- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
Elaine is ripped from this world to Pallos, a land of unlimited possibilities made real by a grand System governing classes, skills, and magic.
An ideal society? What is this, a fantasy novel?
Adventures? Right this way!
A Grand quest? Nah.
Friends and loot? Heck yes!
Humans are the top dog? Nope, dinosaur food.
Healing and fighting? Well, everything is trying to eat her.
Join Elaine as she travels around Pallos, discovering all the wonders and mysteries of the world, trying to find a place where she belongs, hunting those elusive mangos, all while the ominous Dragoneye Moons watch her every move.
Hey! Beneath the Dragoneye Moons is my first writing effort, so please be kind, but don’t hesitate to point out the flaws.
The story starts off slowly, more like a slice of life than action-adventure, but it gets there!
I’m going to be posting M-W-F
I do know how the story ends, and I promise if it ever gets dropped, or I stop doing this, I will post the ending. There will be no random “this is the last chapter” out of the blue.
Cover art by Lee Kent: https://www.artstation.com/leekent
This story is being published on Royal Road, Tapas, and Scribblehub.
[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
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Honestly think it's great overall. The characters and their dialogue is great. The story is funny and I look forward to reading every chapter. The system is unique enough to be interesting.
The main flaw is that the worldbuilding, and story as a whole, feels very rushed at the beginning. A lot of it feels like it could have been done better. The childhood arc in general is very confusing with the MC acting like a wierd fusion of child and adult and it's not really explained fully how the mentality came about. Exposition can also feel forced sometimes, the best examples would be the fact that despite being in the world for 5 and 8 years respectively for the introduction and unlocking of the system, the MC has very little knowledge of what to expect which seems very unrealistic. Clearly this is done so that the exposition of how the system works can be given to the reader but it took me out of the situation more than it immersed me.
There are definitely more examples of the author taking shortcuts in creating the world/setting as well. However, depite these flaws I still really enjoy the story so far and I think the Royalroad rating is well below what it deserves.
I like the story a lot im writing this so it might reach more people.
its not perfect but realy what is?
In a genre dominated by male protagonists, this is one of the rare examples of a competent female lead. Like in most LitRPGs, Elaine experiences a serious spike in power shortly after embarking on her own. Fortunately, it's not due to a rare class or a magic item, but a decision she made early on in the story that turned out to have far reaching consequences: a magical oath.
its pretty captivating and will leave you wanting more
two major issues in this world slavery and sexism. Slavery is as far as I am simply never mentioned again after some time which I found a bit disappointing and Sexism is the part where I find some issues with the cast. So to put it simple everyone importent as far as I have seen is in some form against sexism, and it simply exist to further the war.
the world is done well by the way
Style is good. First person POV of the MC. The System is logical and makes sense while having it's own unique twists over the standard litrpg system. I like it a lot.
Characters are pretty good. The MC can be easily distracted and impulsive, which can get a tad annoying sometimes, but that just makes her feel more real. Supporting characters are fleshed out more or less depending on how important they are to the MC
i suggest giving it a chance
This is an overall really good story. There are sometimes minor mistakes or unclear passages or parts of the world and the readers might think the characters actions are questionable, but that is only one of the aspects that make it so very believable and engaging that coupled with the Lead Character being a healer, I find it somewhat reminiscent of Azarinth Healer just without the Overpowered Lone Wolf Archetype.
If you haven't read this yet you really should otherwise you are just missing out.
It's decent. Protagonist can get a little annoying sometimes and her moral compass makes almost 0 sense. She risks getting kicked out of the rangers to oppose the extinction of the mindless ants, but will then kill multiple people? Doesn't really make that much sense to me.
World building is pretty good other than the weird sexism. MC originally is horrified by this, but hasn't actually done anything about it since gaining a powerful position, and it's pretty much swept under the rug apart from a few mentions here and there.
Overall its a nice read. System aspects specifically are pretty cool and the class rank ups were some of my favorite parts.
Elaine is reborn with partial memories of a life on Earth as a baby in Pallos. A phantastic world with gods, monsters and magic.
