- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
Elaine is ripped from this world to Pallos, a land of unlimited possibilities made real by a grand System governing classes, skills, and magic.
An ideal society? What is this, a fantasy novel?
Adventures? Right this way!
A Grand quest? Nah.
Friends and loot? Heck yes!
Humans are the top dog? Nope, dinosaur food.
Healing and fighting? Well, everything is trying to eat her.
Join Elaine as she travels around Pallos, discovering all the wonders and mysteries of the world, trying to find a place where she belongs, hunting those elusive mangos, all while the ominous Dragoneye Moons watch her every move.
Hey! Beneath the Dragoneye Moons is my first writing effort, so please be kind, but don’t hesitate to point out the flaws.
The story starts off slowly, more like a slice of life than action-adventure, but it gets there!
I’m going to be posting M-W-F
I do know how the story ends, and I promise if it ever gets dropped, or I stop doing this, I will post the ending. There will be no random “this is the last chapter” out of the blue.
Cover art by Lee Kent: https://www.artstation.com/leekent
This story is being published on Royal Road, Tapas, and Scribblehub.
[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
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Just so you understand, it took 8 years for the MC to notice magic extists and she never asked anything about it.
Second, it took her 8 years to discover she remembers things from her past life.
When after 8 years, magic got explained to her and it is very clearly stated that you can die from poorly increasing your stats.
She decides to space out and not listen.
Some old sage is explaining to her that she will die if she fucked up and she. decides. to. not. listen.
I have the overall Score a 5 because the parts are all very good and fit well together, which was many other novels fail to do. The characters are all well thought out and are dynamic. The Grammar has very little mistakes, if any and is easy to understand. The story is a guaranteed 5. It follows a linear progression (except interludes). It keeps the reader engaged and leaves me wanting more than the author can give. The style overall is good it has comedy and seriousness, and it puts them together in a cohesive way. All of these things allow the novel to flourish and is why it is one of my favorite novels on RoyalRoad. The clas system is amazing(see spoiler). All together BTDM is one of favorite novels and I hope this draws more people into this amazing world.
The novel constantly changes what to expect, and keeps the reader guessing. The authors take on classes is refreshing and avoids the system pitfalls most novels like it fall Into. I really like how the classes offered all relate to the MC in some way. Like the Artemis Pet classes. It feels more involved than other novels and I like how she doesn't get random classes that have nothing to do with her.
Reveiwed at Chpt 89
Grammar: Good grammar, easily readable. I have not had to stop and re-read because the poor spelling or grammar caused the sentence to not make sense.
Character: The MC is a strong female lead. Her experiences mold her opinions and convictions which guide her actions in a reasonable and relatable way. She shows emotional depth and a sense of humor. She's not cool with chauvinism and values human life and helping others. Despite modest isekai stat cheat she's not a Mary sue and she's not a murder hobo. Aside from MC and maybe her parents and mentor though, everyone else is pretty much a cardboard NPC.
Story: As of chpt. 89 it’s a good story. This is an enjoyable read. The MC is relatable and her adventures are entertaining. IMO the skill progression and action scenes are very entertaining. The pacing is pretty fast. It delivers the action and adventure. We're not bogged down in pages of meta gaming or slice of life drama.
Style: The MC’s voice (diction) conveys a kind, determined and quirky personality. As the narrator, this voice sets a humorous but serious tone. IE: not a murder hobo treating this isekai like a videogame.
For a 1st person narrative, the story is light on descriptions from the MC's five senses (seeing sinewy monster muscle as it twists to snap at you or tasting salt on the ocean breeze) and heavy on exposition (someone reading the description of a town or a dinosaur from an encyclopedia).
Personal pet peeves:
MC is the only one who intellifently levels up based on her own situation. Others seem to forego min maxing their potential because the plot needs them to be powerless or incapable.
High level, elite Military ranger gets nervous in certain battle situations. The nerves make her trigger happy to the degree that she can't control her magical blasts and has repeatedly inflicted teammates with critical injuries. Skills for calming nerves exist. Magic control is a stat that can be buffed. The author has given no reason why this elite soldier doesn't utilize the system in order to stop crippling her allies.
