The Primal Hunter

The Primal Hunter

by Zogarth

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Book 1 now available on Kindle, Kindle Unlimited & Audible

On just another normal Monday, the world changed. The universe had reached a threshold humanity didn’t even know existed, and it was time to finally be integrated into the vast multiverse. A world where power is the only thing that one can truly rely on.

Jake, a seemingly average office worker, finds himself thrust into this new world. Into a tutorial filled with dangers and opportunities. In a world that should breed fear and concern, an environment that makes his fellow coworkers falter, Jake instead finds himself thriving.

Perhaps… Jake was born for this kind of world, to begin with.


Release Schedule:

5 chapters a week.

Average chapter length: 2500

Tags and content warnings are mainly to give me creative freedom later on. This is my first novel ever, and English isn’t my native language, so go easy on me chaps. Any feedback is more than welcome, of course. Also, this novel is only posted on Royalroad, Patreon, and my Amazon releases, so if you are reading it elsewhere, it's pirated and you suck if you keep reading.

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4th Anniversary
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Word Count (17)
Royal Writathon October 2021 winner
Fledgling Reviewer (IV)
Royal Writathon April 2021 winner
Royal Writathon October 2020 winner
Top List #50
Table of Contents
323 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1 - Another Monday morning ago
Chapter 2 - Introduction ago
Chapter 3 - The tutorial commences ago
Chapter 4 - First battle ago
Chapter 5 - Big pig ago
Chapter 6 - Questioning ago
Chapter 7 - Training & rest ago
Chapter 8 - A wonderful night ago
Keep reading/listening on Amazon's Kindle, Kindle Unlimited and Audible! ago
Chapter 206 - A Real Shitfest ago
Chapter 207 - Enhanced Splitting Arrow ago
Chapter 208 - Dervish ago
Chapter 209 - Worthy Opponents ago
Chapter 210 - Rules of Monkey Hunting ago
Chapter 211 - Matriarchs ago
Chapter 212 - City/Monkey Management ago
Chapter 213 - Monkey Business ago
Chapter 214 - Enjoyment ago
Chapter 215 - Fragmented ago
Chapter 216 - The Calm Before the Politics ago
Chapter 217 - The World Congress Begins ago
Chapter 218 - World Congress: Friendly Talks ago
Chapter 219 - World Congress: Reunion ago
Chapter 220 - World Congress: A Quick Vote ago
Chapter 221 - World Congress: "Confrontations" ago
Chapter 222 - World Congress: On The Flip Of A Coin ago
Chapter 223 - World Congress: System Events ago
Chapter 224 - World Congress: Challenge ago
Chapter 225 - World Congress: Master Negotiator ago
Chapter 226 - World Congress: Final Talks ago
Chapter 227 - Shopping Spree ago
Chapter 228 - A Question of Morality ago
Intermission 6 - William (1/3) ago
Intermission 6 - William (2/3) ago
Intermission 6 - William (3/3) ago
Chapter 229 - A Healthy Diet ago
Chapter 230 - This Chapter Contains Alchemy ago
Chapter 231 - Man Cave(s) ago
Chapter 232 - Nanoblade ago
Chapter 233 - Evil Incarnate ago
Chapter 234 - Questionable Choices ago
Chapter 235 - Golden Mushroom ago
Chapter 236 - Deepdwellers vs Cave Troll (feat. Jake) ago
Chapter 237 - The Paragon Option ago
Chapter 238 - A Distraction ago
Chapter 239 - Justice From Above ago
Chapter 240 - To Upgrade Or Not To Upgrade, That Is The Question. ago
Chapter 241 - The Morality of Domination ago
Chapter 242 - Righteous Crusade ago
Chapter 243 - Schemes Of An Old Man ago
Chapter 244 - Heartwarden ago
Chapter 245 - Assessment ago
Chapter 246 - Census Taking (Hard Mode) ago
Chapter 247 - Gravity Is Your Friend ago
Chapter 248 - Minor Miscalculations ago
Chapter 249 - Priorities ago
Chapter 250 - Altmar Signet ago
Chapter 251 - Stats, Tables & Gear - all the LitRPG! ago
