The Primal Hunter

The Primal Hunter

by Zogarth

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

On just another normal Monday, the world changed. The universe had reached a threshold humanity didn’t even know existed, and it was time to finally be integrated into the vast multiverse. A world where power is the only thing that one can truly rely on.

Jake, a seemingly average office worker, finds himself thrust into this new world. Into a tutorial filled with dangers and opportunities. In a world that should breed fear and concern, an environment that makes his fellow coworkers falter, Jake instead finds himself thriving.

Perhaps… Jake was born for this kind of world, to begin with.

 

Release Schedule:

5 chapters a week.

Average chapter length: 2500

Tags and content warnings are mainly to give me creative freedom later on. This is my first novel ever, and English isn’t my native language, so go easy on me chaps. Any feedback is more than welcome, of course.

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Zogarth

Zogarth

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1 - Another Monday morning ago
Chapter 2 - Introduction ago
Chapter 3 - The tutorial commences ago
Chapter 4 - First battle ago
Chapter 5 - Big pig ago
Chapter 6 - Questioning ago
Chapter 7 - Training & rest ago
Chapter 8 - A wonderful night ago
Chapter 9 - Blood ago
Chapter 10 - Reflection & frustration ago
Chapter 11 - Friend or foe? ago
Chapter 12 - A splitting provocation ago
Chapter 13 - Nicholas (part 1) ago
Chapter 14 - Nicholas (part 2) ago
Chapter 15 - Diverging paths ago
Chapter 16 - A bit of hunting ago
Chapter 17 - Loot ago
Chapter 18 - Finding a challenge ago
Chapter 19 - Everybody Loves Blue Mushrooms ago
Chapter 20 - Death & courage ago
Chapter 21 - An impactful choice ago
Chapter 22 - Alchemy! ago
Chapter 23 - Progression ago
Chapter 24 - Palate of the Malefic Viper ago
Chapter 25 - Enjoying life ago
Chapter 26 - More skills! ago
Chapter 27 - Evolution ago
Chapter 28 - Base building ago
Chapter 29 - It's just logical ago
Chapter 30 - Preparations for evolution ago
Chapter 31 - Professional evolution ago
Chapter 32 - A very weird encounter ago
Chapter 33 - True Blessing of the Malefic Viper ago
Chapter 34 - Manipulation ago
Chapter 35 - Blood of the Malefic Viper ago
Chapter 36 - A battle of life & death ago
Chapter 37 - Leave nothing behind ago
Chapter 38 - Broken ago
Chapter 39 - Powershot ago
Chapter 40 - Defect & Meeting ago
Chapter 41 - Clash ago
Chapter 42 - Twin Fang Style ago
Chapter 43 - Big Pig II: Steeltusk Edition ago
Chapter 44 - "Partners" ago
Chapter 45 - Shadow Vault & Instincts ago
Chapter 46 - Unexpected Encounter (1/3) ago
Chapter 47 - Unexpected Encounter (2/3) ago
Chapter 48 - Unexpected Encounter (3/3) ago
Chapter 49 - Enemy of the people ago
Chapter 50 - Friendship ago
Chapter 51 - Meeting old friends (1/2) ago
Chapter 52 - Meeting old friends (2/2) ago
Chapter 53 - Goals ago
Chapter 54 - Class Evolution ago
Chapter 55 - Ambitious Hunter ago
Chapter 56 - Metal Savant ago
Chapter 57 - Metal & Nature ago
Chapter 58 - Herrmann Schmidt ago
Chapter 59 - Stamina ago
Chapter 60 - Idiots ago
Chapter 61 - A bitter end ago
Chapter 62 - Loot 2.0 ago
Chapter 63 - Arrows ago
Chapter 64 - Badger's Den ago
Chapter 65 - Chilling with badgers ago
Chapter 66 - The Notorious B.I.G Badger ago
Chapter 67 - Infused Powershot ago
Chapter 68 - Dungeon = Alchemy ago
Chapter 69 - Augur of Hope ago
Chapter 70 - Excelling ago
Chapter 71 - Dream ago
Chapter 72 - Den Mother ago
Chapter 73 - First quest & Venomfang ago
Chapter 74 - Practice & Ash ago
Chapter 75 - Scales of the Malefic Viper ago
Chapter 76 - Lucenti Plains ago
Chapter 77 - Pondering on ponds ago
