touching a sphere on the walls."

"What greeted us, was a giant room", "At our both sides, there was some people dressed", "were looking scared, and wary", "You lot, are in another world." (those commas? Lots, and LOTS, and lots, of additional, useless, commas, everywhere)

"a lot of people talks about them"

"I’m interested on them"

"we soon reach the feet of some stairs"

"Since the red carpet was in the floor, that was a giving this place was the throne room."

"It’s like he’s looking to a bug."

"The opponent in front of you, is too much of a high level. If proceeded with the scanning, the opponent might detect it."

"His expression, is one of excitement. Like he was thrilled." (present or past, choose only one - this happens quite a lot)

"Then, it came the delinquents."

"There was two people"

"the Leader of a nation" (why capitalize?)

"skeptical to the situation"

"what really catch my eye"

I'm not even halfway through the first chapter and it's even more cliché and standard tropes than I thought possible, plus that grammar... I don't mind a few mistakes, but this is just way too bad.

Unfortunately the gigantic amount of grammar issues prevents me from continuing.

There are other issues too, for example, by simply hearing somebody has the unique skill "Technomagic", could you - or even would you - immediately infer that it is useless? In chapter one everybody does so. Even the classmates new to the fantasy world who know nothing whatsoever about the magic system. To me that skill sonds OP just fromthe sound of it, especially given that I know what technology can do, so combining that with magic... so I don't think I can stand the logic behind this story either, not just the grammar.

Med10crity
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

It is great, the story and how everything works. I sincerely hope you keep going, because, even though there are problems with grammar here and there, I really like the story behind the words. The idea of thechnology and magic in some kind of symbiotic relationship with one another is very cool.

From the start till now, the whole prohression is very fun and interesting. Even the whole harem stuff, which i normally just dont like, is (still only somewhat) passable, for which I must congratulate you.

I really like the idea of 'guns in magic land', so I hope to keep reading such an interesting story from a great author, such as yourself.

I did read other reviews, which looked a little too harsh in my oppinion. Giving it your all is sometimes not enough to cater to everyone, so I do say that you should not be discouraged from writing only because there might be some gramatical problems found within your stories. So i would (very selfishly, if im being honest) like to ask that you to not heed their call and keep at it.

I do hope you are having a good day. :D

TL.DR.: Great job at writing such an interesting story. Dont listen to everyone saying the grammar sucks, nor keep it at the front of your mind. Let the words flow or something. :P

Kaosleage115
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Overall the story is quite good except there are parts where the story seems to skip over a bunch of stuff or the equivalent of someone's speed running at the new game only in the campaign mode skipping all the side quests and unlike video games the side quests can affect the story there's also the fact that by lengthening the story you could make it simply the main characters power level doesn't interfere as much with the story let's say you feel Goku in a regular Martial arts tournament guess what's going to happen Goku goes super Saiyan 4 and demolishes the competition but you should do is treat every character that acts as a secondary character to the main character including the main character be like a d&d campaign but each of those other campaigns affects the other campaign basically have how many characters that group has 7,10,13 as a completely separate campaign but they're all part of the same group and the story gets affected for each individual campaign because each individual campaign is playing a single character and not only that those campaigns work inside of a greater world that gets affected by their decisions and actions equals an opposites for every reaction there's an equal opposite reaction if you think about it like that and the story could progress better but on my d&d campaigns where the characters exist outside of the setting where they don't have to worry about the character death you got one life and the characters have to treat it as if that one life and make it rewarded or punished depending on how they do in the campaign IE if you're a murder hobo and you worship an evil God punishment if you're a good guy and you're actually trying to save lives and protect it innocent or relatively innocent then reward I.e. we don't want chaotic stupid players. And when I describe chaotic stupid players I don't mean it as an insult I meant it it is a archetype LOL so random don't want that type basically in order to reflect that the characters are probably think if a character behaves that way to be a sociopathic psychopathic nut Job. I'm just describing what characters would believe that character would be in that world that aren't player characters.

Obreezy
Overall

The first arc was nice in my opinion but I just couldn't get past the first arc. The male lead is nerfed and much weaker then the rest of his classmates who came with him during the transfer, he has the technomage skill but does not use it at all, his nerf makes him and his skills grow slower. I had to skip a lot of chapters to see what was going on, also the male lead monologs a lot. Anyway there are some movie,anime,manga,light novel mentions in here if you catch. After the first arc couldn't read anymore