Reborn in Another World as a (Colorless) Demon Prince

by Eyeball1844

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

He made his break through and proved the naysayers wrong. But just as everything in life was falling into place, he died. A strange being meets him in the in-between, and he is given a second chance at life. The world he's reborn into in full of wonderous monsters and adventures to be had.

However, he's not human anymore, but a demon. And not just any demon, but a Colorless prince. Even worse, demons and humans don't exactly...get along. War looms between the two nations, and threatens to capsize his life into chaos and blood.

If he wants to make anything of himself, he will need to work very, very hard. 

It's a shame he's not sure what to do or where he wants to go.

Please note: The story is a slow burn and only starts to pick up after chapter 8. Also, if you like Re:Zero, give this one a shot. It is also a weak to strong story.

  • Overall Score
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  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
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Eyeball1844

Eyeball1844

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1: A Zero ago
Chapter 2: The Garden ago
Chapter 3: The Demon Prince ago
Chapter 4: Essence ago
Chapter 5: Prelude to Nightmare ago
Chapter 6: The Loftus Manor (1) ago
Chapter 6.5 EXTRA: Prank Attempt ago
Chapter 7: The Loftus Manor (2) ago
Chapter 8: The Loftus Manor (3) ago
Chapter 9: The Loftus Manor (4) ago
Chapter 10: The Loftus Manor (5) ago
Chapter 11: The Loftus Manor (6) ago
Chapter 12: The Loftus Manor (7) ago
Chapter 13: Return ago
Chapter 14: Trial ago
Chapter 15: Deceit (1) ago
Chapter 16: Deceit (2) ago
Chapter 17: Deceit (3) ago
Chapter 18: Deceit (4) ago
Chapter 19: Deceit (5) ago
Chapter 20: Deceit (6) ago
Chapter 21: Deceit (7) ago
Chapter 22: Deceit (8) ago
Chapter 23: Deceit (9) ago
Chapter 24: Deceit (10) ago
Chapter 25: Nightmare ago
Chapter 26: First Mission (1) ago
Chapter 27: First Mission (2) ago
Chapter 28: First Mission (3) ago
Chapter 29: First Mission (4) ago
Chapter 30: First Mission (5) ago
Chapter 31: First Mission (6) ago
Chapter 32: First Mission (7) ago
Chapter 33: Colorless ago
Chapter 34: Angel ago
Chapter 35: Commit ago
Chapter 36: Goal ago
Chapter 37: Prelude to Nightmare (2) ago
Chapter 38: Prelude to Nightmare (3) ago
Chapter 39: Prelude to Nightmare (4) ago
Chapter 40: Prelude to Nightmare (5) ago
Chapter 41: Nightmare (2) ago
Future Plans, Adressing Questions and Criticisms, Q&A, etc. ago
Chapter 42: Herald ago
Chapter 43: Pair (1) ago
Chapter 44: Pair (2) ago
Chapter 45: Pair (3) ago
Chapter 46: Pair (4) ago
Chapter 47: Calm Waters (1) ago
Chapter 48: Calm Waters (2) ago
Chapter 49: Calm Waters (3) ago
Chapter 50: Calm Waters (4) ago
Hiatus and Potential Rewrite ago

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Vera Anne Wolf
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Overall Score: Kieran has reborn as a sheltered prince of a demon race. He appears to be treated differently because of his Colorless nature/status and he is just beginning to learn magic at the age of 10 instead of age 3 as most of his race does. The why to this has yet to be explained, but its an interesting premise. How will his newly found ability *spoiler* change his current status as a Colorless Prince? How will the war between humans and demon impact his future as a prince of this kingdom? Will we ever meet and get to know other members of his family and see why he is classified as colorless? Lots of questions.

Style Score: The style and flow of the story is pretty well written. I did not feel overwhelmed with expositions and the writing was quite active with some nicely detailed descriptions throughout. However, one thing that stood out to me from the get-go was the writers almost visceral resistance to using his MC’s name. To the point that I’m still not sure what the MC’s name in his original life was. Another issue would be the way the writer would describe a reaction before letting the reader know what the character was reacting too. This created some confusion and disruption to the reader.

