Beneath the Dragoneye Moons

Beneath the Dragoneye Moons

by Selkie

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Winner of the 2022 Stabby Award!


 

Elaine is ripped from this world to Pallos, a land of unlimited possibilities made real by a grand System governing classes, skills, and magic.

An ideal society? What is this, a fantasy novel?

Adventures? Right this way!

A Grand quest? Nah.

Friends and loot? Heck yes!

Humans are the top dog? Nope, dinosaur food.

Healing and fighting? Well, everything is trying to eat her.

Join Elaine as she travels around Pallos, discovering all the wonders and mysteries of the world, trying to find a place where she belongs, hunting those elusive mangos, all while the ominous Dragoneye Moons watch her every move.


Hey! Beneath the Dragoneye Moons is my first writing effort, so please be kind, but don’t hesitate to point out the flaws.

The story starts off slowly, more like a slice of life than action-adventure, but it gets there!

I’m going to be posting M-W-F

I do know how the story ends, and I promise if it ever gets dropped, or I stop doing this, I will post the ending. There will be no random “this is the last chapter” out of the blue.


 

 

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Selkie

Selkie

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Table of Contents
387 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Image Gallery! ago
Dedication ago
Chapter 1 - Rebirth ago
Chapter 2 - System Day I ago
Chapter 3 - System Day II ago
Chapter 4 - System Day III ago
Chapter 5 - System Day IV ago
Chapter 6 - Learning Skills I ago
Chapter 7 - Learning Skills II ago
Chapter 8 - Learning Skills III ago
Chapter 9 - The System Unlocks! ago
Chapter 10 - Girl Talk ago
Chapter 11 - Shadowing Guards ago
Chapter 12 - Artemis ago
Chapter 13 - Lessons on Magic ago
Chapter 14 - Decisions I ago
Chapter 15 - Decisions II ago
Chapter 16 - General Skills Bootcamp ago
Chapter 17 - The first Class-up ago
Chapter 18 - So many new skills! ago
Chapter 19 - Funeral ago
Chapter 20 - 6 years and change later ago
Chapter 21 - Catching up ago
Chapter 22 - Injustice ago
Chapter 23 - Level 100 I ago
Chapter 24 - Level 100 II ago
Chapter 25 - Level 100 III ago
Chapter 26 - Level 100 IV ago
Chapter 27 - The Ranger Squad ago
Chapter 28 - Healing ago
Chapter 29 - Secrets, Secrets, They're no Fun ago
Chapter 30 - A conversation ago
Chapter 31 - The Adventure Begins! ago
Chapter 32 – The woods are dark and deep ago
Chapter 33 – Verdant Village ago
Chapter 34 – How far does an Oath go? ago
Chapter 35 – Unless they’re shared with everyone! I ago
Chapter 36 – Unless they’re shared with everyone! II ago
Chapter 37 – On the road ago
Chapter 38 – Voting on Elaine ago
Chapter 39 – Sheep’s Ford ago
Chapter 40 – The road to Virinum I ago
Chapter 41 – The road to Virinum II ago
Chapter 42 – Arrival in Virinum ago
Chapter 43 –Virinum I ago
Chapter 44 –Virinum II ago
Chapter 45 –Virinum III ago
Chapter 46 –Virinum IV ago
Chapter 47 –Virinum V ago
Chapter 48 – Virinum VI ago
Chapter 49 – Classing up I ago
Chapter 50 – Classing up II ago
Interlude - The Magic Elements Explained! ago
Chapter 51 – New Skills I ago
Chapter 52 – Shield Skills with Artemis ago
Chapter 53 – Dodging the Guard ago
Chapter 54 – Shield skills with Maximus ago
Chapter 55 – Fire Training ago
Chapter 56 – Adventures in Virinum I ago
Chapter 57 – Adventures in Virinum II ago
Chapter 58 – Adventures in Virinum III ago
Chapter 59 – Adventures in Virinum IV ago
Chapter 60 – Adventures in Virinum V ago
Chapter 61 – Adventures in Virinum VI ago
Chapter 62 – Leaving Virinum ago
Chapter 63 – Adventures on the way to Perinthus I ago
Chapter 64 – Adventures on the way to Perinthus II ago
Chapter 65 – Adventures on the way to Perinthus III ago
Chapter 66 – Adventures on the way to Perinthus IV ago
Chapter 67 – Adventures on the way to Perinthus V ago
Chapter 68 – Adventures on the way to Perinthus VI ago
Chapter 69 – Classing up! ago
Chapter 70 – Arriving in Perinthus ago
Chapter 71 – Plague I ago
Chapter 72– Plague II ago