Chapter 78 - Introspection ago
Chapter 79 - Moment of Curiosity ago
Chapter 80 - Cleaning up the plains ago
Chapter 81 - The Great White Stag ago
Chapter 82 - No rest for the wicked ago
Chapter 83 - Loot & Healing ago
Chapter 84 - True Protagonist ago
Chapter 85 - Into the dark ago
Chapter 86 - The right way ago
Chapter 87 - Dark Mana & Dark Tunnels ago
Chapter 88 - Many Rats! Handle it! ago
Chapter 89 - Dark Attunement ago
Chapter 90 - Nest Watcher ago
Chapter 91 - A final gift ago
Chapter 92 - Willful Ignorance ago
Chapter 93 - The Balance Broken ago
Chapter 94 - Beers & Exposition ago
Chapter 95 - Of Fate & Destiny ago
Chapter 96 - William & Jake ago
Chapter 97 - Spring cleaning = Loot 3.0 ago
Chapter 98 -Valley of Tusks ago
Chapter 99 - Going with the flow ago
Chapter 100 - The right way forward ago
Chapter 101 - Mana 101 ago
Chapter 102 - A thoughtful touch ago
Chapter 103 - Pigs for slaughter ago
Chapter 104 - Limit Break ago
Chapter 105 - Falling rocks ago
Chapter 106 - Horde Leader ago
Chapter 107 - Next target: King of the Forest ago
Chapter 108 - King ago
Chapter 109 - Eclipse ago
Chapter 110 - Fall ago
Chapter 111 - When the curtains fall... ago
Chapter 112 - Tutorial Rewards: Titles & Math ago
Chapter 113 - Tutorial Rewards: Narrowing down options ago
Chapter 114 - Tutorial Rewards: Getting stuff ago
Chapter 115 - Records ago
Chapter 116 - A Godlike Getaway ago
Chapter 117 - Danger Bath ago
Chapter 118 - Second part? ago
Chapter 119 - Embracing power ago
Chapter 120 - Defiance & Gains ago
Chapter 121 - You know, I'm something of a sage myself ago
Chapter 122 - Homecoming ago
Intermission 1 - Carmen ago
Intermission 2 - Noboru Miyamoto ago
Intermission 3 - Eron ago
Chapter 123 - The Blue Marble ago
Chapter 124 - One Step Mile ago
Chapter 125 - Pylon of Civilization ago
Chapter 126 - The Times They Are A-Changin' ago
Chapter 127 - Monsters ago
Intermission 4 - Matteo (1/2) ago
Intermission 4 - Matteo (2/2) ago
Chapter 128 - Living with the consequences ago
Chapter 129 - Points of view ago
Chapter 130 - Going down ago
Chapter - 131 - Two kinds of people ago
Chapter 132 - Big Blue Mushroom ago
Chapter 133 - Delegating (avoiding) responsibilities ago
Chapter 134 - Construction plans ago
Chapter 135 - First World Problems ago
Chapter 136 - How To Train Your Dragon Wings ago
Chapter 137 - I Believe I Can Fly ago
Chapter 138 - Viewing Party ago
Chapter 139 - Going Up ago
Chapter 140 - A Cloudy Forecast ago
Chapter 141 - Mana Bolt ago
Chapter 142 - Look at Me, I'm the Mage Now! ago
Chapter 143 - City Lord ago
Chapter 144 - Not Again ago
Chapter 145 - Visitors ago
Chapter 146 - Familial Conflict ago
Chapter 147 - Unbalanced ago
Chapter 148 - Incoming ago
Chapter 149 - Anger ago
Chapter 150 - Barely a Fight ago
Chapter 151 - A Bit of Self-Reflection ago
Chapter 152 - Killing Monsters = Loot 4.0 ago
Chapter 153 - An Agreement With the Incompetents(?) ago
Chapter 154 - Clouds & Brimstone ago
Chapter 155 - One-sided ago
Chapter 156 - Skills & Pylons ago
Chapter 157 - Arrow of the Ambitious Hunter ago
Chapter 158 - Why? ago
Chapter 159 - Under Pressure ago
Chapter 160 - Can I? ago
Chapter 161 - Towards the Horizon ago
Chapter 162 - Pecking Order ago
Intermission 5 - Meira ago
Chapter 163 - Helping Friends ago
Chapter 164 - Rituals ago
Chapter 165 - Taking Charge ago
Chapter 166 - Jake & Mystie Airlines ago
Chapter 167 - One-sided negotiation ago
Chapter 168 - Phillip ago
Chapter 169 - The Fort ago
Chapter 170 - The Battle of Fort's Deep ago
Chapter 171 - Perhaps Too Easy ago
Chapter 172 - A Monster To Hunt ago
Chapter 173 - Mental Magic ago
Chapter 174 - Minotaur Mindchief ago
Chapter 175 - A Journey of the Mind ago
