When Philosophers Cry – A Super Villainess Story

by CookieCabal

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

What happens when some people suddenly start developing supernatural powers?

Right, Belgian philosophers will take the lead and occupy Europe and the US, while representing the good guys, commanding the superheroes.

Does everyone agree on imposed moral values, guided by the so-called "reason"?

At least one teenager, a girl who hails from a family of superheroes, aspires to be a super villainess.

 

Mondays around 20:00 (UTC), ~ 2k words

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Author
CookieCabal

CookieCabal

Herald of the Cookie Goddess

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cerealsariel
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

First things first, this story is worth reading.  It's an ambitious take on the superhero genre with a very unique implementation of powers and interpretation of the world post-superpower.  If you are a fan of the genre, this is absolutely worth a read on those two points alone.  However, there are some significant flaws to be aware of.

 

Style: The author has a fairly unique way of writing.  They are a non-native English speaker according to comments so part of it is probably that, but the style can be an impediment at times.  Phrasing is sometimes off, and its common to run into sentences that technically make sense but for a native English speaker will seem incorrect.  This makes following actions scenes in particular difficult.  However, beyond the technical, phrasing is fine and the author is unafraid to develop a voice for the story.  The core of the prose is good and well developed.

 

Grammar:  This is tough to give a low score for because while it is poor grammar and syntax throughout, the authors is very good about fixing things brought up in the comments.  One of the things that I've enjoyed as I read the story is the clear progression and improvement from chapter to chapter in grammar.  Reading the latest chapters is like night and day to the earlier writing.  If those improvements continue, and if the backchapters are ever edited, this score will be too low. 

 

One thing I will mention is that the story is a little inconsistent in using present vs past tense.  Books should be written in past tense outside of a specific style choice on the part of the author, which doesn't seem to be the case here.  This can be a major reason things are hard to parse and probably ought to be a priority to fix.

 

Story:  This is probably the best thing here.  The take on superheroes is unique, the emphasis on philosophy as a component is interesting, and the setting is different.  The initial plot is clearly established very early in the story and the author is good about showing and not telling.  My only problem with the plot is that after the initial hook it seems to flounder.  This is a common struggle for authors on RR, they start with an interesting premise and fail to do much with it.  I like the ideas the author has going, but at this point they haven't really developed into coherent plotlines yet.  Perhaps this is just that we are still early in the story so I am going with an optimistic outlook for this point given how good the other parts of it have been.

 

Character:  I like the characters.  We have a lot of unique and interesting people, the only problem is that right now there are so many of them that keeping it all straight is tough and none of them have had enough screentime so far.  That said, it is early and I think more opportunities will appear as the story continues.  

 

Overall, this is a worthwhile read.  It isn't amazing, yet, but there is real potential and an ambitious plan in place.  If you like superheroes then read this story.  It might not be your thing and you might get tripped up on grammar or sytax but the core of this story is solid and worth sticking around for.

strand VV
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This is a superhero/villain story where the twist is the MC wants to be supervillian when she comes from a superhero family and how her desires for being a supervillain manifests.

Currently, action is the main grip of the story and it is shown beautifully. The story is still unfolding for its major plot but the MC will keep you until it is shown, currently it revolves about the MC and her backstory and her progressiom based on that backstory for her and then the difference in heros and villains. 


The current style of the story is fast faced but it has shown signs of it slowing down as the world gets shown to the reader. The descriptions of the fights were excellent I liked how I was able to imagine them. 

The characters have distinct differences from each other but I would love if emotional stakes were raised in the story, exploring more of the characters depth.

Marg_Naroth
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This story is about superpowers and mostly about supervillains. When the world changed, humans gained powers and this was a game changing for life on earth. The action scenes are as cool as the dialogues from the unique characters. Every persona of the characters are very remarkable.The descrition of the backgrounds are enough to make you feel inside the story world. There is some sense of danger as you accompany Lure and Sinn on their journey. This writer have great potential for improvement. Of course there are a couple of typos, but noyhing that can't change the experience of reading this fiction.