System Change

System Change

by SunriseCV

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Years ago, Earth was indoctrinated into the "System."

Earth was not the only place with the System, however. With the System came the other races, Invaders. The Invaders had one goal, to obtain ownership of this new habitable planet. This created a bloodbath, and for years the war raged.

This didn't really have much to do with Derek. Derek was kind of a loner. Yeah, he enjoyed the occasional chat or drink with others, but he never stayed in one place too long or really got to know anybody new.

Derek did happen to be rather strong. After the years of fighting monster and Invaders alone, he had become quite adept at surviving. One thing that helped keep him alive was his refusal to get involved with others. He rarely cooperated with teams.

One day, Derek broke his rules and decided to lend some help, as the mission didn't seem too hard. He should have stuck to being alone.


Hey everyone, this is my fiction, "System Change." It's the first time I've really tried to write a serial. All feedback is really appreciated. 

I plan to release chapters every Tuesday and Thursday. With occasional extra chapters being released. 

I will try to maintain a word count between 1500-2500 words per chapter.

Thank you!

I just made a Discord if anyone wants to join. 

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SunriseCV

SunriseCV

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Table of Contents
206 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1: Into the Portal ago
Chapter 2: Into the Void ago
Chapter 3: The Kind Stranger ago
Chapter 4: Thomas ago
Chapter 5: Awake ago
Chapter 6: Unlocking the System ago
Chapter 7: Skills ago
Chapter 8: A Close Shave ago
Chapter 9: Through the Forest ago
Chapter 10: Escape ago
Chapter 11: Become an Asshole ago
Chapter 12: Bloody Village ago
Chapter 13: Level Up ago
Chapter 14: Choosing a Class ago
Chapter 15: Champion of the Void ago
Chapter 16: Void Call ago
Chapter 17: Battle ago
Chapter 18: Strength of the Void ago
Chapter 19: After the Battle ago
Chapter 20: Regroup ago
Chapter 21: Home ago
Chapter 22: Meeting ago
Chapter 23: The Problem ago
Chapter 24: Anomaly ago
Chapter 25: At the Edge ago
Chapter 26: Legendary Beast ago
Chapter 27: Growth ago
Chapter 28: Dungeon ago
Chapter 29: Accident ago
Chapter 30: Return ago
Chapter 31: Gifts ago
Chapter 32: A Day in the Village ago
Chapter 33: The Next Day ago
Chapter 34: Meeting ago
Chapter 35: Training ago
Chapter 36: Leaving ago
Chapter 37: To the Dungeon ago
Chapter 38: In the Dungeon ago
Chapter 39: Dungeon Run ago
Chapter 40: Afterwards ago
Chapter 41: Cleanup ago
Chapter 42: What to Do ago
Chapter 43: Follow Me ago
Chapter 44: Hand Feeding ago
Chapter 45: Like Clockwork ago
Chapter 46: Complete ago
Chapter 47: Rewards ago
Chapter 48: Stat Time ago
Chapter 49: To the Undying Dungeon ago
Chapter 50: Undying Dungeon: Begin ago
Chapter 51: More Skills ago
Chapter 52: Ghouls! ago
Chapter 53: The Plan ago
Chapter 54: I've Created a Monster ago
Chapter 55: It's Time ago
Chapter 56: Here We Go ago
Chapter 57: Investigate ago
Chapter 58: I Choose You! ago
Chapter 59: Who's That Pok...? ago
Chapter 60: Remember ago
Chapter 61: Last Day in the Village ago
Chapter 62: Goodbye ago
Chapter 63: To the City ago
Chapter 64: Interlude/Anomaly II ago
Chapter 65: Torith ago
Chapter 66: The Crown ago
Chapter 67: More Business ago
Chapter 68: Negotiations ago
Chapter 69: Enigma ago
Chapter 70: Gracefall Manor ago
Chapter 71: Walter Gracefall ago
Chapter 72: Dinner Prep ago
Chapter 73: Dinner with Walter ago
Chapter 74: Discussion ago
Chapter 75: About a Girl ago
Chapter 76: Thanks for the Meal ago
Chapter 77: Who's the Boss? ago
Chapter 78: Plans ago
Chapter 79: Room and Board ago
