The Book of HUMILITY - Chapter FOUR


A note from ArDeeBurger

Half the fun of everything, you know, is thinking about it beforehand.

          - Uncle Wiggily's Storybook, Howard R. Garis (1921)

Hank greatly enjoyed the company of Anna and her friends. "What's good to eat here?" he asked.

"Oh, we ate already, when Peaches went for you." Sue Marie said, thinking Hank was talking to her. "But gee! Everything's good!"

Anna slapped Hank on the thigh, stinging him with her bangle bracelets. "Okay," she announced. "Let's go!"

She plucked her sunglasses from atop her head and started to slide from the booth. Fuji stopped her with a gentle hand on her wrist.

"We bought another pot of tea," Fuji reminded her. "And Hank-sama has scarcely had any. Now please, stay seated and have him tell us about his recent PEP Scan." To Hank, she said, "A little birdie told me you took your second test. So you are a Genius?"

Milton told Hank he was a Genius at Reality Making, but he doubted there was such a thing. He also remembered being told a person has to be true to one's self if they want their Realities to occur. And that meant Hank couldn't lie, because he knew he wasn't a liar.

"Well?" Fuji asked, regaining his attention. "Hank-sama? Are you a Genius?"

"I don't know. I might be. I kinda left without finding out."

Hank now had the rapt attention of the women at the table. Anna set down her sunglasses and Sue Marie sat still, at least for a moment. Fuji remained, as always, regal and magnificent, as her silk voice unfurled.

"You mean you didn't take the test? Your Dots do seem to have faded."

"Oh no. I took it. Well, at least I started to. Then I got up and left."

Anna had the amazing ability to look beautiful and sound incredulous at the same time. "You left?" she asked in disbelief. "Nobody just leaves a PEP Scan. You're strapped in the whole time!"

Sue Marie resumed bouncing when Anna said the words 'strapped in.' She sipped tea in an effort to control herself, perhaps thinking more caffeine might somehow calm her down.

"Well, I don't know," Hank stammered. I just, um… I left."

"And nobody stopped you," Anna stated more than asked.


Anna ended the conversation with a huff while drinking tea. Fuji took over, first placing a loving hand on Sue Marie to force her to sit still.

"Why did you leave?" Fuji asked.

"Well, I didn't like it. I felt, uh, like… it felt like I'd been taken away. Like my thoughts weren't my own."

"Taken away? Like, from reality?"

Hank held his breath upon Fuji's last word. "I've heard people say that," she added, to explain.

"So you got up and walked out of the PEP Center," Anna said before huffing again.

Fuji gave her a stern look while addressing Hank with kind words. "Don't you want to know what you are? Anna and I are counselors at the PEP Center, and we can help. Discovering you're a Genius is often very trying."

Anna, perhaps realizing her behavior had been unprofessional, listened to Fuji politely with her hands folded in her lap.

"Well, I don't think I'm anything," Hank said. "I think I'm a false positive."

Sue Marie gasped sweetly at the horror of Hank being a Dot. Fuji continued counseling, as if they were in her office at the PEP Center.

"But you don't know that," she said.

"No. But, I don't know… it felt wrong. I don't think I should be a Genius, even if I am one."

Sue Marie piped up as her bouncing resumed. "But why? Why wouldn't you want to be a Genius? Everybody wants to be one!"

"I just don't know," Hank said into his teacup, drinking so he wouldn't have to talk.

"You didn't take a test, Squirrel," Anna shot at Sue Marie. "Don't you want to be a Genius?"

"Oh, but I'm an idiot!" Sue Marie confessed before laughing loud. "Everyone knows that!"

Fuji chastised her. "Oh hush. You're beautiful." To Anna, she added, "You both are."

Hank sat in silence for a while, listening to the threesome talk. He didn't pay attention to what they said, but instead to how they behaved. Everything Fuji did was an exercise in effort and grace. Sue Marie often kept her head bowed when the attention of the room wasn't on her, or when being mothered by Fuji. And Anna, although young and brash, looked upon her friends with admiration, especially when Fuji gave a compliment or Sue Marie offered a smile.

