The Fallen World : A Dungeon's Story

by playwars

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Alexandra Rousseau, an engineer from the European Federation Navy with a dark past, is killed during an accident involving a smuggler, where her body, and part of the station she is standing on, is precipitated into hyperspace. She wakes up in a world of fantasy, with magic, dwarves, elves, enchanted weapons and people capable of superhuman feats. However, she quickly learns that there is something very wrong with this planet, and that forces harnessing the power of a civilization long gone are finally ready to put into motion plans millenias in the making.

Unfortunately, she becomes a casualty of one of these plans, and her short life as an adventurer is ended by her mysterious enemies. She reawakens as a dungeon core. Her enemies have just made the greatest mistake of their life. They have given an engineer of Earth the power to bring back the technology long since thought lost on this planet. And as she does, leviathans of a war that ended an interstellar empire stirr...

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Note : I originally intended to write a dungeon core novel, with a bit more substantial introduction that most. It...went out of hand, as you can probably tell by the 21k word prologue. So, at this point I'm not really sure if it qualifies as a Dungeon story or an Adventure one. Keep in mind, this is my first published story, so there will be errors, feel free to point them out to me.

As for the schedule, I will post a new chapter the 16th and 30th of every month (28th for february). If I accumulate a backlog, I will post the extra chapters in between these slots, resulting in more or less weekly chapters, even if only for a limited time.

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  • Pages :
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playwars

playwars

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ChristopherCraven
Overall

Military Ingenieur from Scifiverse as a dungeon core. Basically a mix up between Magic and Scifi in a dungeon story with cultivators.

Isekaied Heroine that has a short life as an adventure for story building purpose that is made into an artificial core.

Pros:

-cute Vampire as a dungeon advisor.

- Female core and she is not a cute princess

- really good character building and introduction

- loots of hooks and little secrets and mysteries

- military Ingenieur with technology and magic building a dungeon

- chapters around 10k

cons:

- irregular schedule

- we definitely need more chapters

Ondine
Overall

Work In Progress

Reviewed at: Prologue

The setting is cool and there's some fun ideas in the story. Unfortunately, they're ruined by characters who outright state their motivations and act nonsensically, confusing but ever-present exposition dumps, and poor pacing. It has potential, and I could see the writer growing better with practice, but at the moment I would reccommend this story only to people who really like fantasy and want something to pass the time.

Tweedledeeme
Overall

Very good world and even universe building. Story starts out well, but before long your getting confused about what the main story line is. It is difficult to tell if there are multiple plot lines or a single one with supporting points of view (at least for me).

Also the supposed main character starts out reasonably but before long is acting in way that is difficult to identify with, given the kind of past that is hinted at and the experiences she has in this new world. 

Still a great deal of potential though and hope to see more chapters.