Chapter 176 - From the Myst They Came... ago
Chapter 177 - To Pursue Perfection ago
Chapter 178 - Names ago
Chapter 179 - Baby Hawk ago
Chapter 180 - Fists of Fury ago
Chapter 181 - Methods of Improvement ago
Chapter 182 - Just Getting a Few Samples ago
Chapter 183 - Important Jobs ago
Chapter 184 - Divine Influence ago
Chapter 185 - Progress For Everyone! ago
Chapter 186 - One Step Closer ago
Chapter 187 - Sylphian ago
Chapter 188 - A Plan Brought to Fruition ago
Chapter 189 - Press F for Fungus ago
Chapter 190 - Sensing the Arcane ago
Chapter 191 - Cloudy with A Chance of Powershots ago
Chapter 192 - Hierarchy & Doubt ago
Chapter 193 - A Cursed Touch ago
Chapter 194 - Grades & Impatience ago
Chapter 195 - D-grade ago
Chapter 196 - Expanding in Scope ago
Chapter 197 - Keep Things Simple ago
Chapter 198 - D-grade Class Selection ago
Chapter 199 - Avaricious Arcane Hunter ago
Chapter 200 - A Sculptor of Haven ago
Chapter 201 - A Brave New World ago
Chapter 202 - An Even More Professional Evolution ago
Chapter 203 - A Heretical Chosen ago
Chapter 204 - The Wyvern of the Desolates ago
Chapter 205 - An Improved Palate ago
Chapter 206 - A Real Shitfest ago
Chapter 207 - Enhanced Splitting Arrow ago
Chapter 208 - Dervish ago
Chapter 209 - Worthy Opponents ago
Chapter 210 - Rules of Monkey Hunting ago
Chapter 211 - Matriarchs ago
Chapter 212 - City/Monkey Management ago
Chapter 213 - Monkey Business ago
Chapter 214 - Enjoyment ago
Chapter 215 - Fragmented ago
Chapter 216 - The Calm Before the Politics ago
Chapter 217 - The World Congress Begins ago
Chapter 218 - World Congress: Friendly Talks ago
Chapter 219 - World Congress: Reunion ago
Chapter 220 - World Congress: A Quick Vote ago
Chapter 221 - World Congress: "Confrontations" ago
Chapter 222 - World Congress: On The Flip Of A Coin ago
Chapter 223 - World Congress: System Events ago
Chapter 224 - World Congress: Challenge ago
Chapter 225 - World Congress: Master Negotiator ago
Chapter 226 - World Congress: Final Talks ago
Chapter 227 - Shopping Spree ago
Chapter 228 - A Question of Morality ago
Intermission 6 - William (1/3) ago
Intermission 6 - William (2/3) ago
Intermission 6 - William (3/3) ago
Chapter 229 - A Healthy Diet ago
Chapter 230 - This Chapter Contains Alchemy ago
Chapter 231 - Man Cave(s) ago
Chapter 232 - Nanoblade ago
Chapter 233 - Evil Incarnate ago
Chapter 234 - Questionable Choices ago
Chapter 235 - Golden Mushroom ago
Chapter 236 - Deepdwellers vs Cave Troll (feat. Jake) ago
Chapter 237 - The Paragon Option ago
Chapter 238 - A Distraction ago
Chapter 239 - Justice From Above ago
Chapter 240 - To Upgrade Or Not To Upgrade, That Is The Question. ago
Chapter 241 - The Morality of Domination ago
Chapter 242 - Righteous Crusade ago
Chapter 243 - Schemes Of An Old Man ago
Chapter 244 - Heartwarden ago
Chapter 245 - Assessment ago
Chapter 246 - Census Taking (Hard Mode) ago
Chapter 247 - Gravity Is Your Friend ago
Chapter 248 - Minor Miscalculations ago
Chapter 249 - Priorities ago
Chapter 250 - Altmar Signet ago
Chapter 251 - Stats, Tables & Gear - all the LitRPG! ago
Chapter 252 - Something Long Overdue ago
Chapter 253 - Leatherworkers ago
Chapter 254 - Personal Improvement ago
Chapter 255 - Temple & Blessings ago
Chapter 256 - Servant & Territory ago
Chapter 257 - Will of the Chosen ago
Chapter 258 - Jake the Corpse Merchant ago
Chapter 259 - Taking Advantage of Mistakes ago
Chapter 260 - Keeping It Friendly ago
Chapter 261 - Introspection & Self-Control ago
Chapter 262 - Sultan ago
Chapter 263 - "I don't like you." - Jake Thayne, Year 1, 93rd Era. ago
Chapter 264 - Executive Decision ago
Chapter 265 - Concessions Today, Profits in the Future ago
Chapter 266 - Sultan Has Wares, If You Have Coin ago