From time to time, when Anna and Fuji weren't looking, Sue Marie shot Hank with a sexy look. Her perfume smelled like red cotton candy, twirled up on a paper cone, and Hank decided then and there he would stay with these women for as long as they would have him. Wherever they went, he would follow; what they wanted of him, he would give, humbly and totally, and with the utmost respect.

I'm RMing, he thought.

"It's like love," Milton had once said about Reality Making. "You can't describe it, but you know when you feel it. And even though it feels different every time, it always feels like love. It's as if a thousand butterflies have landed on you—softly, slowly, one by one. You don't notice until they fly off all at once, and bam! Reality has changed! You were walking through an orchard, admiring the blossoms, and the next thing you know, they've fallen all around, and cherries grow in their place!"

"Just for you!" Milton might have added, with a flourish of his big voice and bigger hands.

Hank was pretty sure it was the blossoms, and not the butterflies or trees, that fell in Milton's metaphor. It was hard to tell with him sometimes, as he liked to ramble.

"It's beautiful," Milton might have added, as he also liked saying grandiose things.

"So, Hank-sama," Fuji said, snapping him out of his daydream. "I think we need to figure out what you're good at. Then maybe you can take the test again."

"Did you ever take a test?" he asked.

Fuji laughed, causing tsunamis in everyone's teacup as her body jostled the table. "Oh my dear! I know what I'm good at!"

Anna popped out of the booth at that. "Can we go now, please?" she whined like a child.

Sue Marie chirped in agreement. "Don't you guys have go back to work?" She shot arrows of desire into Hank, as a hint of what might happen should she get him alone.

Fuji spoke resolutely. "One more pot of tea, my dears. Besides, I am working. I'm counseling this new Genius. I'm assessing what we ought to do, to help him transition from his former life into his new one.

"And we're having a very good time." She turned her silken voice onto the standing teen. "Anna-chan? Are we not?"

Anna sat back down, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. Without dismay, Sue Marie gave her a bright smile. Sue Marie's makeup, although heavy, was applied with an expert hand, complimenting her goldenrod skin. Hank figured her to have been an athlete once due to her physique, but now she must be a model, for there was no way she could be anything else.

She broke his mesmerizing stare by grabbing her teacup and slamming down its contents. She then waved the cup as close as she could under Fuji's nose.

"More teats for me, please!" she said in a sing-song voice, laughing at her silliness. Upon realizing her Freudian slip, she laughed all the harder, leaning her head against the wall of the booth. Anna and Fuji rolled their eyes in unison, an obvious and well-rehearsed act towards their friend's antics. Although Sue Marie liked pretending to be stupid, no one thought for a minute she could be so dumb. Rather, she enjoyed the attention her behavior gained.

Fuji shifted her great weight to serve tea to Sue Marie, as Anna made sure she didn't bonk into anything. Sue Marie remained leaning in her corner, grinning sly as a fox. Hank grew fearful of her gaze, because the erection her unbridled lust gave him would make standing difficult, should the need arise. As he hardened, he admired the three beauties he was with, who were kind enough to share part of their day with him.

One of his legs swung under the table now, like the way Sue Marie did at times with both of hers. Only when he swung his, he cracked her in knees a good one. After he banged her under the table again, she captured his leg between hers upon its third offense. She sat up straight and squeezed him hard, gaining a firm grip. Smiling for him, but not at him, she busied herself with her tea, pretending nothing was happening. She raised the cup to her glossy nude lips and sipped loud, setting her sexy doe-sized eyes on his luscious almond brown ones.

Hank feared his pants might explode. After satisfying herself with the affections of her prisoner, she released him with a pecan wink. Hank gave up on being able to stand for a while after that.

