- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
Elaine is ripped from this world to Pallos, a land of unlimited possibilities made real by a grand System governing classes, skills, and magic.
An ideal society? What is this, a fantasy novel?
Adventures? Right this way!
A Grand quest? Nah.
Friends and loot? Heck yes!
Humans are the top dog? Nope, dinosaur food.
Healing and fighting? Well, everything is trying to eat her.
Join Elaine as she travels around Pallos, discovering all the wonders and mysteries of the world, trying to find a place where she belongs, hunting those elusive mangos, all while the ominous Dragoneye Moons watch her every move.
Hey! Beneath the Dragoneye Moons is my first writing effort, so please be kind, but don’t hesitate to point out the flaws.
The story starts off slowly, more like a slice of life than action-adventure, but it gets there!
I’m going to be posting M-W-F
I do know how the story ends, and I promise if it ever gets dropped, or I stop doing this, I will post the ending. There will be no random “this is the last chapter” out of the blue.
Cover art by Lee Kent: https://www.artstation.com/leekent
This story is being published on Royal Road, Tapas, and Scribblehub.
[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
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Well. I discovered this story four days ago, and binged it all the way through. Highly reccomend it.
The greatest praise I can give this story is that you can tell the author read most, if not all of, The Wandering Inn. I don't think any author can read through those 8+ million words unchanged, and the quality and some of the formatting in this story reflects that.
The story follows Elaine, a Healer. A girl who had her brain scrambled by a haughty and capricious god and then forcefully put into a harsh fantasy world, and giving off a vibe of a pre-medieval era civilization. Almost Roman. The author perfectly captures the perspective of an aloof and naive female protagonist, and you can tell a lot of thought went into making the character real. After several important moments, you can tell that she matures somewhat, but still maintains her kid-like personality. You have to consider, 189 chapters in, and she's still only 19 years old (not counting her life on Earth, as her memories were scrambled during reincarnation). What kind of 19 year old can be mentally stable after the types of challenges the MC is put through? Who wouldn't be constantly spacing out and forgetting things after their brain was put through a divine cheese grater? The other reviewers seem to completely disregard this fact. If she were posited to be at least 50 years old, or even more, then maybe yeah, the immaturity would be cringe-inducing and hard to read. But you're reading a journey of this young woman put into a place of responsibility and tough choices, Oath-bound to a noble cause, and it is hard not to cheer for her.
And it's not any flaw of the author to write a childish main character. It is clearly a stylistic choice. Once you meet and parse all the supporting characters, you realize that they all have significant depth to them - histories, relationships, dreams, aspirations, goals. I would bet 20 coins that the author has watched Brandon Sanderson's lectures on character building. Be forewarned, there are character deaths, just like in any fantasy epic like this. The stakes are always high.
The world is well written, with the geography refreshingly taken into account when being introduced to new locations. In the author's own words, "Geography becomes history. History becomes politics." All the cities mentioned are examined though this lens, and are well thought out, the trade routes reasonable, and the mangos critical. There's only one major qualm I have with the setting presented, in that the story claims a staunch position of a heavily patriarchal society. When the System gives equal treatment to both sexes. It is hand-waved away in a couple sentences in some chapter that this is primarily due to the neverending war with giant ants happening on the western border, and that the Senate decided that women need to stay at home and make as many children as possible, or some-such. When in reality it is shown that any woman with a modicum of power gets her way. But the story eventually concedes and it mentions that rebellions often happen because of this stupid rule. Oh well. It is easy to ignore most of the time.
Another strange thing the author did is introduce another character that shares a very similar background and personality to the MC's late childhood friend, but set several hundred years or so in the future. This happens in sort-of interlude chapters between the published books. I recommend skipping them entirely and then going back once this character become relevant to the story (as the author has claimed they will be), but I will begrudgingly say they present an interesting second cultural setting in this world and give some useful background info to the Dwarves arc, and so may be worth a read in the order presented.