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Chr Gor
Overall

This is a really great read, and I recommend you check it out.

There is a proper flow to the story, the characters have proper growth and dont do random shit, Its interesting, has proper grammar and structure, all in all just a great read.

While the main character does have an op advantage, its not the be all end all kind of thing. There is still tension, he could still die, it isn't like he can suddenly just do anything and solve anything. This story does it right.

LostAncilla
Overall

The rough arc I've read through so far entails the protagonist starting the battle royale of a tutorial, learning he has a strong individualist streak, refining his abilities and progressing through a trial to meet a certain someone at the end.

I can feel there is some consistency in the setting being sketched out. However, the setting lacks a great deal of depth which leaves makes engaging with the main character a bit if a trial.

For starters, Survival per se isn't much of a concern. No sicknesses, infections, hydration issues or similar ever actually make themselves known. People are certainly scared but not palpably tired,  emotionally drained, fragile or otherwise overtly inconvenienced by the setting itself. The exclusive threat is by express violence delivered by some variety of monster - the human variety included.

The character writing is most accurately represented in the dialogue - there are no discernable characterizing traits at all. No verbal ticks that contribute to emotivity. No change in how contractions are (inconsistently) applied.

I can't much agree with how the rising action of leveling was arrested with a Challenge that shifted the combat focus to an academic one, either. Moreover, I take issue with it being far more rewarding than actually taking the survival challenge head on as the protagonist originally set out to do. The updates from all the side characters while the protagonist was off being spoon-fed power were far more intesting.

I did appreciate the portrayal of how the others are advancing during the tutorial on contrast with the protagonist's path. I just wish they actually had discernable characters

SeekTrueTruth
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Loner goes into the mountains to train

Reviewed at: Chapter 178 - Names

I forced myself to read this as someone recommended it. The main problem are the characters. They lack depth.

The main character is supposed to be a working adult but can't maintain a proper conversation with others. That's going to be very rare in real life. I've met a few people during my time but it's just not a common thing. Also, you are told that certain characters are great leaders, they're outgoing, etc. but they don't show those characteristics. A girl is beautiful because the author says she is. However the descriptions and her behavior doesn't convey it.

The aliens are not alien at all. Instead they behave just like human beings. A character who is supposed to be one of the most powerful and long-lived in the multiverse acts like the MC's close childhood friend. No sophistication at all.

I could care less about the leveling system. It's really dumb. The main gimmick is that the MC has a bloodline that makes him superior and that falls outside of the System. Then the author introduces 5 skills every few level ups and the author goes at length to explain why 4 out of those 5 skills suck. Repeat this ad nauseum.

Also, archery. Yes, I think using archery is a mistake. It's not even interesting archery. It's the stupid type that you see in most RPGs. Skills like power shot, split shot, etc. There has to be a way to make it more enjoyable. I groaned when I saw the author choose that class. 

At the end of the Tutorial arc, you realize there was almost no character growth. Instead the MC is doing his own thing levelling up. What happens while he is doing dungeons? Exactly. Waste of charcters and the whole arc. Why would you do this to your characters that you have invested such little time in growing? Oh, maybe this makes a lot of sense. May as well have skipped the tutorial and pretend the novel begins afterwards. 

Finally you have the MC learning magic and everything without the aid of the System. He also obtains beast allies and pets. They will guard his settlers while he is off training in the mountains again. Ah, I see, they are like turrets in Fallout 4. I understand now. They can act as mounts too and even teach the travel skill. What a bargain. 