Chapter 73– Plague III ago
Chapter 74– Plague IV ago
Chapter 75– Plague V ago
Chapter 76– Plague VI ago
Chapter 77– Plague VII ago
Chapter 78– Plague VIII ago
Chapter 79– Plague IX – The Greater Good ago
Chapter 80– Plague X ago
Chapter 81– Plague XI ago
Chapter 82– Plague XII ago
Chapter 83– Plague XIII ago
Chapter 84– Plague XIV ago
Chapter 85– Plague XV ago
Chapter 86– Plague XVI ago
Chapter 87– Plague XVII ago
Chapter 87.5 Bonus Chapter: Julia and Elainus react to Elaine running away. ago
Chapter 88– Plague Aftermath ago
Chapter 89– Sing my name, for a thousand years ago
Chapter 90– Brigantium I ago
Chapter 91– Brigantium II ago
Chapter 92– Libraries and babies ago
Chapter 93– A Dozen Different Methods of Death ago
Chapter 94– Entering Ariminum, The Capital ago
Chapter 95– Minor Interlude – Julius Reports to Command ago
Chapter 96– Prelude to a meeting ago
Chapter 97– Reunion ago
Chapter 98– Government Vivisectionists ago
Chapter 99– The Grand Ranger Meeting ago
Chapter 100– Major Interlude – Iona – The Tunnel to Terrabethia ago
Chapter 101– Ranger Academy I ago
Chapter 102– Ranger Academy II ago
Chapter 103– Ranger Academy III ago
Chapter 104– Ranger Academy IV ago
Chapter 105– Ranger Academy V ago
Chapter 106– Ranger Academy VI ago
Chapter 107– Ranger Academy VII ago
Chapter 108– Ranger Academy VIII ago
Chapter 109– Ranger Academy IX ago
Chapter 110– Ranger Academy X ago
Chapter 111– Ranger Academy XI ago
Chapter 112.1– Ranger Academy XII ago
Chapter 112.2– Ranger Academy XII ago
Chapter 113.1– Ranger Academy XIII ago
Chapter 113.2– Ranger Academy XIII ago
Chapter 114.1– Ranger Academy XIV ago
Chapter 114.2– Ranger Academy XIV ago
Chapter 115.1– Ranger Academy XV- Classing up! ago
Chapter 115.2– Ranger Academy XV- Classing up! ago
Chapter 116.1– Ranger Academy XVI ago
Chapter 116.2– Ranger Academy XVI ago
Chapter 117.1– Ranger Academy XVII- Graduation ago
Chapter 117.2– Ranger Academy XVII- Graduation ago
Chapter 118.1 – Ranger Convocation ago
Chapter 118.2 – Ranger Convocation ago
Chapter 119.1 – A date ago
Chapter 119.2 – A date ago
Chapter 119.3 – A date ago
Chapter 120.1 – History Lessons ago
Chapter 120.2 – History Lessons ago
Interlude - Bonus Content - Black Crow//White Dove ago
Chapter 121 – Winding down ago
Chapter 122 – What to do with myself ago
Chapter 123 – Medical Manuscript ago
Chapter 124 – Preparing ago
Chapter 125 – Traveling to Deva ago
Chapter 126 – Deva I ago
Chapter 127 – Deva II ago
Chapter 128 – Deva III ago
Chapter 129 – Deva IV ago
Chapter 130 – Deva V ago
Chapter 131 – Returning Home I ago
Chapter 132 – Returning Home II ago
Chapter 133 – Returning Home III ago
Chapter 134 – Returning Home IV ago
Chapter 135 – Returning Home V ago
Chapter 136 – Returning Home VI ago
Chapter 137 – Returning Home VII ago
Chapter 138 – Returning Home VIII ago
Chapter ???? – The Coven of Fabulous Witches 0 ago
Chapter ???? – The Coven of Fabulous Witches III ago
Chapter 139 – After Action Report ago
Chapter 140 – Smoke and Mirrors ago
Chapter 141 – Autumn ago
Chapter 142 – Schools ago
Chapter 143 – Companion information ago
Chapter 144 – Adventurer’s Guild ago
Chapter 145 – Sentinel Dawn ago
Chapter 146.1 – Major Interlude – Iona – The 300. ago
Chapter 146.2 – Major Interlude – Iona – The 300. ago
Chapter 146.3 – Major Interlude – Iona – The 300. ago
Chapter 146.4 – Major Interlude – Iona – The 300. ago
Chapter 146.5 – Major Interlude – Iona – The 300. ago
Chapter 146.6 – Major Interlude – Iona – The 300. ago
Chapter 146.7 – Major Interlude – Iona – The 300. ago
Chapter 147 – A day in the life I ago
Chapter 148 – A day in the life II ago
Chapter 149 – Massage ago
Chapter 150 – Formorians I ago
Chapter 151 – Formorians II ago
Chapter 152 – Formorians III ago
Chapter 153 – Formorians IV ago
Chapter 154 – Formorians V ago
Chapter 155 – Formorians VI ago
Chapter 156 – Formorians VII ago
Chapter 157 – Formorians VIII ago
Chapter 158 – Formorians IX ago
Chapter 159 – Formorians X ago
Chapter 160 – Formorians XI ago
Chapter 161 – Formorians XII ago
Chapter 162 – Celestial Class up! I ago
Chapter 163.1 – Celestial Class up! II ago