Story Score: While the writing was active, the actions and events of the stories up to the end of chapter 5 are all very passive and slow-paced. Even the Truck-kun incident was described in such a way, I hardly reacted to it at all. Reading the story, in a way, makes me feel half-asleep because I’m waiting for something lively to happen to wake me up. (Note: the author does warn the opening is slow but this is where the review exchange ended)

Another issue is that while some elements of the story are presented: such as being Colorless, having only one horn, and certain parts of Kieran’s training. The why they are that way, what they mean, why they are important are often left out. This is another point of confusion and even frustration because I don’t know if I’ll ever get an answer or how much longer everything will remain vague and mysterious.

Even if the action of this story does pick up after chapter 6 (according to the author note in the synopsis) you can keep readers engaged with more intuitive world-building rather than vague details, some of which appear to contradict themselves. Training at 10 vs 3. Why? The war when Teal asked for a raise, the War that started later between demons and humans. Who were they at war with before? (See comments for more details.)

In fact, after reading 5 chapters, I learned very little that wasn’t already presented in the short synopsis of this story. Holding back some information as a mystery is fine, but when it comes to worldbuilding, I don’t see a reason for this. The more I know, the more I'll care. The more that's left unknown, the less I have to care about.

Grammar Score: Other than the occasional missing word and oddly structured sentences, I didn’t notice anything major.

Character Score: This is a difficult one for me. I think the character Kieran is such a passive-aggressive soul that its hard to really connect with him and understand what his goals and frustrations are because there is no real high point for him as far as interest or emotions. He gets mildly irritated, mildly curious, etc. Mild or disinterested is pretty much his state of mind. When his emotions do kick into high gear, its because of performance anxiety or fear of failure which appears to be a weakness. Perhaps something that carried over from his previous life where it took him three years to pass senior year and graduate. This, however, should not be seen as a fault, rather than his actual personality. That said...he might feel a bit more realistic if he actually cared about something. So far his interests are reading and sleeping. So while I can't say I enjoyed his personality or character development so far, I won't knock it either because it appears to serve a purpose.

The other characters Alexandra and Teal appear to play the role of good cop, bad cop as far as acting as his attendants and training him. Though, I would describe Alexandra as more overly strict than a bad person.

Onch
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Style: Descriptions are enough to paint the scene, but at times it would be nice to give more details. The pacing is good and well-balanced for a nice reading experience despite the (too) slow first chapters.

Story: The story is a staple of the genre, being reincarnated into a demon prince. But this prince is, by the fantasy world’s standards, a bit shit. Despite the generic premise, the execution is quite well done, albeit the slight lack of world-building is shame.

Grammar: Okay, a few odd sentences here and there but perfectly readable.

Character: Mostly focused on the MC, he seems like an intelligent person and acts accordingly. The other characters are also seeing some development, which is nice.

Ankur_93
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The very first thing noticeable about this story was the focus on establishing the character's personality within the first few chapters, which are essentially a long prologue rather than individual chapters. 

The next thing that we notice is the plots that are unfolding around the MC. We see a distinct lack of screentime where parents are not even mentioned. Instead, we are given 2 maids who have a lot of power over a prince. And both of them seem to have their own agenda. I.E... plots, plots all around.

The grammar is also on the point and was enjoyable to read. In the end, I would only say, give it a read. 

 
romiovictor123
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Begining is slow (not much world building), but will pick up the pace eventually. Overall 5/5.

 

When I was reading the novel it did not feel slow at all everything flowed really well. This is well written so 5/5.

 

Only found one word with the wrong tense. 5/5

 

There has not been much story and could use a bit more worldbuilding. Other than that everything is nicely done. I'm expecting the worldbuilding to start soon since the MC's hardships have just begun. 4.5/5

 

All the characters feel realistic even the side characters have personalities. All dialog feels true to the characters. 5/5

Orphicle
Overall

34 chapters and the mc is still being carried like a child even though he's 36 years old real time. He has no work ethic, talent, and desire to improve. He literally got sent to a new world as a prince and is still acting like an idiot. He gets carried by his caretakers and family every step of the way. Not a weak to strong story but a weak to weak

MrBadWithNames
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Style - 5/5

The way the story makes it a real page-turner as evident by me binge-reading it until the lates chapter, haha.

The pacing is great and personally it feels like a fun mix between leaving time for world-building and moving along with the plot.

There is also a fair amount of space dedicated to describing certian items of people which is always a plus!

Grammar - 5/5, no mistakes found!