It's readable, but I ended up skimming through most of the self-training parts. It's not interesting enough to read as you realize it's the same litRPG recycled garbage. It's the characters and the decisions the authors makes that are bad in this story. If the MC was a bit more mature and interacted with others it could have been interesting. If you like a loner going into the mountains to train then you may love this story. I don't hate it but neither do I particularly like it. The writing is readable, as I said. 

My recommendation is to pass this story and spend your valuable time elsewhere. 

Alibi
Overall

This story is a different take on the usual "System comes and knocks everything over" trope. The system itself is interesting in how it combines Class, Profession, and Race levels. 

Grammar is good with little to no flaws that I can see.

The story itself has not yet gotten past the Tutorial by the time I'm writing this. There's a lot of potential in the story depending on how the author decides how the coming of the system affects Earth.

tockblue
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Promising but characters hold it back

Reviewed at: Chapter 25 - Enjoying life

Reviewed at Ch 25. Some core stuff worth reading here, but the social and character dynamics are holding it back to feeling like another by-the-numbers power growth fantasy with too little character work.

A main character issue is the protag/antagonists themselves.  Not sure I'm a fan of William on a meta level. Doesn't seem to add much, even if intended to just make the MC seem less antisocial/edgy by contrast, provide a cleaner bad guy opposite to MC than Richard. TBH, makes me want to see more from others like Jacob or Shield Guy Who Is Good #1. Give me someone to root for with agency and motivations.

Openly but irrationally sociopathic William (no reason to kill the trio, more to gain from connecting them to Richard's group and 'letting then grow') vs MC being neurotically, selfishly, myopically asocial vs Richard as social-but-Bad... the contrast is being set up but somehow they all scan as overly similar or at least equally hard to root for, with only Richard at least showing rational forethought (if scummily/clumsily). The MC isn't actively scummy to others, but neglecting/ignoring others isn't a big enough contrast to "sleazy but so far it's working to keep others safe and alive" to mark one as protag and one as antag.

Three levels of social dependency (Richard>William>MC) and social maladaption  doesn't make for interesting commentary YET. William sucks, but he understands others can be useful. The MC is one moment of NOT having plot armor away from disaster with no acknowledgement of it. 

No challenge has been presented that requires teaming for MC, but becoming an alchemist that can make potions or poisons for others is a synergy that'd be awesome to see explored. "Ooh, interesting, poisons are risky to experiment with and could require healing support or gatherers to help- oh, Got Skills For That, nvm, carry on."

Things so far are just a bit too tidy. MC rolls Archer class which has limitations, shows benefit of teaming with a good front liner and healer, gets enough vitality to not need anyone. K. Dungeon Challenges are a thing, but requirements are perfectly aligned to (so far) solely the MC. K. 1 dimensional awful destructive selfish nihilist DarGonz exists and MC is on the same path of strength for its own sake? K. Jacob says MC is his friend, K, but how shown in either direction? 

Cool to see SOME agency, challenge (nameless workers trying to unlock profession at camp) and/or collaboration (early fights with Jacob group), but the three main driving characters are coming across pretty shallow or frustrating. MC: "oh I can make mana potions! yay stat points from discovery!" not " wonder if the healers (including that token love interest girl I forgot about) would need these/I could barter to have them help me search for other materials or items from chests." 

Lotta good stuff here but the social and character dynamics so far are making it rougher going for me as a reader. 

gladiusmaximus
Overall

Reviewed as of chapter 159:

At first i thought it was just another Legend of Randily Ghosthound offshoot, but I’m surprised by the depth of this story so far. Things take their time as they should, and there is A LOT of potential plot for the future. things are still at their very beginnings but so far so good, no major stupid troupes or pitfalls and quite a few surprises.

Story is well structured and well written (some mistakes here and there but nothing significant).

Congrats to the author for the story and the publishing schedule we, your readers, know it is not easy to keep such a schedule.

Para
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Mainly I started reading because I like archery. Combined with poison and stealth, this is interesting to me and a bit different than many stories. I like the overall story and the author has clearly thought about the world/multiverse a lot. Good stuff, if not exactly unique.

The characters are good as well, if not great. I like that some aren't likeable and clearly have different views. A bit over the top with the metal mage, it was almost comic relief...