Chapter 252 - Something Long Overdue ago
Chapter 253 - Leatherworkers ago
Chapter 254 - Personal Improvement ago
Chapter 255 - Temple & Blessings ago
Chapter 256 - Servant & Territory ago
Chapter 257 - Will of the Chosen ago
Chapter 258 - Jake the Corpse Merchant ago
Chapter 259 - Taking Advantage of Mistakes ago
Chapter 260 - Keeping It Friendly ago
Chapter 261 - Introspection & Self-Control ago
Chapter 262 - Sultan ago
Chapter 263 - "I don't like you." - Jake Thayne, Year 1, 93rd Era. ago
Chapter 264 - Executive Decision ago
Chapter 265 - Concessions Today, Profits in the Future ago
Chapter 266 - Sultan Has Wares, If You Have Coin ago
Chapter 267 - Five Lights in the Darkness ago
Chapter 268 - Stupid Monkeys & Their Many Uses ago
Chapter 269 - Singular Focus ago
Chapter 270 - Presence ago
Chapter 271 - Memories of (Questionable) Past Deeds ago
Chapter 272 - Skill Choices Are Hard... ago
Chapter 273 - Birds of Prey ago
Chapter 274 - Beatdown ago
Chapter 275 - Teaching the Young ago
Chapter 276 - Sylphie Gets a New friend ago
Chapter 277 - Union Oath ago
Chapter 278 - A Higher Power? No Thanks. ago
Chapter 279 - Scorching the Plains ago
Chapter 280 - Bow & Blade ago
Chapter 281 - Better Boots ago
Chapter 282 - The Power of Haven ago
Chapter 283 - Treasure Hunt? "Let's <CENSORED> Go!" ago
Chapter 284 - Treasure Hunt: A World of Mist ago
Chapter 285 - Treasure Hunt: No Flying Too High ago
Chapter 286 - Treasure Hunt: Fire & Ash ago
Chapter 287 - Treasure Hunt: History Lesson ago
Chapter 288 - Treasure Hunt: Armor of Mist ago
Chapter 289 - Treasure Hunt: The Girl & The Hawk ago
Chapter 290 - Treasure Hunt: Viscount & Count ago
Chapter 291 - Treasure Hunt: Annoying Boss Fight ago
Chapter 292 - Treasure Hunt: Count Down for the Count ago
Chapter 293 - Treasure Hunt: Thief! ago
Chapter 294 - Treasure Hunt: Judging Stuff ago
Chapter 295 - Treasure Hunt: Puzzle ago
Chapter 296 - Treasure Hunt: Collaborative Project ago
Chapter 297 - Treasure Hunt: Pure Ones ago
Chapter 298 - Treasure Hunt: Blood ago
Chapter 299 - Treasure Hunt: Broken Tower ago
Chapter 300 - Treasure Hunt: Root of Resentment ago
Chapter 301 - Treasure Hunt - Count Hunting ago
Chapter 302 - Treasure Hunt: Actual Speedrunning (mostly) ago
Chapter 303 - Treasure Hunt: Blades & Brothers ago
Chapter 304 - Treasure Hunt: Punching Back ago
Chapter 305 - Treasure Hunt: Invincible ago
Chapter 306 - Treasure Hunt: Unreasonable People ago
Chapter 307 - Treasure Hunt: Exchange ago
Chapter 308 - Treasure Hunt: Phase Two ago
Chapter 309 - Treasure Hunt: Vaults ago
Chapter 310 - Treasure Hunt: Out Of Place ago
Chapter 311 - Treasure Hunt: Arrogant Young Master ago
Chapter 312 - Treasure Hunt: Test of Character ago
Chapter 313 - Treasure Hunt: Rubik's Cube ago
Chapter 314 - Treasure Hunt: Valuable Asset ago
Chapter 315 - Treasure Hunt: Another Collaborative Project ago
Chapter 316 - Treasure Hunt: The Importance of Word Choice ago
Chapter 317 - Treasure Hunt: Not Extortion ago
Chapter 318 - Treasure Hunt: Spatial Storage & Parting ago
Chapter 319 - Treasure Hunt: Vault Run = Loot 5.0 ago
Chapter 320 - Treasure Hunt: Submerged ago
Chapter 321 - Treasure Hunt: The Depth of Water ago
Chapter 322 - Treasure Hunt: Be Like Water ago
Chapter 323 - Treasure Hunt: Boss Room, Please? ago
Chapter 324 - Treasure Hunt: A Scaly Intermission ago
Chapter 325 - Treasure Hunt: Serenity & Conflict ago
Chapter 326 - Treasure Hunt: Arrow Time ago
Chapter 327 - Treasure Hunt: The Final Stage ago
Chapter 328 - Treasure Hunt: Starting Shots ago
Chapter 329 - Treasure Hunt: Quite the Mix ago
Chapter 330 - Treasure Hunt: Proposition ago
Chapter 331 - Treasure Hunt - Target Prioritization ago
Chapter 332 - Treasure Hunt: Will of the True Ancestor ago
Chapter 333 - Treasure Hunt: A Leveled Look at Power ago
Amazon Announcement + AMA! ago
