Angel's Dirge

A wonderful new story here on RR that I'll be following and reading!

Angels of some sort have been appearing all over the world. Individually, or in groups, etheral and just sort of... there. They don't seem to do much (yet). To some they are very beautiful. And then they suddenly do do something: Attack. Peri's best friend is killed, and she is injured in such a way that she should be incapacitated for the rest of her life, if not dead as well.

But she's alive. Something has changed her in the attack. Because of the attack? She doesn't know, and neither does the military at the moment, but they intend to find out.

I'm getting a great young adult / new adult fantasy feel with this. Throw in some X-Men like mutations, a good odd 'bad guy' like Angels, and here's a hit just waiting to get more fans. I'm hoping for a bit of great military style action and set up as well, maybe à la Fullmetal Alchemist.

The writing and grammar is great. We don't have too many characters yet, but those that are here have a nice voice. I like Peri and how she's dealing with things, and feel for her and the situation she's in.

This story grabbed me by the throat and hasn't let go. It grabbed me from the beginning with it's premise - angels have been appearing all over Earth for a year now, but not doing particularly angelish or comprehensible things.  Our main character, Peri, is in her late teens (I think), a mix of anger and insecurity and care for her best friend. We get a tender glimpse into their friendship before it all gets ripped apart when the angels turn on humanity.

Style - 5/5 The writing is engaging, easy to follow and readable, speech is natural and realistic.

Grammar - 5/5 No particular errors I could see (but I'm not a grammar buff so don't shoot me if I've missed something)

Story - 5/5 I wanna Netflix binge on this story.  It's goooooooood. Tense, fast paced, internally consistent.  A+++

Character - 5/5 I love Peri! She's got flaws, and that's good; it makes her believeable and interesting. She makes sense and her reactions to what happens are consistent with who she is as a person. I look forward to seeing how she develops (particularly if that ends up with her punching an angel square in their perfect face!).

UPDATE: I'm at Chapter 34 now and still feel the same way as I did when I first reviewed this.  JUST WANT MOAR!

Angel's Dirge by Localforeigner was a good read. Peri wakes up after an attack that killed her friend only to learn that the government had taken a special interest in her because she has somehow survived the attack and has changed. From what I've read so far, I think she will become a part in a special force against the Angels, who've become evil and corrupted in this world for unexplained reason.

The coolest and most novel aspect in this book for me is how "Angels" are actually devices of the devil. We have no idea why they attacked yet, and it's the mystery that pushed me to turn the pages. I think the story has monumental potential and it just needs a little bit more polishing to put it among the best out there.

There aren't many YA novels on this site (not that I know of, at least), but if you're looking for one that serves you the good experience, this is the one. The book is fast-paced and doesn't make too much effort to bog you down with exposition. It's also filled with Angels bashing humans scenes if you're into that. 

I like the cast; they feel like real humans and do what humans would act in the given scenario. The MC, Peri, is a realistic strong woman. The way Peri grieves her dead friend reminds me very much of how my own MC in my book grieves his, so it kinda struck a chord in me reading that scene. 

There are only very minor grammatical mistakes; nothing distracting or pulled me out of my immersion. Props to the author for this!

I've always thought that angels are disturbing, and I'm glad to see a story that paints them with such a brush.

Overall – Other reviewers have covered the premise, but I might as well too. Angels come to attack Earth, and they’re great at it. Though, there’s one tiny problem with their plan. They leave behind mutated humans in the wake of their attacks. Said changed humans get carted off to join the military, and you have a recipe for the defeat of angels.

I’ve seen comparisons between Angel’s Dirge and Worm. I had to look up Worm because I’ve never read it. I see the resemblance, but I can’t speak to it beyond the superficial. Since so many reviewers have said it, I second that readers of Worm would also enjoy Angel’s Dirge.

Style – Clean and clear. I read this on low sleep in a matter of hours, and I am not confused about anything that happened. It beamed straight into my head – like a TV show.

Story – I’ve covered the premise, so I’ll move straight on to the pacing. I would describe it as steady. It’s true that after the initial angel attack, training and relationship building take center stage. Some might find the pace a bit slow, but I found it just right. Angel killing soon to follow. By the way, the angels are not traditional / Bayonetta style. They’re more like renaissance paintings.

Grammar – I did notice a couple of tense shifts in the first chapter. They occurred when Peri was getting into a fight. The story takes place in past tense, but a handful of sentences moved to present tense. That was the only area that tripped me. The occasional misspelling does occur, but they don’t bother me.

Character – Peri has the most character development at the moment. She starts out as an angry girl (college aged) but transitions pretty quick into a reasonable, if aggressive, individual. Is the transition too quick? Possibly, but it does occur during rigorous military training. I hear that does wonders for attitude issues. But, if you read deep enough, you will notice a subtle shift in her character.

The other characters are a bit less developed, but you can get a clear sense of their personalities through Peri. I imagine more development will follow. Plenty of time for that.

If you like Worm, the work of Drew Hayes (Super Powereds specifically), or Evangelion (

) you will probably like Angel’s Dirge.

Small warning about sexual content – not acts, just feelings. Shouldn’t bother the average reader, but it is present. 

I’ve just raced through the first 5 chapters and delighted I’ve got a lot more to catch up on, Definitely binge worthy.  Love the premise here and Looking forward  to discovering  more of the Angels, or whatever they are, and how we cope without the use of  our modern communications in what is shaping up to be an epic struggle.  Great storyline  And storytelling.