Chapter 80: Adventurer's Guild ago
Chapter 81: Missions ago
Chapter 82: Hunting ago
Chapter 83: A Nice, Calm Chat ago
Chapter 84: Attack ago
Chapter 85: Becoming Official ago
Chapter 86: Back to the Crown ago
Chapter 87: Crown Membership ago
Chapter 88: The True Value of Void Beasts ago
Chapter 89: Alanah ago
Chapter 90: Value ago
Chapter 91: Price ago
Chapter 92: Chatting with Alanah ago
Chapter 93: Getting a Membership ago
Chapter 94: Inncoming ago
Chapter 95: Silvi's Reward ago
Chapter 96: Mission Probable ago
Chapter 97: Silvi's First Day ago
Chapter 98: They Grow Up so Fast ago
Chapter 99: Intense Battle in the Kitchen ago
Chapter 100: Clare ago
Chapter 101: Clare II ago
Chapter 102: Fine Dining ago
Chapter 103: Days Gone By ago
Chapter 104: Hunting Zone ago
Chapter 105: Attack! ago
Chapter 106: Just One More ago
Chapter 107: Mr. Hunt ago
Chapter 108: City Lord ago
Chapter 109: Heart to Heart ago
Chapter 110: King? ago
Chapter 111: Confrontation ago
Chapter 112: Zachary and Lucas ago
Chapter 113: Derek, Dear... ago
Chapter 114: Gerald ago
Chapter 115: Preparing to Leave ago
Chapter 116: Fury ago
Chapter 117: Race Against Time ago
Chapter 118: First Time Meeting Katrisha ago
Chapter 119: *Spoiler* ago
Chapter 120: The Show is Over ago
Chapter 121: Oathbreaker ago
Chapter 122: Contracts ago
Chapter 123: Rudy ago
Chapter 124: See You in a Bit ago
Chapter 125: Undying Again ago
Chapter 126: Level 100 ago
Chapter 127: Skill Testing ago
Chapter 128: Let's Go for a Hunt ago
Chapter 129: Carnage ago
Chapter 130: Captain Herrett ago
Chapter 131: Your Turn ago
Chapter 132: Auras ago
Chapter 133: It's Time ago
Chapter 134: Cell #003 ago
Chapter 135: Spreading Word ago
Chapter 136: Natalie ago
Chapter 137: Leaving ago
Chapter 138: Ambush? ago
Chapter 139: Bones and Ogre ago
Chapter 140: I Won ago
Chapter 141: Wilmette ago
Chapter 142: Arriving at Savannah ago
Chapter 143: Crown Hotel ago
Chapter 144: Property ago
Chapter 145: Lot 33,801 ago
Chapter 146: The Dwarven Smith ago
Chapter 147: Have a Nice Day ago
Chapter 148: Getting Paid ago
Chapter 149: The Bank of Savannah ago
Chapter 150: Thomas was Alone ago
Chapter 151: Shae ago
Chapter 152: Ranking Up ago
Chapter 153: Meeting Shae ago
Chapter 154: Spar ago
Chapter 155: It's My Turn ago
Chapter 156: Onyx ago
Chapter 157: Roman ago
Chapter 158: The Brew ago
Chapter 159: Fast Friends ago
Chapter 160: Debriefing ago
Chapter 161: A New Day ago
Chapter 162: Materials ago
Chapter 163: The Contractors ago
Chapter 164: Bidding War ago
Chapter 165: Sealing the Deal ago
Chapter 166: Roman's Potions and Brews ago
Chapter 167: Lesson ago
Chapter 168: Potion Testing ago
Chapter 169: Potion Testing II ago
Chapter 170: Potion of Physical Permanence ago
Chapter 171: Training Rayna ago
Chapter 172: Apes ago
Chapter 173: Under Construction ago
Chapter 174: Tour ago
Chapter 175: King Edwin ago
Chapter 176: Royal Audience ago
Chapter 177: New Home ago
Chapter 178: Can I Help You? ago
Chapter 179: Jake and Edgar ago
Chapter 180: Attackers ago
Chapter 181: Somewhat of a Prince ago
Chapter 182: Father/Son Reunion ago
Chapter 183: Zephyr's Fury ago
Chapter 184: Preparations ago
Chapter 185: Final Preparations ago
Chapter 186: News from the Crown Prince ago
Chapter 187: Golem Dungeon ago
Chapter 188: Next Area ago
Chapter 189: Third Area ago
Chapter 190: Earth Golem ago
Chapter 191: Boss Room ago
Chapter 192: Start of Training ago
Chapter 193: Crown's Decision ago
Chapter 194: Edgar’s Dilemma ago
Chapter 195: Edgar's Ability ago
Chapter 196: Level Up ago
Chapter 197: Breakthrough ago
Chapter 198: Void Call ago
Chapter 199: Void Farm ago
Chapter 200: More Questions than Answers ago
Chapter 201: Edgar's Breakthrough ago
Chapter 202: Going Home ago
Chapter 203: Maniac ago
Chapter 204: Suite ago
Chapter 205: First Meeting ago
Chapter 206: Presentation ago