Downtrodden women in particular. The sexism, female disenfranchisement and male heads of household weilding power over life and death are big themes so far. However, sexual dimorphism is countered by super powers that everyone starts unlocking at age 8. The author doesn't explain how battered wives, washer women and molested maids are prevented from taking skills to let them protect / stand up for themselves.
It bounces back and forth between completely light hearted ADHD eight year old brain being useless(which is well written if that is why the MC is like that), to super dark. Suddenly swinging back and forth like a pendulum a few chapters in at which point it starts to draw too much attention to the logic of the dark stuff, the Author started taking giant logic leaps to change the tone. The bad things that happen should have reasons why they happened or never stopped happening but they didn't.
Overall a quality story, Decent world building, not just cookie cutter LitRPG fantasy world Inetesrting background characters, although many in the middle of the book seemed excessively detailed for the amount of use they were actually put to in the story (here I'm mainly talking about the other trainees at the school, Now I presume they'll pop up later in the tale, but there weren't really enough connections made between the Main Character and the other students whilst she was there)
the main character is occasionally irritating, but that's the way she started, and you can see her developement although it is occasionally judderingly slow. however it is all internally consistent and fits together without relying on standard tropes. So individual enough to truly interesting, not someone who had me sat thinking "Oh god, here we go again"
The Grammar and style are both excellent, with the occasional error, but no more then the majority of published books. the rythm of the word use storytelling is excellent. and any novel where the main character is getting annoyed because they're being talked into quoting huge sections of Homer once again for the entertainment of the others has a few more layers than standard hack / slash / zap / burn storytelling
This is an excellent reincarnation-style litrpg. I really like the main character, and the focus she has on whatever she's doing.
The world is very interesting - it's far from an ideal society, but you can see how it happened. The Roman republic parallels are obvious, but it fits the physical setting. The problems that setting causes for a female mc aren't ignored - they're part of what she has to battle against.
I enjoy how details of the world are revealed gradually yet fit together well - it feels like this world and its history were well planned out before the story ever started.
The story updates very rapidly, which is always a big plus.
The 200 word minimum review length is a horrible horrible horrible horrible horrible horrible horrible idea.
I have to say that the story caught my interest early on, but some of the concepts went way over the top and made me lose interest. One of the premises of the story revolves around events that occur during the main character's childhood and those events seem implausible to me.
The main character gains a healer class. She notices that her friend doesn't seem to be feeling well and doesn't do anything about it. As a child, I wouldn't expect the main character to know to do something, but again as a child I *would* expect the main the character start using her skills (just from the excitement of having skills) on her sick friend.
How did the sick friend hide her illness from her parents? The main character identified a foul odor in the friend's home. Wouldn't the parents have realized that the smell was new/different and tried to figure out what went wrong?
I realize that none of these actions would necessarily have saved the friend, but it just doesn't add up the way the story is told. Maybe I'm missing something.
Later in the story, the main character is told by a healer that sometimes patients die. The main character's own mother is a healer. Wouldn't she teach this to her daughter who is also a healer?
The main character tormenets herself for years, holding herself responsible for the death of her friend. Would it have made a difference if her mother said something to her? I don't know. Maybe not. But it just doesn't make sense that her mother would have never said anything.
The other issue I have with the story is that the traumatising event that happens in childhood has notes saying that that event is as bad as the story gets. And yet, a similar event occurs in an interlude later on.
Mabe I misunderstood what the author was saying, but I took those warnings to mean that that singular event would be as bad as things get. Instead, it seemed to be a message that that type of event is as bad as it gets. I just don't see the point to recreate traumatising content like that with new characters.
I enjoyed parts of the story and I think the author brought the chracters to life, but I'm not sure the entertainment value balances the traumatising content as it was presented. Real life is bad enough; I don't need more pointless death in something that I look to for entertainment.
I really, really want to like this story.
The Good: World setting, the system. Ironically all "Good" male Charakters are making sense while none of the female ones Do. MC HAS GRIT.
The Bad: MC has the sense, wit and cunnimg of a 4 year old. MC should be as of chapter 101 around 36 YEARS of age, at least mentally. All Times when thete is conflict she is getting saved by someone Else and doesnt develop Real agency except when she made the decision to run away. You get the feeling she needs somebody to take care of her through her while journey. Women also have agency and are as smart and good as well as dumb and Bad as everybody Else author. Where are the strong well adjusted women?
