The Primal Hunter
- Traumatising content
On just another normal Monday, the world changed. The universe had reached a threshold humanity didn’t even know existed, and it was time to finally be integrated into the vast multiverse. A world where power is the only thing that one can truly rely on.
Jake, a seemingly average office worker, finds himself thrust into this new world. Into a tutorial filled with dangers and opportunities. In a world that should breed fear and concern, an environment that makes his fellow coworkers falter, Jake instead finds himself thriving.
Perhaps… Jake was born for this kind of world, to begin with.
5 chapters a week here to begin with. Will decrease as my backlog starts to run out.
Average chapter length: 2500 or so. I have a backlog of quite a few chapters to go through, but I will post faster than I can write in the beginning as I have a fulltime job.
Tags and content warnings are mainly to give me creative freedom later on. This is my first novel ever, and English isn’t my native language, so go easy on me chaps. Any feedback is more than welcome, of course.
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First of all, and one of the main reasons I love this novel: the "classes" the MC has. I read like dozens of novels and none had this particular combo, which paired with quite an interesting and somewhat balanced system makes it worth a read alone.
As regarding to the plot as it is I like it, I fear what awaits when the world will be explained further but I believe in the Author's skills.
But dude you have to chill, I know it is frustrating when people shit on a product you invested hours in, especially when you know there are hundreds of novels that are barely readable that don't get half of the shit you are getting. But you have to ignore all those readers whining.
Who cares, and at this point you should have already noticed no matter what some will whine anyways.
I genuinely like your story, wish you luck and hope you will keep it up without getting too influenced by bad reviews.
The Primal Hunter falls in the popular category of system stories, that means it introduces a fantasy game-like system to the current earth. It does so in very typical fashion, so it's a good entry into the subgenre.
Grammar and spelling are very good, while the style tends to be on the simpler side, which makes it a good story to read when you need something relaxing. This is aided by long explanations of simple things and regular repititions. Even after being exhausted after a long day of work the reader probably still won't miss any important plot point. Also the story is very easy to follow and the characters aren't very complex.
Therein lies the biggest problem of the story, its characters. They all have three things in common, they're rather one-dimensional, unlikeable and pretty dumb. Although the author tries to show the protagonist in a better light, it becomes soon clear, that he is a sociopath, and a foolish one at that. The only reason he triumphs over his equally unintelligent brethren is literally dumb luck. The novel should have been over after the first few times his irrational behaviour got him into dangerous situation, but for the sake of story advancement he gets a favourable outcome due to something I like to call "plot luck".
Quite frankly I usually wouldn't have written a review for such a forgettable story, but it put the latter expression into my head and I giggled for about a quarter of an hour. Go on, say it out loud, say "plot luck" without smiling, I dare you!
Characters must have had chunks of their brains removed when the tutorial started. If you don't want to think about what you are reading this is great but otherwise, it's just mediocre. The system set up and the beginning were well done but the author doesn't know how to write smart characters as every group interaction makes no sense.
The factions leaders hedge retarded high-risk bets that are decided on the whim of the author. Sometimes characters get punished for having no brain activity and others just have nothing happen to them.
The killing of the enemy faction leader after chapter 50 makes no sense and completely brought me out of the story.
The characters are hit or miss with some being well developed and with clear motivations like Jacob or just pulled from another murder hobo novel like the main character. I want to like the main character but he has no personality and just bumbles his way to gaining strength. He also isn't consistent with him either being aggressive and kill hungry to being a blank slate.
No major grammatical issues and I think the story is better than the sum of its parts but the author needs to seriously define the MC and think through the events he plans to happen throughout the chapters.
It's... Not bad, but it's nothing special. Just another System story with a fresh coat of paint, if you haven't read many of them you could probably enjoy it. But to me- who's read quite a few of them, it's dull and monotonous. Maybe I'll give it another go sometime, when I'm craving some junk food or another system. This is an above average system, even if some of the dilougue makes me cringe (I'm assuming most of that is on purpose), and there's not anything special about it, it does system and blood thirsty protagonist better then most other novels.
Written upon reading: Ch 16
This story is a different take on the usual "System comes and knocks everything over" trope. The system itself is interesting in how it combines Class, Profession, and Race levels.