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Reviews
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frenzy85
Overall

Starts off with him exploring the new world and its system intricacies. Basic litrpg stuff, but that's what I like about litrpgs.

However... several dozen chapters in, started going round in circles. Similar plot points occuring in one chapter previously now get dragged on  for a dozen chapters.

Things are also making less sense as it goes along.

nehinks
Overall

Started off kind of interesting, but has gradually devolved into a standard MC power fantasy.  And the more OP he gets, the worse his attitude (super arrogant, kills low level guards who literally can't even scratch him because they got hired by wrong guy). 

There's no real payoff on the unique elements that got me into it in the first place (the multiple systems, what the void is, etc.).  I wouldn't waste your time honestly.  I've only kept reading in vain hopes that the author would turn it around, but think I'll finally drop it.

DrAlt
Overall

Exploration focused Lit-RPG

Reviewed at: Chapter 90: Value

Our MC Derek gets tossed from one System to another and starts off OP.  Rather than be a warlord, he's more interested in finding more coffee and comfort.  An amusing take on a tired adventurer discovering a fresh new world.  

This one is on my 'Follow' list and it is very easy to binge.  The main character is competent, tries to help, and finds himself drawn into situations I enjoy reading about.

Impulse
Overall

Interesting start, followed by worthless filler.

Reviewed at: Chapter 115: Preparing to Leave

Story is interesting, i gave 5/5 as first vote, but sadly by chapter 109, I changed my vote to 3/5, because second half of story is merely worth 1/5. If author posted 7 chapters per week I'd understand chapters content, but since he posts 2 chapters, and those chapters are worthless, just waste of time. Zero story progress, zero content, just meaningless fillers. Chapters full of NOTHING, whole chapter can be summed up in single sentence and you could perfectly understand next chapters. Because nothing happens in chapter.

I'll give a story several chapters, but I don't believe that story will progress an inch during that time. I lost hope in this story.

alcelaphinae
Overall

mc describes as lone wolf, which have ton of titles for being alone. Then suddenly became most social person ever.

Yeah i understand he spent so long time in void, but when he became carrying villagers in dungeons and scatter around precious potions then it hit me. Mc isnt the person who he taught about himself. It became little 2d when narrator describes him as "A" then he describes himself as "B" but all i can see is a "C"

this was a downpoint for me. Additionally side characters are 2d either and there is no interesting plot so far.

These are my critics, but im not bored so i might re-do my review. So far it is.

 

Edit: Its been hundredish chapters but nothing happening so far, i dropping this one right now. Every chapter is about meaningless situations and its going nowhere. If i have to wait for significant developments for fiction, i have had to wait for a hundred chapters more, it doesn't worth it.

kingcaloob
Overall

Another OP protagonist in a system world

Reviewed at: Chapter 48: Stat Time

In a sea of system apocalypse novels, this one fails to stand out. The MC starts with 200x the power of a starting human when he is shunted into this system and is handed even more power immediately with no work or struggle on his part. The MC is introduced as a lone wolf mercenary who will work with other people for pay, but will not settle down or defend humanity as a whole. By chapter 4 he has functionally adopted and started to mentor an orphan and then he starts to save the orphan's village too. The other characters are bland and lack any defining characteristics besides being amazed at the MC's strength and shocked that the MC doesn't revere the system. 