This is one of the most anti feminist novels I have read and if that was inteded I applaud the author.
Every female in this novel is either very irrational, a victim or a psycho. I am very dissapointed.
This is supposed to be a "New" World and thank to patriaarchy they are already nearly rennecainse while in the Real World we took 10k YEARS for that? Go patriaarchy I guess...
I have spent every spare moment I could find for the last however many days marathoning this story. It has honestly been a joy to go through, and I am chomping at the bit for more. I liked it enough that early on I decided to pay for the story, because writing of this caliber deserves to be rewarded. The characters are great, the world is complex, and the plot and system are both incredibly compelling. I am well over a thousand pages into this world and still so much of the world is a mystery to me. But not in a frustrating way! There has been nothing withheld just for the sake of withholding. Everything necessary is there, and every stray detail that is let slip beyond that is a treat. Its a delicate balance, and the author walks it adeptly. I have binged on so much of this work and yet I'm not at all tired of it, there's no need for a palate cleanser. I'm just joining the legions of others waiting for the next chapter.
On to the details, the style is fun but not overbearing. The characters are full and complex, no cardboard cutouts here. The story is deep and only getting deeper. And I have found virtually no grammatical errors, and any I have found were minor enough to just gloss over. Overall this is an easy 5 star rating and I can recommend it to anyone who likes this type of story.
This story is a gem. It's starts slow and honestly quite bad plotting, but it redeems itself through some great characters and growth.
This story has its own unique voice. It manages to convey characters, scenery, and dialogue without it feeling jarring or dumpy. Most of the story is told from the POV of Elaine our fustrating but loveable protagonist - more on her later. The first person POV is done well, the pacing is snappy despite it being a flow of consciousness. The action sequences are plotted decently, understandable but not as great as some other action fics on this site. The author does take a while to get into his groove and by book 3 the writing really does come into it's own.
The story is honestly good, it starts off slow and the childhood arc was kind of painful to read. The author at the beginning really liked to hit readers over the head sometimes. Characters felt a bit like caricatures but starting from the Ranger arc a lot of those problems improved. The storyline itself is still pretty basic but I feel like I'm the current chapter the world is really opening up. The world building is one of the best aspects of this story. I love the Roman atheistic, the roads are a great touch, and I'm a huge fan of the deathworld setting in general. The system is well designed, nothing new, but we'll explored in setting. Class ups are well done and always a high point in this story. Overall it's a great story for a webnovel, it takes a while to really get on its feet but the payoff is worth it.
It's good and readable. Some occasional mistakes but nothing that really rips a reader out of enjoying the story.
This is honestly the reason I wanted to write this review. Never in my time as a reader in these 10 years reading webnovels have I found a character that infuriates me so much but still keeps me rooting for her. This story is an isekai, but our Elaine doesn't really act mature or abuses her knowledge. She was born as a child on this new world but never really adopts the ethics of her new world either. It's a very fustrating mix that kind of takes the worst of both plot tropes.
Elaine is also a bit special. We know she was a student before she got reincarnated, however she doesn't know what prostitutes are. She has a high school level of biology understanding and an English major level of knowledge of English literature. She clearly has some kind of learning disorders (probably ADHD) because she is constantly flightly and distracted, and she also has no social skills. She said that she was around 20 before she died but has a childlike understand of morality and politics. She's a paradox and I'm fascinated with her. Her oath is well phrased and a major part of this story and I love seeing how she grows with it. How she slowly has to face a cruel reality that doesn't let her live her idealistic healer dreams. She's a borderline pacifist but her hero is a one woman special ops force of nature who kills first and asks questions later. It's fascinating because Elaine feels so real, a human with all her idiosyncrasies and hypocrisies.
The other side characters are all great, no one feels really tow dimensional and everyone has their own goals, flaws, and quirks. They act as great foils to Elaine's own eccentric personality.
I really commend the author for a great work. The setting is great and I can tell he really tries to write a solid character driven litrpg. The first couple of executions fell flat, but the author is learning from his mistakes and really working on making his story better. So give it a read.