The First Psionic (Book 1: Hexblade Assassin)

by greentleevis

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Horror Anti-Hero Lead GameLit Grimdark High Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Mythos Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Since childhood, Sorath has been able to sense emotions and hear thoughts of those around him. He is the first soul in recorded history with a psionic affinity, and he is either feared or laughed at for his abilities.

As an eighteen-year-old Hexblade, he takes on the King's bounty lists to pay off a half-million gold debt he inherited from his presumably deceased father. If he fails to make repayments, he will be taken into forced labor. If he flees, he himself will become a bounty target.

Outside faction boundaries in the lawless wild, bandit gangs run rampant, and Sorath quickly discovers that many of his past schoolyard tormentors and rivals are on the King's bounty lists—and that far more sinister influences are at work driving the kingdom's descent into crime and corruption.

A LitRPG set in a dark fantasy world with innate game systems.

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greentleevis

greentleevis

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Kevmo
Overall

Where’s the psionics?

Reviewed at: Chapter 11

There's a lot this story does well. Pretty good grammar, characters, and plot.

So why didn't I give a higher score? Mostly because the premise seems like a bait and switch. The title of the story emphasizes a character with psionics. The background chapters emphasize that the thing that sets the main character apart is his psionics. Yet, once we get to the part where he actually sets out into the world, his psionics seems to take a backstage.

Telepathy doesn't really serve as much of a plot device beyond "I detected some enemies by feeling the mana of their thoughts". The one exception is when he serves as a human lie detector. Telekinetic gets a bit of screen time but doesn't really make him stand out as unique. His skills that are highlighted in fights are mostly hack-n-slash. If anything, the two things that seems to define him are his backstab-teleport and time manipulation. What does time manipulation have to do with psionics?

I would love to see some of the random skills downplayed and really explore the telepathy aspect from a plot perspective. 

Stillness
Overall

We’ll see if this goes anywhere

Reviewed at: Prologue

An early review so things will likely change, but my initial impresion is that this doesn't stand out in any way. The prologe trys to cram 18 years of the main character's life into a chapter, but doesn't actualy show me who the main character is as a person or much about the setting. The only important bit is the end with the main character's desire to hunt down criminals to pay off his father's debt. To be honest, I don't understand why he doesn't leave his debt and the kingdom he's in behind, since he doesn't seem to have family, friends, or wealth. The only explanation given for doing so is to respect his father's memory, which seems weak. Overall, the prologue sets up a plot hook but doesn't give me any reason to care about the character.

Chris Lee
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A novel you must give a try.

Reviewed at: Chapter 18

I've read the review by STILLNESS, and I have to disagree. The novel is fantastic, and I love the writing. It pulls me into the setting and the MC's thoughts.

For those expecting the MC to use his psionic abilities a lot, it seems that he is just starting to use them, and the only use is him mind-reading.

Style:

The author, Greentleevis, has a fantastic, very descriptive writing style. His use of multiple descriptive words, and description that are unique help me imagine the setting. I can just imagine the MC running through different environments, and fight scenes are fantastic as well. You'll see when you read that his descriptions are colorful. The main reason I love Greentleevis' writing is because he transitions scenes so smoothly, and even his descriptions of dreams are realistic and thorough.

Grammar-wise, there's nothing that was noticeable enough that sticks to my mind. I have just read to chapter 9 and I cannot think of any obvious grammar errors. A very smooth read!

Story:

I personally enjoy reading novels about a struggling MC rising up in social order. I noticed STILLNESS' review complaining about the idea that the MC has a half million gold debt, but you haven't read it yet. You gave a review after reading the DAMN prologue. The story moves pretty fast in the beginning, but he transitions really well between ages/gaps, and covers it up with plenty of information. You can argue that maybe Sorath could leave behind his debt, but we don't know how big the world is yet. All we know as that the kingdom covers most of the land, and is the only civilization that is safe and you can guarantee food, water, and shelter. The author explains that the wilderness is where any crimes can be committed. Why would you want to live there? Returning to civilization for safety should be an option that should always be kept open. I really like how the author portrays Sorath's position in society.

Character score:

I like the character's personality. As a child, he's similar to those geniuses or kids you see hanging out by themselves, or seems weird, but turns out to be a fantastic person. At least, that's how I see it. His personality is not suffocating, he isn't arrogant, and works hard. His character interactions and responses to others are very realistic, considering his current situation.

 

I recommend you give it a try, fellow reader. It's definitely worth your time, and I can't wait to see how Sorath overcomes future conflicts and develops as a person. I can't wait to see the worldbuilding and learn more about where he lives. Again, give it a read!

 

Cassus O
Overall

Just let me rate stuff without writing an essay! oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop oop