System Change

by SunriseCV

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Comedy Fantasy GameLit LitRPG Magic Portal Fantasy / Isekai Post Apocalyptic
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Years ago, Earth was indoctrinated into the "System."

Earth was not the only place with the System, however. With the System came the other races, Invaders. The Invaders had one goal, to obtain ownership of this new habitable planet. This created a bloodbath, and for years the war raged.

This didn't really have much to do with Derek. Derek was kind of a loner. Yeah, he enjoyed the occasional chat or drink with others, but he never stayed in one place too long or really got to know anybody new.

Derek did happen to be rather strong. After the years of fighting monster and Invaders alone, he had become quite adept at surviving. One thing that helped keep him alive was his refusal to get involved with others. He rarely cooperated with teams.

One day, Derek broke his rules and decided to lend some help, as the mission didn't seem too hard. He should have stuck to being alone.


Hey everyone, this is my fiction, "System Change." It's the first time I've really tried to write a serial. All feedback is really appreciated. 

I plan to release chapters every Tuesday and Thursday. With occasional extra chapters being released. 

I will try to maintain a word count between 1500-2500 words per chapter.

Thank you!

I just made a Discord if anyone wants to join. 

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SunriseCV

SunriseCV

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Half Life
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

System Change is one LitRPG converting to another LitRPG, while also appearing to go from one genre to another genre. So far, most of the story is concerned about systems and stats. However, the MC starts the story already built up into an OP soloist possessing late game stats, and things progress from there.

In some ways, this reminds me of a weird cross between One Punch Man and Mad Max circa Thunderdome. That is to say, the MC is much more capable than almost anything he has come across so far, usually resolving threats with almost no effort. However, the Portal Fantasy element seems to have placed him in either a post-apocalyptic far-future Earth or an unrelated run-down fantasy world. There are some allusions that the portal fantasy element is conscious, which could lead to some interesting developments.

The writing is a clear and polished novel style. I've only noticed a few minor errors (homophones mostly), and the grammar is fairly strong.

There are 14 chapters available right now, so the supporting characters and world-building are still in development. For now, the main attraction is the interplay between systems. I mean, it is right there in the title. So, if you love your LitRPG hardcore, with lots of thinking and talking about systems and stats, featuring OP characters, then this is a good start.

UYScuti
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The title of the story is a standalone one-liner you would pitch to an agent or publisher. You have a strong MC going into a new system. Which, I'm not sure I've read anywhere else. The story is in its foundational stage, but it's building a solid base so far. You get a rough idea of what to expect of the world, and now it comes down to how the MC will throw it into chaos. I always find that fun to find out, and I'm sure the author will create waves.

Style score: The author delivers what's important without creating sentence after sentence of useless information. So there isn't a sense of bloat that bogs a lot of stories. The story is mostly third-person limited, but at times it is omniscient as well.

Grammar: This always comes down to readability for me. I'm not an expert on grammar. There are a lot of novels that I have a hard time finishing the first chapter. Not because they're bad stories, but because I have a hard time figuring out what they're trying to say. You won't have that problem here. The chapters are pretty polished, so the author has spent time editing out errors.

Story: It's a LitRPG, so you know there is going to be fighting and leveling. It comes down to what happens in between. This story has a different beginning, and the MC is thrust into a large, potentially kingdom destroying situation right away. There's no time to grind away, so chapters of gaining +1 str haven't appeared. I'd expect it will continue that way, which is far more interesting to me.

Character: We have two characters of not up to this point. The MC and a potential sidekick? I was not too fond of the MC in the first chapter. He gave off a lazy vibe that doesn't drive the story, but that changes soon after. It's like a kid that's grown tired of the old toy, and now he's found something new and exciting. The MC changed from "the world does stuff, and I'm in it" to "there is a world, and I'm going to do stuff to it" quickly. So that is a major plus in my mind. 

In the end, it comes down to, do you like LitRPG? If you answered yes, then you should read this. It's fun to read and shows a lot of potential. I thoroughly recommend it. 

edwardcastle
Overall

I like very much how the story started, the novel premise of a guy from a system going to another one by accident.

Up to chapter 9, everything is flowing well.

Slightly crazy OP-ish character finding out about where the hell he is, and probably how to go back to Earth.

MintyMintyMilkTea
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Enjoyable read so far. True to its name, System Change involves the MC changing from one game-like system to another system. So far it's well-written and well thought out. The first chapter starts with a post-apocalyptic game system vibe, but then we switch into an isekai feeling story with villages and nobles.

I'm interested to see where this story will go. No major style or grammar issues so far. A few paragraphs could be split up more in my opinion but in general, everything is formatted well.  

It looks like the author has put a lot of thought into the leveling and exp system which is fun to see. The wall of stats and titles in the first chapter was a little intimidating, and honestly I didn't read them at first. But the following chapters made me want to go back and read it. All the class descriptions and skill explanations have also been fun to read and think about.

I always have mixed feelings about OP characters, they can be fun to read at first but they can get boring quickly. It can be difficult to write compelling character growth and arcs if they've already reached the top. Of course, it can be done. I think this story has the potential to remain interesting with the new system to figure out and maybe stronger adversaries. 

The MC's personality is fleshed out and his character stays consistent. I'm enjoying his carefree yet annoyed attitude. The secondary characters could use more depth.  So far the people we have met in the second system world are a little stereotypical, but I think this might change as the story goes on and we learn more. 

Great start. Looking forward to more!

Umbersteel
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

So the MC is a bit dark but with a heart, the story is entertaining and just different enough to be engaging.  I would personally like to see the full lists but shortened lists does so to be better for the flow of the story. Like the title of this review so far so good. Keep up the good work. 

If you like OP MC with a bit of defending the helpless while crushing the bad guys you will like this.

I'm hoping the MC gets past these easier setups into action fairly soon, but I understand that the author needs to do some world building in these earlier chapters. Normally I wouldn't post a review this early but I've enjoyed the story enough that even if it fades out later I've gotten something great in just the premise of this story and I am really looking forward to seeing how this plays out. 

I really hope in the later stages of this story we get to see the effects of two systems colliding and the enterplay of those effects on our MC. I would even enjoy him being an ever changing pinball tossed through the demensions going from system to system messing or righting worlds one after another.

Shadterra
Overall

This could become next popular novel 

 

(words go b r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r)

Felipe Diaz
Overall

A new take in the genre that is interesting and engaging. The idea that the systems aren't omnipotent and have limits and him breaking those is novel idea. Well thought out world building and characters have depth. This is my first review just because I want to make sure the author writes so much more of it

tiskey74
Overall

Not really into fiction, games, systems or stats but this has kept me intrigued.  I mean, how do you accidently get into another system?  The stats are little lengthy but overall a good read this far.  MC seems a little on the dark side until his heart takes charge.  I will definitely be following and working my way through chapter 14 as quickly as possible.  Anxiously awaiting each chapter.  A very good start.  Keep up the good work.