- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
Elaine is ripped from this world to Pallos, a land of unlimited possibilities made real by a grand System governing classes, skills, and magic.
An ideal society? What is this, a fantasy novel?
Adventures? Right this way!
A Grand quest? Nah.
Friends and loot? Heck yes!
Humans are the top dog? Nope, dinosaur food.
Healing and fighting? Well, everything is trying to eat her.
Join Elaine as she travels around Pallos, discovering all the wonders and mysteries of the world, trying to find a place where she belongs, hunting those elusive mangos, all while the ominous Dragoneye Moons watch her every move.
Hey! Beneath the Dragoneye Moons is my first writing effort, so please be kind, but don’t hesitate to point out the flaws.
The story starts off slowly, more like a slice of life than action-adventure, but it gets there!
I’m going to be posting M-W-F
I do know how the story ends, and I promise if it ever gets dropped, or I stop doing this, I will post the ending. There will be no random “this is the last chapter” out of the blue.
Cover art by Lee Kent: https://www.artstation.com/leekent
This story is being published on Royal Road, Tapas, and Scribblehub.
[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
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I like it, give it a try! Better than 90% of other litrpgs on the site.
Great grammer. No feeling like a bad translation. No needless espousing the heavens just to take up space. No awkward "a specific person" crap. Reads perfectly native english with good flow
Author makes a solid attempt at "show, don't tell" except for a time skip.
Very handily manages the reincarnation childhood aspect without cringe.
I'm enjoying the character cast. The closest side characters are fleshed out (still working on a few of them right now) without spending an entire chapter on how everyone looks. Tastefully done imo.
System is well designed imo. I wish there was more detail on a few of the skills the MC got off-screen, but really they are pretty self explanatory so I get that the author is trying to not get bogged down. I want to see the skills she turned down for those though! HEAR THAT AUTHOR?
Responsive author if you're into that.
Nice mix of 90% happiness and 10% pure terror, just as life should be.
All in all a great litrpg that actually has a cast of characters, but only 1 MC. I am not a fan of multiple POVs, but the occasional side chapter can flesh out the motivations.
Thanks "Word Smith". Covid lockdown here in England UK is a boring pain in the A$$ but you have made the last four days sweep past. Love the slow rounding out of the character as she grows and matures, though still an innocent abroad.
More background to the other Sentinels, as we have had with Night, would be cool, but not essential to the story.(just added fluff). Though that is being churlish of me.
The only disappointment to me is that I have caught up from start to finish and now have to wait lol.Keep up the Celestial high standards. Enjoy your family downtime.
ignore critics who read a handful of chapters (for free)then proceed to slaughter your writing because it does not conform to their ideas of what it should be. They should write their own "Magnum Opus" and put it here to suffer the slings and arrows.
Respect and Gratitude to you Selkie, and I cast an anal irritant charm upon baseless critics
The incidenct of the plague and investigation to solve it is a very good exploration of the idea and one I have rarely seen done well in a fantasy novel. Otherwise characters are reasonably well developed and the author has done a good job of world building. The limits of the main characters abilities are also made use of well to prevent them being overpowered.
I really appreciate this story because of one simple thing which the vast majority of novels on this site can't manage.
that being side characters that seem realistic in there thoughts and actions as in they feel like they could be real instead of your typical npc drone or random villain background characters.
keep up the good work.
A "bog-standard" (as the author puts it) isekai. I wouldn't be so sure. Certain expected tropes (rational MC, funneling Earth technologies into the other world, kill everything to become the most power X) are actually nicely subverted here. It's quite refreshing to read conflicts that can't be solved with a larger club. The System is relegated to a background role, as it should be, while characters and interesting arcs come to the fore.
Characters have depth where they should - the protagonist and supporting cast are good, flawed, interesting characters. Minor characters are detailed without being overly dwelled upon.
Grammar and general quality of writing are excellent. Showing rather than telling, use of foreshadowing, and other technical aspects of good story-writing are all present.