Chapter 334 - Treasure Hunt: One Down ago
Chapter 335 - Treasure Hunt: Paths ago
Chapter 336 - Treasure Hunt: Countermeasures ago
Chapter 337 - Treasure Hunt: Holy Blade ago
Chapter 338 - Treasure Hunt: A Final Fight ago
Chapter 339 - Treasure Hunt: Vanity & Patience ago
Chapter 340 - Treasure Hunt: Limit Shatter ago
Chapter 341 - Treasure Hunt - The Duel Begins ago
Chapter 342 - Treasure Hunt: Passion ago
Chapter 343 - Treasure Hunt: Misconception ago
Chapter 344 - Springtime Advent ago
Chapter 345 - Peak of Humanity ago
Chapter 346 - Summer Rain ago
Chapter 347 - A (Potentially) Momentous Duel ago
Chapter 348 - To the End ago
Chapter 349 - After the Hunt ago
Chapter 350 - Reflecting On A Loss and the Question of What the Hell A Transcendence Is ago
Chapter 351 - Combat Styles ago
Chapter 352 - Travel Preparations ago
Chapter 353 - Road Trip Entertainment: Vampire Lore ago
Chapter 354 - Unexpected Visitor ago
Chapter 355 - Visiting Skyggen & Skyggen ago
Chapter 356 - Family Reunion ago
Chapter 357 - Exploring Relationships ago
Chapter 358 - Umbral Lotus ago
Chapter 359 - Sorting Time ago
Chapter 360 - To sell or not to sell, that is the question ago
Chapter 361 - The Auction (Read: Alchemy) Begins! ago
Chapter 362 - A Brief Intermission ago
Chapter 363 - An Epic Mixed Bag ago
Chapter 364 - A Cursed Intermission ago
Chapter 365 - Actually Buying Things ago
Chapter 366 - Bees, Pants & the Geopolitical Landscape ago
Chapter 367 - The Legendaries Cometh ago
Chapter 368 - Scammed ago
Chapter 369 - A Unique Encounter ago
Chapter 370 - You get an item! And you get an item! Everyone gets an item! ago
Chapter 371 - The Good Stuff ago
Chapter 372 - Soul Renewal ago
Chapter 373 - Time Wizard & Future Plans ago
Chapter 374 - Jake's Laboratorium & To-do List ago
Chapter 375 - Oh Gosh, It's a Time Skip! ago
Chapter 376 - A King Reborn ago
Chapter 377 - Jake vs the King (Rematch?) ago
Chapter 378 - Unique Lifeforms ago
Chapter 379 - A Truly Cursed Ritual ago
Chapter 380 - Hunger ago
Chapter 381 - Eternal Hunger ago
Chapter 382 - Progress Through Cursed Slaughter ago
Chapter 383 - Skills & Paths ago
Chapter 384 - Fumigation ago
Chapter 385 - A Path From Inferiority ago
Chapter 386 - First Contact: C-Grade ago
Chapter 387 - Underground ago
Chapter 388 - Onwards! To Haven! ago
Chapter 389 - A Good Eye For People ago
Chapter 390 - A Monumental Monument ago
Chapter 391 - Clearing Up Misconceptions Left & Right ago
Intermission 7/9 - Holyland: All By the Grace of the Holy Mother ago
Chapter 392 - Off He Goes ago
Chapter 393 - Designing the School Uniform ago
Chapter 394 - To Feel the Shroud ago
Chapter 395 - The Weight of Time ago
Chapter 396 - Finding the Purpose ago
Chapter 397 - A Shroud of Stars & School Life Dangers ago
Chapter 398 - School Preparations ago
Chapter 399 - A New Era ago
Chapter 400 - A Diverse Crowd ago
Chapter 401 - Dungeon: Order of the Malefic Viper D-grade entrance-test ago
Chapter 402 - You Win Some, You Lose Some ago
Chapter 403 - Elective Tests ago
Chapter 404 - Readiness Not Found ago
Chapter 405 - Angry Transmutation ago
Chapter 406 - Pretty Easy ago
Chapter 407 - Dominating the Test ago
Chapter 408 - Meeting Expectations ago
Chapter 409 - Extra Credits Hydra ago
Chapter 410 - Beast vs Man ago
Chapter 411 - A Legendary Warrior ago
Chapter 412 - Fangs of Man ago
Chapter 413 - The Human Has Fangs ago
Chapter 414 - Academy Entry Token ago
Chapter 415 - A Different TIme ago
Chapter 416 - An Uncertain Future ago
Chapter 417 - Rules & A Very Good Question ago
Chapter 418 - "The Positive Side" ago
Chapter 419 - Conversations Are Hard ago
Chapter 420 - Blaze It! ago
Chapter 421 - A Life of Punishment ago
Chapter 422 - First Lesson ago
Chapter 423 - Willpower, Flames & Dragons ago
Chapter 424 - Mysterious Senior ago
Chapter 425 - Soulflame & Exposed ago
