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Years ago, Earth was indoctrinated into the "System."
Earth was not the only place with the System, however. With the System came the other races, Invaders. The Invaders had one goal, to obtain ownership of this new habitable planet. This created a bloodbath, and for years the war raged.
This didn't really have much to do with Derek. Derek was kind of a loner. Yeah, he enjoyed the occasional chat or drink with others, but he never stayed in one place too long or really got to know anybody new.
Derek did happen to be rather strong. After the years of fighting monster and Invaders alone, he had become quite adept at surviving. One thing that helped keep him alive was his refusal to get involved with others. He rarely cooperated with teams.
One day, Derek broke his rules and decided to lend some help, as the mission didn't seem too hard. He should have stuck to being alone.
Hey everyone, this is my fiction, "System Change." It's the first time I've really tried to write a serial. All feedback is really appreciated.
I plan to release chapters every Tuesday and Thursday. With occasional extra chapters being released.
I will try to maintain a word count between 1500-2500 words per chapter.
I just made a Discord if anyone wants to join.
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Starts off with him exploring the new world and its system intricacies. Basic litrpg stuff, but that's what I like about litrpgs.
However... several dozen chapters in, started going round in circles. Similar plot points occuring in one chapter previously now get dragged on for a dozen chapters.
Things are also making less sense as it goes along.
Started off kind of interesting, but has gradually devolved into a standard MC power fantasy. And the more OP he gets, the worse his attitude (super arrogant, kills low level guards who literally can't even scratch him because they got hired by wrong guy).
There's no real payoff on the unique elements that got me into it in the first place (the multiple systems, what the void is, etc.). I wouldn't waste your time honestly. I've only kept reading in vain hopes that the author would turn it around, but think I'll finally drop it.
Our MC Derek gets tossed from one System to another and starts off OP. Rather than be a warlord, he's more interested in finding more coffee and comfort. An amusing take on a tired adventurer discovering a fresh new world.
This one is on my 'Follow' list and it is very easy to binge. The main character is competent, tries to help, and finds himself drawn into situations I enjoy reading about.
Story is interesting, i gave 5/5 as first vote, but sadly by chapter 109, I changed my vote to 3/5, because second half of story is merely worth 1/5. If author posted 7 chapters per week I'd understand chapters content, but since he posts 2 chapters, and those chapters are worthless, just waste of time. Zero story progress, zero content, just meaningless fillers. Chapters full of NOTHING, whole chapter can be summed up in single sentence and you could perfectly understand next chapters. Because nothing happens in chapter.
I'll give a story several chapters, but I don't believe that story will progress an inch during that time. I lost hope in this story.
mc describes as lone wolf, which have ton of titles for being alone. Then suddenly became most social person ever.
Yeah i understand he spent so long time in void, but when he became carrying villagers in dungeons and scatter around precious potions then it hit me. Mc isnt the person who he taught about himself. It became little 2d when narrator describes him as "A" then he describes himself as "B" but all i can see is a "C"
this was a downpoint for me. Additionally side characters are 2d either and there is no interesting plot so far.
These are my critics, but im not bored so i might re-do my review. So far it is.
Edit: Its been hundredish chapters but nothing happening so far, i dropping this one right now. Every chapter is about meaningless situations and its going nowhere. If i have to wait for significant developments for fiction, i have had to wait for a hundred chapters more, it doesn't worth it.
In a sea of system apocalypse novels, this one fails to stand out. The MC starts with 200x the power of a starting human when he is shunted into this system and is handed even more power immediately with no work or struggle on his part. The MC is introduced as a lone wolf mercenary who will work with other people for pay, but will not settle down or defend humanity as a whole. By chapter 4 he has functionally adopted and started to mentor an orphan and then he starts to save the orphan's village too. The other characters are bland and lack any defining characteristics besides being amazed at the MC's strength and shocked that the MC doesn't revere the system.
The only part of the story with potential is different universes having different systems and warring with each other for primacy. I'd love to see that concept further developed, but in the first 48 chapters it is only addressed a few times.
The idea is good but one thing I don't like is how the story at first puts emphasis on how the MC was a loner but then he just goes to the village, saves everyone, and then even helps them a lot as if he was an isekai MC. Like he was talking to Thomass about not being a hero and then he goes and does the opposite of the advice he gave. I find it unrealistic.
Also, Thomass sounds older than a 12-year-old in the dialog. Less is more sometimes.
My read was pretty refreshing, the story is really interesting and I just stopped reading to eat and sleep.
The mc is OP but the fights are still really interesting and entertaining. But the thing that interested me the most is how the mc is portrayed, unlike some stories where op mcs just become dumb or do stupid things here we have a mc that is sure of himself and sure of what he wishes to do without being overbearing or too proud and that gives the story some really good slice of life vibe that really make the story specially interesting because of it. Also the story pre-system change sounds really interesting and it would be really nice to know more about and the mc did before falling into the void. Thanks for writing !
Wanted to give it out a try, considering it got into trending, but its honestly a surpise for me for how it got there.
Premise seemed interesting. Instead of having started from the beginning of the system arriving to Earth, the M.C. has already experienced much of it and has grown to a considerably high level, I imagine. I imagine because we arent given any reference poinnts to the contrary. Were the other people just as strong? Was he one of a kind? How did he measure, class-wise, with other people?
Its a mystery, and one that we'll probably never know or get some information, considering the M.C. kept to himself.
Conversations feel stilted, and there's times when less is more that is not taken into account. There's also to consider the continuous shift in points of view between characters whether one after another or even in the same paragraph.
For the 18 chapters read, very little actually happened and most of the chapters have the Status page take a large amount of space in the chapter inflating it.
Thomas, the boy, doesnt feel like a boy. In the first chapters he's introduced i felt confusion, not knowing if he was really a boy or someone older as the character acted one way in one sentence, and then one way the next a paragraph down. While i understand the author wanted to use the kid to inform the readers of the world, i think that giving his voice dialogue a different tone would have sold me better. Instead, the boy being 12, i felt as if an older teenager or even a young well informed adult was talking to the M.C.
Chapters definitevely need to be reviewed or even edited to look and read bettter.
In the end its not a bad story, just needs more thought put into it.
The are story points that have been taken, they appear to solve any ongoing money issue. They also give a decent taste for how high level/power individuals operate in the world. This makes some good world building, as long as it does not later become a crutch. So far it has really just given life to a side of the story that gets glossed over. It is looking good!
Character grow is seeming to be very organic Still. The actions taken really feel like they fall into actual personalities, making things that happen in the story make sense based on ages, relations, and various other factors.
A smooth pace, that has a light hearted theme to concepts that could easily be brooding and negative.
The MC is a nice reflection on what it is to be human. Even as a super powerful person he remains true to himself in his choices on the path he set for himself. The most impressive trait I find is that even with great power he shows the sublties of emotion through action by not taking the path of 'Might equals Right'.
MCs actions are more in line with Teaching, not looking away from what is. Accepting the things that have happened and pushing forward to change what you do not like, instead of cowering with fear. Encouraging people to live and strive for the positive and not the negative.
Though I enjoy the actions and situations presented as more twists of fate than forced plot points and they make me feel like they are more of a fun thing that overrides the negative undertones that exist and an encouragement to emulate that in real life.