Grammar is good with little to no flaws that I can see.
The story itself has not yet gotten past the Tutorial by the time I'm writing this. There's a lot of potential in the story depending on how the author decides how the coming of the system affects Earth.
To begin with, I do like the story and the world the author introduces. The class system seems interesting and the MC is a character I like.
That said I will not continue reading this story, even though I enjoyed my time with it for the most part (well, until I decided enough is enough)
If you enjoy very detailed descriptions of actions performed in combat scenes and of reasoning behind choices made, then by all means give this story a try.
Though if those points raise some concerns do continue reading this review, where I'll point out what I disliked about this story.
An often noted issue people have with this story is the heavy focus on characters that are not very likeable and even though I agree, this is NOT the reason for why I have to drop this.
It is the very detailed description of every little thing the MC does, his reasoning for his choices, his actions in combat, just everything is detailed out at every given point in time.
Every now and then, especially for important choices or strong enemies I appreciate a detailed description of what is going on, but reading every combat encounter in detail gets tedious and I do not see the point of giving a long reasoning for all his skill choices every time they occur.
A few important skills, difficult choices between two or similar skills, sure that's welcome, but not ALL and for sure not every time.
Not only is it tedious reading everything happening with the MC in such detail it also reduces the pacing of the story to a snails crawl whenever the chapter has the focus on the MC.
As such, I actually welcomed the chapters focusing on sidecharacters because it usually means that there will be some progression at the point we switch back to the MC.
I would have liked if instead the pacing was faster and thus we would be further in the story, or focus more on the psychological side of what is happening to the people in the tutorial and how they come to the drastic decisions they make just days in the tutorial.
I mean, they kill each other just DAYS in the tutorial GUESSING that the tutorial gives better rewards for fewer survivors (it's only stated that it is based on the amount of survivors).
Instead this is sadly brushed aside and we only get insight into one particularly unlikeable character (we all know who I am referring to).
Now, the focus on the psychological side is only a suggestion for what could have been done with the freed up space form increasing the pacing on MC's chapters and would have required the author to do further research regarding this, so it only stands as a suggestion and not as critique.
Title says it all. As of chapter 41 this litrpg murderhobo story takes place in a "tutorial".
As far as litrpg's go its nothing special. Nothing new brought to the table or done particularly well. Its not bad, just bland grinding.
Its tutorial has a "survival" setting, and the story suffers for it. Within 24 hours people are murdering people for some vague tutorial points that literally haven't served any purpose. Part of me thinks they were forgotten about. Like most litrpg's the actual concerns of survival are ignored. You only need to kill beasties, cuz apparently that's the most dangerous thing mother nature can throw at ya. Beasties that aren't active at night. Beasties that have no survival instinct, that only mindlessly charge.
Decent release rate, but if you're looking for compelling characters, an intriguing story, a new take on litrpg's, keep looking. This ain't it. But hey, you can kill time with it on the shitter
Binge read this in one night up to chapter 34.
Some of the world building and major ideas for the plots are really interesting. The writing is mostly good, frequent errors but the grammar is very competent for the most part. There are way, way too many walls-of-text devoted to character thought processes about guilt, social anxiety and angsty feelings. The "Show, don't tell," rule applies to emotions too, not just objects.
I enjoyed the first half immensely. It is an exciting original story, a little edgy and grimdark. Then the story lost originality in the second part and started becoming a tropey xianxia tale.
The MC stopped hunting to become a poison-alchemist with bloated stats and more than four times the number of levels in alchemy than in his hunter class. I do not see how the title "The Primal Hunter" is even relevant to the story at that point.
I do not know where the author is going with this story and I am not sure the author does either. At the beginning of the story the MC supposedly loves to fight, he couldn't get enough of it. He liked fighting so much that he left his friends so he could solo hunt monsters without restraint. Now? He is content to sit around and make potions for a month. I found the change in motivation and characterization hard to believe.
The author also seems to be falling into the trap of making game mechanics more and more complex, and bloating stat numbers to increase the 'Wow!' factor and hold reader interest.
I will keep reading but each chapter has been less and less exciting to me. I hope the author manages to turn this story around.
