The Necromancer in Magic School

by SuperApplePie

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Mystery High Fantasy Magic Male Lead School Life Strategy Strong Lead Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Traumatising content

"Magic cannot create life."

This is one of the most basic tenets of magic. And yet, when Professor Adelyn Mackenzie investigates rumours of a talented prospective student in a small village in the middle of nowhere, she finds that he has managed to create the world's first living homunculus.


"Magic is miracle given form."

That is what Cadmus Guiles' sister always said. So, when she died, it was only natural for Cadmus to believe that he could bring her back to life through magic. Now, offered the resources he needs to pursue this path of research, Cadmus gladly accepts to go to the most distinguished school of magic on the continent: The Laurucian Academy of Magic.

However, the Academy is a place of intense competition, and only those who rise to the top may recieve the services and resources that the Academy has to offer. Cadmus believes that he can easily defeat his peers due to him already having broken one of magic's most basic tenets, but it's time for him to learn that talent comes in many different forms...

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SuperApplePie

SuperApplePie

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Kap
Overall

So MC is orphaned at a young age and spends his early teens obsessively studying, to the point that he knows very little about dealing with people. He's cold, blunt, and has the arrogance of someone who has achieved the impossible. He's also driven, honest, and willing to listen to those who know better than him and learns from them. He's slowly making friends (and one rival) while pursuing his life's goal.

A fun read for those who like to see a protagonist grow, but still early days.

voobwig
Overall

This is a fun read. The MC seems to be a genius recluse that is driven by a single goal to the point that his knowledge is spotty at best when it comes to living outside his tiny village.

I look forward to seeing how he grows and learns how to navigate in the high stakes world he's found himself in.

anonymous Morris
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A very enjoyable read so far with no grammar issue! The characters feels much more real than a lot of fantasy stories which I love. The MC's desire for learning meshes a lot better with the reader in a magic school story in my opinion than a student who tries the bare minimum. Part of the joy of reading a magic school setting story is exploring the magic system and a MC that doesn't try his best is just a irritation which is why I very much enjoy this story. 

For the style, I gave a 4/5 because you used nearly an identical discription a few times and the slight use of exposition which is effective but also a bit crude sometimes.

For character score, I gave a 4.5 out of 5 because while I love the development of Oliver as a character and feel incredibly touched, I think it can be so powerful if built up a bit through a few interaction between Camden and Oliver. 

One of the main lesson on writing I learned is the phrase "show don't tell" and I think you did a lot better than most, showing knowledge in magic spell through intricate spell rather than saying how smart they are. Loved that and as a suggestion, I would recommend showing stress in the MC by getting him to work on his own spell in class instead of spacing out one day, I think that's one area with a lot of potential for showing change

dak'kon
Overall

The magic school trope is here to stay, this is another attempt at making a go at it.

The only thing it stands out is the author's good grasp of how to write in English, making for smooth reading.

For characters the author borrows heavily from history and mythology for me it mainly broke immersion and created expectations I'm not sure the author wants to fulfill. Everything else concerning characters is expected for the genre.

In the end it comes down to how much you like the Magic School genere -

if you do you may enjoy the clean execution.

if you don't there is nothing here that really stands out from other Magic Schools.

Acerbic
Overall

Starts as alright-ish school slice-of-life, but then takes a sharp turn at forest arc.

The events are pretty decently explained from the in-setting point of view, but for a reader its quite a shock. I was honestly turned off by the change in the tone.

Writing style is decent, not jarring but not exceptionally succulent either. Characters... are not deep enough and their "vocal names" bordering puns feel weird and out-of-place. Too whimsical, fairy-tale sort of.

 

Ezaiahs
Overall

So far, the story is well written with little to no flaws that one would expect on this site as well.

The characters are interesting, theres a light mystery unfolding to keep people interested in the plot and the interactions are fairly realistic although the MC is written to be a recluse of sorts which makes this easier to write.

What stands out, however, is the fact that the author is dabbling in moving characters out of a simple 1 and faux two dimensional status into something more....real.

Even taking the exposition friend and giving him a solid world view and character arc that shows growth.

 

My only critic is that the standard "this is a magic academy" was kept well, standard. Its not bad but its not anything groundbreaking, I would have preferred  the "magic" in magic academy to be a bit more obvious but I can understand that the author clearly wanted to at least get it out of the way so they could get to the 'meat' of the story.

 

 

Phan_Of_Wafflez
Overall

This story is very good. The grammar and spelling are at least at the university level. The background premise (that of a magical school environment) is not original; but the idea of introducing the first necromancer to a world of magic is very fresh (at least I haven't seen it done before). I like that there isn't a stigma against necromancy in this world (again, because it hasn't existed), so there are none of those overused tropes about the necromancer being belittled and scorned for his craft. I don't see why this story isn't at five stars, as it is high quality work compared to other five star stories I've read.