 

Story - 4/5, while the events of the story thus far are very well written I don't see any over-arching plot just yet, as such a 4/5 has been placed until further notice!

Characters - 5/5, the story is some awesome characters, and even the once-off and throwaway characters feel like they have at least some dept to them.

The story is full or fun, relatable characters... and Alexandra.

 

Overall 5/5, if you are a fan of isekai, demons and not a world which is edgy for the sake of edge, I definitely reccomend this story to you! It was an absolute joy to read and I can't wait to see where it goes :D

 

Plasticpebble22
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Overall 4/5: I like the plot. MC is a demon prince (but not all-powerful, or the strongest of his siblings), and there is a war brewing. I’m giving it a 4/5 because it takes a while for things to really start happening (but things do happen!) Also lowered to a 4/5 because the writing could be clearer at parts.   

Style: 4/5: The descriptions get the job done. They aren’t particularly striking, but I’m not looking to be blown away.

Story: 4.5/5: Honestly, the pacing in the first few chapters felt a bit slow.  Just read past it, and things do start happening and the pace picks up.  

Grammar: 4/5: Generally well-edited.  There are a few moments where I had to re-read because of grammar mistakes, or because it wasn’t clear who is talking—more dialogue tags would be useful.

Character 5/5: Kieran is an intelligent MC, who seems to know what’s up.  He’s asking the right questions, and slowly gaining power. 

VMJaskiernia
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

We begin our story with a guy who's had it a bit tough. Sleep issues, family a little meh, took a while to graduate high school. But it's getting there.. except after he goes to buy a midnight snack at the store he's killed.

He gets another chance though and is reborn as a demon prince.

It's well written- simple and easy to understand, but full of character. You empathize with the MC and his life and want to know if his new one will be better. If seems to be, he is a prince with tutors, but I have a feeling being a 'colorless' demon isn't the best.

No grammar errors that I could spot, love the characters, and the world that's being set up.

Auraptor
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

"Devilishly brilliant“ ("teuflisch genial“) is an expression we use often in German, so I thought it was an adequate title for this review. This story follows our protagonist Ray. At the start, he fits the unlucky every dude trope to a T, until one day, he encounters a strange butterfly and is reborn as the demon prince Kieran.

 

And what should I say? I like the result. The first chapters do a very good result of making me care for Ray/Kieran (in fact, the first two are arguably my favorite chapters). Yes, he is fairly bland, as some other reviewers have pointed out, but I have zero problems with such characters as long as they face relatable struggles.

Even after being reborn as a prince, his life isn’t as easy as most would imagine royalty to be. The duties of being a prince, the struggles with being a Colorless as well as his interactions with Alexandra and Teal make for very compelling social conflicts that move the story forward.

The author skillfully uses the dual-plot structure which, to those unfamiliar, is a storytelling technique which combines external and internal conflicts to keep the story varied. Most of the story so far focuses on Kieran’s social conflicts with his caretakers while the threat posed by the Corrupted builds up in the meantime. I expect that Kieran will have to prove himself as a proper prince at the climax before he can save his kingdom.

 

That being said, the story is far from perfect. I think the author knows this, so sugarcoating this fact wouldn’t help anyone. I don’t think I can really add anything others haven’t already said about the slow-paced beginning. While that might just be me, I also found the sudden transition from Ray to Kieran jarring. Maybe a line at the end of the second chapter that amounts to "your name is now Kieran“ would have helped a lot. But then again, that’s just me.

I considered giving it 4.5/5 stars. However, I can relate to how frustrating it is to have your story score dragged down for no real reason, so I’ll round up and give five stars.

strand VV
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This is an isekai story with the twist being the MC being reincarnated as a demon prince. The power system is unique, not alot was revealed about it. But the aurhor seems to have mapped out with weakness and strengths, followed by dervative skills. There are some blessings but those are still being explained since the author didn't reveal much about them.

 

The story is honestly gripping, as it follows how the MC explores the world around as for me the reader see the world open bit by bit. It is a slow burner at first, but I think it is all worth it since the author seems to be laying the ground work for an expansive world.

 

I loved the style, every word matched for the the meaning conveyed, and there was no scene without the picture being clear for imagination.

 

The grammar for me was perfect so nothing i can sau about it.

 

The characters were all fleshed out, each with their own personalities and emotions. The dialogue followed naturally to tje character speaking which would make you tell apart who is who.