Grammar can be improved but is generally ok.

Now about the style... I am sorry, but this one was multiple times almost a reason for me to stop reading and I certainly skipped a few parts. The sentences themselves are ok (improved over time) but the story could be reduced to maybe half as long by removing unnecessary information. I do not need to read every minute thought a character has about a skill that he is clearly not going to take. I can think and deduce for myself that a profession that is far worse than his current one is a joke and should be disregarded without a second thought. I don't need a 3-paragraph explanation about a system mechanic that was mentioned in a past chapter.

Don't get me wrong: the system has some complicated mechanics that need to be explained some way. But the way to do it should not be via info dump by omniscient narrator. Some of it has been solved in a good way but I would suggest going over the story and embedding the information more into the actual plot. Also: sometimes short and sweet information is better than extreme detail.

Overall I think the story has a lot of potential but still has a lot of space to grow.

 

maelos61
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Too many details, not enough character

Reviewed at: Chapter 66 - The Notorious B.I.G Badger

TL;DR: Style is too much detail and repetition which leads to skimming, grammar is fine, characters are mostly flat and clichéd and don't seem alive/real, story is nothing original up to where I've read (chapter 66). It's a mediocre LitRPG that you'll likely only enjoy if you've never read another mediocre/good LitRPG before. It's 'good', but only in the way that it's a decent amalgamations of all the current stereotypes and gives you a good idea of the 'average' LitRPG story.

If you go down a page or two in the reviews (sorting by 'top'), you'll see one of the first reviews to actually be critical of the story. Before that it's just a bunch of people for whom this is likely the first decent LitRPG novel they read. I get the feeling. I think most of us have been there, where you really like this new genre, you find your first decent story in that genre and then you sing its praises. It's like falling into the rabbit hole that is xianxia. It only takes your first mediocre xianxia-novel to make you think 'This is great!.'. Then, with experience reading more of the same troped clichés and overused story aspects, you come to see it for the mediocre story it is. This is one of those stories. Is this story good compared to some of the top stories online, like 'The Wandering Inn', 'A practical Guide to Evil', Wildbow's stories? God no. It is a mediocre story, though written in such a way that it'll win in popularity with 'newcomers'.

Anyways, I mentioned a critical review and I must agree on the point it makes on the style: too many details. I've read this story up to chapter 66 by now and I have skimmed at least half, if not more of those chapters. Because they're filled with tedious details. Stretched out fight scenes, huge detailed sections with the MC's thoughts and reactions and large descriptions of items, classes and skills. This doesn't necessarily have to be boring and tedious, but do you really care about 'basic warrior class X' or 'upgraded archer class Y' that the MC will in no way shape or form ever choose? Do you really want to hear his every detailed thought about why he doesn't take said class? Maybe at the start it's interesting, but later on it just gets tedious. The fight scenes are also relatively well-done I guess? They're detailed? But when literally every chapter has one or more fights, it gets really, really, really, really damned boring. You can only read archer going pew pew and woosh woosh with every muscle fiber being detailed before you get bored and start skimming. That's what I did. I started skimming until something new and interesting happened. Like meeting new characters or something...

That brings us to the characters. They're subpar. The sad thing is, I can barely even talk of three-dimensional characters to give some kind of proof. The only people we've really given any attention to up until chapter 66 are: Jake (MC), Jacob (MC's manager), Richard (Security company boss guy), William (Failed psycho-character) and The snake god bro. TL;DR: They're not entirely flat, but they're still boring.

Jake is the most fleshed out obviously, as he's the main character. Even he's kind of flat though. What we know of him: loner, curious, likes archery, emotionally muted, fearless (?), 'ambitious' (in the way somebody who's never seen an ambitious person might describe it). The problem is: he doesn't feel real. Even after all the monologuing, he still feels like the author's self-insert with a bit of background story. One important critique to start with: where are his flaws? I swear, this man is pretty much perfect, no? I mean, he's a loner, which some might see as a flaw, but it isn't necessarily. And he isn't a 'flawed' loner. He can be social and he can interact with people, so he's not broken. No, this man has no flaws. He isn't human. We've been in his head for 66 chapters and he still doesn't seem the slightest bit human. Everything in the story has pretty much been propping him up to be the good guy and nothing else. We find out some new things about the character, but he doesn't really change or grow in any way besides the RPG numbers.