Chapter 163.2 – Celestial Class up! II ago
Chapter 164.1 – Celestial Class up! III ago
Chapter 164.2 – Celestial Class up! III ago
Chapter 165 – Skills Skills Skills ago
Chapter 166 – Party ago
Chapter 167 – Mourning ago
Chapter 168.1 – Aftermath ago
Chapter 168.2 – Aftermath ago
Chapter 169 – Sentinel Meeting ago
Chapter 170 – Heading Out ago
Chapter 171 – Let’s go fly a kite ago
Chapter 172 – The Formorian Lands I ago
Chapter 173 – The Formorian Lands II ago
Chapter 174 – The Formorian Lands III ago
Chapter 175 – The Formorian Lands IV ago
Chapter 176 – Dwarves I ago
Chapter 177 – Dwarves II ago
Chapter 178 – Dwarves III ago
Chapter 179 – Dwarves IV ago
Chapter 180 – Dwarves V ago
Chapter 181 – Dwarves VI ago
Chapter 182 – Dwarves VII ago
Chapter 183 – Dwarves VIII ago
Chapter 184 – Dwarves IX ago
Chapter 185 – Dwarves X ago
Chapter 186 – Dwarves XI ago
Chapter 187 - The Dragoneye Moons I ago
Chapter 188 - The Dragoneye Moons II ago
Chapter 189 - The Dragoneye Moons III ago
Chapter 190 Minor Interlude – Autumn – The Letters I ago
Chapter 191 Interlude - The Letters II ago
Worldbuilding - What caused the deadzone? ago
Chapter 192 – The Fall ago
Chapter ??? - Dragoneye Mortis 1.1 ago
Chapter ??? - Dragoneye Mortis 1.2 ago
Chapter ??? - Dragoneye Mortis 1.3 ago
Chapter ??? - Dragoneye Mortis 1.4 ago
Chapter 193 – Major Interlude – Iona – Julie d’Audrey I ago
Chapter 194 – Major Interlude – Iona – Julie d’Audrey II ago
Chapter 195 – Major Interlude – Iona – Julie d’Audrey III ago
Chapter 196 - Journey to the center of Pallos I ago
Chapter 197 - Journey to the center of Pallos II ago
Chapter 198 - Journey to the center of Pallos III ago
Chapter 199- Journey to the center of Pallos IV ago
Chapter 200 - Journey to the center of Pallos V ago
Chapter 201 - Journey to the center of Pallos VI ago
Chapter 202 - Journey to the center of Pallos VII ago
Chapter 203 - Journey to the center of Pallos VIII ago
Chapter 204 - Journey to the center of Pallos IX ago
Chapter 205 - Journey to the center of Pallos X ago
Chapter 206 - Journey to the center of Pallos XI ago
Chapter 207 - Journey to the center of Pallos XII ago
Chapter 208 - Journey to the center of Pallos XIII ago
Chapter 209 - Journey to the center of Pallos XIV ago
Chapter 210 - Journey to the center of Pallos XV ago
Chapter 211 - Radiance Class-up I ago
Chapter 212.1 - Radiance Class-up II ago
Chapter 212.2 - Radiance Class-up II ago
Chapter 213.1 - Shiny New Skills! I ago
Chapter 213.2 - Shiny New Skills! I ago
Chapter 214 - Shiny New Skills! II ago
Chapter 215 - The Golden Cage I ago
Chapter 216 - The Golden Cage II ago
Chapter 217 - The first escape attempt! I ago
Chapter 218 - The first escape attempt!! II ago
Chapter 219 - Alone in the Dark I ago
Chapter 220 - Alone in the Dark II ago
Chapter 221 - Beneath the Dragon’s Eyes I ago
Chapter 222 - Beneath the Dragon’s Eyes II ago
Chapter 223.1 - Beneath the Dragon’s Eyes III ago
Chapter 223.2 - Beneath the Dragon’s Eyes III ago
Chapter 224 - Flying Free ago
Chapter 225 - Free Butterfly ago
Chapter 226 - A campfire meeting ago
Chapter 227 - Shimagu ago
Chapter 228 - Biohazard ago
Chapter 229 - Barbeque ago
Chapter 230 - On Immortality ago
Chapter 231 - Elvish Adventures! I ago
Chapter 232 – Elvish Adventures! II ago
Chapter 233 - Centaurs ago
Chapter 234 - Traveling through the plains ago
Chapter 235 - The Hydra I ago
Chapter 236 - The Hydra II ago
Chapter 237 - The Hydra III ago
Chapter 238 - The Hydra IV ago
Chapter 239 - Afterparty ago
Chapter 240 - Minor Interlude - Rostellio ago
Chapter 241 - Kickass Kissing ago
Chapter 242 - Stony Statues ago
Chapter 243 - Fall Festival I ago
Chapter 244 - Fall Festival II ago
Chapter 245 - Water Worries ago
Chapter 246 - Dancing in the starlight ago
Catchup Artwork! ago
Chapter 247 - Perilous Purses ago
Chapter 248 - Pound of Flesh ago
Chapter 249 - Caravan Concerns I ago
Chapter 250 - Caravan Concerns II ago
Chapter 251.1 - Ethical Examinations ago
Chapter 251.2 - Ethical Examinations ago
Chapter 251.3 - Ethical Examinations ago
Chapter 251.4 - Ethical Examinations ago