Luckily, he wouldn't have to for, as the group finished the second pot of tea, Fuji made sure there was a third. Even though it was a weaker, Oriental style, it was one that Sue Marie didn't need. Fuji handled her caffeine like a lady, and Anna seemed okay, assuming she drank any of the first pot before fetching Hank.

But Sue Marie was not okay. Whether it was the tea, Hank's presence, or just her squirrelly nature, it was clear why Fuji kept her penned in by the wall. Fuji mothered her with a guiding hand as often as she could, by holding down some fidgety body part. It reminded Hank of how a pet owner calms a puppy and, in this way, Fuji played perfectly into Sue Marie's intentions. She cast glances at her roommates at times, making sure they wouldn't scold her for being a rapscallion.

With the teapot under her control, Fuji lead the group. She served with expertise, obviously enjoying herself. Hank couldn't help but feel unworthy of the attention being given by such a kind-hearted woman.

Anna displayed girlish excitement over being the one in the group with the boy. For this, Fuji doted on her the most, and Hank could see why. Although Anna tried not to show it, she adored the appreciation her roommates gave for having brought him to their table.

When Fuji wasn't counseling Hank or holding down Sue Marie or doting on young Anna, she drank more than her share of the tea, and slowly got juiced. The cinnamon red of her dumpling cheeks grew brighter with each cup, and her breathing became labored. She caught Hank staring open-mouthed at her during a flagrant display, as she arched her back while taking in and blowing out hot air.

With his eyes on her body, she blushed through her mocha complexion. But rather than being embarrassed, she puffed up with her lungs full of air. She then leaned forward and pulled back her shoulders, causing her cannonball boobs to slowly scoot across the table towards Anna's marvelous pair hovering in front of her.

Anna rescued her teacup from the approach of Fuji's bosom, and her sunglasses next. She reared back in her seat, fearing their boobs may collide. Her eyes widened, until she realized what Fuji was doing.

"Momma-san!" Anna scolded. "Stop showing off!"

Fuji exhaled greatly, releasing orange blossom spice in the air.

"Nē! Kimi!" Anna whined.

Fuji shifted her eyes between Hank and Anna. "Oh, I'm sorry. But it's gotten hot in here, hai? Maybe I shouldn't have ordered our third pot!"

"Maybe you should keep your boobs to yourself," Anna muttered, making Sue Marie giggle.

"Okay, Hank," Anna said next, giving her big butt a bounce of its own. She turned towards him and stuck out her magnificent bosom. "Tell me what you've been up to."

He regaled her with tales about a dog named Bumbles, and its generous owner named Milton. He left out any mention of Reality Making and scary Rio, and some of the weirder things that happened, which was most of the story. But he didn't have to say much, as the women filled in the gaps with banter of their own.

Anna popped out of the booth again after finishing the last drop of tea, asking for the third time, "May we go now? Please, Momma-san?"

"Yes, we've definitely had our fill. I suggest we eat dinner. I'm making tempura, which we'll dip in fondue."

"Yay!" Sue Marie squealed. "I love tempura!"

"Oh, Sue-san," Fuji praised, twisting and adjusting and reaching to pat Sue Marie's hand with both of hers. "You love everything I do."

Sue Marie nodded in agreement, her head bobbing as she bowed. Although she adored Fuji's love, right now she did all she could to get her to hurry up and exit the booth.

"I have to pee!" Sue Marie giggled. "Don't you?" she asked of Hank.

Fuji ignored Sue Marie's antics. She puffed on her breath while standing. "Tonight, Hank-sama will see if he likes what I do.

"In the kitchen, that is," she added with sass. She reached across the table and prevented everyone from moving by laying a hand on Hank's wrist. "Then we'll see if we can help you with your Genius."

She smiled her eyes into slits as she finally got out of the way. "Sounds good to me!" Hank cheered, almost as eager as Sue Marie to use the bathroom. "Let's go!"

Anna stood at a distance that was the bare minimum Hank needed to exit the booth. She watched him rise to his full height and forced him to squeeze past. Sue Marie scampered out from around Fuji as soon as she was able, and flopped into Hank's arms. She acted like she stumbled, yet hiked her left leg up behind him, placing her knee below his butt. She proved from this position how she could take him down flat on his back to the bench he'd just exited, with her on top of him.

