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On just another normal Monday, the world changed. The universe had reached a threshold humanity didn’t even know existed, and it was time to finally be integrated into the vast multiverse. A world where power is the only thing that one can truly rely on.
Jake, a seemingly average office worker, finds himself thrust into this new world. Into a tutorial filled with dangers and opportunities. In a world that should breed fear and concern, an environment that makes his fellow coworkers falter, Jake instead finds himself thriving.
Perhaps… Jake was born for this kind of world, to begin with.
5 chapters a week.
Average chapter length: 2500
Tags and content warnings are mainly to give me creative freedom later on. This is my first novel ever, and English isn’t my native language, so go easy on me chaps. Any feedback is more than welcome, of course. Also, this novel is only posted on Royalroad, Patreon, and my Amazon releases, so if you are reading it elsewhere, it's pirated and you suck if you keep reading.
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So, I enjoyed the story for the most part. The tutorial could have done more with the side characters, since I personally felt everything wrapped up too quickly, (the person to person conflicts, not the actual plot itself.) But, after that, to me, the quality nosedived. I don't understand why people like MC's that hole themselves up in basements/lairs/caves/isloated spaces/whatever and then proceed to...not talk to anyone as much as possible. And when they do interact, it's as short and curt as can be done and still be considered a scene of dialogue.
You cannot write a story with only one character. They have to have meaningful interaction with others, and this story doesn't have it. Even the side characters have become more or less, meaningless, and I still enjoy reading Side Character POV's over the MC's!!!
I've spotted so many interesting plotlines that could have been done, for they were subtly introduced, or perhaps hinted at? Nope, lets spend numerous chapters explaining for the umpteenth time, how he made these potions, how they were different or better this time, and then rinse and repeat. Also, lets jest and kinda sorta insult Gods, but then have the most awkward conversations with mere humans.
I lost any real hope after the Vampire World Arc where he fought the Water Samurai dude. The fight was too long, and even now, that was still likely the best bit of character interaction the MC has had as of yet, and he spent most of it in a overly long battle, the dialogue interspersed between the bits of fighting.
He's supposedly about to go to an alchemy school, which should, theoretically, force him to socialize with other potential side characters and have some actual character interaction with actual conversations beyond the pathetic bits he has done so far. But I doubt it. Somehow, I'm sure, the author will manage to make MC hole up in his room or whatever, so he can write another round of multiple chapters of training/crafting/monologuing/jesting-n-insulting gods.
You know, ANYTHING but adding some characters that do SOMETHING besides chat with MC for a few secs and then become irrelvant so MC can return to his boring-to-read isolation.
Last bit of advice: Exposition is useful, but entire chapters of it are awful. Stop it. If you need an entire chapter to describe one thing, or even half a chapter is still too much, (like scenes of crafting,) than you're doing it horribly. Stop it. Stop it now.
Either make the chapters longer so you can spend a few thousands words going into excessive detail about nothing of actual importance to the plot, or shorten the exposition.
Perfect example being, you potion crafting scenes. You do know we don't really need to know all the nitty-gritty details right? Cut those down to even half the current length, and while it would still be too long, I'd accept half as long as a sort of compromise, your story STILL wouldn't really lose anything of value.
I've probably skimmed 1/3 of this story because after the first half a dozen chapters of the MC going into painstaking detail about his alchemic crafting process, I didn't care to hear anymore of it. I even see the word "alchemy", and I check to make sure no crafting is being done, because if it is, I know this will be the entire chapter, or AT LEAST HALF, which is still unacceptable to me.
Style: Generic LitRPG, needlessly verbose. Needs far more show and a great deal less tell.
Story: There's something there, but it's buried in the waffling.
Grammer: Easily the best part of the story.
Characters: There are a few vaguely interesting characters, unfortunatley the MC isn't one of them.
Overall: Interesting premise, poor execution. Really, the most irksome thing (aside from the bland cast of characters,) is the skill choice descriptions at level up. It'd be one thing if each time a choice was to be made there was a reason to list out each and every one, you know, such as to show some kind of plot device or character growth from the choices between useful skills... but nope, afraid not, every level up with skills brought with it a list filled with a vast majority of bad choices, an ok choice and WOW! I NEED THIS SKILL! And this happens Every. Single. Time. Worse still, every single skill was explained in microscopic detail even though they'd likely never be used or heard of again, not for a plot devise, or to raise the tension or even to give the character a chance to develop because of hard choices, no, it was just to info-dump for the sake of info-dumping. Truely irksome to read.
i cant figure out exactly what changed but i lost all intrest at chapter 245. 40 chapters on i look at my follow list and all i feel is annoyance that its still there.
up to that damn mushroom dungeon, it was one of my favorite fictions on royal road. then i couldnt force myself thru a paragraph much less a chapter to hope it got better after the dungeon.
Good novel! Uses the system apocalypse trope well and is unique enough that it doesn't feel like a copy of another novel. The grammar and spelling is good with very few, if any, mistakes. The chapters are long enough to progress the story but they leave you wanting more. Overall this book quickly climbed my favorites list and is in the top 3. Would recommend.
It's a pretty standard iseki litrpg, featuring an interesting system, a xianxia MC, dynamic fight sequences, and gratuitous POV changes.
the system is well thought out and detailed. The fights feel different based on the enemy and skills available, and each major foght feels dynamic, if anticlimactic. The releases are frequent and the story has a lot of chapters already.
on the other hand, the style of the turorial is frustrating detailed and poorly paced. MC gets a ton of plot armor from early on, and is very bland and reads like a typical wuxia 'I want to be free' MC, who did archery as a kid. The POV changes are frustrating and often redundant. in fairness, many of these issues are mitigated later on, though not completely.
if you are new to the genre or just looking for a new read regardless of quality, give it a shot. (I'd skip all of the pics in the tutorial that aren't jake or Jacob). otherwise I'd recommend you pass on this.