Chapter 252 - Immortality Investigations ago
Chapter 253 - The Never-Fading Star ago
Chapter 254 - The Sex Talk I ago
Chapter 255 - The Sex Talk II ago
Chapter 256 - Spinosaurus Surprise ago
Chapter 257 - Peer Pressure ago
Chapter 258 - Municipal Massacre I ago
Chapter 259 - Minor Interlude - Yigruk the Ogre ago
Chapter 260 - Municipal Massacre II ago
Chapter 261 - Municipal Massacre III ago
Chapter 262 - Municipal Massacre IV ago
Chapter 263 - Municipal Massacre V ago
Chapter 264 - Municipal Massacre VI ago
Chapter 265 - From Dawn till Dusk ago
Chapter 266 - Return to Remus ago
Chapter 267 - Homecoming ago
Chapter 268 - Mango Mania ago
Chapter 269 - Grouchy Guards, Corrupt Constables ago
Chapter 270 - Thundamoo Troubles ago
Chapter 271 - Hatching Hazards ago
Chapter 272.1 - Major Interlude - Iona - Sigrun I ago
Chapter 272.2 - Major Interlude - Iona - Sigrun I ago
Chapter 273.1 - Major Interlude - Iona - Sigrun II ago
Chapter 273.2 - Major Interlude - Iona - Sigrun II ago
Chapter 274.1 - Major Interlude - Iona - Sigrun III ago
Chapter 274.2 - Major Interlude - Iona - Sigrun III ago
Chapter 274.3 - Major Interlude - Iona - Sigrun III ago
Chapter 275 - Auri Anxiety I ago
Chapter 276 - Auri Anxiety II ago
Chapter 277 - Burning Brightly ago
Chapter 278 - On the road to Arminium I ago
Chapter 279 - On the road to Arminium II ago
Chapter 280 - Triumphant Return ago
Chapter 281 - Artemis!! ago
Chapter ??? - The Wish 1 ago
Chapter 282 – Family Reunion ago
Chapter 283 - Reporting back I ago
Chapter 284 - Reporting back II ago
Chapter 285 - Reporting Back III ago
Chapter 286 - Reporting Back IV ago
Chapter 287 - Reporting back V ago
Chapter 288 - The Endless To-do List I ago
Chapter 289 - The Endless To-do List II ago
Chapter 290 - The Endless To-do List III ago
Chapter 291 - The Endless To-do List IV ago
Chapter 292 - The Endless To-do List V ago
Chapter 293 - Emperor Augustus ago
Chapter 294 - Sentinel Smackdown ago
Chapter 295 - Injustice II ago
Chapter 296 - Negotiation Night I ago
Chapter 297 - Negotiation Night II ago
Chapter 298 - The Dawn of Change ago
Chapter 299 - The White Dove once again ago
Chapter 300 - The Triumph of Sentinel Dawn I ago
Chapter 301 - The Triumph of Sentinel Dawn II ago
Chapter 302 - Musings on the 3rd class I ago
Chapter 303 - Musings on the third class II ago
Chapter 304 - Three Curses ago
Chapter 305 - The Most Dangerous Game I ago
Chapter 306 - The Most Dangerous Game II ago
Chapter 307 - Minor Interlude - Auri - Left Behind ago
Chapter 308 - Moments before disaster ago
Chapter 309 - The Midas Touch ago
Chapter 310 - The Last Supper ago
Chapter 311 - End of an Era ago
Chapter 312 - Dawn of the Longest Day ago
Chapter 313 - The Longest Day ago
Chapter 314 - Minor Interlude - Night - The Relentless Passage of Time ago
The problems with Beneath the Dragoneye Moons ago
Chapter 315 - Minor interlude - Julia - Life goes on ago
Chapter 316 - The Beginning, Once Again ago
Chapter 317 - The Dingpocalypse ago
Chapter 318 - Slow and Steady ago
Chapter 319 - They Meet in a Tavern ago
Chapter 320 - Major Interlude - Iona - They Meet in a Tavern I ago
Chapter 321 - Major Interlude - Iona - They Meet in a Tavern II ago
Chapter 322 - Hunted Existence ago
Chapter 323 - Vorlers, Spiders, and more! ago
Chapter 324 - The Distance Traveled ago
Chapter 325 - To the School of Sorcery and Spellcraft! ago
Chapter 326 - Entrance Exams I ago
Chapter 327 - Entrance Exams II ago
Chapter 328 - Entrance Exams III ago
Chapter 329 - Entrance Exams IV ago
Chapter 330 - Minor Interlude - Mormerilhawn - Dominance ago
Chapter 331 - Scholarships and Scoldings ago
Chapter 332 - Papers Please! ago
Chapter 333 - They Were Roommates! ago
Chapter 334 - Orientation ago
Chapter 335 - Advisor Meeting ago
Chapter 336 - The Medical Manuscripts ago
Chapter 337 - The Big Book of Classes and How to Get Them ago
Chapter 338 - The Third Class I ago
Chapter 339 - The Third Class II ago
Chapter 340 - Student of the Ages ago
Chapter 341 - Getting to the first day of class ago
Chapter 342 - First Day of Class I ago
Chapter 343 - First Day of Class II ago

