Tale of Family - Book 1 - WIP

by Luxmes

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

The world is peaceful in 2063. Fusion reactor and Diamon battery had taken care of the energetical problem. Countries were stable. Automation was everywhere. Life wasn't hard anymore, at least not in the United States of Europe. Summer break is about to start and, finally, Zoe will turn 18 and be able to play the game, Binding Fate. A simple video game, a vrmmo, but what swam under its surface wasn't simple. Power, fame and money were but the tip of the iceberg...

 State: Hiatus because I've an idea for another story.

Quick F.A.Q. :

- Yuri/female homosexual relation? Yes.
- Yaoi/male homosexual relation? Maybe.
- Explicit Sexual Content? Maybe.
- Full Fledged Tragedy? No. Never, ever ever.
- Body Modification/Body Horror? Yes. (Note: what one person think is body horror can be acceptable for someone else. If you want to see to what length I can go, read a bit of The Other Labyrinth. However, I won't go as high as quickly in the body mod/horror, so relax.
- Gore? Hell yeah! I love gore! spraying blood and viscera etc...
- Torture? Hurgh... maybe? Idk. Not at the start at the very least.
- Memory loss/erasing? No, or at least not permanently. I basically hate this trope because it's like taking out all the character grow from a character, destroying everything that makes them what and who they are. so no.
- Overpowered protagonist? You will see mufufu...
- Will characters stay relevant seeing how numerous they are? YES, MOTHERFUCKING YES, I hate when characters relevance decay over time for no good reasons ^^'
- Plot Armor? First of all, a definition: "Sometimes referred to as "Script Immunity" or a "Character Shield", Plot Armor is when a main character's life and health are safeguarded by the fact that he's the one person who can't be removed from the story. Therefore, whenever Bob is in a situation where he could be killed (or at the least very seriously injured), he comes out unharmed with no logical, in-universe explanation." (courtesy of https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PlotArmor I love you guys ^^) So now that this is said, do my characters have plot armour? No, because I always have an in-universe explanation, even if you don't know it yet ^^ Something is illogical or don't make sense? Read more, the answer is surely in the story ^u^
- Balanced system? If you want to crush numbers and have a perfect equation balancing all the system, that's not the story for you. The system is more like a living being, and the rewards aren't forcibly tied to the level of the player. In fact, the system is purposely unbalanced ^^'

Author's note:

My goal here is to write a slow-paced story revolving around the bonds linking the characters, be them family, friends or lovers. Fight will be part of it, but I intend to build an actual interesting world before making truly large-scale battle happen, because the bigger a battle is, the larger its causes and effects are. I also aim at telling a story about how the characters actually help each other becoming stronger, more stable and happier. I particularly despise the lone MC type that becomes so powerful that every other character of the current setting become irrelevant beside being hostage targets, so this will not happen. I also like crafting, arrays, blacksmithing etc... so there may be crafting. Another thing I like is management game like sim-city or the like, so this while also appears, keeping in mind that I like MC's that make people around them stronger...

For the tropers around here, a list of tropes that I like to use (note that I may not use all of them ^^) (this list will be updated as I dive deeper and deeper into our dear trope wiki.)

- https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BodyHorror
- https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SealedGoodInACan
- https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouAreNotAlone
- https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ZombieAdvocate (In particular since I see a lot of things that aren't human as worthy to live and to live with)
- https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvenEvilHasLovedOnes
- https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvenEvilHasStandards
- https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HeelFaceTurn
- https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CorruptTheCutie (Note: being corrupted don't mean you're a villain, only different than before.)
- https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DefectingForLove (Of course.)
- https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VillainousRescue
- https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InterspeciesAdoption (For the same reasons as zombie advocate, since I love family stuff)
- https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrokenBird (to go with corrupt the cutie if it's a girl)

Cover: "The Bard" by John Martin, 1817.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
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Author
Luxmes

Luxmes

The void smiling

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Reviews
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Maverick26
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Grammar-

The grammar is passable and I can understand the novel clearly for the most part, but there are many small mistakes such as missing words or misspelled ones that make it hard to understand sometimes.

Style-

The style is unique in that it frequently switches perspective between the real world, the virtual world, and multiple characters throughout both of them. The author also does a good job of making these transitions flow smoothly and make sense within the novel since these multiple perspectives usually run concurrently to each other.

Story-

The most interesting part of the story to me is the intriguing concept of the vrmmorpg that is heavily focused on in the novel. It is very different from other vrmmorpgs in other stories in a way that makes events that take place inside of the vrmmorpg impactful even if it is just a game to the main character initially.

Character-

I found the main character to be very relatable and charming due to her distinct interests and hobbies along with her laidback attitude as she becomes more acquainted with the world of the game. However, aside from a few, most of the other characters seem very one note and uninteresting. 