Chapter 426 - A New Path ago
Chapter 427 - Windy Times Ahead ago
Chapter 428 - Bit of Dragon Lore ago
Chapter 429 - The History of Bloodlines ago
Chapter 430 - Relationships Are Hard. Oh, and Neurotoxins ago
Chapter 431 - Slow And Steady Wins the Race ago
Chapter 432 - Party Prepping ago
Chapter 433 - The Power of Booze ago
Chapter 434 - Outed ago
Book 2 of the Primal Hunter now out on Amazon + Coins. ago
Chapter 435 - Political Maneuvering & Preperations ago
Chapter 436 - Presence of a King ago
Chapter 437 - Discussing the Future of Earth ago
Chapter 438 - Paths To A Better Future ago
Chapter 439 - A Good Chat & Hidden Agendas ago
Chapter 440 - A Case of Bad Communication ago
Chapter 441 - The Right Path ago
Chapter 442 - Golden Opportunities Only A Moron Would Waste ago
Chapter 443 - Vampire Visit ago
Chapter 444 - The Sentiment of Vampires ago
Chapter 445 - Vampire Hoarders ago
Chapter 446 - Heart of the Alchemist ago
Chapter 447 - Momentum + Wealth = Progress ago
Chapter 448 - Unexpected New Paths ago
Chapter 449 - Oras ago
Chapter 450 - Comprehending the Incomprehensible ago
Chapter 451 - Ambermill: A Quaint Little Town ago
Chapter 452 - Friendly Advice & Competition ago
Chapter 453 - Earth Elemental Prima ago
Chapter 454 - The Great Escape ago
Chapter 455 - Grand Mangrove River ago
Chapter 456 - Bend! ago
Chapter 457 - The Depths of the Grand Mangrove River ago
Chapter 458 - Making "Friends" ago
Chapter 459 - Port City Changlun ago
Chapter 460 - Crossing the Great Pond ago
Chapter 461 - City-Hopping ago
Chapter 462 - Tracking & Danger Bird ago
Chapter 463 - Paradise ago
Chapter 464 - Gambling Time ago
Chapter 465 - The Importance of Keeping Up Appearances ago
Chapter 466 - The Salvento Family ago
Chapter 467 - Peak Family Drama ago
Chapter 468 - A One-Sided Family Feud ago
Chapter 469 - Catharsis ago
Chapter 470 - The Morning After ago
Chapter 471 - Jungle Hunting ago
Chapter 472 - Skills, Statuses, & A Stealthy Future ago
Chapter 473 - Covert Wills ago
Chapter 474 - Stealth Archer Training ago
Chapter 475 - Phantomshade Panther ago
Chapter 476 - In the Jungle... ago
Chapter 477 - The Mighty Jungle... ago
Chapter 478 - The Hunter Sleeps Tonight ago
Chapter 479 - A Step Forward For the Universe ago
Chapter 480 - Seat of the Exalted Prima ago
Chapter 481 - Unrealistic Planetary Standards ago
Chapter 482 - Path of Myriad Choices ago
Chapter 483 - A Very Different Life ago
Chapter 484 - Understanding Thyself ago
Chapter 485 - A Lonely Existence ago
Chapter 486 - Profession?? ago
Chapter 487 - A Path To Survival ago
Chapter 488 - The Faint Line Between The Virtual & Reality ago
Book 3 the Primal Hunter now out on Amazon/Audible! ago
Chapter 489 - Internal Developments ago
Chapter 490 - Beneath the Stars ago
Chapter 491 - Meetings & Leaving the Seat ago
Chapter 492 - Great Wonders & Wondering What To Level ago
Chapter 493 - Not Blackmail ago
Chapter 494 - Learning Styles & Internal Struggle ago
Chapter 495 - Two Geniuses Making Plans: Me & Myself ago
Chapter 496 - A Counter+Intuitive Fighting Style. ago
Chapter 497 - "So, you want to join the Order of the Malefic Viper?" ago
Chapter 498 - Minor Misunderstandings & Dungeon ago
Chapter 499 - Oversharing & One More Beer ago
Chapter 500 - Spontaneous Decisions Are The Best Decisions ago
Chapter 501 - Girl Time & Guy Time ago
Chapter 502 - Mushrooms... So Many Mushrooms. ago
Chapter 503 - Truly Evil Dungeon Design ago
Chapter 504 - Heroes of the Ninth Floor ago
Chapter 505 - Mushroom Massacre & Friend Visit ago
Chapter 506 - United In Hatred ago
Chapter 507 - Reflecting On Stats & Supreme Final Boss ago
Chapter 508 - A Rude Interruption ago
Chapter 509 - (Un)expected Situation ago
Chapter 510 - Reika & the Insurmountable Task Of Trying To Explain Jake ago
Chapter 511 - Friendships & The Question Of Why They Are So Damn Hard. ago