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InsanElder
Overall

LITRPG, but not too heavy on stats. A kind of Isekay and a strong, but not overpower character.

This novel goes to something that is similar to a medieval fantasy at the begining, but as the world is presented it shows that it is very original.

I like the way that this story looks very familiar but at the same time very original. The way that stats and skills are ver important, but they are not the whole of power.

Very good 3D characters.

John_Ehr
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

currently binge reading, posted at ch.70

Reviewed at: Chapter 69 – Classing up!

As stated in the title, I am currently binge-reading this story. While the starting point of a reincarnation as well as the litrpg elements is nothing new, I think this story uses them well. I specifically have to point out the integration of tradeoffs between the different stats, it's bold and I like it. Same with the more realistic storytelling and character developments. Some might disagree but I appreciate the authors approach to plot armor, allowing for more immersion and better written character in my opinion. I also really like that humans are not at the top in this story!!

What I also want to mention how much I appreciate that the author also integrated larger social issues into the world such as slavery and sexism/chauvinism while doing a really god job to do it in an non-offensive way to the reader, crafting a clear image of the society of this world.

The writing style itself as well as the grammar is nothing special, in the sense that I got nothing to complain about. It's good, makes for pleasant reading.

Conclusion: totally recommend to read! (might edit later if my opinion changes after reading more ;) )

P.S. almost forgot even though it is very obvious ^^ how cool is it to have the main character be a healer??? (very!)

LivingCog
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Funny unique story but with some tone problems

Reviewed at: Chapter 331 - Scholarships and Scoldings

This is a funny story with a somewhat unique gaming system.