Jacob is even worse. He doesn't really change at all, he just stays the same static character he always was: 'the one good guy who's popular and isn't a meanie to the loner MC'. Once again, he doesn't feel real. No real big flaws, nothing that elevates him out of being a stereotype. He's boring.

Richard... Ah yes, the first antagonist? Kind of? He's badass because he's the leader of a security company. I mean, sure, he could be interesting even if it's cliché, but he isn't. He's kind of the opposite of the MC and Jacob: no redeeming features. He's just a conniving, cunning asshole with leadership capabilities. Literally his whole character is that. His motivations? Getting the good shit from the tutorial obviously... because power... and strong = good. Monke like motivation. Dear god, tell us more about this character if you want us to care...

William... Oh dear god, William. He's a stereotypical psychopath in the worst way. He's the boring regurgitated trope brought to life and then some time into the story he turns out to still have a tiny bit of a heart left. How original and organic it went too. Some guy gives him stuff, tells him about his sob story and he feels tinges of human emotion. What about the people he's killed so far? Why would he care now? Plot reasons obviously. If you want even an inkling of a decent psychopath character, read a story on RR called 'Rend'. That's how you write a psycho character that is actually interesting.

The last 'character' is the god. I called him snake god 'dude' because he's just a 'dude'. He's an all-powerful divine 'dude'. He talks like a 'dude', acts like a 'dude' and doesn't go further in character than a 'dude'. Want a decent immortal/long-lived character? Read more stories where they're done properly. On the one hand, it seems to have been on purpose. The Hall master Lady also seems to find his 'dude'-ness strange. That doesn't make it better though. He doesn't act at all like you'd expect from an immortal godly being and he doesn't 'break the mold' in an entertaining way either. He's just a surfer bro stereotype.

How do you want people to care about your story, its world and inhabitants when they're boring stereotypes you can read in any of the other 1000 garbage cliché stories on this website? Well, sometimes a good story can save that. Here it doesn't. The story up to this point seems as average and cliché as it gets. A battle-royale type tutorial with people being transported after being incorporated within a new system? Woooh, never seen that before... Our MC being one of the ones who can 'adapt' and thrive, while most others are useless? Woooh, truly riveting originiality. To be fair, most people would likely fail to adapt properly in such a scenario, but still. Every single time in every single one of these stories, the MC turns into a soulless and characterless puppet that just morphs into the perfect LitRPG-survivor. It's overdone, it's unoriginal and worst of all: it's boring. I'm not sure where the story is going, but judging by the beginning of this fiction it isn't trailblazing anything.

So yeah, all in all I only recommend this story if you've never read a LitRPG before. This can be your first and most cherished LitRPG, but if you've been around for a bit, you'll likely find it clichéd and boring.

Dreams
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The best thing I can say about it is would be that it's exactly what you'd expect for a high rated RR litrpg novel. Is it something that any one would call good if they picked it out of a traditional published fantasy section at their local library or bookstore? Never, but you need to have lower standards when dealing with amateur writing on a place like royal road. 

The style is pretty bluh. There's nothing awe inspiring but at the same time nothing outright offensive either. There's something shiny underneath the heavy amateur coat, but I don't think it's ever really going to shine through, especially because royal road doesn't incentivise writing improvement (I.e. look at the million perfect scores lol. If someone thinks this is a 5 star book I have no idea what they'd think if they picked up any average published, and edited, fantasy book at a library).

Grammar is fairly rough, but the author is on top of it and clearly tries to improve. Obviously that doesn't mean it deserves a 5 star score on grammar, but I can't be too harsh because the author does take comments to heart and fixes things.

It's an apocalypse story, nothing groundbreaking. Starting in a group mixes it up a little but not enough for it to stand out in any manner from the 50 others you can find on the internet. In a more focused critique the story also drags like hell up to the point I'm at. These first 100ish chapters would probably be less than 50 if you removed the fluff/filler. Readers don't need a paragraph for why this basic inferior skill is bad compared to the rare option. We're not morons, well at least not all of us. The crafting section is also pretty poor. Not in the sense that it's written terribly, but it just doesn't fit in the story where it was placed. The entire premise coming into the story is reading about this quiet "ranger" type battling it out in a system apocalypse setting, but here we are like 20 chapters about to dive in to reading  25 chapters of alchemy. Many of which are just rehashes of previous chapters except it's a mana potion, which is a tiny bit different to create than a health potion. It also handcuffs the author going forward. They'll need to be splitting like 1/4th of their page count going forward soley focused on alchemy because otherwise readers will pick up on how dumb it is for the MC to not be using it because of how powerful it is. 