On “System Day” the day on Pallos, when every child can start unlocking the skills that will determine their future profession and talents, she chooses to set her feet on the path of a healer.
This proves to be a true calling for Elaine. Healing all in need, no matter whether they be friend or enemy following and expanding the Hippocratic oath.
Elaine also trains survival skills in a world filled with monsters. She overcomes her family’s objections and the limitations of a patriarchal society to follow her path. But throughout all trials and tribulations she keeps her eyes firmly on her life’s goal – she will be the best healer she possibly can.
A great read totally hitting all my personal requirements for a good book.
I only have some minor quibbles. The author is not very imaginative with names and often uses names of famous persons and places from ancient European history in a quite different context.
And the artwork is very pretty. It truly is. But I delayed starting reading this book till I had read all other candidates on the Royal Roads front page. I thought the pretty girl in a fantasy setting with the utterly impractical armor exposing head, jugular, arm arteries and granting no flexibility in the torso was surely yet another harem novel. Which is not really my thing. I am delighted to find out I was wrong. I will certainly follow Elaine’s further adventures as they are written.
One of the "most awesomest" books I've been privileged to be able to read on RR.
The MC is easy to like and not too stupid. Neither does he have to dumb down the whole world to ensure the MC shines. Her "shine" is well worked out...tongue in cheek.
The progression is smooth and makes sense.
I wish he posted more often...but hey its free.
Overall this is a very enjoyable read, once I started I didn't stop. I read all 56 chapters in one sitting, this story drew me in and was a fun read. Highly recommended.
The advanced review:
This story takes probably my favorite approach to the isekai trope there is, if you are treated like a baby or child for extended periods of time you will act like a baby/child. Normally the way an isekai character acts during childhood is a major turn off for me in most stories but this one handled it damn near perfectly.
Yes, it is true that our dear MC is a bit of a scatter brain and is easily distracable but what child isn't. As she gets older she does lose some of that, which is believable and nice, but it doesn't completly go away which I personally like. Every person has flaws and hers are evident and believeable, she is even aware of it which is better than most can say. To me character flaws make characters interesting, the fact that our MCs flaws are obvious and not just LITRPG based is a HUGE plus.
Story wise this is more of a coming of age tale than your more standard LITRPG. Yes she is the MC and because of that she is 'special' but she is not OP nor is she invisible or have all the answers to every problem. As mentioned in the story she is human, she chose to be human, and humans make mistakes! All of this gives the story some weight and makes you interested in seeing where the MCs life will take her.
Now to a bit more touchy subject, sexism, from reading some of the reviews I have noticed that apprently the way this is approached is kinda divisive. I don't have a problem with the approach this story took and in my opinion it was well done. Sexism here is used very well to advance character growth, world building and to contrast Earth and Pallos(the world where the story takes place).
Warning!!! Sexism review rant don't click if you don't want to read it!!!
Ok so this is a rant after reading some of the other reviews on sexism in this story, if you don't want to read this close the spoiler. You have been warned.
First off, the idea of sexism is a 20-21st century concept.( It is a little older but for the point of this rant that will do, if you want to know more read the wikipedia article on sexisim)
Now in this story there is quite obvious gender discrimination, it is quite blatant and well written. It is used to highlight, quite well I might add, the difference between Pallos and Earth or more specifically western culture. This does not have to be justified and explained for the reader to understand that we aren't in Kansas anymore and secondly that if our MC is going to become someone great she is going to face a long and difficult road.
Knowing that this story is set in a pseudo Roman Republic/empire time period. I know to expect slavery and gender discrimination to name the big ones. Women back then where in charge of the households but beyond it they had very little power. This story illustrates this very well and it's use of sexism as world building and character development tool is very well done.
Sexism should not have to justified or need to be explained to be put into a story.
From a stylistic point of view this story is great I personally like the class up and class upgrade method that this story uses, it is not first time I have seen it but it is way more believeable to the normal litrpg approach.
Grammar wise this story is pretty solid and I don't have much to nitpick. I never give perfect grammar scores cause there is always something that slips through.