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So, I enjoyed the story for the most part. The tutorial could have done more with the side characters, since I personally felt everything wrapped up too quickly, (the person to person conflicts, not the actual plot itself.) But, after that, to me, the quality nosedived. I don't understand why people like MC's that hole themselves up in basements/lairs/caves/isloated spaces/whatever and then proceed to...not talk to anyone as much as possible. And when they do interact, it's as short and curt as can be done and still be considered a scene of dialogue. 

You cannot write a story with only one character. They have to have meaningful interaction with others, and this story doesn't have it. Even the side characters have become more or less, meaningless, and I still enjoy reading Side Character POV's over the MC's!!!

I've spotted so many interesting plotlines that could have been done, for they were subtly introduced, or perhaps hinted at? Nope, lets spend numerous chapters explaining for the umpteenth time, how he made these potions, how they were different or better this time, and then rinse and repeat. Also, lets jest and kinda sorta insult Gods, but then have the most awkward conversations with mere humans. 

I lost any real hope after the Vampire World Arc where he fought the Water Samurai dude. The fight was too long, and even now, that was still likely the best bit of character interaction the MC has had as of yet, and he spent most of it in a overly long battle, the dialogue interspersed between the bits of fighting. 

He's supposedly about to go to an alchemy school, which should, theoretically, force him to socialize with other potential side characters and have some actual character interaction with actual conversations beyond the pathetic bits he has done so far. But I doubt it. Somehow, I'm sure, the author will manage to make MC hole up in his room or whatever, so he can write another round of multiple chapters of training/crafting/monologuing/jesting-n-insulting gods. 

You know, ANYTHING but adding some characters that do SOMETHING besides chat with MC for a few secs and then become irrelvant so MC can return to his boring-to-read isolation.

Last bit of advice: Exposition is useful, but entire chapters of it are awful. Stop it. If you need an entire chapter to describe one thing, or even half a chapter is still too much, (like scenes of crafting,) than you're doing it horribly. Stop it. Stop it now. 