Ankur_93
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Quite an off heading for the review of a VRMMO story, isn’t it? Well, its because this story is less about the MMO and more about the people, both in the real world and the virtual. We all have read VRMMOs that had AI NPCs yet they don’t seem to matter in the grand scheme of things. Well, this is not one of those stories.
For all intents and purposes, the virtual world is a bright new world for the people to explore. It is not just a fantasy adventure trap but a VRMMO that forces its users to treat the NPCs as actual people. The author has found a brilliant method of doing this by binding a thinking NPC with the gamers and forcing them to interact with the inhabitants of the new world. Not only that, but the gamers have to keep this NPC alive as it can die just like them.
That being said, the style of the story takes some getting used to. The constant back and forth are a bit disorienting but it is an artistic choice. And the reason why the author chose this style becomes clear in the next few chapters and I ended up agreeing with the author’s decision.
The grammar is good and at times needs a touch help but it is not something that Grammarly can’t fix. The character development of the MC was also nicely done, especially her arrival in the new world and her reaction to it. Overall, this is a nice story and I would recommend giving it a try.

neilu
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Tale of Family is a decent casual read.

But it does have some very real flaws at the time of this review in my opinion. The author seems to really want to improve so I'm hopeful though.
At the moment, this should not be compared to professional writing like the top novels on RR but I'd be amazed if a friend told me they wrote this.


style : 4/5

The style is ok, although it has some issues, namely inconsistent time tenses and some excessive pov switches in some chapters. Like, why am I getting 5 pov alternance for three lines each time? Just group them up a little more. Some conversations don't feel very natural too.

On the upsides, the descriptions are good and the pacing is good, slightly on the fast side in my opinion.

story : 4/5

I really like how this is an isekai with big things in motion trying to pass for a gamelit. Overall, in spite of bad stuff happenning, the story is super wholesome and cute which is also pretty cool.

On the negatives, the MC has plot armor that comes with automatic rapid fire canons. Of doom. I like some struggle, there's none yet. But the story isn't really about struggling, so that's alright.

Story is weeb friendly. There are kyaas and onee-chans.

The game system doesn't feel quite right to me during the exposition but it seems to get better later on? Time will tell. Eitheir way, balance was not a concern (which is why I'm calling this an isekai rather than a gamelit)

grammar : 2.5/5

(note that I'm rather picky with grammar)
- English is clearly not the author's mother tongue but it's not bad to the point of being unreadable.
- There are lots of typos
- There are often missing words
- Mistakes such as writting sweaty instead of sweety or leach instead of leech or choir instead of chore...
-> often breaks the immersion because I regularly found myself trying to figure out what author meant.
But it's still better than automatically translated chinese novels.

characters : 3.5/5

The characters are mostly likeable: they are cute, driven and energetic
They do have flaws imo, such as being too caricatural. They aren't 2d but their defining traits clearly overwhelm the more subdued ones so they don't feel very realistic/relatable.

Their choices and behavior seem occasionally a bit out of place to me (although some of that, in particular dialogues could just be the author not being very confortable writing dialogues in english.)

Finally, there are a lot of characters. I'm curious to see how the author will manage to keep everybody relevant.

Overall, I would easily recommend this story to people with a weeb side that are looking for wholesome slice of life.

[reviewed as part of a review swap]

Akaso
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I'll preface this by saying that this was done as part of a review swap, but I'm not a good enough liar to be dishonest in reviews.

>Style

The writer's style is pretty clearly still developing, but what is already there has a lot of potential for greatness. I'd suggest some developmental path here, but I'm just as self-taught as anyone else.

>Grammar

I only noticed a couple small typos, but they didn't break the flow enough to make me remember and point them out.

>Story

It wears its influences on its sleeve, which I greatly appreciate. This story is a slower-paced twist on the mainstay LitRPG/Gamelit/System genres, and it doesn't try to pretend to be anything other than that, which once again, is greatly appreciated.

>Characters

Believable, likable, effective. I found myself pleasantly surprised by the absence of the "Dead/Absent Parents" trope and the fact that they themselves were basically former Gamelit protags. I'm not good at character analysis.

>Summary

I find myself positively biased with these types of stories if they exclude certain tropes that I personally dislike, so my score might be a little skewed. Guess you'll just have to read it and form your own opinion.

dimsum
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Captivating Plot and World Building & System!

Reviewed at: Chapter 8 - A Breath of Reality

In terms of content, if you're a fan of VRMMO games as well as the fantasy and adventure genres, I highly recommend you to give Tale of Family a chance and read it!  I really enjoyed reading about the VRMMO system and the two worlds between characters.  The story pacing a bit fast, but if you overlook that, I try to re-imagine this as a movie or anime series when I read through the chapters. 

Regarding grammar, it can take some time to get used to, but it doesn't hinder the my reading experience with the story.  Sometimes, I get confused but it's not that big of a deal for me.  What encourages me to keep reading is the direction of the story and anticipation for the next chapter or next big event.

Moreover, the style in which the scenes switch from one place or person to the other can be pretty cinematic to me.  It's definitely different from what I am used to, but at the same time, I feel that, without this, I wouldn't have found some of the earlier events as captivating.  This is just my opinion on this. 

Overall, I really liked the worldbuilding of Tale of Family.  The NPCs are actual people with their backstories, and they have real feelings as well as a sense of autonomy.  It reminds me a bit of Sword Art Online and Log Horizon (both are anime series that you should check out if you'd like).  The different characters, aside from the main character, are all unique, and I enjoy learning about them throughout the plot.