A big kudos to the author for their work on the elemental magic system. It seems well-crafted, internally consistent, and very impactful on their worldbuilding. It has its foundations in the classic elemental systems of games, but is extended and elaborated on to form something great. I would like to see more stories give this level of thought to their magic/elemental systems. I also note with approval that the author skipped the infodump exposition on the system (great for the story. No matter how cool the magic system is, full details should not be revealed by in-world characters, it's a waste of a chapter and bad writing). For the curious reader like myself, the author kindly made a separate, out-of-character chapter/note with full details and a chart.
Great work and I am excited to read more.
A lot of reincarnation stories focus on the protagonist learning about the new world and being hung up on every little difference, and then changing the world with our their knowlege of everything modern; or we see the protagonist immediatelly outpace every other child in their growth because they are born with the discipline and knowlege of an adult, and use this to have a ridiculous growth rate. In this sense, Beneath The Dragoneye Moons feels different from most isekai. Elaine's reincarnation doesn't immediately give her the means to change the world - she doesn't have the knowlege of physiscs and chemistry and technology to make the changes that most reincarnators make. She also doesn't get immediate maturity and discipline. Instead, what she brings from her rebirth is the attention of a fickle God/Goddess, a moderate ammount of XP, and - more importantly - the knowlege of biology and medicine, which she first avoids using out of fear (ah! fear of being discovered! a common reincarnation trope) and then swears to use and share to the best of her ability, in her own version of the Hypocratic Oath.
And that is what makes her special. Not just the knowlege, but the Oath. And more than that, her commitment to do what she thinks best, to not bow down to the pressures of society, to not let herself be shackled by a patriarcal marriage, and to never blindly follow orders. Elaine is not arrogant, but she is true to herself, and impulsive, and as we see her grow up from a child to a teenager to a young adult we also see her show her personality mature, which is so refreshing, in this subgenre where many reincarnators are reborn with the mind of an adult! But of course, this story is about (among other things) the importance of biology, and of course the body influences the mind, and having the body of a child will make you feel things like a child does, and often act like a child.
This is what keeps me reading this story: Elaine. Child Elaine is adorable, Teen Elaine is hilarious, Adult Elaine is ... well, after seeing her grow up, I think the emotion she evoques is pride. Seeing her carve her place in this world is amazing. We see her struggle at each step, and every class up is a conquest. Every rank up. Every time her efforts pay off, every time she is recognized, we cheer with her.
But also: all the other characters. This story has a care with giving each character a distinct personality, without relying on tropes and types, that makes every scene come alive. In fact, my one style criticism of BTDM is that sometimes Elaine stops to list a number of irrelevant side characters, which I immediately forget about until they show up again. It gives me the impression, though, that the author loves creating characters, and that in the Author's mind the scenes are never filled with nameless extras, but with actual characters, that we may not get to know, but that make the scene more real. And the characters that we do get to know - they have depth, and personality, they have their own way of doing things and relating to the world, their own morals, and their fears, and loves.
The same care is given to the worldbuilding, which sometimes feels like a natural expansion of the character's backgrounds. Oh, and have I mentioned this world has people riding dinosaurs? Yeah, this scenario is Roman Empire with Magic and Dinosaurs, which is honestly just a very Cool concept and is taken entirely straight, for great effect. Actually it is a little weird that Elaine doesn't comment on the Roman Empire similarities, but... I think this ties in with what I said above. This story is not about changing the order of the world with your knowlege from another life. Elaine's memories of another life have a place here, in bringing medicine and art to the world (and uh, maybe also a bit of equal rights morality, but not enough to upend the world), but in everything else she experiences the world as someone born to it.
And thd story we get with these characters, in this world, is, well, it's an adventure story, with lots of action and struggle and levelling up and being glad to be able to take a break, and also healing people and saving lives, and fighting to better the world to the best of ones abilities. Every now and then, also fighting bad guys or solving crimes. Also making allies and friends, and dealing with hierarchy. It's all I could want from a reincarnation isekai litrpg.