The story is some what standard longterm litRPG story where the goal of reading is not to se the hero save the world but to follow the mc and live in the world through the characters. So the story will live and die with how the world and the characters are.

The world is a unique take on the old classical world of the Roman republic, though it will not go in to the politics of the Roman republic while sometimes at the same time criticize it in a mostly humorous way by having the mc rant about it.

The flaw in this story is that it is unfocused. Which is the norm in most of the longterm chapter to chapter storytelling. Where if any point or moral is meant to be shown or taught it is muddled by the unfocus of the story.

The strength of the story is the world and the sense of humor in the world. This world has a great presence and at least I really feel that this is world in which to laugh and have fun in.

The grammar is not something I can comment on.

There is sometimes a tone problem with the characters and the scenes chosen. Where for example a very serious character who is known for not handeling pressure well suddenly in a serious situation started cracking jokes. Would have worked with another character but with that character. Which woresn a different problem where characters on the same side start to feel really homogeneous.

Final point, if you have the humor this will be one of the best story's you read on RR but if not then you  find many characters and scenes irritating.

1212B
Overall

Chasing the goals, neglecting the way

Reviewed at: Chapter 323 - Vorlers, Spiders, and more!

Last edited: August 2. 2022

Beneath the Dragoneye Moons is a story with great aspirations, I think that oozes out of this story's every pore. One really doesn't have to look further than the impressive worldbuilding, to realise this.

I never expected to see a roman-empire-esque civilisation in the tropics, coexisting with dinosaurs so seamlessly and if that isn't a testament to the sheer amount of legwork that has been done behind the scenes, I don't know what is.

In general this story manages to take the tried and true fabric of the isekai-litRPG gente and interweaves it with unique elements that keep you returning for more.

 

However, these aspirations also work to the story's detriment, as — in my opinion — the author doesn't have the skill to pull them off in just the right way... Or perhaps more aptly, the determination to see them through.

In general, at many points in the story it feels like the author is chasing a specific goal he has in mind, while kinda messing up the 'how' and 'why' of getting there and the consequences of both the decision made on the way and of the goal itself. 

He knows where he wants to go, but he doesn't quite know how to get there and also doesn't want to go one iota further than them.

On the one hand, I admire that the author doesn't cave to audience pressure easily and doesn't present a watered-down version of the story he wants to tell.

On the other hand... God I wish he'd just cave on certain things, because I'd rather take mediocrity than something that actively hurts my reading experience.

 

Let's take our main character as an example: (minor spoilers)

Elaine is pretty explicitly written as having ADHD. Her mind keeps straying, jumping from place to place — Often at the worst moments.

So what does the story do with this?

... Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

It doesn't show her coping with it. She doesn't have to awkwardly ask for parts of an important briefing to be repeated because her concentration lapsed, and we rarely see her fighting to not get distracted. 

Instead, even when she wasn't paying attention to 80% of some briefing, she just mentally shrugs her shoulders and says "Oh well. It'll be fine." — Which could also be interesting, if something happened because of this leading to her growing as a character... But nothing does.

She has ADHD, but how does this truly affect her beyond the surface level of 'I can't remember this part'? 

What trouble does it cause her? How does she feel about it? How does she cope and attempt to circumvent the hurdles it brings with it.

We get none of this.

If anything her ADHD is used for comedy such as all the instances of her concentration immediately lapsing as soon as a mango enters her perception in a repeating joke that has left me stonefaced ever since it's first occurrence.

Another one of her flaws is how easily she trusts others and divulges secrets... Which does occasionally come back to bite her, but she doesn't learn from this either.

At this point I am just wondering whether she is just not allowed to have character development.

Will her character traits forever be: "ADHD, childish, trusting, likes mangos"?

As this story has progressed I keep on feeling like she's nothing but a vehicle for plot — A puppet tugged along on more than visible strings. One that increasingly grates on my patience.

 

As a second example, let's take a look at sexism and slavery in the story: (minor spoilere)

I honestly think it does this rather well done — In the beginning, at least.

Many reviews and comments go on and on about how "sexism isn't rational" in this fantasy world. But is it ever rational? 

I liked that the story went deeper into the absolute dependence of a wife on her husband and the lack of legal protection she has. Same holds true to the practice of slavery.

So we're doing great... At least until the first arc is over. After this, presumably because the author didn't want the story's tone to be bleak, these issues are basically completely sweeped under the rug.

Sure once and again some guard will ask her why she's out at night, but that's pretty much the the extent these issues have been reduced to.