Either make the chapters longer so you can spend a few thousands words going into excessive detail about nothing of actual importance to the plot, or shorten the exposition. 

Perfect example being, you potion crafting scenes. You do know we don't really need to know all the nitty-gritty details right? Cut those down to even half the current length, and while it would still be too long, I'd accept half as long as a sort of compromise, your story STILL wouldn't really lose anything of value. 

I've probably skimmed 1/3 of this story because after the first half a dozen chapters of the MC going into painstaking detail about his alchemic crafting process, I didn't care to hear anymore of it. I even see the word "alchemy", and I check to make sure no crafting is being done, because if it is, I know this will be the entire chapter, or AT LEAST HALF, which is still unacceptable to me. 


Style: Generic LitRPG, needlessly verbose. Needs far more show and a great deal less tell.

Story: There's something there, but it's buried in the waffling.

Grammer: Easily the best part of the story.

Characters: There are a few vaguely interesting characters, unfortunatley the MC isn't one of them.

Overall: Interesting premise, poor execution. Really, the most irksome thing (aside from the bland cast of characters,) is the skill choice descriptions at level up. It'd be one thing if each time a choice was to be made there was a reason to list out each and every one, you know, such as to show some kind of plot device or character growth from the choices between useful skills... but nope, afraid not, every level up with skills brought with it a list filled with a vast majority of bad choices, an ok choice and WOW! I NEED THIS SKILL! And this happens Every. Single. Time. Worse still, every single skill was explained in microscopic detail even though they'd likely never be used or heard of again, not for a plot devise, or to raise the tension or even to give the character a chance to develop because of hard choices, no, it was just to info-dump for the sake of info-dumping. Truely irksome to read.


i cant figure out exactly what changed but i lost all intrest at chapter 245.  40 chapters on i look at my follow list and all i feel is annoyance that its still there.


up to that damn mushroom dungeon, it was one of my favorite fictions on royal road.  then i couldnt force myself thru a paragraph much less a chapter to hope it got better after the dungeon.


Good novel! Uses the system apocalypse trope well and is unique enough that it doesn't feel like a copy of another novel. The grammar and spelling is good with very few, if any, mistakes. The chapters are long enough to progress the story but they leave you wanting more. Overall this book quickly climbed my favorites list and is in the top 3. Would recommend.



It's a pretty standard iseki litrpg, featuring an interesting system, a xianxia MC, dynamic fight sequences, and gratuitous POV changes.

the system is well thought out and detailed. The fights feel different based on the enemy and skills available, and each major foght feels dynamic, if anticlimactic. The releases are frequent and the story has a lot of chapters already.

on the other hand, the style of the turorial is frustrating detailed and poorly paced. MC gets a ton of plot armor from early on, and is very bland and reads like a typical wuxia 'I want to be free' MC, who did archery as a kid. The POV changes are frustrating and often redundant. in fairness, many of these issues are mitigated later on, though not completely.

if you are new to the genre or just looking for a new read regardless of quality, give it a shot. (I'd skip all of the pics in the tutorial that aren't jake or Jacob). otherwise I'd recommend you pass on this.


On the tutorial:

the tutorial was a letdown character and style wise. The most interesting development came from the traitorous love interest, who never had a POV, and the least interesting from the often featured irrational sociopath, who had far too many.
The way the MC left his coworkers seemed forced and OOC, and the subsequent plot to frame him clumsy and overdone. The alchemy sequence should have had 40% less detail, and the omniscient perspective of the rest of the group limited the dramic tension otherwise available. Overall the tutorial sequence could have been half the length and be better off for it  


Keep on going with your gut author

Reviewed at: Chapter 159 - Under Pressure

By far one of my most favorite stories on here. There's always going to be people that hate the book but I have always believed that the book is primarily a function of the author not the reader. If you like the story then you can write it and anyone else can shut up. I think it's exceptional and can't wait to see jake throw down with the best of them, whether it's a smack down or drawn out brawl! Long live the primal hunter!!


Reviewed as of chapter 159:

At first i thought it was just another Legend of Randily Ghosthound offshoot, but I’m surprised by the depth of this story so far. Things take their time as they should, and there is A LOT of potential plot for the future. things are still at their very beginnings but so far so good, no major stupid troupes or pitfalls and quite a few surprises.

