A Bride in Diyu

by Mar32

Jia Meifeng had always been an accepting person. When her parents died, she nodded her head at the fact that her maternal uncles didn't want her. When she was taken to her father's birth village by her paternal aunt, she agreed that it would be in exchange for participating in the village's strange centennial marital practice. Now that she is eighteen, she accepts that her old life is gone and she has to live in a sort of Hell called Diyu, reminiscent of the Imperial Courts she had only ever seen on TV.

What Meifeng cannot accept is being abandoned in a strange place on her wedding night. For the first time since her parents' passing Meifeng decides that she will live the life she wants to by sneaking into town as a masquerading fortune telling demon. Everything would have been perfect but instead, while telling fortunes, she uncovers a plot by a mysterious person who is murdering unsuspecting souls awaiting their judgment.

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Mar32

Mar32

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Senator
Overall
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Story
Grammar
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A unique story with an interesting idea.

The writing, for the most part, is fine. There are a lot of redundant descriptions and phrasing for the first couple chapters, but the author seemed to hit their stride in the third chapter and delivered a solid chapter with little to complain about. The first two chapters were a little difficult for me to get through, since I found a lot of the descriptions to not add anything to the story, but that's more of a personal preference than a technical fault by the author. 

The story, while not expressed very much in the first few chapters, sounds interesting enough to keep reading. I didn't find anything wrong with the characters, and for the most part they seem to all have their own personalities.

I had to take points off for grammar because there were a decent amount of technical issues. Note to the author: go back through the first couple chapters and look out for splices and unessecary commas, as well as some clauses that absolutely need commas but don't have them.

bootstrap_paradox
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

having read chapter one, I can already recommend this story to those who enjoy fiction with mythological, magical, and historical elements

it is clear that the author has done their research and developed a rich and captivating world

the story hooks you with a mystery from the first few paragraphs, but it is quite slow paced for now, with more time spent on exposition and characters - so it is a hit for those who want character-driven stories with excellent imagery 

apart from minor issues, it is well-written, with near perfect grammar and good balance of show and tell

can't say much about the plot based on what is available so far but it is definitely off to a good start!

 

HMiruko
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Off to a great start

Reviewed at: Chapter One

The author has a great style of vividly showing the story. It was very descriptive giving us a clear and distinct imagery of what was happening in the story. 

The story is still setting off, so there's little to say plotwise. As of the moment of writing, the plot is yet to develop. That said, our main character is still quite naive and stubborn, thus the score. Nevertheless, I hope to see her character development as the story progress.

As the title suggests, the story includes Chinese mythology, so expect Chinese mythology jargons. Although a quick Google search is enough to fill that.

The grammar is almost perfect, which gives us a great, smooth read.


Generally, it's off to a good start, and I can't wait for more.

D.C.Veiling
Overall

Very high potential in this!

Reviewed at: Chapter Four

Only four chapters and I am already hooked by the story concept and the awesome environment the author has built up as his setting.

If he keeps up the quality, this is a book I would buy!

 

So far I would rate style, story and character 5* but it's a bit early so I will likely leave an advanced review later when there is more content.

Anyway - give it a try!

TheDabbler
Overall

I give this a 5/5 for style and I believe this deserves that score completely, the prose is beautiful to read! Unfortunately I feel the story is lacking in comparison, however that is influenced by my own bias I have no doubt. It's a great opening to what sounds like a gripping story as a girl from Earth takes her first steps in the Demon King's court. Overall... Great story!

Onch
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Style: There are some descriptions that are repeated often in the beginning, but those dissapear pretty quickly. Over-descripting would be a good way to summarize the first two chapters, but the others have a more mastered pacing.

Grammar: Okay, with some issues here and there.

Story: The story is pretty interesting and makes the rreader want to read more, and that's coming from someone who is usually not really into this genre.

Characters: The story is in it's infancy, so I can't really comment on that for now. But the MC seems interesting and with depth.