Of course, Elaine can't really do anything about them immediately. But she's never had as much as a single thought about trying to change something, either about her own circumstances, or society at large.

Just a thought of "Fuck this republic, I'm this close to living out in the woods" or her getting involved in some minor matter pertaining to any of these topics would go a long way.

Does she have any loyalties to this nation, or would she pack up her things and her family and emigrate to the next best civilisation, should the chance arise?

We don't know.

Instead... These big thematic elements have all but completely dropped off the map, for no apparent reason.

Again: There's so much good potential here, but it just gets sweeped under the rug because the author wanted to show the reader this part of the society, but didn't actually want to write on a deeper level about it.

What is it author? Do you want to make these things plot points, or don't you? Please don't half-ass it!

 

Edit — 14th of March 2020:

These issues have been addressed to a significant degree in recent chapters. Thanks, Selkie. 

 

In closing:

Objectively there are far less issues here than in most other stories on this site. But what really hurts about these ones is the fact that I get the feeling that they will never go away. They will just keep on mounting and mounting until slowly even the worldbuilding will not be able to keep me invested.

Because I don't disagree with the writing skill and aptitude — I disagree with the conscious decisions behind the story, the planning, the themes and tone, how they are presented and to what extent.

Edit — 14. of March 2022:

There used to be something here, it has been scrubbed.

I hope you have a good day.

 

 

 

 

 

kkarakk
Overall

Very good and binge worthy story. Few story gripes that make me knock off a star  

1.MC is troglodyte level dumb. We're talking 90 IQ dumb - can only barely reason out things she was directly taught. Her leveling up quickly is kinda insulting to everyone in the universe who had to actually think their way past solutions and EVERYONE seems smarter than her. Subtle critique of modern feminists? Idk  

2.Abilities can literally do everything and MC rarely faces a challenge that she fails. If she does fail she is rescued immediately. Anyone who is really important to MC - for eg artemis- never faces any danger.  

 

Overall a cliche dumb OP MC with a heavy smattering of modern identity politics thrown in.  Very uninspired and by the numbers writing but I see how this will appeal to ppl who like modern YA 

shadowblah
Overall

Worth your time, but requires patience.

Reviewed at: Chapter 139 – After Action Report

There's a lot of good in the story, from the characters, world, and pacing. Aside from one bump early on that made me stop reading for several months (only to decide to give it another chance), everything about the story is good. It has payoffs and set ups over a long period of time, and shorter arcs.

There are times where you, as a reader, need to put some faith in the author to put some pieces together in the future. Especially in the world building and piecing together how the status-quo got to be as it is. I think the faith isn't misplaced, but it also sometimes asks a little too much.

Impia
Overall

Engrossing and deeply satisfying

Reviewed at: Chapter 1 - Rebirth

I have read several stories that could tentatively be described as "Isekais." This is the first one I've absolutely loved. I have been ravenously reading it the past few days. I signed up for this site specifically to follow this story. (I've read the whole thing as of this review; I don't know if that's apparent, since I didn't create the account until I'd caught up. Too busy reading.) 

Thank you so much, Selkie! I eagerly await reading this as long as it goes on.

reil-rhiil
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Colorful characters in a colorful world.

Reviewed at: Chapter 110– Ranger Academy X

I'm gonna get the minutiae out of the way first. 

Style: standard first person storytelling, really well done. The pacing is very nice, good detail when needed, but it doesnt drag and it doesn't skip from fight to fight like a murder hobo Chronicle. 

Story: A lovely tale of a young woman striving to be more than her surroundings demand, and making a fair bit of a racket doing it! It's fun to watch a hero who faces obstacles beyond those that can punched into submission. How will she break the limits of her society, and will she do so in a way that opens the path for others, or is she merely one of the exceptions to the rule?

Grammar: is good. What else is there to say?

Character: while it might be nice to have more solid physical character descriptions, there are no flat characters here, beyond maybe Kerberos, but that may be remedied sometime in the future. All characters are notable, unique, well thought out, and well executed. This is a vibrant world, full of vibrant people.

Thanks to those who read this far, and thanks to the author for writing this wonderful work!

Oh, and congrats on your wee baby!!

ProphetOfDisappointment
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This is my first review so sorry if its unreadable or just outright confusing. Skip to the end if you want the short version of the review. 

Let's start with the positive parts of this story, from my perspective. 