This is a very early review but I have noticed important "problems" that should be pointed out to potential new readers
I'm not going to talk about the rpg system, other reviews pointed out it is done well so if you only care about it give this novel a try. I'm going to focus instead on the verisimilitude of the story because I'm a reader that wants to read something "relateble", when I think "how would I have reacted in his shoes?" I don't want my reply to be "what is happening makes no sense" because it ruins my immersion. Well, this novel starts very very poorly in that regard.
I will comment on the first 3 chapters with heavy spoilers:
The protagonist, I will refer to him as MC form now on, is around 30 years old and has a very decent life with caring parents, some friends, no gf, nice job, many hobbies such as archery and to go to the gym. While he is on an elevator with many other coworkers, a voice in his head announces that Earth has reached the required level to be introduced in the multiverse and is then teleported inside a small, white room, with just a table and a chair at the center.. ah yes seated on the chair there is also what he describes as a synthetic alien.
This alien tells him that he now is part of the multiverse, that he can access his stats, should pick up a class and equip his new equipment because in 10 minutes the real tutorial is going to start.. now if somebody gives me a weapon to ready myself for whatever is going to happen, my guess would be that I'll need to use that weapon to kill something or somebody.. not the most conforting thought I would say. But that's not all, think about what a random human being would feel if he suddenly had to face an alien, voices in his head, the idea that his previous life is going to be discarded to now hunt "things", that his loved ones are on the same situation.. all of this and much more suddenly thrown at your face.. I think I would
a) have an heart attack and die
b) panic and crawl the further away possible from the alien. If I would ever come out sane from this stasis, supposing the alien leaves me be, it should take me hours to just be able to calm myself to the point that I can start to consider looking at these "stats" and "classes", 10 minute of time limit is ABSURD.
But lets move on, the MC is like "this is probably a lucid dream" and proceeds to complete his task without batting an eye. He is then teleported to the forest where this tutorial is supposed to take place and placed on top of a huge pillar. Soon, many others that were previously on the same elevator appear next to him, at this point I was expecting most of them to
a) be complitely insane or on the verge of it
b) have failed to pick up a class or, at least, to have made a totally random choice because, lets be honest, most persons don't even know what "rpg" means, forget about the concept of classes, stats and skills..
c) throw some kind of tantrum to whoever they want to, be it the system, God, others on the pillar.. pretending or begging to let them free from this nightmare or at least to see their children, parents, etc...
but no, they IMMEDIATELY start to talk about their classess, skills, stats etc.. I could have accepted if the MC was a sociopath ready to accept this whole situation without panicking too much, but this? ALL of them? Not in a million years
Lets move on! The pillar starts to descend and they are told by the System that their mission is to survive for several days and to acquire points by killing monsters or other persons (there were many other pillars in the forest, meaning others were taking part at the same instance of the tutorial). This should have been the nail in the coffing for any kind of sanity and civilty in their group.. as you can imagine none of that happens, they immediatly set out to find food, shelter etc..
I don't think anybody would argue with me on the fact that this situation doesn't make any kind of sense, I guess the author just wrote down the first thing that came to his mind which could "work" as a setup to start the tutorial.
Maybe I am the problem here, but I can't immerse myself in a story where the premisis are so bad. This setup would have been acceptable if it was a VR game but not reality
What can I say I really liked this story. The system is very familiar but got its own twist to make it interesting, but it won't redefine the genre or anything.
The story is also good, though it has its ups and downs. The main character isn't super involved, but more off doing his own thing. I do really like it though, and I look forward to where it goes. There is also hints and a lot of nice world building.
For style then it is rather simple, with perhaps a bit too many Pov chapters. I like most of them, but not all. I do think they make the story overall better though.
Grammar is good, but I am no expert. It didn't annoy me so that is 5 stars in my book.
Characters are a bit of a mixed bag outside og the main character, but that is what I have come to expect. As for the main character, I like him a lot and he is definitely not a mary sue. In fact, it feels like side characters have more plot armor than him. Some of them also make some pretty silly decisions.
Overall I can heartily recommend it for anyone who likes litrpgs. We are still very early in the story, and in my opinion it is only looking up from here.