On the tutorial:
the tutorial was a letdown character and style wise. The most interesting development came from the traitorous love interest, who never had a POV, and the least interesting from the often featured irrational sociopath, who had far too many.
The way the MC left his coworkers seemed forced and OOC, and the subsequent plot to frame him clumsy and overdone. The alchemy sequence should have had 40% less detail, and the omniscient perspective of the rest of the group limited the dramic tension otherwise available. Overall the tutorial sequence could have been half the length and be better off for it
By far one of my most favorite stories on here. There's always going to be people that hate the book but I have always believed that the book is primarily a function of the author not the reader. If you like the story then you can write it and anyone else can shut up. I think it's exceptional and can't wait to see jake throw down with the best of them, whether it's a smack down or drawn out brawl! Long live the primal hunter!!
Reviewed as of chapter 159:
At first i thought it was just another Legend of Randily Ghosthound offshoot, but I’m surprised by the depth of this story so far. Things take their time as they should, and there is A LOT of potential plot for the future. things are still at their very beginnings but so far so good, no major stupid troupes or pitfalls and quite a few surprises.
Story is well structured and well written (some mistakes here and there but nothing significant).
Congrats to the author for the story and the publishing schedule we, your readers, know it is not easy to keep such a schedule.
The first arc was great, but the story has been getting repeditive and slow. Most of your fight scenes are the same. We don't need a "show off how OP the MC is fight" every 5 chapters, once every other story arc is more than enough. A more puzzle like approach is better where the MC has retreat then develop/train and plan to beat the oponent, rather than the oh so convient that the enemy happens to be weak to the last thing the MC trained. There is also a lot of fluff turning paragraphs into chapters.
The chapters are edited for grammar and structure well.
For me the hook in this story is the side charactors pov arcs.
The MC has enough plot armor we don't really think he will die, but the side charactors have been sent through the ringer and some didn't make it out.
I allways get excited about how each unique side charactor we have gotten invested in will react to meeting the protaganist.
All writing after the first arc and a half is a power fantasy and it reads like one. power fantasy's tend towards terrible plot and this story has been experimenting with that slippery slope.
Viewed as a power fantasy I have trouble with it because the MC is an inconsiderate jerk about half the time. In a power fantasy the point is to make the character relatable enought the reader can imagine they are the character, then you can drop the unearned power junps. Writing a sorry excuse for a human being like Jake does not lend itself to this process, no one wants to think of themself in that sort of way. Writing a character with these sort of flaws can be a good writing choice, but it does not fit the power fantasy. Major flaws should cause major problems that stem directly from the characters choices.
Usualy he is thinking/saying others are terrible/unpleasant/shifty/rude while what he does is worse. Of course every single time the story backs up the MC's judgment by having the suspect do a bad thing. Dosen't excuse the MC at all.
Basicly all the issus that should have been caused have been ignored by introdicing butt-kissers and saying the MC is too strong for anything done by the weaker people to affect him.
Style is not something I care all that much about unless it gets in the way of the story (like metrical structure often does) I think that this story does fine in that reguard.
EDIT on Style, lately there has been an overwhelming amount of filler cuse words added in. Cussing that does not in any way help with describing things. What it does is show the character speaker, or author if it's a discription, is too stupid to think of something descriptive or profound. This also hurts the readers impresion of characters that are supposed to be smart. Like the main character Jake seems to be getting stupider as the story goes on, despite his intellegence stat going up, and other characters proclaiming or thinking Jake is able to better percieve and understand things.
Please do an edit and cut out the filler that has infested everything past arc 1. Quality has gone down and word count up, and don't be afraid to cut out the crap that is on patron as well before it releases here.
Last thought the intro fits the first arc perfectly.
The story shows some early promise, with an enjoyable if not original premise. But the problems begin to appear after the end of the initial scenario. Eventually the itinerant characterization and childishness of the main character grows tiresome. And as an additional kick in the seat, the power comparison of the main character fluctuates as wildly as his personality, with do nothing characters screaming words loudly and gaining enough power to overcome the MC at random. The writing is passable, although the dialogue often undercuts the worldbuilding by making everything seem infantile. I would say to check it out if these are problems that don't bother you, otherwise I'd stay away. I had to drop it despite wanting very much to like it.
It is for the most part entertaining, but some fights really drag on, I find myself skipping sections of a chapter, if not the whole chapter.
The fascinating part of this story is really the interaction between characters, with a pleasant backdrop of world building.
I would, however, personally prefer fewer repetitive fights.
Edit as of chapter 279:
Yeah, this is now a slice of life. It is literally just a description of what happens for the MC every day of his life, whether it is interesting or not.
Like one of the chapters was going shopping... Not buying anything of note, just shopping. Like wtf.
When something happens, it's bloated beyond belief. Yeah, let's spend 10+ chapters killing monkeys in order to get an item which is then a sidenote.
This novel is really annoying, because on one hand it is written really well, the world is interesting, some of the characters have personality, but it is just another adventure turned slice of life.
One could say that it is the kingdom/village building which has taken over, but that isn't even the case. The MC has deliberately taken an offhand approach to that, so there isn't even that.
It is really just a case of stagnation.