The world itself is very interesting from what I have read. There is a war in the background that seems to be a threat that will come into focus later on in the story, but for now we only know that it seems to be a war with another species. The focus so far have been more on the nation and cities rather than the whole world/continent. There seems to be hints that there exists more nations with humans in them but so far we are only aware of the main nation and it's allied nation, which if I remember correctly was hinted to be more of a city-state.

What this story does very well is give off the feeling that humans are not the dominant species who rules everything. There are many stories around where the author has stated that humans are weak but have later on had problems following through on that and allowed humans to be nigh-unbeatable. In this story you will not find this flaw, as the author stated in the summary humans are not the top dog and every time the protagonist goes outside the city walls you can feel the untamed wilderness around them with dangers hidden in the surrounding. Of course there are dangers lurking in the shadows of the cities aswell. 

Overall the author does a great job in conveying and really making you feel as if this is a proper world with many dangers. This is in my opinion the best part of the novel and I can barely get enough of it. 

 

Now the negative parts. 

Sexism without reason, read the review of Ziggy, unearned sexism from poor world building, I aggressive with what he is saying. Also remember this is a litrpg world where you can upgrade your stats and gain skills, classes and levels. 

The characters. I do not like nor believe in perfect character, flaws are what makes characters go from archetypes to someone you wish was real so you could befriend or just chat with them, they are a necessary part in making character feel less like puppets following the authors demands and more of creatures who make their own decisions. The problem comes when the flaws are so many or so big that they overshadow everything else that the character is suppose to be, to the point one can only see the flaws in them. Another problem is when the flaws are directly opposed to the characters background and story.

Let me give you an example, someone in this world elite military unit has just gotten a direct order from their captain to protect another member of their team, this other member is extremely weak and has just spent the day healing people and by doing so essentially become a target for any slavers who could sell them at a high price or any other person desperate enough to try rob/kidnapp them. Now what should this elite member do? 

Should they? 

A: protect the healer and escort them back to the rest of the team or any other safe spot like a guard station, and then go out in town to play around. 

B: Ask some guards(or someone they can trust) to guide the healer to a safe spot, and after doing this go out to play around. 

C: Abandon their duty to play around and let the healer walk home by themselves in the middle of the night while knowing full well that some people can hide from their perception skills. 

I will give you a hint in what they choose to do. Let just say that the person in question does not seem to have had any sort of training to suppress their desires. 

 

That was just a example of flaws but the most infuriating person is actually the protagonist who no matter what happens does not seem to grow up. When I made this review I had just read chapter 60. 60 chapters of very little real character growth for the protagonist does not make the future look bright for them.

I will now tell of two major problems that I have with the protagonist, other than that she never grows up.

First problem is in how she acts to counter herself. She dreams of becoming a healer and after an unfortunate accident she vows to never hurt anyone and help everyone she can. This gives her a unique skill which makes her healing much better compared to others her level. But remember this is a dangerous world where she does not only have to protect herself from monster but people too, well I'm sure you see where the problem shows up. Not only does this limit it also hinders her teammates because she might need to heal their enemies, suddenly she is a very real hinderance in human fights. But she loves her freedom meaning she does not want to be restricted and she also wants to travel with them, so not only is she hindering herself she is also a huge liability to her teammates but she never questions if she should throw away the skill.       As a side not, it's kinda hilarious how she wants to be completely free but she can't because of her skills restrictions. 

The other problem comes into focus when she gains the chance to get another class. Instead of choosing something that compliments her healing making it more powerful or choosing something that negates her incredible weak self-defense. Because of her childishness she forces the system to give her a class that will be able to give her two abilities in the future even after being warned that it's not a suitable class for her. Ability one, the ability to fly. Ability two, the ability to throw fireballs (remember, she is sworn to do no harm). This puts into focus her childishness and her inability to grow up,  as a note,  this is after she has been put in danger many times already and she has lamented her own weakness. 

 

I have already dragged out this review so my final sentence will be the following. With the exception of the baseless sexism, the setting and the authors ability to potrey it is amazing but it is unfortunately wasted on the character to the point of making me incredible sad after almost every chapter. 

 

malekithau
Overall

I quite enjoyed the earlier parts of the series right up until just after the capital arc and the author posted a "report" that was essentially spoilers for what is currently happening. I suspect that it's their way of combining the disparate Elaine and Lyra (? I think that's the name - I started to lose interest when this side story was added) storylines.  Regardless the story does not deserve the 1 and 2-star reviews that are being posted.