Overall score - 5
Style - 5
Grammar - 5
Story - 4.5
Character - 4.5
 
This story is building up to be an epic tale of humanity vs the unknown power of angels. The potential of this story is limitless and only great things can be expected. And as such this story is based on its current state and the potential it has as it grows. (I will come back in maybe 10 chapters to update but I doubt the score will change.)

Style:
This is a first-person story that follows the main character Peri. It is expertly written from how this young woman is feeling to the complexities of her thought process as the ideas in her head swing back and forth. It also does a fantastic job of slowly building the atmosphere and future impact of the story.

Grammar:
I think it's pretty darn flawless. It is very obvious that the author takes their time with their story and the editing process.

Story:
The story is a slow build. As of now, the only action the occurred was in the beginning but it is promising an epic fight for humanity later. I can see the story progression and even though the current section is predictable in the fact a training segment is going to take place over the next few chapters but once that is over, the ball is in the air. At that point, the author will be able to get creative and unleash their story's potential. It will be exciting to see the other powers of the Changed and how they will fight the angels.

Character:
The only character we know of is the MC. She is a very powerful young lady that has all the typical emotions that a young woman would have in their mind. She is a protector type of lady who would defend herself and her friends to the bitter end. She wants to be tough in front of others as she doesn't want to appear weak. After the incident, and she became Changed and gained powers of self-healing as far as we know. This really fits her personality as she'll be able to protect others and herself more effectively.

Besides her, the only other character we really know of is a mysterious man named August. Who is he and what his plans are, remain a mystery.

Overall 5/5: Honestly, this story gave me shivers. Just read to the end of the first chapter and you’ll see what I mean. This is a great story, and I'm very invested in the plot and main character.

Style 5/5: This story is very well written.  Descriptions are down-to earth, which fit the main character, so I can hear the voice of the narrator coming through well.  The only thing I would change is that the author breaks the “show, don’t tell” rule a few times. Like when the main character’s friend says, “I know you’re like, a goth chick and all…”

Story 4.5/5:  This reminds me of Worm. Extraterrestrial beings appearing that give people superpowers? And the government trying to corral everyone with superpowers to form groups in sketchy ways? Just the similarity to Worm makes me very excited. The only thing that I would change is that a lot happens in the first chapter, and then it takes 6 more chapters for things to really develop past what we already know from the summary.

Grammar 5/5: After 7 chapters, I didn’t notice a single mistake. Great work!

Character 5/5:  The main character has a compelling voice, a clear and intense drive, and also believable flaws.   There is also a very intriguing side character who I’d love to learn more about.

Unlike any other story that have read, this story does not consider the angels as a force of all that is good and holy. Instead, they are the force that has descended down on earth to achieve our destruction and annihilation. Quite interesting isn’t it?
The story starts with the main character spending a mundane day with her best friend. This scene sets up the protagonist’s character, her faults, her virtues and her problems. Mainly her status as an orphan, her anger management issues and a background in the local juvenile system. Not your regular goody two shoes, is she?
The story progresses well from there, however, it leaves quite a few questions behind. Just what are these angels? What are their goals? Why are they attacking humans? And why did the local governments do nothing against them until now? These questions also seem to haunt the main character. This implies that the author has answers for them and is only waiting to reveal them at a proper time. This hints at the deep roots of the story, something I like very much.
If there was one thing, however, it would be the pace of the story and the length of the later chapters. The later chapters feel like they are just a singular scene when a chapter should be more than just a single scene. If those two issues could be mitigated, then this novel would be A+.

Hello, let’s keep this short and sweet, shall we?

Should you try Angel's Dirge?

Yes, yes you should.

Long answer:

The Style of the story is serviceable at worst, and flowing and enjoyable to read at it's best. The flow of the earliest chapters held my attention to the page beautifully, and even while I was feeling unwell while reading, it did an excellent job of being understandable when my brain was hardly working.

The Grammar is fair, as you'd expect from anything put up on RoyalRoad. It does have some spelling/basic grammar issues here and there that make a sentence feel funny or off in some way, but only frequent to twice a chapter or so, at least from what I took notice of.

The Story starts of magnificently. With an almost literal bang, in fact. The beginning chapters of the story were great in that it got all the information that you needed to you, while realistically keeping the main character in a position she was placed in over a 'long' span of time and not make it seem horrifically boring. Not too fast, not too slow.

However, this is one of those stories, where you can point to an arc or even an inciting chapter and say, "This is gonna make certain people tune-out/stop reading/what-have-you!" I was certainly a reader that felt as though the few conflicts that did arise could have been handled better, but I would be a hypocrite if I didn't also say that a wonky start to a conflict or plot point doesn't always mean that it'll continue to be the same. I believe that there is a high likelihood that this'll either be fixed through editing, or by story/character progression later that amends those issues.

Note: This will vary from reader to reader. Do not let this dissuade you from reading in the slightest.

The Characters are pretty damn good, all of them are solid foundations from which a new character can be born on the altar of the story; the story that will surely make them suffer handily. Some of them rub me the wrong way as of now, but expecting it all to be hunky-dory, even in the context of the world itself, is silly. Again, I'm confident that something at least interesting will be done with the characters that dislike on any level.

Please do read. It's just worth the shot on whether you'll enjoy it, and that's pretty damn good on RR.

Have a good one.

Read it!!!. Just throw away ur hesitation and give it a gander, enjoyable read and well written.

Definitely one of the better stories out and about at the moment could do with a bit more support from readers and all that. 

I like turtles and beware  the penguin overlords.

Honestly 50 word limits is annoying i can't count that high