Finally I really like the LitRPG System devised by the author. Semi-subjective Classes, interesting and well named Skills, with individual control over Stats, allowing for Min-Max potential. It is shown that really every Class can be very powerful, but the name of the game is experience gain. No matter what you have, the more levels you have - the stronger you are, period. Mana Regen is the lifeline of all mages. Physical stats have a huge impact on quality of life. Vitality is not HP as is the case in most stories, decapitation is decapitation for most people, but, in theory, survivable once you have maybe tens or hundreds of thousands points in it. Lots of juicy System notifications.
As a side note, if you like dinosaurs, they are prominent in the setting. You will be googling their names, as the author likes to skip out describing their visual aspects most of the time. Actually, also certain fantasy creatures too. The author uses terms and creatures from basically every mythology. Think retiarius, serpopards, selkies, xuanwu. It's always delightful to come across a new thing I've never heard of before!
Ok so...where do i start?
About the overall rating, i just LOVE your book. It is a really good entertainement and i was really sucked in your universe, loving the character( including the childhood part ) and the way you made your system.
Its really well described ( a little too much sometimes to me, but i'm more used to light novels, so it's ok for me, way to readapt me to longer writings) and we can almost see the scene playing front of our eyes! Well done
Nor a lot to say here, it is nice, and as a non native english speaker, i understand everything (just had to grab some translation times to times, making my vocabulary richer, thanks ! )
Ok so! The story is up and down, not an all bright road for the main character, and i LOVE IT. Way more realistic, we feel the struggles and the pain of the main character and of the ranger team too! Pretty damn good!
You managed to fully give life to all the ranger team, an hard work, especially on the long term, and we can feel the changes in Elaine mind as she suffers and cross hardship!
Need to keep reading, need more BTDM, need more MANGOS !
Really good job, bloody amazing book! Thanks again !
Reading this far 62 chps, MC still cannot protect herself from normal thugs. And Her mentality sucks way too much. She has low common sense for a person she was supposed to be. I cannot help but to think that this novel might be worth it if not for the MC. And the world building really needs some work, rather than stuffing the novel with worthless skill level ups..
This is one of the better stories on RR at the moment which fills your need for fun progression with constraints on the story.
I was hesitant to start this one as many reviews mentioned the casual sexism and power disparity of women to men and i usually avoid anything with that kind of flavour in it and after reading over 200 pages i actually didnt really think it was all that bad. Theres no rape in it, i think maybe 1 off screen mention earlier on and thats about it. There is a difference in the way women are treated and the author has stated it was written in because it somewhat mirrors the real world however the main issue i have with it is that its inserted early on as an issue with the world that the protag has (same with slavery) yet nothing is ever done about it. You get the impression that she is eventually going to do something about these systemic issues and then as the story goes on its barely mentioned which, i feel, is a lost opportunity, The MC seems to ust ignore the issue completely and its a real shame. This, i think, is why a lot of reviews have mentioned it being uneccesary as theres functionaly no plot related reasons for these issues to be present. At best it slightly builds the world and at worst it makes the reader frustrated at the lack of thought thats gone into the worldbuilding, or lack therof. These things can be easily overlooked though.
Some other thoughts, Elaine is a mostly fun character, if a little childishly written and biege. It feels like she has been letting the story guide her and doesn't feel particulary assertive, often going where the plot and other characters guide her, however this is changing in recent chapters.
Her main class get overpowered really early i think, which put constraints on the character growth but it has been managed well but i do feel that the fight scenes and levels can be confusing.
We get a lot of level skill ups and without really understanding what they do or what effect they are having. There are some skills that you actualy don't know what there effect is and it seems the levelling of them is arbitrary numbers that are just being thrown around but its still a satisfying climb to become better and Elaine does choose her skills/classes carefully which i greatly appreciate as its not ust haphazardky chosen on a whim.
The side characters are fairly well drawn but i do wish there was more of a focus on fleshing them out instead of introducing a bunch of new ones that really don't make a difference.
All in all, the story is really fun, definitely addicting, i basically read this whenever i could until i caught up to the current chapters so its worth a go.