Quest is not for sorceress

by Mia Dendragon

Join me with the rest of the crew on the deck as we sailed on The Tornado, exclusively in discord. 

https://discord.gg/QgFZ4Hy


In the Kingdom of Agrierd, where the art of magic was banned, a hopeless sorceress accidentally picked up the Destiny Stone.

Every men and women, when they turned sixteen, was given a chance to pursue their life quest and fulfill their purpose in life. 

Those who accomplished their life quest will be rewarded and blessed by the Goddess of Destiny. Those who stray away from their purpose will be punished by the Guardian of the Quest who comes knocking on the window at midnight. 

Mia traveled throughout the Kingdom of Agrierd to finish her quest bestowed by the Goddess of Destiny. 

Will Mia accomplished her life quest or will she lived her life haunted by the Guardian of the Quest? 


I edit, re-edit, and re-edit and I gave up. Oh, well. I'll see where this story goes and decides later whether I should get a proofreader.

Do excuse my grammars, English is my third language and I left school some times ago. I had long forgot about most of the things I learned in classroom. 

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Mia Dendragon

Mia Dendragon

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
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Sii
Overall
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Story
Grammar
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This was a very interesting read. For me, the story is carried by the strength the MC and her whacky, zany personality. The comedy doesn't feel overwrought or forced, it feels natural and genuinely had me laughing. While I'm not far enough along to have any real opinion on a plot, what we do have feels like a reconstruction of old fairy tales. The master wizard, who happens to only be 26, and his goofy apprentice get into some fun Joni is early on and I think that's a really fun dynamic to establish early on. 

 

The absolute strongest part of this story is the strong characterizations of the few characters that have been introduced. Mia is a character and she's extremely funny. She feels unhinged, and I think this is done purposefully, and I'm pretty sure she's not completely all there. But that works in her advantage. How many people would be anywhere near normal if they grew up under the tutelage of a weird, incredibly vain sorcerer? Edgar is a hoot but he shows he actually cares about Mia and his weirdness has some justification. And the most normal Character in the weird household happens to be a talking cat who provides so much needed gravity to the story. The story and world building is sparse early on so I'll update that score down the line as it was more, but there are enough hints at a larger, more nuanced plot to hook the more plot oriented readers.

 

The weakest aspect for me was the execution. From a grammatical standpoint, there are many mistakes that hinder the reading experience. Missing words, misused words, repeated, redundant, lacking sentence structure. Basic writing concepts that need to be paid attention to to help the reader fully enjoy the underlying story. I'd understand if it was a deliberate choice to help communicate the chaotic world of Mia and Edgar, but I don't think that's the case. And it's perfectly fine as writing is a craft where a writer should be constantly learning and looking for ways to improve their ability. There are also instances of jarring head hopping that break the immersion and confused me as a reader. But these are all things that can be improved upon with concerted effort. 

Overall, I found the comedy and characters to be very compelling. I'm envious of the authors ability to infuse their humor into their writing and absolutely enjoyed it. While the execution was lacking, I'm of the camp that believes everyone can improve as a writer. There is already a good, very fun foundation in place. All that needs to be worked on is tightening the execution so that it truly shines for the gem it could be. 

John Fong
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This is a tale spun around a girl named Mia. She is a perky girl with lots of personality, and is genuinely one of the most endearing protagonists I've seen carousing through various tales on this site. At the moment, there is only the beginning of her tale posted, a start already practically dripping with atmosphere and light-hearted awe.

However, here's where the but comes in. This fic needs a lot of work. Although the grammar isn't atrocious, it gets kinda hard to read at points. Lots of tense slippages, misapplication, wrong tense for words. 

But honestly? This fic is a piece of unworked gold that might need a lot of hammering out. I see the start of something excellent here, so keep it up!

TheFishstick
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Lovely story about a disastrous girl trying to be a sorceress

Reviewed at: 007: The Sorceress in the Griffinfall Town

This story features classical magic with wands, spells and magical books. However, it uses these classical tropes and applies them in quite a distinctive manner. There is a talking cat, bewitched dishes, and a very cute monster that only wants to hide under it's bed.

The protagonist, a 16 year-old apprentice is very endearing to read about. She spreads destruction whereever she goes and whatever she does while simultanously trying to evade her master's rage.

The grammar however needs some work, but otherwise the story is definetely worth to be read. Give it a shot!

TheAbsoluteOne
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A Lively Story with a Nice Environment, But It Still Has Room To Grow

Reviewed at: 006: Dragon Ball

The story is very lively with a very nice environment and interesting settings.

Style:

The writing style is quite good, enjoyable, and refreshing.

Story:

The story has been funny and interesting. Good for reading when in a light mood.

Grammar: Grammar is an issue here. There are quite a few mistakes, especially tense mistakes and in some places, uses of the wrong form of the verb were present. This can be seen even in the synopsis/summary where there were mistakes like "Will Mia Accomplished" and "Will she lived" which were supposed to be "Will Mia accomplish" and "Will she live". Similar mistakes are seen throughout the story. Although, these mistakes don't hamper the reading unless the reader is too picky when it comes to grammatical accuracy. I will suggest using the Grammarly app for writing, it helps to sort out these kinds of mistakes. 