Fortunately, she didn't. Instead she hung her body on his, draping her arms over his shoulders. With force, she grabbed the back of his head, pulling down to plant glossy nude kisses on his soft pale lips.

She talked into his mouth while kissing. "Oh God! I want this!"

Before Sue Marie got any further, Anna yanked her off by the scruff of her neck. Showing Hank she was as strong as she was beautiful, Anna held Sue Marie up on her toes, shaking her like a naughty cat. As Sue Marie hung helpless, Anna hissed in her ear, mixing Japanese with English. Sue Marie slumped under Anna's browbeating, before being dropped unceremoniously to her feet.

Looking chastised with her head bowed, Sue Marie peeked at Hank through mascara-plumped lashes. Fuji stepped in and separated the scrappers, taking each one by an elbow and steering them toward the ladies' room.

"Let's use the bathroom and go home," she said with the sternness of a nanny.

Sue Marie made Fuji wait while she retrieved her purse, which was crammed into her space on the bench by the wall. It was more of a miniature backpack, made of fuzzy fake lavender fur. It's surface was covered with stickers and other gewgaws, either dangling from it or glued to its surface.

Rather than wearing American clothes, Sue Marie dressed like a Japanese kogyaru. She sported knee-high white go-go boots and faded pink hot pants, with a belt that bore a chunky buckle adorned with colored glass. In step with Kogal fashion, there was a keychain clipped to a belt loop on her hot pants. Although any keys it held were tucked in a pocket, a rubber Tamagotchya character dangled on the outside.

Fuji had no purse, but Sue Marie had enough stuff crammed in hers to assist with what Fuji might need. She probably carried things for Anna as well, as her white accent purse was capable of holding only the barest of female necessities.

Hank marveled at how Fuji looked from the back as she walked away, centered between her young roommates. She had a waistline that was a bit smaller than her hips, and for a woman with cannonball boobs, he decided she wasn't fat at all. Her garment was tailor made; a short-sleeved black satin choli, which wrapped tight around her torso. It employed a variety of lacey straps to support her impressive breasts. A sewn-in sash ran around her midsection, where the transition from choli to sari took place.

From where the top ended, just past her knees, loose black slacks could be seen. They were made of the same expensive material as her top, minus the lacey straps. The top was slit in front, allowing her legs to pass through when she walked, yet closing when she stood still. Hank was no fashion expert, dressed in simple jeans and a top, but her outfit took his breath away.

"Oh! Let's not walk home," she heaved in silken tones to her friends.

"We'll get a cab!" Sue Marie chirped. "All of us in a cab will be fun!"

"You'd better pee, too," Anna called over her shoulder to Hank, unashamed as the trio walked away. "It's a long ride if you don't!"

Hank knew his mouth hung open with a geeky grin, but he could not care less. This had already become the best day of his life.

And he had yet to even taste Fuji's tempura.

A note from ArDeeBurger

Although while growing up, I was more a fan of L. Frank Baum and Lewis Carroll, my family owned a lot of books written by Howard R. Garis. It wasn't hard to do, as the man wrote many thousands. 

Honestly. I don't know how he found the time. 

So if the frying pan doesn't jump off the porch swing to stop the pancake from chasing the parakeet, I'll tell you the story about Hank's cab ride to Anna's place. 

In fact, I'll probably tell you regardless. These guys are a hoot! 😃

About the author


  • Upright. In the Den.
  • Sci-Fi Action Adventure, propelled by a little Romance.

Bio: "Arise!" The star-studded empress of night
Gave me the keys to her city.
Bathed me in breath, told me of plight,
Force-fed my conscious with pity.
Pointed toward East, down past the yard
Through revolving doors of her courthouse.
Megaphones cry. "A guinea a head!
"Everything's fun at the Circus!"

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