Story is well structured and well written (some mistakes here and there but nothing significant).

Congrats to the author for the story and the publishing schedule we, your readers, know it is not easy to keep such a schedule.


The first arc was great, but the story has been getting repeditive and slow. Most of your fight scenes are the same. We don't need a "show off how OP the MC is fight" every 5 chapters, once every other story arc is more than enough. A more puzzle like approach is better where the MC has retreat then develop/train and plan to beat the oponent, rather than the oh so convient that the enemy happens to be weak to the last thing the MC trained. There is also a lot of fluff turning paragraphs into chapters.

The chapters are edited for grammar and structure well. 

For me the hook in this story is the side charactors pov arcs. 

The MC has enough plot armor we don't really think he will die, but the side charactors have been sent through the ringer and some didn't make it out.

I allways get excited about how each unique side charactor we have gotten invested in will react to meeting the protaganist.

All writing after the first arc and a half is a power fantasy and it reads like one. power fantasy's tend towards terrible plot and this story has been experimenting with that slippery slope.

Viewed as a power fantasy I have trouble with it because the MC is an inconsiderate jerk about half the time. In a power fantasy the point is to make the character relatable enought the reader can imagine they are the character, then you can drop the unearned power junps. Writing a sorry excuse for a human being like Jake does not lend itself to this process, no one wants to think of themself in that sort of way. Writing a character with these sort of flaws can be a good writing choice, but it does not fit the power fantasy. Major flaws should cause major problems that stem directly from the characters choices.

Usualy he is thinking/saying others are terrible/unpleasant/shifty/rude while what he does is worse. Of course every single time the story backs up the MC's judgment by having the suspect do a bad thing. Dosen't excuse the MC at all.

Basicly all the issus that should have been caused have been ignored by introdicing butt-kissers and saying the MC is too strong for anything done by the weaker people to affect him.


Style is not something I care all that much about unless it gets in the way of the story (like metrical structure often does) I think that this story does fine in that reguard.

EDIT on Style, lately there has been an overwhelming amount of filler cuse words added in. Cussing that does not in any way help with describing things. What it does is show the character speaker, or author if it's a discription, is too stupid to think of something descriptive or profound. This also hurts the readers impresion of characters that are supposed to be smart. Like the main character Jake seems to be getting stupider as the story goes on, despite his intellegence stat going up, and other characters proclaiming or thinking Jake is able to better percieve and understand things.

Please do an edit and cut out the filler that has infested everything past arc 1. Quality has gone down and word count up, and don't be afraid to cut out the crap that is on patron as well before it releases here.

Last thought the intro fits the first arc perfectly.


The story shows some early promise, with an enjoyable if not original premise. But the problems begin to appear after the end of the initial scenario. Eventually the itinerant characterization and childishness of the main character grows tiresome. And as an additional kick in the seat, the power comparison of the main character fluctuates as wildly as his personality, with do nothing characters screaming words loudly and gaining enough power to overcome the MC at random. The writing is passable, although the dialogue often undercuts the worldbuilding by making everything seem infantile. I would say to check it out if these are problems that don't bother you, otherwise I'd stay away. I had to drop it despite wanting very much to like it.


It is for the most part entertaining, but some fights really drag on, I find myself skipping sections of a chapter, if not the whole chapter.
The fascinating part of this story is really the interaction between characters, with a pleasant backdrop of world building.
I would, however, personally prefer fewer repetitive fights.

Edit as of chapter 279:
Yeah, this is now a slice of life. It is literally just a description of what happens for the MC every day of his life, whether it is interesting or not.

Like one of the chapters was going shopping... Not buying anything of note, just shopping. Like wtf.

When something happens, it's bloated beyond belief. Yeah, let's spend 10+ chapters killing monkeys in order to get an item which is then a sidenote.

This novel is really annoying, because on one hand it is written really well, the world is interesting, some of the characters have personality, but it is just another adventure turned slice of life.

One could say that it is the kingdom/village building which has taken over, but that isn't even the case. The MC has deliberately taken an offhand approach to that, so there isn't even that.

It is really just a case of stagnation.