Now we've arrived at the characters, which is in the running for worst part of the novel at this point. The MC is an obvious self insert whose "deficiencies" and "weaknesses" really aren't. They don't hurt him in any meaningful way and many just aren't bad to begin with. William is a villain that I think I've seen written 100 times between this website and my AP literatue class that a teach. A pure sociopath who only follows logic, except all the times he doesn't which is rationalized as him just being crazy. Oh we'll also throw in a moment where he "feels emotion" that is totally contrived and eye roll worthy. "I'm gonna murder these 10 people and walk back into town. Oh the Smith showed me an ounce of kindness and now I'm starting to feel a little bit!". Cool class/powers though. Robert is a little better and shows that author can at least write a character that is somewhat adequate and mutlidemensional, but he's practically the only one up to this point. Everyone else is basically a 1D cutout defined by one thing.

Overall, it's perfectly passable for litRPG, the genre famous for having lower standards than my nine year when she reads fantasy books. Hopefully the author improves as they get more experience, although based on some of the comments they write in the notes of the chapters I'm not sure they really care about improving.

Also, good for the author for raking the dough off this though. They do pump out material fast (The Wandering Inn style) and that's not easy thing to do. You sacrifice a lot of quality with this style (like TWI), but it does seem to be rewarded/preferred in this genre.

WRE
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Edit: added spoilers for story stuff. Sorry for that.

First thing to take out the way. Grammar. It's good. Nothing really jumps to mind in regards to mistakes. That being said, English is my second language, so there may be things I did miss.

Secondly, Style. Solid. But also not fantastic or awe-inspiring.

Character and Story. That's where things dip a little and need a longer explanation. I also think they both should be talked about at the same time, as their quality heavily relies upon each other.

The first thing to say, the characters are good. Personalities, goals, motivations, and all that stuff are good and consistent. POVs of all the other characters are enjoyable. It was really cool to see one of the antagonists' backstory. What is bad is how characters and MC interact. Or, better said, not interact. It is really strange how the author balances the story like that, because when they do interact? It is good. Very, very good, but instead of capitalizing on that, the author instead is keen on isolating the MC from all other people time and time again. You can see examples in the spoiler below.

First, it was a dungeon where Jake spends almost 20 chapters by his lonesome doing alchemy. Not gonna lie, to this day it is the worst part of this story. Seeing Jake doing nothing interesting while we are fed POVs of faction war and drama by secondary characters was very frustrating and made me gloss over most of his scenes just to get to interludes faster. They were the only thing keeping me from ditching the story.

Now, instead of a dungeon, Jake isolates himself from his own settlement by the mysterious and scary persona he created. Not only that, but Miranda, the one person willing to speak to him like a normal human being, is now afraid to offend him because of reasons. Granted, she is getting better now and her reasons are understandable (if a bit extreme IMO), but still. Is all that in character? Yes. Is it good to have MC not interact with others and put focus on fights? Not if you want to get a good story.

Honestly, it feels like a deliberate move by the author, but I just can't understand why if that's the case. They can do characters, they can do interactions and dialogue, why don't they do it more often?

The fights themselves are not bad, but they are not a substitute for the story, especially if they don't carry any weight behind them besides a desire for leveling. It is cool to see how Jake can take that monster or the other, but I would rather read more of Jake actually interacting with people instead of another mindless monster fight or profession grinding. There needs to be a balance between them all, but all I can see is alchemy technobabble and fight scenes outweighing all other parts of the story.

Thankfully, it seems that a major event will soon begin and I can only hope that meeting all other powerful people there will result in interactions between them. The presence of the samurai elder who is personally interested in Jake as well as his coworkers and family is bound to make it interesting. Hopefully, it will be more than just Jake telling Miranda to deal with it and going away to fight monsters alone. Again. 

Despite all my criticism, it is still a good story. Not great or without flaws, but enjoyable nonetheless. And I'm very eager to see how it'll continue. I just wish the author played more to their strength and put more emphasis on characters and dialogue rather than getting MC more powerful and making numbers go up.