I loved the story, I was on the ropes about trying it a couple of months back after reading through the reviews. But recently I was bored enough to give it a shot and it certainly didn't disappoint. So if your reading this just give it a shot. You might find that it's not your cup of tea, but how will you know unless you try it?
Sinceramente me encanta esta novela ni muy rápida ni muy lenta, los personajes están muy bien hechos sobretodo la mc que a mi parecer es muy realista me gusta su personalidad ya que no es imbecil como muchos otros mc y tampoco es el típico super genio de mil años que lo hace todo bien en mi opinión es muy realista ye es una de mis mc favoritas sus ideales acciones y valores siguen una buena lógica no como en otras novelas .... Por ultimo el autor esta manejando muy bien el tema del romance sinceramente estoy cansado de los harems o cuando las mujeres tienen que depender de un hombre, otra cosa importante es que el mundo es increíble muy bien construido. (ADVERTENCIA: Si estas buscando la típica novela donde el mc esta súper OP es multifacetico, se le da bien todo, es fuerte en todos los aspectos, es un súper genio, mejor vete a otro lado esto es realista un sanador no lucha un sanador o mago no puede vencer a un asesino de su nivel o superior si no interfieren otros factores y por supuesto para lograr algo te tienes que especializar no hay tal cosa como una clase universal o alguien que se especializa en todo porque se vuelve mediocre.
It's an entertaining read with a well thought and fleshed out system. There's not really too much I'm not fond of. My main, and really only, gripe is that I didn't see how the MC could act so childishly through her "childhood" and early teen years. To be fair Selkie did offer an explanation, I just didn't buy it. Also the MC has an unhealthy obsession with a disgusting fruit...
Overall, an enjoyable "pop-corn" read that is hindered by "and then this happened" story-telling, unlikeable characters and presented on the foil of an inconsistent and non-sensical world.
In brief, this is a story about a young woman who gets transported to another world, which has a game-like system of stats, while retaining memories of anatomy/biology of a modern day world. There are a whole gaggle of standard "RoyalRoad" tropes (transported, LitRPG etc...) and a few other plot points and while I may have just grown bored of these tropes, they were not introduced in a way that was coherent over the length of the story or in a way that was interesting.
The story's style is generally approachable. It presents as an easy read from the point of view of the main character (with a few interludes mixed in). I got bored of reading everything from this POV, mostly because I started to get bored of this main character as I read more of the story. However, it is impossible to deny that the actual style is approachable and easy to pick up.
In the context of the grammar, there are not many obvious errors (and the few I've seen were corrected quickly). Sometimes the sentence structure could use some work, but nothing out of place and mostly hard to spot. Little to complain about on this front.
Where this fiction really falls down is in the story and the characters. I do not find most of the characters very compelling. While initially interesting, the struggles of the main character (Elaine) quickly devolve, losing most tension. Certain plot points are notable, but they are also notably few, and far between. I also feel that the "combatting sexism" aspect of the plot is poorly thought-out, badly implemented and obviously tacked-on. It could have been more interesting had it not been bungled so badly.
The characters are all mostly flat and/or foil for Elaine. This can work, but they seem to fall into caricatures or have strange patterns of logic that break immersion in the story. I never felt that the side characters were really written as people with agency in the story.
The main character herself does not seem to have a real character arc, but more that things happen around her and she experiences these (seemingly random) series of events. Comparing Elaine to other fictional protagonists, I don't see much character development even as she is experiencing these serious events and adventures.
Finally, I did not find the world-building particularly coherent or consistent. It does the job, but it is noticeable. If this were a separate category, it would probably get a 3-3.5.
At the end of the day, your enjoyment of this story will depend heavily on whether you like the main character and can withstand reading fantastical events in well-trodden tropes from her POV.