This is my review and if you disagree you are welcome to down vote and write your own.
Good job Selkie on writing a great story and I hope to read more great chapters in the future.
Edit: I have now caught back up after putting this story down all winter and I can pretty confidently say that since the end of the ranger academy arc the story has gone down hill. This storys sole charm was that it was set in Greco-Riman era and early into the world's history, however this no longer seems to be where the author wants the story to be centered on. You can sort of tell he has started to rush to get to where he wants. And don't get me started on that God awful time jump chapter, that in its self should be 1 star.
So yeah have to change my review of Story from 4 to a 3. I still enjoy this story but the authors approach and direction for this story, I just can't get behind.
Let's start with the biggest criticism: the first arc (the tragic backstory) is roughly 20 chapters and it's rough in many ways (though it gets better) (although it's 1/3 of the currently 57 chapters). It was emotionally difficult and brutal in a way that seemed unnecessary and excessive, and its world building felt unjustified in places. On the other hand, the longer the story goes the better it gets.
Another common criticism I see is that the MC is dumb, but I'd argue she's inexperienced, naive, and impulsive (the difference being that she is learning from her mistakes). Most reincarnation stories have a main character that was an adult before they reincarnated which allows the child and teenage MC to be very mature and worldly. That doesn't seem to be the case here, though we've been given minimal information about her past to really be certain.
Overall this story is one of the ones where I'm quite happy to see a newly released chapter, and have failed to build up a backlog of chapters as I tend to prefer. That marks it as quite good, you just have to get through that very rough beginning until she's on her adventures.
There's a lot in this story that I am a fan of, definitely recommend it to any readers looking for a Litrpg. The leveling/class and magic systems are both easy to understand, one of the better litrpg systems I've seen.
Grammar is super solid throuhgout, have yet to really notice any issues.
Update speed is impressive, decently sized chapters updated as rapidly as this story are rare, but somehow Selkie pulls it off.
The beginning was definitely rough, the childness of the MC feels overdone, to the point of annoyance honestly. It does definitely get better as the story goes on though, after the first couple of chapters the MC matures to the point where they are less obnoxious. Becomes a playful character that you can enjoy.
That does bring up one point of contention however. The way that Elaine treats the rangers, Julius in particular, can be somewhat jarring. There are very abrupt jumps from playful camraderie to a super uptight, soldier who has been beaten into respecting the position of command, stand at attention attitude. It feels rather jarring, especially since Elanie has been with the crew for a short period of time. I feel like she would definitely respect them, and having her understand that there are times that she needs to be serious makes sense. However, the jumps to seriousness feel a bit overdone and sort of break immersion.
Worldbuilding is still pretty rough, we've gotten info. over the rangers and some general societal things, but as for the actual world itself theres been very little information given. Another review mentioned it, but this lack of concrete world building makes a few things stand out, primarily the sexism. It's established that the world is extremely patriarchal, but there hasn't really been a reason given for it. Pretty much all the older civilizations had sexism present, but there were reasons for it, women being less phyiscally powerful, stuff like that. The sexism here seems to be of the same sort, but there hasn't been really anything explaining why women aren't citizens or anything like that other than the whole ancient civilization=patriarchy. Especially with the litrpg elements, presumably women could become just as powerful as men with levels and classes, which would cancel out the phyiscal advantage that men have.
The story itself isn't something that's never been done before, but it is very well done and a fun read all throughout. So far looks like it's going to be mainly adventuring which is always fun.
First of all the story itself is quite solid, but there are some issues with the charecters.
Shortly to the story: I find the concept of a Girl who is trying to overcome a sexist society generally nice. The problem is, that there are from the MCs view two major issues in this world slavery and sexism. Slavery is as far as I am simply never mentioned again after some time which I found a bit disappointing and Sexism is the part where I find some issues with the cast. So to put it simple everyone importent as far as I have seen is in some form against sexism, and it simply exist to further the war. But whenever someone is sexist, that personapparently can´t be otherwise a niche fellow he always has to be a giant ass. I personally would have liked to see there more komplex charecters but otherwise the story is quite solid.