The only part of the story with potential is different universes having different systems and warring with each other for primacy. I'd love to see that concept further developed, but in the first 48 chapters it is only addressed a few times.

danlin
Overall

it is okay... but POV and dialog is weird

Reviewed at: Chapter 18: Strength of the Void

The idea is good but one thing I don't like is how the story at first puts emphasis on how the MC was a loner but then he just goes to the village, saves everyone, and then even helps them a lot as if he was an isekai MC. Like he was talking to Thomass about not being a hero and then he goes and does the opposite of the advice he gave. I find it unrealistic.

Also, Thomass sounds older than a 12-year-old in the dialog. Less is more sometimes.

Yohao
Overall

Interesting story and characters

Reviewed at: Chapter 141: Wilmette

My read was pretty refreshing, the story is really interesting and I just stopped reading to eat and sleep.

The mc is OP but the fights are still really interesting and entertaining. But the thing that interested me the most is how the mc is portrayed, unlike some stories where op mcs just become dumb or do stupid things here we have a mc that is sure of himself and sure of what he wishes to do without being overbearing or too proud and that gives the story some really good slice of life vibe that really make the story specially interesting because of it. Also the story pre-system change sounds really interesting and it would be really nice to know more about and the mc did before falling into the void. Thanks for writing !

KingOuma
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Wanted to give it out a try, considering it got into trending, but its honestly a surpise for me for how it got there.

Premise seemed interesting. Instead of having started from the beginning of the system arriving to Earth, the M.C. has already experienced much of it and has grown to a considerably high level, I imagine. I imagine because we arent given any reference poinnts to the contrary. Were the other people just as strong? Was he one of a kind? How did he measure, class-wise, with other people? 

Its a mystery, and one that we'll probably never know or get some information, considering the M.C. kept to himself.

Conversations feel stilted, and there's times when less is more that is not taken into account. There's also to consider the continuous shift in points of view between characters whether one after another or even in the same paragraph.

For the 18 chapters read, very little actually happened and most of the chapters have the Status page take a large amount of space in the chapter inflating it.

Thomas, the boy, doesnt feel like a boy. In the first chapters he's introduced i felt confusion, not knowing if he was really a boy or someone older as the character acted one way in one sentence, and then one way the next a paragraph down. While i understand the author wanted to use the kid to inform the readers of the world, i think that giving his voice dialogue a different tone would have sold me better. Instead, the boy being 12, i felt as if an older teenager or even a young well informed adult was talking to the M.C.

Chapters definitevely need to be reviewed or even edited to look and read bettter.

In the end its not a bad story, just needs more thought put into it.

Noissar
Overall

I just really enjoy this read.

Reviewed at: Chapter 105: Attack!

Post CH57

The are story points that have been taken, they appear to solve any ongoing money issue. They also give a decent taste for how high level/power individuals operate in the world. This makes some good world building, as long as it does not later become a crutch. So far it has really just given life to a side of the story that gets glossed over. It is looking good!

Character grow is seeming to be very organic Still. The actions taken really feel like they fall into actual personalities, making things that happen in the story make sense based on ages, relations, and various other factors.

Pre CH.57

A smooth pace, that has a light hearted theme to concepts that could easily be brooding and negative.

The MC is a nice reflection on what it is to be human. Even as a super powerful person he remains true to himself in his choices on the path he set for himself. The most impressive trait I find is that even with great power he shows the sublties of emotion through action by not taking the path of 'Might equals Right'. 

 

MCs actions are more in line with Teaching, not looking away from what is. Accepting the things that have happened and pushing forward to change what you do not like, instead of cowering with fear. Encouraging people to live and strive for the positive and not the negative.

Though I enjoy the actions and situations presented as more twists of fate than forced plot points and they make me feel like they are more of a fun thing that overrides the negative undertones that exist and an encouragement to emulate that in real life.