Character:

The characters were the best thing about this story, very lively and close to the heart.

Overall, I'd like to say that this is still a new novel and only a few chapters have been published. There is a long journey ahead and it has room to grow, I believe which it will do as the novel progresses. 

MrBadWithNames
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

"Quests are not for sorceress" is a funny story following Mia, a wizard's apprentice in a world where sorcerers and sorceresses are killed for practicing magic.

Style - The story is well paced and icorperates some of the better humor I've seen on RoyalRoad.

There is a fair amount of descriptive writing at play in the story painting a vivid image of the scene, everything is written nicely except for the occasional repetition where a word will be re-used 2/3 times per sentence, it's not a big issue but I was just something I noticed.

 

Grammar - 5/5, I haven't seen any definiteive mistakes, a few times I got confused like when the author wrote that "Orc" as the plural, but I assume it's like a "two sheep" not "sheeps" y'know.

 

Story - 5/5, the story so far it pretty funny and really picks up after a certain even that takes place during Edgar's absence, I won't spoinl any detail.

 

Characters - 5/5; I really like the characters, as for my favourite I'm split between the cat and Edgar. The MC is likable too thought personally I didn't find the bed monster too endearing, I mean it's not like I dislike it or anything.

In conclusion I definitely think you should give this story a read! It's funny, has some interesting world building and the author used "Cheerio" several times which is a major plus for me.

 

Ankur_93
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This story is what I imagine would happen if we were to dive into a child's imagination when he thinks of magic. It has that sense of wonder, that amazement, that sense of mystery, that joy that MAGIC, that simply magic lacks. Its MAGIC.
The MC is all over the place, yet consistent. And the other characters are not just characters that one could just find in other novels. They are part of the MAGIC.
Grammar is wonderful and although there is not much story so far, the plots have started to make appearances and its exciting. Looks great and seems to have a bright future!

Koths
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Mia is a former street urchin who gets picked up by Edgar, a charming and powerful magician. They're dynamic, along with the rest of their household is really the driving force of the story. The world Mia lives in is magical with talking cats and her very own 'Casper the friendly ghost'. While we have not really seen all that much of the plot, what the author has set up so far spins a tale of incredible adventures and lots of humour. I would hapily recommend this story as an entertaining and enjoyable read.

Style

I greatly enjoy the author's descriptions and the environment she paints around Mia. However, occasionally the reader must fend for themselves when it comes to her surroundings as the author can tend to change scene without much exposition.

That said, Mia world is exciting and filled with life. The descriptions go far beyond simply stating what is, instead the author is able to really express the tone of the world as well.

I do have some gripes about structure. Chapters tend to start and end without warning and although the author has refrained from multiple info dumps - the only information we learn as readers about the world (other than the characters themselves) is an extract from a scroll that Mia seemingly remembers by rote.

Grammar

There are the occasional grammatical errors. Usually just a mispelt word or two. However, a clear effort to proofread is clearly being made and the rare mistakes don't detract from the story.

That said, the word 'continence' instead of 'continent' is still confusing me. XD

Character

As I mentioned before, the characters are the driving force of the story. The interactions the author describes between Mia and her family are great fun. A distinct effort to characterize and stay consitent to a character is made throughout the story and it shows. The characters feel life-like and cohesive.

Story

I'm reluctant to comment on the story as there isn't much of it for the nine parts. What the author has hinted to would probably be considered spoiler material. That being said, the story is certainly set up to make an interesting tale. I'm curious to see where the author is going with it.

Aziel
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The premise is decent and the interaction Mia has with Edgar was honestly the most fascinating aspect of the story for me. Mia sort of gives me cinderella vibes which is nice. If you guys like magic and humble beginnings then it's worth checking out.

I will say that the grammar was a little rough in some parts. If the author's first language isn't english then I can understand. Overall I say it's worth checking out.

Lumi.Lumiere
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Must read if you're a fan of magic and fantasy

Reviewed at: 002: Quests are not for sorceress

Its a fast pace story that revolves around Mia and her friends. Its funny and endearing, no OP MC here. She sound too hopeless but I'm looking forward for her growth. Writing style are great and not much noticeable grammar error. I'm looking forward for more chapters and adventure.

 

Totally worth your time reading! 

TaxReligion
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This story reminded me of Howl's Moving Castle, at least when it comes to the sorcerer's lodgings.  It was filled with all sorts of quirky and imaginative details.  The story is just getting started, but it seems like it will be interesting.  How magic works in the story so far is vague, but I think that suits the cute and clumsy style the story is going for.

For grammar, this story could definitely use an edit. There are changes in tenses and improper pluralization that did impact my reading.

Characters:  it's hard to judge the characters this early into a story, but they seem to be distinct and each acts a certain way.

So far, it's a fun read.  I particularly recommend this story if you liked Howl's Moving Castle.